Monthly Archives: November 2024

The Face of Unity

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Posted by on in collaborating, Community, distraction issues, Family, impediments, Matters of Faith, Personal goals, Personal Values, Social, Spiritual, Striving

November 20, 2024- “The core of a child’s education starts with the mother.” Upon my uttering that statement, a chorus of naysayers erupted with their buts, howevers and whatabouts. Methinks they missed the word core. A father does indeed have to stand alongside a mother, and augment the child’s learning. Grandparents and other adult relatives are the second layer of learning reinforcement. Teachers and neighbours, the “village” that it takes to raise a child, are the tertiary layer, and on outward it goes. No, friends, the entire village cannot be on top of the child, all at once.

Several of us were gathered in a comfortable Southwestern-style home, to ponder the question, “What does a unified community look like?” Much of the time was spent in putting forth, and sifting through, various and sundry individual points of view and reflections on life experiences that emanate from life in an often harsh and imperfect world.

Unity starts with respect for, and from, the individual. It proceeds outward, only when one has self-respect and when genuine respect for others emanates from oneself. That respect has to be a two-way street. A political conservative, even a reactionary, cannot advance real unity, without having respect for liberals and progressives. The converse is equally true.

Unity continues with each one having what my father called the courage of your convictions. True courage involves recognizing that what I think and feel does not have to be what anyone else thinks and feels-and the converse is also true. I can be equally at home talking with the members of my American Legion Post, or with conservative Christian friends, as I am among Progressive groups or those committed to social justice. Their opinions are not their souls.

Unity necessitates that the group be able to separate fact from fancy. It also goes back to respect: No adult has the right to live their life through their child, or even through their spouse. We live for our loved ones, and with them. Arriving at a point of unity means talking with the significant other, with the offspring, ascertaining everyone’s wants, needs, dreams and seeing what is most important for the group, and for each of its members. Penny’s mantra was “Consultation is finding out.” I can think of no better way to put it.

Do you think that submitting to the dictates of a strongman will solve the problems of the community, or of the nation? How does that affect the future of your children-both in the immediate and in the far future? Do they not have a say in the matter?

Want to invest in bitcoin? How will that impact your family or group of friends? Should you not discuss this fully with your near circle?

Wish you had a son, instead of a daughter-or vice versa? Does that give you the right to talk him/her into transitioning, even before full adulthood, or even before full puberty? How will that impact the life of that precious soul-tomorrow, next year, and ten, twenty, fifty years from now? Is that not an informed decision to be freely made by the person in question, as a mature adult?

It is well-known that I have deep feelings for someone who presently lives far from me. I also have deep feelings for my little family in Texas, for my siblings and extended family, across the continent and for all manner of friends in this community, and beyond. Any decision that I make, that impacts the life of any one of them, will actively take into consideration their thoughts, feelings and sensibilities. That is my path of unity.

The impact on unity of our decisions is large and small. Slight disunity is like a pebble in a shoe. Major disunity is like a brain tumour, or an abdominal stone. Most, if not all, of it can be avoided by consultation. The greater the chasm, the longer the bridge.

We did not arrive at a picture of what unity looks like, but we did leave the house with an overall sense of respect for one another. We did arrive at the realization that we are each primarily spiritual beings in physical bodies. We will proceed from there, in our deliberations.

“We Don’t Do That, Here”

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Posted by on in collaborating, Community, impediments, Inspiration, Personal Values, Social, Spiritual, Striving

November 19, 2024- It did not really surprise me, when a driver, headed south, blew through the red light. It did not surprise me, either, later this afternoon, when a self-absorbed young man pushed open the door to the gym and let it fly back. We who were behind him, saw it coming and just hung back a bit.

These were the gadflies, because we don’t customarily act in those manners towards our neighbours, around here. I rather doubt that most people, anywhere, behave in such a fashion, but here we are.

This is a town, though, where cowboys and hippies long ago made peace with each other. Arch-conservatives and progressives gather each Tuesday at noon, on opposite corners of Gurley and Cortez, each posting their respective messages. When it’s all over, the two groups mix together and socialize. A while back, when Red for Ed was a popular phrase used by liberal teachers, a rally was being held at Courthouse Square. A disgruntled reactionary, a lawyer of some repute, decided it’d be worth his while to drive by and yell cuss words at the mothers with children who were standing on the sidewalk. It was not the liberals who taught him right from wrong, but some supporters of then-President Trump who pulled him over. “We don’t do that here!” (He has not been visible at public events since that day.)

This is a town where support for clean air and water, for unadulterated, certified organic food, for natural supplements, is well-nigh universal. There are no questions asked of people who sport t-shirts or bumper stickers with provocative messages, because they don’t challenge those who promote the opposite messages. Live and let live, by and large, is what we do here.

This is, up to now, a town where unhoused people can get healthy meals and are less likely, for the time being, to be forced to sleep outside for lack of shelter. There are some who take issue with that, but for now, harassing the homeless is not something we do here.

This is, up to now, a town where the Master Plan specifically eschews discrimination based on race, national origin, gender, faith, political stance or sexual orientation. One city councilperson would like to see that changed, as that’s not how it is where she’s from. She is hearing, though, that discrimination is not something we do here.

We do civility here.

“How’s That for Love?”

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Posted by on in Assistance, collaborating, impediments, Inner Struggles, Personal Values, Social, Spiritual, Striving

November 19, 2024- So says Kate, the adolescent daughter of a pediatric surgeon and an intelligence operative, to her mother, after hugging her father, after he’d been attacked by the father of one of his patients. This began the second episode of “Lioness”.

Love doesn’t always come easily and even the deepest is not always requited. We humans always need to have free will, before any kind of attachment or commitment can be made. I am no different, in that regard. There are those whom I have placed in the categories of friend, or extended sibling, who once wished that I would offer a different, more intimate role in my life.

Then, there are situations where mutual love exists, but the life experiences of one or both parties serve as blocks to the free expression of that love. A fear of commitment may follow the sudden death of a spouse, after which there was no time for grieving, for processing, for closure. Compound that by the incomplete grieving of one’s children, and the wariness is multiplied.

The real deal, in this set of circumstances, places the needs of the loved one, and the loved one’s family, front and center. Nothing changes, in the lover’s self-concept. Alternative plans are prepared, just in case, but the communication does not stop. Life goes on, in every other avenue of endeavour, while every effort continues to help the beloved achieve dreams and goals. There is wide latitude given, in the hope that the grieving over the prior loss can resume, and become complete. There is a standing offer of emotional and spiritual support.

How’s that for love?

Misogyny

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Posted by on in children, collaborating, Community, Family, Inspiration, Personal goals, Personal Values, Social, Spiritual, Striving

November 17, 2024- I watched the first episode of “Lioness” this evening. It is a spy thriller, centered on women secret agents and fighters, in a Middle Eastern backdrop. Each of the women has a male advocate, if not a lover. They just don’t really need those men, day to day. One of the central characters comes to the Lioness program by way of escaping from a gang of disaffected, misogynistic men.

I thought back to how I was raised-to be a gentleman (by my father), countered by male peers who were alternately respectful of our mothers, sisters, grandmothers and aunts, while carrying a veneer of seeing other girls and women as means to an end. It was the stuff of adolescence, certainly, but subliminally was carried forward into our group psyches.

My wife became my equal, my partner, by dint of her sheer intellect and tough personality. Penny grew to become nobody’s fool. I became someone who did not need a fool. As the first true love of my maturity grew into a fully independent woman, so I began to grow into a fully independent man. From there, we both became interdependent.

In the years immediately following her passing, I found the sticky residue of my adolescence clinging to my psyche. As sheer will power and prayer had helped me shed alcohol dependency, thirty years earlier, so did they help me shed the stench of misogyny that was trying to get out. I let it out, along with the lack of self-esteem that is behind all such negative dust. True maturity had been reached.

Young men, around the world, face challenges to their self-concept that have historically been faced by posturing, adopting a dominant position towards their female peers and subscribing to a false sense of entitlement. This is the ethos of The Pack. There is an alpha male, but his “true strength” is only evident when the rest of the peer group is present, for reinforcement. The public face of misogyny is the Incel (“involuntary celibate”), who takes the stance that abstinence from sex is being forced on him by a conspiracy of women and other men.

In truth, though, focusing on one’s sexuality is dealing with only the outer trappings of insecurity. Procreation has an important place in the order of society, but it is only a place. A person, male or female, who has been raised to truly value self, who is focused on his/her totality: Intellect, variety of interests, physical stamina, dreams and goals, social skills, spirituality-will be more likely to know success, to be resilient in the face of challenges and less likely to blame others when things go wrong.

These are things I have come to fully realize, over the past fourteen years.

Pounded

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Posted by on in collaborating, Community, impediments, Inner Struggles, Personal Values, Social, Spiritual, Striving

November 16, 2024- No doubt, the wind and water were practically freezing people in their tracks, as the monster called Man-yi, the sixth (or seventh) of its kind to hit the Philippines, in little over a month, wrought floodwaters, mud and collapsing buildings, from Samar, in the central region known as Visayas to Aurora, in northeast Luzon. People who I helped, after the earlier Typhoon Kristine, will not be able to tell me if that aid survived Man-yi (“Pepito”), for several days. They appear to be safe, in either government shelters or with family, elsewhere. Those in Metro Manila, including K, have full plates, I’m sure, keeping track of those close to them who live in Bicol, Catanduanes and Samar. Metro itself does not appear to have suffered.

Here at Home Base, the talk is more about who will serve in what position. What will they do, to cut the national debt? Whose jobs will they cut? Will there be attention paid to what the new “masters” regard as frivolous programs? Will they have frivolous programs of their own? In any adjustment of budgets and spending that involves large numbers of people, there needs to be attention paid to the households, and communities, that will be disrupted if there are mass layoffs and job cuts. This process can not be a frivolity in its own right. It can’t be managed by AI, by people acting like AI or by someone several degrees of separation from those impacted on the ground. (That last has been a sore point with those who, ironically, identify with the populist movement which seems to have prevailed, worldwide.) It stands to reason that meaningful work needs to be generated, at local and state levels, or in the private sector, before the proverbial swamp gets drained.

Nature, in this time of global change, can be brutal and unforgiving. It has consequences, both anticipated and unknown. Government, in this time of rearrangement and a degree of revanchism, does not have to be blinkered, in its pursuit of economy and justice for the small tax payer. Planning ahead and layering of cutbacks can prevent wholesale collapse of local economies from immediate mass cuts in government spending. It is not impossible for jobs to transferred to the private sector or to lower tiers of government, if enough advance planning is exercised.

We don’t need to leave one another feeling pounded. Nature does that well enough, on its own.

Little Bubbles Burst

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Posted by on in Assistance, children, collaborating, impediments, Personal Values, Social, Spiritual, Striving

November 15, 2024- The young boy was at the end of his rope, sitting with an otherwise all-adult crowd, listening to songs not intended for his ears, because his mother had no choice other than to bring him along. Chairs were strung together, he laid down on them and managed to sleep for 30 minutes or so. The singer of ribald tunes noticed and sheepishly apologized, after his collaborator in the artists’ nook gave him The Look. The fare was noticeably more family friendly afterward. One little bubble got burst.

Not long ago, a woman frantically berated her co-worker for having stated that she voted a conservative slate, up and down ballot, almost two weeks ago. “You’re Mexican! Don’t you care that these guys are going to throw us all in private prison!!” The chastised one looked up and said, “Remember Vicente Fox? Adolfo Lopez Mateos? Besides, you and I are native born U.S. citizens. We need to be safe from the sicarios. The tough guys will do that for us.” Neither bubble was burst, by this conversation, but at least it happened.

The doctors, in a small urban hospital, on an island far to the northeast, routinely dismissed women who came to them with chronic pain. The issues presented seemed too “intractable”. Problems are supposed to just go away, when one is overburdened by being part of a short staff. That all stopped, when one of the “frequent flyers” up and died-from the cancer that was missed. The bubble of preconceived notions was burst, and loudly.

Our mental bubbles seem to keep us safe; until they don’t.

Beaver Moon

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Posted by on in collaborating, Community, Inspiration, Personal Values, Social, Spiritual, Striving, Travel

November 14, 2024- The wind whipped the clouds around, but there was the moon, nearing full, at the time of year when beavers start storing food in their lodges, for winter sustenance. Thus, one day early, a group held an online meditation about the Beaver Moon. The meditation follows a similar pattern, month to month.

A treasure vase one that is buried in places of significance, around the world. Treasure vases have been interred in locales such as The Cloisters, in New York City; Livermore Laboratories in Berkeley; Masai Mara, outside Nairobi and Uluru, in the Outback of Australia’s Northern Territory. Over 100 such vases have been interred, and each is mentioned in the circle. Then a foot to crown meditation, involving deep breathing and focus, takes place among those assembled.

The time chosen for this month’s event was 10 a.m., PST. By then, I was finishing placing honorifics of another sort in the ground. Three bunches of silk flowers now help mark the grave of Michele Smith, a Baha’i friend of thirty-five years. After dropping off a few other gifts at her daughter’s house, I headed back towards Home Base, from Carson City.

The drive back was uneventful. The moon, though, kept watch on me-as evening gathered. I was the sole customer at Cosmic Diner, Amargosa Valley, NV, as a young lady served a fairly good fried chicken sandwich and raspberry ice tea, with the same sense of honour as if she were working a dining room at Bellagio. I like that about rural Nevadans. Where they are is plenty good enough.

I make one stop to top off gas going north, in Las Vegas and another stop going south. Most service stations have rest rooms. The Rebel Arco on west Craig Blvd does not. Plan ahead. It was okay, as there is a Jack in the Box next door. End of TMI.

At the end of Beaver Moon’s watch, I found it necessary to drive through the back streets of Ash Fork, which I had not previously done. The occasion was the closure of the exit ramp for U.S. 89 south. So, I found that there were many more houses in the little town than I had realized. Every locale has its wonders.

Beaver Moon will be full tomorrow night, so I will walk to the Raven Cafe after a Zoom devotional, bathing in its light. Life is good, whether here or abroad.

Headwinds

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Posted by on in collaborating, Community, distraction issues, Inspiration, Matters of Faith, Personal Values, Social, Spiritual, Striving

November 13, 2024, Carson City- It was quite blustery, throughout the day, though the winds were temporarily lighter, as three of us prayed at Michele Smith’s grave site and placed a few items at the otherwise as yet unmarked resting place. ( I will place another item or two there, tomorrow morning, and the family will put a tombstone up, in due time.)

Afterwards, we went to one of their favourites, and mine: LA Bakery. While enjoying a great brunch, Red (the family members) and Purple (yours truly) shared what we appreciate about those on the right-hand side of the fence, while agreeing to disagree about what is to be appreciated about their opposite numbers. I can see excesses on both sides, but I also see that the differences between those two sides are exacerbated by the wire pullers, who are the only ones standing to gain from division. These are the latter-day Aeoluses, generating the headwinds that have come from focusing on the negative elements of both right and left.

Both lies being told about high-profile figures, and manufactured issues, are coming from dubious sources. The whole bathroom issue is best handled by the establishment of unisex rest rooms-themselves an outgrowth of the need for opposite sex caretakers of disabled adults to be able to take their loved ones and charges into a toilet, without annoying other men and women. (I was on the ground level on that issue, when needing to get my late wife in and out of rest rooms, in the 2000s.) The issue of biological males and, to a lesser extent, females competing on sports played by members of their transitioned sex could conceivably be handled by establishing leagues and conferences specifically for transgendered people. (No, it is NOT the same as the Negro Leagues of the first half of the Twentieth Century.) There are probably enough transgendered adults to make that doable.

The bar of social behaviour could stand to be raised. Profanity is a choice. It is not necessary, and certainly not enjoyable, to be subjected to cussing in music, on movies and cable television programs, almost on a continuous basis. Dumbing down of language reflects and exacerbates lowered expectations about thought and behaviour. Who benefits from such? Why, it is the wire-pulling class. These also are the prime beneficiaries of the class discrimination that so often is mirrored by racism and misogyny. Notice how deft the self-styled elites have been at tarnishing the reputations of genuinely heroic figures, and at pointing out to struggling lower and middle class figures just how awful the “other side” is.

The only real “them and us” are those who are honestly just trying to get a leg up in the world (both left and right,and everyone in between) versus those who want to keep the “great unwashed” in their places. This dichotomy is beginning to generate real headwinds. Expect them to gain in velocity and strength, the more the controllers try to keep the status quo.

Third Thoughts

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Posted by on in Assistance, collaborating, Matters of Faith, Personal Values, Social, Spiritual, Striving

November 12, 2024, Carson City- So often, when faced with novel situations, the mind goes through several gyrations-like the “lassie” in the nursery rhyme, who went “this way and that”. It can be confusing to onlookers, but it is frequently the only way a person can figure out the best way to work through the situation. Second thoughts can be overruled by third thoughts, as is the case with my dearest, right now.

So it is, with K and me, with regard to the possibility of my moving to be closer to her, in late Spring of next year. Some discussions will take place, through messaging, over the next three months, and in-person, when I next go back to the Philippines, in February. Stay tuned, and nothing is carved in stone.

I went to visit with the family of a long-time friend, who passed on while I was in Manila, last month. They spoke a lot about her earlier life and about their sibling’s adoption, so many years ago. They are showing cohesion as a family, a tribute to all the work their parents did to keep things together. Constant consultation kept peace in the house, when there were differing opinions.

While I was driving up here from Beatty, earlier today, I got a Bluetooth call from a friend who wanted to discuss a long-standing issue between him and another friend. The conversation revealed deeper issues than the matter being raised, and I urged the friend to be bold and reach out, in an unobtrusive manner to the person viewed as causing the problem.

Second thoughts often lead to third thoughts, and to resolution.

A Sane and Intelligent Patriotism

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Posted by on in Assistance, collaborating, Community, Family, Inspiration, Matters of Faith, Personal Values, Social, Spiritual, Striving

November 11,2024-

“Let there be no misgivings as to the animating purpose of the world-wide Law of Baha’u’llah. Far from aiming at the subversion of the existing foundations of society, it seeks to broaden its basis, to remold its institutions in a manner consonant with the needs of an ever-changing world. It can conflict with no legitimate allegiances, nor can it undermine essential loyalties. Its purpose is neither to stifle the flame of a sane and intelligent patriotism in men’s hearts, nor to abolish the system of national autonomy so essential if the evils of excessive centralization are to be avoided.”- Shoghi Effendi, The World Order of Baha’u’llah, pgs 41-42.

Relatively few people, deep down, are hateful towards their families. There are always disagreements and sometimes outright quarrels, but let an outsider attack a member of the brood, and the wagons will circle.

Go up the chain, towards community, state and nation-and the same process will play out. There are nations where the populace is restive, and outwardly disdainful of their government. Let someone from outside the group try and enter the fray, however, and there will be a united front.

Our feelings towards our families, communities, states/provinces/prefectures/oblasts, and our nations are each a reflection of how we see ourselves. An emotionally and physically healthy person has positive self-regard, love of family and healthy appreciation for, with a degree of loyalty towards, her/his surroundings. It is second nature for a human being to defend self; for parents to stand up for children, and vice versa; for siblings, and even cousins, to band together; for neighbours to support one another, in time of need; and for the citizens of a nation to defend their homeland.

In this day, it is also imperative for the human race to stand together, in the best interests of our species as a whole. This does not mean militarizing against a still-ephemeral race, or races, of extraterrestrials. It means coming together to devise solutions to threats against our collective existence. Some are the results of natural cycles and others are wrought by human activity. We are a vast multitude of imperfect beings. Every one of us has made mistakes, and many of those errors have had ill effects on others, besides ourselves. Collectively, by dint of excessive self-centered behaviour or just in the course of trying to live an ordered life, we have exacerbated, ramped up the effects of a natural increase in global temperatures-yes, that global warming. It would happen anyway, because it’s a natural cycle, but our actions, as a species, have made it worse.

So, what is a sane and intelligent patriotism? To me, it is simply a love for all the units to which one belongs, a willingness to band together with others, and to work, tirelessly, for the good of the homeland. Our homeland, in addition to our nation, is Planet Earth.

“The earth is but one country and mankind its citizens”-Baha’u’llah, Lawh-i-Maqsud (Tablet of Intention)