Category Archives: children

Actual Vacation, Day 7

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Posted by on in Assistance, children, collaborating, Community, Education, Family, Hiking and Nature, Historical, impediments, Inner Struggles, Inspiration, Matters of Faith, Personal goals, Personal Values, Social, Spiritual, Striving, Travel

November 26, 2023, Grapevine- “1845 was the year that the Union joined Texas”, the young waiter intoned, tongue firmly in cheek. With that, my advance birthday dinner began, with what turned out to be endless lemonade (from Rio Grande Valley lemons), followed by Fort Worth filet mignon and oven baked Brussels sprouts, poblano meatballs and, for Son, a Game Combo of venison and quail drums (breasts and a leg). We can safely say that the plates, while not Texas-sized, were more than ample. The desserts were Texas-sized, and we’ll leave it at “Goodness, gracious, great balls of fire! I did have a sparkling candle in my pumpkin crispy, as word got out that my birthday is forthcoming. 1845: Taste Texas is top of the line, in fare and in style-no corners cut. It was a meal for the ages.

Before that, though, we took in the wild side of Dallas, and I don’t mean riding a mechanical bull. Cedar Ridge Preserve sits on the south side of Big D, and is intended to offer safe space for butterflies, birds large and small, and the small carnivores that keep other species in check. As the name implies, cedars are the dominant trees. There are a few ponds, here and there, but what sets this stretch of prairie apart from elsewhere in DFW Metro is the ups and downs offered by the 10-mile trail system. This park could be at home in Prescott. Needless to say, it was a good workout.

My little family on the move, Cedar Ridge Preserve
One of four stream crossings along the trail
Aram and Yunhee headed upstairs.

It was a fine cap to the Thanksgiving weekend, and a prelude to the end of my 73rd trip around the Sun-which comes on Tuesday. I also fly back to AZ on Tuesday evening, so this dinner fell nicely into place.

Now it’s time to look back at June, July and August. As with other months, people left. Some had checkered public records-Pat Robertson and James Watt left us, a day apart. Ted Kaszynski had a scary public record, finally taking his own life, in early June. Leslie Van Houten didn’t take her own life, but certainly took those of others, so many years ago. Cormac McCarthy wrote, tellingly, of other people’s checkered lives. Daniel Ellsberg warned us of same. Sinead O’Connor hollered about injustice, and sounded melodious. Dame Glenda Jackson astonished us, on stage and Paul Reubens made us chuckle, with his puckish wit. Robbie Robertson made us think, while honouring his First Nations family. Lahaina, Hawaii practically perished as a community, in a freakish wildfire.

Closer to my circle, the queenly countenance of Wilma Ellis left us Baha’is behind, for the spirit realm. Childhood friends Rodney Lavoie and Robert Ritchie passed their batons to their beloved children. A cousin, David Wonoski, passed suddenly and my last living uncle-by-marriage, Dave Dufour, saw the end of a long, varied and colourful life. JR Cline, with whom I visited twice on cross-country journeys, saw his long and valiant fight come to an end.

My path went to three camps, all carefully managed to the best of my ability. WiFi did not fade out this time, thanks to my iPhone. Other local homages were to a good friend who turned 60; to the Granite Mountain Hotshots, who perished ten years ago, at Yarnell Hill; and to the summer solstice, on, where better, Solstice Mesa, in north Prescott. I sat with a dog, later with cats, and tended to people’s needs at Hope Fest, which came early this year.

Travels were both long and short: A hike in honour of the departed Hotshots, at the State Park established in their names, preceded the 10th Commemoration, in downtown Prescott. A return to Bell Rock, near Sedona, brought variations in light into focus. A Grand Canyon visit, to the west side of South Rim, had to be cut short, when a deluge closed the main road heading south. I made a detour, through the Navajo Nation and Flagstaff, as I had an appointment in Prescott, the next day. July 17-29 took me through the Mojave Desert, Central Valley, Oregon and Washington, to British Columbia. There were visits with Baha’i friends in Ashland, OR, Victoria, BC-and, sweetest of all, a performance in “The Wizard of Oz”, by a girl I look upon as a grandniece, in Carson City. In each case, my visit seemed to have an outsized effect on the host’s sense of well-being. That’s actually the hope, wherever I go. New friends were also made in Ludlow, CA; Medford and Salem, OR; Centralia and Chehalis, WA.Richmond and Nanaimo, BC. That’s also the idea. Zipping down to a dental appointment, on two hours’ notice and zipping back up to get my trusty vehicle serviced, after a long trip-that’s also the idea.

As August ended, I headed out to a Baha’i school, the House of Worship in Wilmette, and mother’s milestone celebration. Many are those who fill my heart; she is first among them. The people I specifically visited, these three months, are also in that category.

Actual Vacation, Day 6

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Posted by on in Assistance, children, collaborating, Community, Family, Hiking and Nature, Historical, impediments, Inspiration, Matters of Faith, Personal Values, Service Activities, Social, Spiritual, Striving, Travel

November 25, 2023, Grapevine- Today was a day for bringing my wardrobe more into line with my reduced girth-so to Grapevine Mills, it was, after hosting a sumptuous brunch for my little family, at Egg Farm Cafe. I acceded to Yunhee’s request that I take clothes shopping a bit more slowly-and try stuff on. Three pairs of better-fitting pants and a smaller belt later, we left the folks at Old Navy and Nautica a bit happier.

Every year seems to get its sea legs, with the beginning of terrestrial (as opposed to astronomical) Spring. This year was no exception. The weight reduction program picked up steam, from March through May. I was down to 174, and still keeping with the program.

Other transitions happened. We lost an extended family member on March 3. Marion Fusi’s life was one of passionate love and concern for those around her. Two old lions of the Dineh Nation, Peterson Zah and Jack Jackson,Sr., left to be with the Holy People,at about the same time. Baha’is Lee Panek, III, Lisa Janti, Helen Kiely, Nancy Jordan, Jack McCants and Brianna Mowzoon joined the ranks of the Supreme Concourse. An old Xanga friend, Michel Fauquet, turned off his keyboard, for the last time. A fixture in my childhood, Hazel Stocker, went to join her steadfast husband. Celebrities who affected my life, at one point or another also went to the ether: Harry Belafonte, George Maharis, Astrud Gilberto, Amitai Etzioni, Jim Brown and Tina Turner.

A New Mexico jaunt, in mid-March, started at the home of old Baha’i friends, in Tonalea, AZ, at the foot of Black Mesa, a worthy destination in itself. The historical site of Aztec Ruins, in northwest New Mexico, followed, with an edifying walk in the rain. Then came a brief Santa Fe overnight, with calls on friends at Henry & The Fish and the Pantry Restaurant.

My Red Cross service was both local-in flooded Camp Verde, and further afield, in equally flooded Watsonville, CA. Taking a leadership role, especially at the latter site, was new, but I held my own. My team respected me, and immediate supervisors were approving of what we did.

California would see me again, in May, as a train took me from Flagstaff to Los Angeles, and between other trains and charter buses, the route continued through the Central Valley-with enjoyable stays at a hostel in Sacramento, on either end of a trip over to Reno and Carson City. Between those two cities, a RAV4 proved a delightful mode of transport. Being with Michele and the kids is always a pleasure. There was a loss of keepsake, on the way back-somehow, at either Bakersfield or Los Angeles, my jacket was taken from the luggage well and with it, the locket that contained a fading photo of Penny and Aram, when he was a baby-along with Penny and her mother, when Penny was a baby. Life went on.

The year was indeed coming to fruition and I was prepared for the camps at Bellemont-even putting in a day of solo service, raking a fair amount of pine needles, before having to head back to Prescott. There would also be a northbound trip, through the Central Valley, and beyond. Next up: June-August.

Actual Vacation, Day 5-

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Posted by on in Assistance, children, collaborating, Community, Education, Hiking and Nature, Historical, impediments, Inspiration, Matters of Faith, Personal goals, Personal Values, Service Activities, Social, Spiritual, Striving, Travel

November 24, 2023, Grapevine- Turkey Day leftovers made for a nice lunch, as they tend to do on “Black Friday”, and for days afterward. The day is crisp and clear, and many are headed to shopping malls/centers for Deals on Wheels-and on just about everything else. Son and I are not among them. He is taking a short break from the academic grind, and I am just taking a break, in general.

The Universe has not taken a break, of course. I learned, to my sadness, that an extended family member lost her spouse, a few weeks ago. They were a tightly-bonded couple, yet thankfully the family branch from which she comes is equally tightly-bonded, and will help her take one day at a time. Having been in similar shoes, a dozen years ago, I will keep them both in my heart.

The Force gives, as well as takes- 24 people who were kidnapped on October 7 have been released by their captors, in a prisoner exchange. Those freed by Hamas will go back to their homes and families, for a bittersweet Passover. Those freed by Israel will go home to their families, and face more uncertainty, at the conflict may well continue.

As is my wont, it is that time of year to look back at the past twelve months. This time, let us consider them, a quarter at a time. December, ’22-February, ’23- saw several leave our midst: Three stalwart Legionnaires, Gene Smylie (whose wife had passed a few weeks prior), Corky Hintz and Dwight Peters each had an outsized influence on the affairs of Post 6. Theirs will not be easy shoes to fill, but it looks like people are stepping up nicely. An old Baha’i mentor and friend, Bob Riggs, went to join his wife, in the spirit world. Celebrities, who influenced me in oblique ways, also left: Christine McVie, Barbara Walters, Jeff Beck, David Crosby, Raquel Welch, Gina Lollobrigida.

December-February provided many substitute opportunities, some of them for multiple days. Anything I can do to help children thrive is worth waking in the dark. Community service slots, at Solid Rock’s Monday night dinners, helping break down the Saturday Farmers Market, serving as co-host for Saturday morning Zoom calls and whatever the Red Cross needed, filled several days. Hikes and meals with friend Akuura also kept me physically on an even keel.

What made the biggest difference though, was going into an intensive weight reduction program-with heavy duty exercise, a strict meal plan and more resolve-courtesy of Ben Filer and True North Nutrition. As of February 28, I was well under 200 lbs. Dental health remained good, as did the skin scene.

Journeys always take their places in my world- a three-day California visit, in December, reconnected me with Ocean Beach and I found my spot there: Samesun Hostel. I also accomplished a hike down to Trestles Beach, San Clemente. House of Trestles was nearly deserted, but Harpoon Henry’s, in Dana Point, was delightful as ever.

February took me to southern Arizona, for a few days. Return visits to Boyce Thompson Arboretum and to Bisbee were coupled with introductions to Biosphere II, San Pedro House, the town of Patagonia and Nogales’ Pimeria Alta Museum.

Next up, a look back at March-May.

Beeswax Pull and The Flower Moon

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Posted by on in children, collaborating, Community, distraction issues, impediments, Inspiration, Personal Values, Service Activities, Social, Spiritual, Striving

November 19, 2023- The beeswax cone did what it was supposed to do, gently cleanse my ears, with a pulling effect. It pretty much confirmed today’s gentler tone-compared to yesterday’s angry intensity. I had more small tasks to do-checking in on senior friends at Post 6 (most are well), attending a Baha’i study session (respectful, but thorough, examination of a letter from the Universal House of Justice), picking up the Farmers Market order that I missed yesterday, this beeswax cleanse and a visit to a Holiday Market in Prescott Valley, to get gifts for Aram and Yunhee.

Now it’s almost time to go view “Killers of the Flower Moon”-an acclaimed depiction of modern day exploitation of resources on First Nations lands. I will have some comments on the film, in the next post. I will say, ahead of time, that the part of the human being that often is killed first is the spirit. Once that happens, it takes a generation or two to recover, if justice is truly exercised.

That brings me to this morning. Last night, I went to bed, questioning my place in this community. In the light of day, though, and after talking with a few friends, my message to those who don’t like my being here- some of whom may read this- is:

I have a place here. It is not defined by you, and no matter who you may try to turn against me, it will not end well. There are many who know my heart, which you do not. They know I have the best interests of children, teens and the disadvantaged always front and center. They know it has been this way, for 42 years. They know I am committed, I will respect your gentle friends, whom I met last night, and show them honour. I will do the same for you, even if you strike back in anger.

So, though you are popular, active in social justice causes and will be in the same spaces as I am, quite a bit- know that I am not going anywhere. We might as well get along; but if not, Prescott will remain my home-until I am needed elsewhere.

Not Ugly

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Posted by on in Assistance, children, collaborating, Community, distraction issues, Education, impediments, Inspiration, Personal Values, Service Activities, Social, Striving

November 17, 2023- Someone wrote a note to Daniela. In English, it said “You’re ugly!” Then it said, “Nobody’s as ugly as you.” Daniela sneered and sat on the note. After her class left, a group of younger students came in. One of them found the note, and gave it to me. That’s how I knew what it said, and why Daniela sneered.

She is not an ugly girl-nor is any other child in this community ugly. The spirit of one who makes that judgment is rather feo. Spirits, though, can change-have to change. I took a class that had several groups visiting. They each had the same assignment. I found that there were no difficult groups-just more people to whom I felt and showed love.

That’s the beauty of being here-of being with those whose lives are all ahead of them; to whom I can point out that certain behaviours are more deadly, or at least hurtful to them as individuals, than they are to those around them. So the younger ones were not allowed to lift the heavy covers of oaken desks. The older ones had more responsibility to clean up and make sure that like objects went with like objects.

Most importantly, they were made accountable for the well-being of their classmates. A sad child was paired with one or two classmates of the same gender, who were encouraged to say kind things and lift the aggrieved one’s spirits. No one was coddled, but no one was left out-or shut out. Everyone’s work was praised, because that is how people advance-one skill set at a time.

I gave the note to Daniela’s teacher, who had a fair idea as to who wrote it. There will be a healthy discourse on the subject of judging people by perceived appearance.

I see no ugly faces.

Correcting Missteps and Dodging Darkness

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Posted by on in Assistance, children, Education, impediments, Inner Struggles, Personal Values, Social, Spiritual, Striving

November 8, 2023- I was told, flat-out, a few times yesterday, that if I knew what was good for me, I would follow the instructions about my own life that the stern-faced woman was randomly tossing out. Hmmmm- Where have I heard this before? What happened when I stuck to my own path? What further transpired, when I cut off contact with the previous angry personage? In each case, there was suffering- a slight injury, a job loss and a car accident, all of which happened to take place in the presence of a short, stern-faced woman, similar to the one who was warning me to toe the line, this time.

There is much that we don’t know about energy fields, and while I hardly believe that shape-shifting is actually a thing, it does seem strange that misfortunes in my life always are witnessed by a short, stout, angry middle-aged woman of narcissistic temperament. Nothing awful happened to me on the way home, yesterday, and while I made a foolish decision to unnecessarily yield at the end of an off-ramp, this morning, there was no consequence, other than a blared horn. I had, though, written down the wrong school at which to report.

Twenty minutes later, I was at the correct school, with the assigned students-enjoying a Veterans Day tribute. We went on to make progress on the kids’ science projects and math assignment. There have been, so far, no “dire consequences” for my not following “instructions”.

What to get from yesterday’s exchange? As the days, months and years roll on, what I need for my own well-being is to take more time to do things even more carefully, write appointments down in more than one place and give myself more time to get places, and more time in between events and activities. The angry narcissist who wants to save me from God knows what, will just need to find a different focus for her energies.

The Sum of Ignorance

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Posted by on in Assistance, children, collaborating, Community, Education, impediments, Inspiration, Personal Values, Service Activities, Social, Spiritual, Striving

November 7, 2023- As the short video played out, some of those who may well find themselves in harm’s way, eight years from now, should the penchant for war as a solution to global ills continue, were busy in denial- choosing to play around and insult each other, rather than show respect for those who have served.

I know it is the fear of death that spurs adolescent boys to act out, when conflict and war are mentioned, however respectfully. Yet, I’ve seen too much and lost too many friends, men and women alike, to abide their antics without comment. Disinterest, or even the appearance of same, is what leads to the rise of tyranny. Autocrats can smell apathy, the way bears can smell food, clearly and from a distance. I left that particular coterie to answer to their regular teacher.

This evening, with only a few exceptions, people turned away from ignorance. The right to life is universal, and it also cannot be a pretext for eliminating the growth of conscience among one’s neighbours. The solution to feeling the need to end another’s life is not statute, but careful use of the sex drive- which, to me, lies within marital union, however two people see that union. As long as that concept seems antiquated or somehow patriarchal, there will remain “unwanted” pregnancies. (Parents should NOT be arranging marriages, in this day of spreading universal education; they should certainly approve or disapprove their child’s choice of mate, but not make the choice for the child.) There remains, as we are seeing, a rising reverence for a human being’s right and duty to choose mindfully, as to what happens with his/her own body.

People also turned away from ignorance, in general. They did not turn away from traditional values, but from the notion that only a small group of elders can decide what’s best for the people. In the run-up to today’s vote, ignorant and ill -advised statements, by those who claim to represent conservatism, even about intimate details of their personal lives, did not do the movement of preservation any favours.

” For the wages of sin is death…..”- St.Paul’s Letter to the Romans, 6:23. The sum of ignorance, whether on the Right or on the Left, is zero.

Expanding Home, Day 20: The World at Mall of Asia

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Posted by on in Assistance, children, collaborating, Community, Inspiration, Matters of Faith, Personal goals, Personal Values, Service Activities, Social, Spiritual, Striving, Travel

October 29, 2023, Manila- The crowds were terraced, the way northern Luzon’s rice fields are. Everyone was focused on the setting sun, and there was a fair quiet-no blaring cell phone music, with the implied message-“Everyone look at meeeeeeee!” Selfies, of course, abounded and I took one or two of my two remaining hosts.

We were at Mall of Asia (aka MOA) so that the ladies could check out business opportunities, at Franchise Asia’s 2023 International Expo-Manila. “Fun. Friendship. Franchising” was the theme, and the world of chain businesses was here in force. Everyone from Subway and Pizza Hut to Macao Imperial Tea and South Korea’s Kim Soon Rye’s Boneless Chicken were present, and swarmed by would-be entrepreneurs. My two friends took a few brochures and are leaning towards one of them. You will know which one, when they make their mark.

Mall of Asia’s Exposition Center

After the exposition walkabout, we headed towards the other main attraction, perched over Manila Bay.

Impending sunset (Above and below)

As the sun is slowly setting on my first solo visit to southeast Asia, I look forward to seeing both my friends’ success and visits with others in the provinces, en route from Europe to Korea and Japan, two years hence. We celebrated this visit with a dinner at Jolibee, the Philippines’ premier addition to the world of comfort food. An occasional chicken sandwich never hurt anyone.

How the day began: Our Sunday devotional

Expanding Home, Day 13: Two Family Circles

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Posted by on in Assistance, children, collaborating, Community, Family, Inner Struggles, Matters of Faith, Personal Values, Service Activities, Social, Spiritual, Striving, Travel

October 22, 2023, Paranaque- Traffic in Manila, on Sunday, is about what one would expect: Vehicles can actually move at more than 23 kmh. I got to the Baha’i National Center, in the Santa Ana section of Manila, in less than an hour. I was the first visitor to arrive, and was again warmly greeted by the residents. After a fashion, nearly fifteen other people showed for the devotional, we shared prayers, news from around the Philippines and refreshments. A feisty child alternated between boisterousness and reverence. Several of the Regional Council members were in and out of their own meeting, to dovetail with participating in the devotional.

Gathering at Baha’i National Center of the Philippines, Santa Ana, Manila

It all felt like a gathering at Home Base. It felt like home, and so it will be for the week ahead, especially once I transfer to University College Residences, the redundantly-named, but compact and ecologically-state of the art accommodations, a stone’s-throw from the Center. The ladies who live at the Center, serving as hosts and caretakers, are like younger sisters. The young man who is serving in the Philippine Navy is a mirror of my Navy-veteran son. The parents of the rambunctious little boy could be one of my nephews and nieces-in-law, whose son has gone from unruliness to morphing into a sensitive little man, compassionate about animal welfare and the well-being of his grandfather. The universality of the Baha’i Faith is always borne out by its members, as ordinary, and as flawed, as we sometimes are. It is borne out, as well, by our adherence to the principle: The Oneness of Mankind.

There is something of that, too, in how I have come to see the little community of Airplane Village, the collection of shops, restaurants, small hotels and a bar, that sit opposite the huge operation that is Terminal One, the primary International Terminal of Ninoy Aquino International Airport. The terminal itself has the feel of a family operation. In going back and forth between hotel and the terminal’s ATM (the Philippines is largely, mostly, a cash economy) I have come to be a familiar face to the gate guards and security people-in a good way. They have shown me the shortcuts to and from AV, and are not concerned about checking my passport each and every time I enter the facility.

Going back and forth between Airplane Village and Santa Ana’s Barangay 176, the past few days, is also a mirror of my larger life-somehow managing to fit in at Home Base, with my biological family and with people who make up extended family-across North America and now, in a real sense, across the ocean.

The Earth itself is becoming one big home.

Expanding Home, Day 11: Observations On A Tight Neighbourhood

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Posted by on in Assistance, children, collaborating, Community, Entertainment, Inspiration, Personal Values, Social, Striving, Travel

October 20, 2023, Paranaque- The lady busily puttered about the courtyard and small garden, seemingly unaware of anything other than what was in front of her. To me, watching from a third story window, with appreciation of her diligent work in the afternoon heat, it was reassuring. The people of this largely commercial neighbourhood still had residences scattered among the businesses, and they took care of these, with dignity and a goodly amount of pride. A humble, dignified, graceful woman was, at that point in time, the most beautiful person on Earth.

Four small boys scampered about, in and out of the parking lot, around the four restaurants, three car rental agencies, a bar and the hotel where I am staying. They split themselves up, each one stationed in front of a restaurant, steering clear of the hotel-and of the bar, where the bouncer would have gladly given them a forceful heave-ho. Some realities are understood, intuitively, even by the desperate- especially by the desperate. I sat in Pablo’s, enjoying the pipes of a group of four men who were engaged in karaoke. I was invited to join in, on the English-language songs, but spared them my croaking voice. Listening to their many tunes, in English and in Tagalog, was a splendid way to while away the evening-for me, and for the little one outside, whose nose was pressed to the window. The food was also good.

I do not give money to beggars, no matter how old or young. A few years ago, as you may recall, I tried supporting a man who I thought was an honest entrepreneur, only to have him rebuff my suggestions and up his monetary demands. Lesson learned, and cord cut. The kids are engaging, and appealing-but I know where the money ends up, and it’s not in their pockets. The minder, if he or she could even be called that, waits at a gathering point, collection bag in hand.

Here in the Manila Airport Hotel, there is a constant buzz of guests, hotel staff, cafe workers, travel agents, masseuses and car rental agents. Lines form at the hotel desk and at the cafe counter-and are diligently honoured. No one in the Philippines seems to vaunt self over those in front of the line. I have been in places where that is not the case, but in this country, there is a fair amount of decorum-even on the busy streets, few are they who throw their weight around in traffic-and they are put in their places very quickly, either by the police or by other drivers.

I like this tight little neighbourhood, and will miss it, at least a bit, when I transfer to Santa Ana, nearer to Manila Proper, next week.