December 29, 2023- I went to breakfast at a truck stop this morning, served by someone who came out with an interesting take on life: ”I work hard for my money, and I don’t want to take on any squatters.” The person mentioned paying down a mortgage, so there is a house in the picture. Those who earn their keep, in my view, have a legitimate claim to determining how their money is shared-including, to some extent, contributions to the tax rolls. Where we run into trouble is in not communicating to one and all, the concept that each of us is responsible to contribute to the common weal. There should be no layabouts, when others are working. There also should be no denying an able-bodied, willing worker a chance to contribute to said common weal. 

A few hours later, I went to a favourite establishment, in the same town, to get a plate of enchiladas, most of which has come back with me to Home Base, in the ongoing regimen of portion control. There was a new server on board, my surrogate daughter having decided to go back to college, with her husband’s support. The new lady had her children with her, as R always did. She showed the strength of the home and work juggler-managing to be server, cashier, busser- and mother. The regulars know this, and encourage her to keep on-at whatever pace she finds workable. Someday soon, her “tween” daughter will find this out as well.

These thoughts came back to me this evening, as I ponder a few relationships that have arisen, over the past few years. It is a childhood fantasy, that friendships sprout up and stay together, with little time elapsed or effort made to strengthen them. The first fantasy is a product of the brevity of a child’s life, up to that point. The second is usually corrected, with the tasks that need to be jointly done, even in fairly uncomplicated play. One who doesn’t do his/her part in the clean-up, at the end of the playtime, is shunned, sooner or later, by the others. Someone who is not trustworthy is figured out by playmates, and likewise finds a lot of alone time.

I have had a few lapses of judgment, and done what I could to make amends. I am willing to bet that we all have, at one point or another. There are no robots in this crowd. With my newer friends, one in particular, only time and consistency on my part will breed trust. It is with this acknowledgement, that the long game-frequent and clear communication, generosity of thought and action-and being present, both physically and mentally, over a period of years, is now in progress. These relationships are worth it. I hope yours also work well.