Category Archives: children

Metro Manila, Day 5: A Day of Study, Then A Deluge

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Posted by on in Assistance, children, collaborating, Community, Education, Family, Inspiration, Personal Values, Service Activities, Social, Spiritual, Striving, Travel

September 15, 2024, Manila- There was an insistent parade of kids, in and out of the small conference room, as our study group continued on its course-looking into the Baha’i concept of Huquq’u’llah, or Right of God. This fund, which I have described before, is a voluntary obligation. Simply put, if a Baha’i accumulates a certain amount of money, above and beyond what is needed for expenses, it behooves the person to check into the current price of gold, and if s(he) has accumulated wealth equal to, or above, the value of 2.2246 ounces (69 grams), then 19 % of that amount may be paid to Huquq’u’llah. That satisfies the obligation, until another amount that meets that criterion is accumulated. One’s primary residence, primary vehicle and necessary household effects are exempt from this obligation. The bottom line is that such giving is between the individual and the Divine. Even those managing the fund have no business overseeing the frequency of giving.

My friend, Kathy, led the group study and discussion, setting a tone of gentleness and grace towards the children, who mostly just wanted to be sure their parents had not forgotten them, in the course of the meeting. The kids were in the capable hands of a separate instructor, but there is just nobody who can replace Mom and Dad. So, the in and out parade went on, as did our study, the two weaving around one another. It all served to increase my feelings of love and respect for her, and for Filipino culture.

We all dispersed, around 3 p.m., with the group members all going on with their family activities, and me going on, to do my laundry and post the photos from yesterday’s outing. The evening was quiet, at Ola! Hostel and the nearby Sasa Cafe, until it wasn’t. Around 10 p.m., the skies opened up, and the loud thunder that had been rumbling for over an hour, was accompanied by mildly flooded streets. This is nothing new to Manilenos, of course, and being up three floors from the ground level, I found nothing alarming, either. It just added an exclamation point to a mildly declarative day.

The Hurt of One

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Posted by on in children, collaborating, Community, Inner Struggles, Matters of Faith, Personal Values, Social, Spiritual, Striving

September 6, 2024- There are few details about how the young man ended up in hospital, other than “he was assaulted”. I remember him as a small boy of 8, the youngest of four children. The family, all three generations, is exemplary, and have only done good to their communities.

I am incensed by today’s news, yet am limited to prayer and a small contribution to help offset the cost of his care. His family is large and united, and so is their community. The young man has a lot of group energy going into his recovery. That is more than many have going for them, yet there is irony here. His father has worked, tirelessly, for thirty years to foster healing in communities across the country. Now, in this time of close to home, those of us who love and cherish what the family has represented will stand by them, in the best way each of us can.

The hurt of one shakes the world of all. It goes without saying-cherish those closest to you. Life and safety are never guaranteed.

Grace

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Posted by on in Assistance, children, collaborating, Community, Education, Family, impediments, Matters of Faith, Personal Values, Social, Spiritual, Striving

September 5,2024-

Grace be unto the angels who watch over me. Mom and Dad, Penny, Brian, Bunny and Norm, my grandparents, friends Marcia, Gordon, Margaret, Sallie, John H. They bring blessings to this small spiritual center.

Grace and benevolence to those who seek to oppress, that they may make a turn from their pursuit of power, vengeance, retribution, hegemony. May they see the value of unconditional love.

Grace, protection and guidance be to the children and youth, that they may realize their dreams, and bring about a convergence like those which have been tried, so often in the past.

Grace and beneficence to the dour, the tired and the disconsolate, that they may see the beauty and joy that they have overlooked, in the course of their viewing work as drudgery, as a necessary evil.

Grace be unto all the Universe, that every element, every creature be mindful, heartfelt of the Source that brought us all into being.

It was a good day today. The kids and I struggled a bit, with some features of the technological program, but all worked together and we accomplished the tasks. That was the morning, followed by a hearty curried chicken lunch. An evening meeting, of one of the organizations whose leadership I had found a bit oppressive, proved quite welcoming and joyful-with more people in attendance, who had previously avoided “the club”. The leaders themselves were far more cordial than in the recent past. Maybe they are feeling more optimistic, and therefore more expansive.

May it continue.

Inside Track

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Posted by on in children, Community, distraction issues, impediments, Personal Values, Social, Striving

August 30, 2024- Johnny and Matthew Gaudreau decided to spend the eve of their sister’s wedding bicycling near their family home in southern New Jersey. Not far away, someone else decided to spend the evening getting drunk. In a matter of an hour or so, the twain met.

Driving home, the drunken man became annoyed by the driver in front of him, who was going the speed limit, and then “inexplicably”slowed down. The careful driver eased to the left, so the impatient one decided he’d show who was boss, and passed on the inside-in Driver A’s blind spot-and…..hit the two bicyclists, killing both of them. Thus were the lives of six families- Johnny’s wife and children; Matthew’s wife and unborn child; the greater family Gaudreau; their prospective brother-in-law’s; the family of Driver A and that of the drunkard himself ( a decorated military veteran, and father of two) , irreparably upended and altered.

It is time to make passing a vehicle on the inside an illegal act, especially in areas where cycling is active. The practice used to be actively discouraged-at least in my home state of Massachusetts, when I was learning to drive. Back then, roads were seemingly half as crowded as now, and there was a lot more civility-and accountability. Errant drivers were more likely to be cited by the police, and called out by their fellow drivers, not by road rage or a raised middle finger, but face to face, in an admonishing manner. End of digression.

There is much about the culture of driving that makes no sense anymore-and it all derives from tunnel vision, a lack of awareness that there are in fact others around, whose lives matter as much as one’s own. We go about, almost on auto pilot, many “burned out” by life, or distracted by what’s next on the agenda and absolutely convinced that there is nothing more important than that next big, or little, thing.

Now, three children will grow up without their fathers and two others will probably see theirs only fleetingly. A loving couple will wed, in time, and two widows will raise their children, with a vow to “make their Daddy proud of them.” The horror of August 29, 2024 will ebb, but never completely go away-as such horrors are wont to never do.

Impatience, impaired judgment and insolence will continue to claim innocent victims, until the day comes when we look the beast in the eye and say “No more”. Such is the legacy of the Inside Track.

Another Banner Day

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Posted by on in Assistance, children, collaborating, Education, Family, Matters of Faith, Personal goals, Personal Values, Social, Spiritual, Striving

August 23, 2024- The little girl introduced herself, about ten minutes after the first group of students came in. When I told her of a newborn baby who shared her name, she shrugged and said “There are a lot of us”.

There was much that was matter-of-fact about this group of children. Even the most squirrely of kids were most responsive when expectations were clearly stated, and most resistant, when they thought I was listening to tattle tales. Those last were discouraged from their snooping and the wayward ones settled down.

Today was a shorter work day, so it took no adjustment to go over and pick up my healed Lenovo, which basically just needed to be cleaned up, internally. We are all set for the next few months, which will be quite full of the unexpected, even aside from my journey across the Pacific.

My family achieved another milestone, of a nature personal to my siblings and me. This is just one less matter that might have been irritating. It was handled professionally and well. It gives me confidence that we are each on the right track in our respective lives.

Another well-lived week has passed, giving more strength for what lies ahead.

Fierce

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Posted by on in Assistance, children, collaborating, Community, distraction issues, Family, impediments, Inspiration, Matters of Faith, Personal Values, Service Activities, Social, Spiritual, Striving, Travel

August 6, 2024, Holbrook, AZ- The little girl peeked out, from behind the screen door, as I was speaking with her grandmother, on the family’s porch. She quickly figured I was no threat and came outside smiling, with a hint of mischief on her face. Her t-shirt said “Fierce”, and that is how I remember her mother, who is away on personal business, when she was a child. The present child began to emulate a tiger kitten and paw at the air, with a mini-hiss. In time, and with her family’s continued guidance, she will be fierce-in a good way, the way her mother, at her best, has been.

This was a day spent under a sometimes ferocious sun, looking for gravesites that were not catalogued or mapped-and dependent only on the memory of a mutual friend to me and the decedents. In the end, I did not find either resting place, leaving one flower vase at the lonely, unattended grave of a combat veteran (Afghanistan, 2015) and keeping the other for placement tomorrow, at the tomb of a friend who died nearly forty years ago. It was hot and dusty, at both cemeteries, and I noted both well-kept, love-saturated gravesites and untended, often unmarked, plots, often next to one another. Wind and wild animals have taken their tolls.

I see ferocity as something that is rising, in the life of the world-both good (self-affirmation and love for others) and ill (self-aggrandizement and disdain for those who are different). I see once good-hearted and loving people turn sour and hateful, and I wonder what happened in their lives to make bitterness so appealing. My own life has had its share of trouble an disappointment- but much of that came from my own doing, and the part that wasn’t my fault was shared with a good many other people. I am fortunate to have been raised by sensible and loving parents, in a large extended family and in a close-knot neighbourhood, where any given child was “raised by the village”.

I drove across the Navajo and Hopi Reservations, as the ferocious sun was supplanted by monsoon rain. It was raining, as I left the second cemetery, stopped by the house mentioned above and while I stopped for dinner, at Keams Canyon Cafe, where I had many a meal during my residence in the area, in the mid and late ’90s. It was raining again, when I got here to the Motel 6, chosen after I noted that Keams Canyon Motel had been razed, since I was there last.

The world is fierce, in nature and in everyday life. Let us be equal in ferocity, in the best sense of that word.

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Coming Together

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Posted by on in Assistance, children, collaborating, distraction issues, Family, impediments, Inner Struggles, Inspiration, Matters of Faith, Personal Values, Social, Spiritual, Striving, Travel

July 28, 2024, Carson City- Little Man wanted to learn the simple game, which other members of the family were playing. So, he was given a seat at the table and the process was explained very simply. He’s a bright child, so it didn’t take long, and he was fully participating in the game-actually doing quite well at it. Allowances were made for his attention span, so he came and went-taking care of other things that had his interest.

His older sister was involved in the game, and played more consistently. A household chore took her away from the table, and that was more than okay. Peace in any house depends upon respect, across the board. When it later came time for her to spend quality time with her father, as well, that took priority.

There was a calm and very civil air in the house today. I sense it has much to do with the departure of some rather troubled and uncivil neighbours. Toxicity can spread, almost unannounced, insidiously. It was the first time, in quite a while, that the head of the household felt comfortable working in his own back yard, and the relief was palpable. These are good people, who have much love to give to their children and to extended family.

We are each individuals and will always have a sense of separation from even those closest to us. At the same time, we need one another, and pretending otherwise just leads to an unnatural divide. Coming together requires respect, in both directions. Miscreants can be brought into the fold, but on the terms of those who are practicing virtuous behaviour, not the other way around. There is a story that an early Baha’i told, of a saintly man and a ruffian. The saintly one told the ne’er do well that he could help him turn into a respected member of society, “in a month’s time”. The thug replied, ” I can corrupt you, in less than a day.” Both were right, underscoring the need for virtues to be instilled in children, and modeled in a consistent manner, by all significant adult role models in their view. Fortitude and self-discipline are needed, in withstanding the temptations thrown out by such as the miscreant in the story.

I am relieved that the two children, who I love very much, will no longer have to endure the nefariousness next door-and that everyone will be able to show the love for one another that has never been far below the surface, even in times of tension. This has been a wondrous cap to a very fruitful journey. Tomorrow, I head back to Home Base I.

Ucluelet to Comox

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Posted by on in Assistance, children, collaborating, Hiking and Nature, Historical, impediments, Personal Values, Social, Spiritual, Travel

July 23, 2024, Halfmoon Bay, BC- The excited children swore they had just seen harbor seals diving down to get fish, near the closed-off Amphitrite Point Lighthouse. It well could have been, as humans can’t get close enough to the actual lighthouse to disturb any marine animals, but the field of vision is certainly clear enough.

Amitrite Point, Ucluelet
Amitrite Lighthouse, Ucluelet. It is rather compact, but from its vantage point on the headland, the job got done.

Just north of Amitrite is Little Beach. From this small cove, one may gaze out southwestward. This is not the southern edge of Vancouver Island-that would be Victoria, from which one could see the Olympic Peninsula, on a crystal clear day. From Little Beach, there is nothing but ocean, all the way to Japan-from which the currents brought debris from the Fukushima earthquake and tsunami.

The westward view, from Little Beach, Ucluelet
Little Beach, Ucluelet
A lusher view of Amitrite Point-the trailhead of Wild Pacific Trail. Lighthouse Loop, which begins at Amitrite Point, is one of two segments of the “WP”, and is 2.6 km. The other segment goes from Big Beach to Rocky Bluffs (5 km, each way) and has a 1 km spur to the Ancient Cedars. I had a ferry to catch, so Yes, I “missed the Ancient Cedars”-though not entirely. Cathedral Grove presented a second chance, en route to Comox.

First, though, was a fine, lightly-milky bowl of seafood chowder, at Cedar Grill. Soup lunches have hit the spot lately, and this was no exception. It had the feel of Puget Sound-style chowder, with halibut, clams, scallops and lobster in the bowl.

Cathedral Grove, near Kennedy Lake,BC. Pardon the sideways view-WP has no provision for rotating.

Once past Port Alberni, I was back on the eastern shore of Vancouver Island. Around Deep Bay, there are several spots to enjoy the calmness of the Inside Passage.

Rest area, near Deep Point, Vancouver Island
Buckley Bay, looking towards Denman Island
Once at Comox, I was able to relax a bit at the ferry terminal. Here is the jetty, pointing eastward. It was a smooth ride, and a trio of us spotted a bowhead whale spouting, off the starboard bow. The whale was almost guiding us.

As it happened, once in Powell River, Sportage was the first vehicle off the boat, and so I bid farewell to Vancouver Island and hail to the Sunshine Coast. I was soon at Marland Motel, and in a clean, comfortable room, despite Google trying to tell me that the place was closed! Not so, according to the owner, who was grateful for those of us who checked in and stayed the night!

Tofino

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Posted by on in animal and plant life, Assistance, children, collaborating, Entertainment, Hiking and Nature, Historical, Personal Values, Social, Spiritual, Striving, Travel

July 21, 2024, Powell River,BC- I must have looked like a duck out of water, clad in t-shirt and shorts, in 55 F (12.7 C) and cloudy weather. A Tofino pull-over hoodie presented itself, and so the duck was back in the water, in short order. The few small children present appeared to breathe a sigh of relief. The adults, being the flinty sort, were more “Well now, that shows there’s a light on upstairs, after all, eh?” Thus it goes, when one finds slivers of foggy dew, after days of high heat, even ten kilometers inland.

Tofino, and its sister town, Ucluelet, are the north and south anchors of Pacific Rim National Park Reserve, western Vancouver Island’s well-visited gem. I first heard of the place, when sent a recording of a young girl prodigy from there, and was drawn to its artsy vibe. Friends who had been to the area corroborated this rather laid back aura, but said it was getting somewhat more commercialized. So, as with any other place that sets forth competing reputations, I had to go see for myself.

This brief break from Baha’i-centered visits took me to Whalers on the Point Guest House, at Tofino’s north end. The name refers to the whale hunting traditions of the Tla-o-qui-aht (“Clayoquat”, in English parlance) First Nation and their neighbours along V.I.’s west coast, as well as of the Makah people, across the Strait of Juan de Fuca. The large and comfortable, family-friendly hostel was a beehive of activity, especially in and around the kitchen. The ambiance, though, was most welcoming.

Between an evening sunset stroll (at 9:45 p.m.) and a longer walkabout in the downtown area, this morning, I got a sense of Tofino life. Here are some scenes.

The salubrious hostel
Clayoquot Sound, on a foggy Sunday morning

The entrance to Tofino’s children’s park
Salvage art, part of a display by Pete Clarkson, a marine debris collector. His Washed-Up Workshop has several pieces in this unique downtown garden.
Another of Pete’s pieces
Ciinul (totem pole), with explanation below:

So I found this earnest community, of First Nations people and eclectic artisans. Now, it was time to check out the National Reserve itself.

Devotion

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Posted by on in Assistance, children, collaborating, Community, Family, impediments, Inspiration, Matters of Faith, Personal Values, Service Activities, Social, Spiritual, Striving

July 14, 2024, Carson City- There is much that one does for love, in this life, that would not otherwise be on one’s personal agenda. Parents and grandparents most often know this. So do caretakers of disabled spouses or elderly parents. Teachers and coaches also do, to some extent, though their personal agendas are wrapped within their callings.

This goes well beyond the obvious things, like bathing and dressing those who are unable to do so for themselves, or watching small children who are playing outside, or in a public space. It extends to those who “hold their noses and play yet another round” of a game one finds tiresome or even irritating. It becomes, at its level best, an exercise in detachment.

Thus did a friend spend time with a beloved child. I joined them, finding actually a mild amusement in the game, which is more than a bit whimsical. Such is childhood, on occasion, and rightly so. There is more than enough preparation for adulthood that faces today’s children, and at an earlier age-despite what pundits and commentators say about delayed adolescence. There is that too, of course, and the rub is that someone has to be the mature decision maker and social actor. When an adult-even a parent-is in the midst of delayed adolescence, sometimes the child(ren) have to step in. I have seen this in a great number of cases, over the years. Children, in such instances, are out on a limb, and do the best they can-but they don’t have all the tools necessary to hold things together.

Grandparents are in a very special position. There are jokes made about being able to send the kids home, at the end of a day, but there is no love quite like that of Grandma, Grandpa, Nana, Papa, Nonna, Aba, Bump or Meemaw. It is, in its essence, a reflection of the deep love that is held for one’s adult children, that the thought of them not succeeding, of them suffering the injury or loss of their offspring is beyond the pale.

Being a grandparent in waiting, I understand this concept, and am glad to just be able to dote on those children and youths of other friends and relatives-until such time as my own grandkids arrive-and even then, devotion is unlimited.