Pushing Back On The Mud, Day Eleven

April 12, 2023, Aptos, CA- The little girl’s hands were caked with an eerie green chalk dust, as she pretended to be a threatening monster. I pretended to be equally scared, and ran away, ever so slowly. Anything one can do to relieve the ominous forces that have upended so many lives, young and old alike, is an imperative. Getting her to giggle with delight was huge.

We all deal with monsters. Some are internal, including my own tendency to see any exclusivity or clannish behaviour as a repudiation of my presence. Others are from without, the relative handful of people who seek to squash anything I do, out of hand. There are only a few such individuals here, among the Red Cross staff and volunteers, and thankfully, their power and influence is shrinking.

I did not ask for the position of manager, preferring to be on the same level as my coworkers, but here we are and I will complete the tasks assigned me. My most virulent critic and foe does not think much of our partner organization, either. At least he does his job in a competent manner, so I can abide his jabs and taunts-for the few days that remain. .

The monsters in our lives always reflect any inner self-doubt that remains, harboured like a latent virus, in the inner folds of the psyche. Maybe that’s why J’s nastiness and the criticism of some of the upper management are playing out like nails on a chalkboard. I haven’t run a large scale operation before, and it is taking every ounce of self-confidence to get through a given day. The wounds are salved, though, by my immediate supervisors, who keep the “wolves at bay” and encourage continuing through to the end of my watch.

Internal, or external, it is the monsters who are doomed.

6 thoughts on “Pushing Back On The Mud, Day Eleven

  1. You are doing such good, Gary. The big picture is that your assistance is invaluable in this situation. You are encountering real-life problems and tragedies, and real-life bullies and nay-sayers. I am glad you are keeping your spirit alive and not getting defeated by the negative influences in this society. You are strong in the Covenant, and that is what really matters. Love, Judy

    Liked by 1 person

  2. “My nastiness?” — one of my monsters shows up in introspectiion when such comments appear! I loved the story of the little girl with the green hands — and am glad that you are having a successful run at the Aptos shelter!

    Liked by 1 person

  3. There are naysayers – always. I think that having buy-in from most of the rest of the team will soon silence the negativity. Sounds like a tough job that you are handling with even temper and humor! Bravo!

    Liked by 1 person

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