Category Archives: Community

Flexible

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Posted by on in American Legion, Assistance, collaborating, Community, Entertainment, Inspiration, Personal goals, Personal Values, Service Activities, Social, Spiritual, Striving

January 28, 2024- The account that a fellow Legionnaire gave, of his ailing wife’s situation, was achingly familiar. He has arrived at the conclusion that he needs to cultivate a hobby. I heartily concurred with him on that. When one has lived and loved one person, for so many years, it is hard to prepare to change course. It took me three long years to get myself together. Even afterward, there were times when brief relapses happened-but when an ill-wisher challenged my judgement, I knew I was over the hump. Blocking and deleting people who attacked me, after 2014, came a lot easier, as did bringing myself to serious account. A far more peaceful environment has been the result.

I am on the cusp of a life change, still in the realm of possibility, that would rest on flexibility. That, in turn, depends upon inner tranquility. The centered soul can be flexible, prioritizing the needs of the one(s) that are loved the most. That’s all I will say, for the time being. Great changes, like Penny’s illness and death (2003-11), the sale of our house (2011), and the sale of a second home, due to the vagaries of double taxation (2014) have come and gone. I have survived, because there are other things that I have had to do, and have yet to accomplish.

One thing that I have re-started is to walk to places that are within two miles of Home Base, unless time is tight, or the weather is just plain awful. Today, I walked to a friend’s restaurant, connected with a neighbour the next street over from me and watched a bit of a football playoff game, and walked back to HB 1, about an hour later. Exercise at Planet Fitness followed. It’s time to continue my fitness pattern. I can’t be a support to another human being, if I slack off in my own space. So, onward and upward, it is.

Centenary, and Remembrance

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Posted by on in Assistance, collaborating, Community, Education, Family, Historical, Inspiration, Personal Values, Service Activities, Social, Spiritual, Striving

January 27,2024- The grief-stricken woman told me, and bar staff, what had happened to a beloved family member, and relayed the seemingly nonchalant reaction of someone who had once told her that he was dependable. I shared with her about my own experiences, and the current state of my life. She was heartened by both what I had experienced taking care of my late wife, Penny, and by the present state of a new love in my life. As she broke down, and needed reassurance, I hugged her, and she wished me well with the rest of my life. When she left, we briefly discussed our own reactions to her story; D’s daughter agreeing with me that an undependable friend is no friend at all. I paid for my meal, and coffee, then headed back to Home Base 1.

I thought of Penny, and how no matter the level of difficulty with her condition, I would never have left her alone, or dismissed her pain. I stayed with her, until the end of her life, and would do so again and again. I think of the new love that has appeared in my life, and know that if she needed me to be by her side, post haste, I would be there, across the ocean, as quickly as humanly possible-and stay with her, for the duration.

Today, one of the most influential men I’ve ever had the honour of knowing would have turned 100 years of age. That he was the father of my first true love as an adult, and the treasured grandfather of our son was a bonus. Norman David Fellman was, more than these, much more. He was the living symbol of the Holocaust survivors-a Jewish soldier in the U.S. Army, in the final year of World War II. He was captured by the German Army, in the southern flank of the Battle of the Bulge, kept prisoner in Berga, in a special POW unit of Jewish-, Mexican- and Romani-Americans. He survived, and when found by the U.S. Army, 97 pounds clung to his 6’1″ frame. He thrived, attended college, decided to open his own shoe business, married his life-long sweetheart, sired Penny and adopted twin girls-raising all three to be strong women. He and my mother-in-law, Ruth, were married for 65 years, until his death in 2014. (Ruth survived him by four years.) They owned and ran a farm, which tided them over, when he sold his shoe business. They raised and rode Arabian horses, teaching all three girls-and me, how to ride, and care for, those wondrous beasts. Norm was a fixture in Veterans organizations, and even made a video of his experiences, which at one point aired on national television. It must have come very hard, but he made it his mission, to ensure that the experiences of those who kept freedom alive were not forgotten.

Likewise, International Holocaust Remembrance Day was established, in 1996, on this, the day of Norm’s birth. It was a fact that gave him great satisfaction, though like the gentleman he was, IHRD became more important to the day, than his own birthday. That this remembrance has continued, despite the noise and hasty judgement heaped upon all Jews, for the actions of a relative few among them, would be a point of pride, for Norm, Ruth and Penny, were they here among us still. He would fulminate, as only he could, against all those he saw as perpetrators of injustice.

I was all too glad to have been able to help a stranger in distress, to help finish a good friend’s move, earlier in the day and to give due homage to a great man. Let us never forget the Shoah!

Taking Ownership

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Posted by on in Assistance, collaborating, Community, distraction issues, impediments, Inner Struggles, Personal Values, Service Activities, Social, Spiritual, Striving

January 25, 2024- Child # 1 kept denying having broken a health-related rule, even though ten of his classmates testified that he had done so, and the evidence was there, on his desk. He was held to account for the violation. Had he not been, who knows how many copy cats would have followed suit?

I have said it before: I was the world’s worst miscreant, when it came to covering up misdeeds, from childhood to the end of my erring days. I was actually relieved, in later years, when called to account for bad choices. It meant, usually, a chance to start afresh and act more in tune with Divine teachings.

We’ve discussed owning one’s bad choices before, on this site. Families, communities and countries have never been known to thrive, when a key member of the grouping goes from one denial to another. Yet, some believe the denier, largely because they see so many dodging responsibility for their actions. So, “why not give ________the benefit of the doubt?” Well, there is “Two wrongs don’t make a right.” There is also the fact that the individual’s spiritual state does not improve, over time, with the accumulation of “duck, dodge and hide”.

What I’ve found is that I have gotten umpteen chances to overcome a character defect-until the time comes that the baggage is actually cast overboard.

Other Places, Other Uses

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Posted by on in Assistance, collaborating, Community, impediments, Personal Values, Service Activities, Social, Spiritual, Striving

January 24, 2024- Two bags worth of bath towels, bed sheets and pillow slips went to the Thrift Store, this afternoon, along with a piece of art that I collected a while back, and my two boxed sets of the last two seasons of “Game of Thrones” . In each case, the materials were either far more than I need, or no longer reflect the person into whom I’ve evolved-especially in the past three months. Others who need or can use these items are more than welcome to them. There will be further downsizing, next week, when I have more free time to go through the closets and cabinets.

This year of action, as it has been described, finds me getting up with new energy-and I attribute that, partially, to the fact that I feel the supportive energy of someone whose days and nights are opposite ours here in Prescott. I send loving energy back to her, as well. On top of an already strong network of support, here at Home Base, and across the continent, this energy is a much-treasured bonus. The other element is that I sense increased support from those who have gone on before me-from Penny and from my ancestors who, as I saw yesterday, are making themselves known to my extended family, in ways we have not seen in a while. In any case, I feel so much calmer, more self-assured, and more automatically directed to simplifying my life, since my visit to the Philippines.

Much of what happens this year, especially in the wider world, will seem, at first blush, as having no rhyme or reason. A calm and confident approach to our surroundings, and to things outside our comfort zone, will be necessary to survival-and to the thriving that will follow. There will be a fair amount of yelling-always happens in Election Season, or whenever people feel threatened by even the most innocuous of remarks. There will be weather-related challenges and disasters. We will each lose people we love dearly-some very unexpectedly. In the end, around Christmas and New Year’s, it’ll be obvious to those who have kept a clear head that all of this is part of a larger evolution-and that the skies will clear, the ground settle and the guns will, in fair order, fall silent.

These thoughts are with me, settling in for the night, before two days of work bring a brisk week to its end.

The Spirit Moves

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Posted by on in Assistance, collaborating, Community, impediments, Inner Struggles, Inspiration, Personal Values, Service Activities, Social, Spiritual, Striving

January 22, 2024- A friend at the coffee klatsch, this morning, casually mentioned that she was moving from one building to another, within the Senior apartment complex. This was two days after I had helped another woman, also like a sister to me, move some of her belongings to a larger house. 

January is a month of new beginnings, yet it is not, customarily, a time for moving, given that cold weather and precipitation abound-across most of the North American continent. This year, however, is one of actionable change, and moving is often part of that process. 

I received a “wink, wink, nudge, nudge” post on social media, last night, showing a set of attractive and affordable apartments, in another location. While someone, about whom I care deeply, lives in that place, I have no plans to relocate, this year. Also, it is a matter that this person and I would need to discuss, fully and calmly, before deciding whether one of us, or both of us, would pack up and go elsewhere. That will likely occupy the rest of this year-but who knows?

Another person for whom I care deeply is making initial, and solid, progress in dealing with a health concern. I was very glad to hear specifics on that matter, earlier today. This, and the above-mentioned, are as much spiritual journeys as physical and pecuniary ones. We are each stepping into the unknown, and following our hearts as well as our minds-trusting in a Higher Power.

I am, while anchored at Home Base 1, resuming my taking stock of household inventory. Checking the cabinet that held sheets and towels, I found that 90 % of what was in that container was excessive. It was one of the last parts of my household that was mostly left over from when Penny was alive. So, a fair amount went to a woman with a large extended family, this evening, and the rest will go to a shelter collection drive, tomorrow morning. Other items that have outlived their usefulness, or that no longer reflect the person I have become, will also go to Thrift Store shelves, tomorrow.

I have no way of predicting how my life, or anyone else’s, will look, in December of this year, but the Spirit is moving mountains-and hearts.

Cold Mist

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Posted by on in Assistance, collaborating, Community, impediments, Inner Struggles, Inspiration, Personal Values, Service Activities, Social, Spiritual, Striving

January 21, 2024- It is dangerous, to put on airs, in a cold mist               To go outside, shirtless, and mug for the camera,                      in any air that is less than 32 F(0 C).                          Water freezes at that temperature, and we are 55-60 % water.              Imagine, being a block of ice, with a pleasant countenance                 that is now marked in a grimace.                            You, too, could be portrayed by Joaquin Phoenix, or Jack Nicholson-drawn out of retirement, and away from Lakers games.                             In all seriousness, though, pneumonia is never a trifle, and its little sibling, bronchitis, is a pain in the neck. Corona viruses are always waiting in the wings, also. People here are still finding themselves with COVID19-or 24, or the flu of the year.                  This PSA is not meant to be a nuisance, in and of itself. I just like seeing my friends, either in person, or online- looking happy and productive, not aching and sad in a corner.      Safety first-from Utgiagvik to Tampa, from Portland, OR to St. Anthony, NL. Stay warm and dry.

Revitalized

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Posted by on in Assistance, collaborating, Community, distraction issues, impediments, Inner Struggles, Inspiration, Personal goals, Personal Values, Service Activities, Social, Spiritual, Striving

January 20, 2024- The watchful Apache man saw that all the modern conveniences that had been installed in his new restaurant kitchen were still missing a key component: A means of heat. He had a stack of firewood on hand, and was able to get a fire going, safely, in his fireplace. The cook stove, of course, was a secondary means of heat. In time, the solar heater would be on track, but for the time being, the fireplace saved the day.

This was one of the vignettes that flowed through “Gather: The Fight to Revitalize Our Native Foodways”, a film that was shown this evening, at our Elks Performing Arts Center. The film illustrated First Nations people working to re-establish viable food systems, in areas across North America. A Dineh farmer is working to increase use of the Little Colorado River, in its traditional role as a water source. A young Lakota Sioux woman is spreading understanding of the nutritional value of the meat of grass-fed bison, such as her father raises. A Yurok man is teaching young men in his northern California community about traditional spear fishing, and keeping salmon populations sustainable. A San Carlos Apache grandmother is teaching a young girl about catching kangaroo rats, and respecting the home of a rattlesnake-not just because it is venomous, but because it, too, is a living being and helps keep the rodent population in balance. She is also teaching the child about harvesting edible desert plants. The White Mountain Apache chef is likewise using local products, in his preparation of dishes at Cafe Gozho’o’ (the second o is silent). Gozho’o’ means happiness, harmony or balance, in the Nde’e’ language of the Apache people.

The key to all this is revitalization, for which this is a year. A friend here in town received final clearance to move her possessions to a house which she had inherited, over a year ago. There had been delays in the move, for various reasons, which have now been resolved. I helped with moving some of the items, this afternoon. Her life, and livelihood, are being regenerated.

My own life has not been stagnant, yet its pace, too, is picking up, in terms of financial, interpersonal and goal-setting elements. This will be a truly interesting year, one in which decisive action becomes the norm.

“Just Tryin’ To Get Home”*

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Posted by on in Assistance, collaborating, Community, Entertainment, impediments, Inner Struggles, Inspiration, Personal Values, Social, Spiritual, Striving

January 19, 2024- One sang a prayer to the angels. Another mused about her Love of thirty years. The third one sang to a dead friend. The fourth sang to his daughter, who was some distance away. Four musicians, offered the stuff of their hearts, in a round table of harmony.

We are all trying to get home-as *the song by Meg Bohrman so poignantly states. Those of us with home bases are ever looking to be ready for our spiritual Home, when the time comes. Others, whose time here figures to be a lot longer than mine, are also looking for a “forever home”, in which they can raise a family. Still others would just like a home that is not a tent in the woods, or a lean-to, or a cardboard box.

My home is in my heart. So, it feels like home, when I have served well, on a given day. It feels like home, when I have made someone smile. It feels like home, when I have been present for my new Love, and been strong for her, when we connect electronically, even though the physical distance between us is, for now, all too wide. It feels like home, when I reflect that my demons, known only to God, to my departed Angel and to me, have long been cast out. It feels like home, when I know that my little family, extended family and wide circle of friends are safe and well.

Home is in the heart.

Just Being

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Posted by on in Assistance, collaborating, Community, impediments, Inner Struggles, Inspiration, Personal goals, Personal Values, Social, Spiritual, Striving

January 17, 2024- Someone I love dearly sent me a message, this morning. It was a description of her quotidian life and of the joy that some friends had brought to her world, these past few days. I responded with my normal comings and goings, including some photos of the past few days.

There are no expectations, per se, in our friendship. It is a matter of just being, just sharing what goes on and what we think, feel and experience, because we care enough about one another to make this a regular part of our existence, once or twice a week, until we see each other again.

Once upon a time, this was the province of the telephone call. Mothers and daughters, in particular, talked several days a week, but occasionally men and boys got involved. Social media, at its finest, lets us acknowledge birthdays, anniversaries and achievements. These are all fine things-as long as people are allowed to just be.

Earlier still, communication was face to face. The old-fashioned home visit, sometimes lasting for hours, or for days (before the snarky business about fish and old clothes became the standard), was not an unusual event. In some cultures, not staying overnight is deemed an insult. In others, prior invitation is expected, even for a one-hour house call. Yet, the main thing is that each allows the other to just be.

Another friend wrote to several of us, about having written a book, that is intended to be published. She told of all the trepidation that came, prior to the actual preparation of the book. Once she let herself relax, and accept the achievement, the book became her friend, and her being was enough.

You know, it took me a very long time to get to this point, but now, just being-walking alongside so many good people, and feeling, knowing, that I belong, is a springboard to all that I know I can achieve.

Thoughts On Fixing What’s Not Broken

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Posted by on in Assistance, collaborating, Community, distraction issues, impediments, Inner Struggles, Inspiration, Personal Values, Service Activities, Social, Spiritual, Striving

January 16, 2024- My day was centered on helping a Baha’i friend get to a medical appointment. As Dad taught us to focus on one thing at a time, and doing it right, any other considerations for the afternoon were moot. I got Sportage washed, and opened my collected mail, from last week, but that was all done by mission time.

After the appointment was over, friend recapped the conversation with doctor and physician’s assistant. It seems, as is so often the case, that there is no provision by the practitioners for naturopathic or herbal remedies to the diagnosed malady. Indeed, the implication is that patient (Baha’i friend) ought to accept a treatment plan, “so as to stay ahead of any problems down the road.” Friend did not take the bait, sticking to own regimen for maintaining personal health. In the end, doctor’s advice was: ”Keep doing what you’re doing.”

The goal of any primarily monetized enterprise is to keep the cash flowing. As a snark once told me, “Hey, money pays the bills”, as if that excused the whole nine yards. In so doing, there is a sense that creating a problem, then devising and advancing a solution, is a solid business model. This, when recognized for what it is, gives rise to conspiracy theories-and I have to say, the “kooks” have something there, even if their valid point ends up twisted off into various tangents.

Truth be told, there are enough problems that are extant in this physical world, at any given time, that inventing more issues and devising solutions to them, is little more than a perverse Socratic seminar. Each end of the dominant culture’s spectrum accuses the other of faux saviourhood. Yet, both practice the ruse: The Far Left, by announcing a ban on vehicles with internal combustion engines, by a certain year, without securing the commitment from industry to produce enough Electric Vehicles to meet the resulting demand; the Far Right, by excoriating present immigration policy, then refusing to work with their counterparts in Congress, to resolve the issue. The solutions that each offers are non-starters, that are essentially designed to simply “make the other guy look bad”, and solving nothing.

There are others, coming from both sides, but I shift the focus to my own situation. Things happened, or didn’t happen, this morning, which could have provoked me into attempting to “resolve issues”. Instead, I chose to do nothing. These are matters which it is best to let play out, and resolve themselves. That may not be possible in the larger social issues-but one thing is clear: No problems can truly be solved, by coming up with solutions when no issue exists.