Category Archives: distraction issues

Up, Down and All-around

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Posted by on in Assistance, collaborating, Community, distraction issues, impediments, Personal Values, Service Activities, Social, Spiritual, Striving, Travel

January 14, 2024, Winslow- I went into the Welcome Center, to set up for an online meeting, and found that my favoured spot was occupied-first come, first served. It would have been awkward, anyway, as the table is in the area of a looping introductory video-and many new guests were set to arrive today. So, the Acting Director of Ghost Ranch gratuitously let me use a section of her office, for the meeting, which, since it drew only one other person, was a brief one.

I next went to the gift shop (“Trading Post”) and purchased note cards, on which I may write my mother. Then, I packed up and loaded the car. In that process, I saw that I was missing a certain item, looking high and low for it-to no avail. The Aha! moment told me to go back towards Gallup, the way I came. 

Before that, though, I called someone who had asked for a ride to AZ, to check on the status of the roads in that area. When it was stated that the road required four-wheel drive, and that, on balance, the person was uncertain about making the trip, I bid farewell, which wasn’t entirely the response that was desired. Oh, well. I promised my loved ones to practice safety first.

I said goodbye to the Ghost Ranch staff, thanking them for all that they gave us this week. It’s truly been both a wake-up call, for what I still need to do, spiritually and socially AND a reward for having made a continuous effort at self-improvement. 

The drive back towards Cuba, NM was much more delightful than last Sunday’s drive to GR, as the roads were bare today. When I got to Cuba, I stopped for lunch at Chaco Grill. The owner, who is a friend, had found the item I was missing, and had secured it, intuiting that I would be by to check. So, all was well again!

Getting to Gallup, before sunset, I decided to continue on to Holbrook, then to Winslow. So now I am at some other friends’ establishment-Delta Motel. Tonight, I was given the Veterans’ Room , themed in honour of one of the family’s members who had served in the Army. His uniform and other equipment are here in the room. 

Winslow is a fun town, and also good for at least a night’s rest.

Refinement

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Posted by on in Assistance, collaborating, Community, distraction issues, Inspiration, Matters of Faith, Personal Values, Service Activities, Social, Spiritual, Striving, Travel

December 28, 2023, Moriarty, NM- I made a short visit to the Basilica of St. Francis of Assisi, at the south end of Santa Fe Plaza, before leaving town after a lunch at Creperie, in La Fonda Hotel. My visit focused on the Meditation Garden, sitting silently before the statue of the teenaged Mother Mary, and pondering how to properly go forth, in a refined state, on a certain matter. Statues are not spirits, of course, and an icon cannot proffer wisdom. There is, however, energy about-both that which was put into the casting or sculpting of the figure and that which emanates from the person or being who inspired the statue.

These last few days of 2023, and the first four months of the coming year, are largely about refinement- of my present friendships, of my household and of my activities in the community. Friends from whom I had felt estranged, over the past year or so, have reached out and asked me to visit them again. I have no reason to not do so. Another, far away physically, but ever on my mind, will be more the focus of a long game-with patience, thoughtful communication and, above all, unflagging respect for what she might be facing, day to day. 

The main focus of the day was a visit with a friend who is recovering from injury. I found her house fairly easily, and although it is in a rural area, off a dirt road-the road was graded and the dirt driveway represented no problem for Sportage, as the mud was frozen. My visit, to ascertain when I could best transport her to her winter home, led to two hours of conversation about affairs of our Faith. I will return, in mid-January, after a week-long work project, at Ghost Ranch, about an hour away form her home-and spend the latter part of the MLK Day weekend, with said transport.

I was able to drive here, to some friends’ establishment, and a large, comfortable room-as is usual at Lariat Motel. Tomorrow, after checking in on another of the young women I regard as daughters, I will head back to Home Base 1.

2024, in my view, will certainly be a year of action, following this past year of reflection. In my case, a lot of that reflection occurred while I was on my feet-so upcoming activities deserve to be done in a state of refinement. No bulls in this china shop!

Responsibility Takes No Breaks

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Posted by on in Assistance, collaborating, Community, distraction issues, impediments, Personal Values, Social, Striving

December 24, 2023- The harried man looked at his watch and led his lady friend, into the street, at a corner with an unmarked crosswalk. I was in the process of turning left, onto said street, and was fortunately able to stop-though his hunched shoulders and angry glare suggested he felt his rights had been violated. They did keep on walking across, and fortunately, the cars which were speeding along did not come close to hitting them.

I thought of two things: A pedestrian who is in the road can make any vehicle stop, even if he/she happens to be dancing around or standing still, muttering to self. I was told this, back in 1967, when I first learned to drive. Secondly, it was a reminder that people, this time of year, are not necessarily all that keen on following protocol. Holiday season is seen by many as “non-work”, and therefore not a time to dwell on responsibility. 

The buzzer in my head goes off- EENH! Wrong-o! Suppose the passengers on holiday, in Belgium, about five years ago, had ignored the terrorists who were trying to hijack a passenger train, in Belgium. Suppose that those on Flight 93 had stayed in their seats, as the west bound plane turned around and slammed into the U.S. Capitol, or the White House. In large events and small, those around need to be on game, even if they are coming off a five-month long stint of 18-hour days.

Any parent with small children knows this. Any leader of a community, state/province, or nation knows this. I know this, and so do you. May your Christmas and/or Kwanzaa be peaceful, and hopefully not wrapped up in drama or emergency response.

Rain and Heartshine

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Posted by on in Assistance, collaborating, Community, distraction issues, impediments, Inner Struggles, Inspiration, Personal Values, Service Activities, Social, Spiritual, Striving

December 23, 2023- Whilst drumming under a canopy, last night, our little circle felt drips, then trickles and after a bit, the maintenance volunteer announced that water was pooling on the canopy. Mindful of the safety hazard, as well as the discomfort of being showered, we moved under the wooden-roofed porch of the small ”omnivore’s” restaurant, at Kelly’s Cottage Ranch. (The other eatery here is a vegan establishment.) I thought of the old Three Dog Night song, “Never Been to Spain”, written by Hoyt Axton,and added my own lyric to its musing: ”Well, I’ve never been to Woodstock, but I’m here at Kelly’s Cottage…”

Drum and Didge circle, “Reconnecting the Soul”, at Kelly’s Cottage Ranch, Tolleson

Some of us then adjourned to the basement of the Main House, for a Cacao Ceremony, which I described in the last post. Here is a photo of that scene.

“(Hu)Man Cave”, Main House at Kelly’s Cottage Ranch, Tolleson

I turned in, upstairs in Main House, making a little sleeping space for myself, behind a couch in the living room. The lights stayed on, as a gamer was in his element, on the couch, and the vegan chef was prepping his breakfast fare. Being me means going with the flow, so with a blanket covering head to toe, I drifted off.

This morning came, quietly, as non-work mornings do. I found that the ranch is close to the foot of South Mountain, Phoenix’s great southern boundary of old. (It’s been circumvented, and surrounded, by the spreading community), still retaining its majesty.

South Mountain, from Kelly’s Cottage Ranch, Tolleson
South Mountain, from Kelly’s Cottage Ranch, Tolleson
Kelly’s Cottage Ranch, in daylight.

After helping the “Man Cave” ( I call it Human Cave.) crew move some furniture around, I headed back up to Prescott, so as to stop in at Zeke’s, for an early lunch and to wish the ladies a Merry Christmas. Then, it was over to Farmers Market, for quick grocery shopping and helping to put the tents, weights and furniture away. Lots of hugs came today, including from a couple I hadn’t seen in over a year. I found out why they had been distant: Child # 6 was in Mama’s arms, serene and already cautious about strangers-at four months. Wishing one and all a Merry Christmas, we finished breakdown at 2:10, and I promised to be back for the New Year’s Eve day market.

This evening was spent at Rafter Eleven, listening to renditions of several meaningful tunes, including back-to-back love songs- Lonestar’s “Baby, I’m Amazed by You” and Garth Brooks’ “The Dance”. The first reflects how I feel towards someone now and the second, always evocative of Penny and our time together. Of course, back when the first song was released, I was definitely amazed by her. It was 1999, and we had every reason to think our time together had years to go. Once the music was done, I wished Dawn, her daughters and the baristas Merry Christmas, and a safe holiday week and back to Home Base it was.

It’s foggy tonight, and very dark. Coming out of a store, after picking up my last holiday gift, it took a while to find my car, in the fog and darkness. The Google Maps application was no help, just going around in a circle-upon which the spirits took over , and guided me to Sportage, in seconds flat. All ends well with their assistance.

On Boundaries

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Posted by on in Assistance, collaborating, Community, distraction issues, impediments, Inner Struggles, Inspiration, Personal goals, Personal Values, Service Activities, Social, Spiritual, Striving

December 20, 2023- One of my online writer friends posted, this morning, on the subject of boundaries. Going over both the setting of one’s own boundaries, respecting the boundaries of others and handling those who invade one’s safe spaces, she sparked my own review of past and present behaviours in this area.

When rebounding from Penny’s passing, I gave vent to delusions of having feelings for a couple of women. The first, gently and firmly set me straight on the matter, we parted on civil terms. She is still a friend- and thankfully, is happily married to a fine man. The second is also still one of my best friends, here in Prescott, having set her boundaries early on.

Then, there were those who invaded my space: A homeless man, who did not ask for much more than rides here and there, and assistance with getting established in another town. I was able to help him, and after a year or so, he dropped off the radar screen. A few years later, a well-meaning friend tried to “fix me up” with a woman, who had serious emotional issues and who quickly turned out menacing, even using her thoughts to try and wreck my life-health-wise and in terms of employment. I lost my job, while she had parked her RV in a public area, a block from my apartment. Curiously, on the day that I was fired, she got in the rig and drove away. I cut off all contact with her, have recovered and am living nicely. There was a disturbed young man, who messaged me, continuously, for six months, often sending up to 50 voice messages a day, most of which I deleted, though I listened and tried to understand his issues. I cut off contact with him, after he sent a message attacking the memory of my late wife. Finally, there was the African entrepreneur, who initially appeared to be making a good faith effort to build a life for himself and his family. I connected him with agencies and organizations that could offer real, constant assistance-but he became attached to asking for more money from me-for matters that were not directly connected to the initial investment. I cut him off completely, after about four months of begging on his part.

Now, I have strong, enduring friendships, in a good many states and Canadian provinces, and in three other countries. There will be, I’m sure, more to follow. I have strong feelings for a good woman, who I met two months ago, and am taking care to honour her boundaries and not coming across like a bull in a china shop. The fact that we are an ocean apart makes this a bit easier, but when I see her again, the same respect will continue.

Boundaries, like other aspects of a disciplined, organized and centered life, ensure that one may live in happiness and success.

Perspectives

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Posted by on in distraction issues, impediments, Inner Struggles, Inspiration, Personal Values, Social, Spiritual, Striving

December 16, 2023- From where I was sitting, the painted scene could have been either looking downwards, towards the ocean, with a maelstrom in the middle or looking upwards, towards the cloudy sky, with a swirling snow cloud in its midst. When I got closer, it was the latter that was being portrayed. 

This was my first visit back to Raven Cafe at night, since the kerfuffle with a pair of disquiet people, in mid-November. Tonight, there was a sparse crowd, though Jillian Bessett and Chris Callahan, from Tucson, gave spirited and engaging renditions of both their original songs and covers of tunes by Johnny Cash, Kris Kristofferson and Big Joe Williams. It was peaceful. Before that, I had been in Rafter Eleven, enjoying Mike Lopez, of local favourites The Bourbon Knights, doing a solo set of covers. This was also delivered to a small audience. It’s always peaceful at Rafter.

I pondered, in the relative calm, how my own perspectives on life have changed, in the past decade. The clouds in the painting brought to mind how I was in fog, ten years ago-especially in the summer. A pair of voices of reason brought me gently down to terra firma. One of those voices was that of my spirit guide, who had departed this life two years prior. The other was that of the object of my misguided attention. After bouncing around a few more times, over the ensuing twelve months, I came back to Earth, by way of western Europe and Hawai’i, then strode a path alone-but with dozens, nay hundreds, of new friends.

My view has changed again, and with the encouragement of both human and spirit friends, the path to connecting with a precious and beautiful soul has begun. This time, there is no fog and my perspective is clear. This time, I go one step at a time.

Messages at Graveside

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Posted by on in Assistance, collaborating, Community, distraction issues, Family, Inspiration, Matters of Faith, Personal goals, Personal Values, Social, Spiritual, Striving

December 6, 2023- I sat by her grave, on this forty-third anniversary of our meeting for the first time, and asked Penny what she thought of my recent trip to the Philippines, and of friends I made there, one in particular. The messages that came back to me were a surprise, of sorts, and a comfort.

After getting a clean bill of dental health, I made my way to the cemetery, and having taken along the chair I am sitting in now, I sat and said a few prayers, then began my silent conversation.

“We sent you there and brought her to you;”, the message came, “there is no reason for your aloneness to go on and on.” I asked about my friends here and elsewhere. “Each of you have a role to play in one another’s lives, but you are not responsible for everyone’s happiness. If they are upset with you for growing your friendship with someone else, that’s on them. Just treat them with grace and patience, as you always did me.”

The spirit encouraged me to keep on with the path that she and others have helped me set for myself, since 2011. Indeed, she has said, more than once, that our life together on this physical plane was not meant to continue any longer than it did. I had growth to do, which required my being alone for a while. That growth, through the love of friends and family, and through the pain of physical and emotional attacks of others, has largely been achieved.

So on I go, and take each day as a blessing, just as I ever have.

Quiet Advent

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Posted by on in Assistance, collaborating, Community, distraction issues, impediments, Inspiration, Personal Values, Social, Spiritual, Striving

December 3, 2023- This day sees the tumult of the Christmas season, and all the interplay between materialism and spirituality come to the fore. The plethora of appeals to share one’s real and imagined wealth has come and gone-or at least run out of dedicated days for one aspect of materialism or another. The liturgical aspect of the season, though, has begun for Catholics and other Christians, with this first Sunday of Advent. So, we may expect more caroling-hopeful voices adding to calls for peaceful resolution of the Israel-Hamas conflict, a move towards rebuilding Gaza and an end to displacement of people-anywhere, for the benefit of a chosen few. We may also expect resistance. What privileged class has ever gone quietly into that good night?

By the above, I note the Iranian clerics and their Revolutionary Guards, as well as the West Bank settlers. I note the raiders who attack the people of Darfur, the “monks” who still harass the Rohingya people of Myanmar and all those who amass fortunes, at the expense of the working people. Where is the evidence that any of you have been wronged by those you assail? Savaging the weak and helpless is no guarantee that you will achieve your goals in perpetuity. There is a place for you in the world, but only if you cease and desist your greed-based, power-hungry depredations.

It is a quiet Advent, as the survivors of the MIndanao earthquake and the Wrangell landslide assess their losses and mourn those who didn’t make it out of the wreckage. It is a cheery day for some elsewhere, including three friends who went to a Baha’i wedding in Manila. It is a calm day for me, with a nice breakfast at Post 6, a devotional online and three sets of leg lifts at Planet Fitness. The most important part, though, was reading nineteen pages of an interesting and hopeful letter from our Universal House of Justice. Upshot: We will make it through whatever is headed our way, provided we stick together and don’t let ego delude us.

Actual Vacation, Day 8

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Posted by on in Assistance, children, collaborating, Community, distraction issues, Education, Family, Historical, impediments, Matters of Faith, Personal Values, Service Activities, Social, Spiritual, Striving, Travel

November 27. 2023, Grapevine- The dream was all too vivid, and all-too ridiculous: I was at a seminar for teachers, wearing white chinos, of all things, and spilled salsa from the provided breakfast burrito. I went to clean my pants, and for some reason, grabbed a push broom to carry with me (never did figure that part out). Walking to find a restroom, I happened by an African English-language academy, and an old-style trattoria, where there were many people gathered, and as I wandered aimlessly back and forth, looking for a restroom, a teenaged girl told me my meandering was getting tiresome. A staffer came out of a back room and started randomly filling recessed open concrete hollows, with rose petals. I began to think the girl was right and I was being a tiresome distraction. Then, I woke up and realized that none of this was happening, nor did it have to.

My reality was that of a slightly chilly, but sun-filled day. I spent the day on a small service project, to be continued on free moments Wednesday, to hopefully generate a just conclusion to a long-standing matter, for a Filipino family. Otherwise, it was a quiet day of relaxation, with Aram focusing on his remaining school projects and Yunhee back at work.

The final three months of my being 72 were no less fulfilling than the other nine. I began September with a drive across southern Colorado, then three days at Eastern Colorado Baha’i Summer School,which as last year was largely a family affair-and I was a bit more included this time. Once the school had adjourned, I made my way east, as detailed in earlier posts. Mom’s 95th birthday, and the arrival of grandniece Adeline Bryan, were the milestone events. Paying respects to a fallen police officer, in Minnesota, and a beloved cousin, in Pennsylvania, were also high points.

October saw my first visit to the Philippines, via San Diego, San Francisco and T’aipei. Getting to meet a sponsored teen, and helping him get a wardrobe item he very much needed, was a wondrous start to this visit. Being guided and watched over by three fellow Baha’is, whilst in Manila, was a magnificent follow-up. Respects were paid to two of the great figures of Filipino history: Dr. Jose Rizal, regarded as the country’s national hero, and Lapulapu- who ranks similar to Cochise or Black Elk, in terms of standing up for the rights of First Nations people. I made more friends for the rest of my life, which is the main purpose of going anywhere.

November has seen a productive month at Home Base, and a salubrious week at HB2. Red Cross work was intense, but compressed into one 12-hour day. School assignments were uniformly pleasant. The flu came and went-courtesy of a crowded reception area at LAX. I had one of the finest meals of my life, at 1845 Taste of Texas.

Adi’s birth was a happy milestone. Transitions in the other direction saw the departures of an old high school friend and a cousin-in-law. Steve Finnegan and Caleb Jayne were both humble tradesmen, but neither man was anybody’s fool. Both will be long-missed. Jimmy Buffett, Terry Kirkman, David McCallum and Suzanne Somers all entertained us and engaged our social awareness, as the best of their caliber do. Rosalynn Carter and Ady Barkan raised the bar for true public service.

Now comes another early morning commemoration of the Ascension of ‘Abdu’l-Baha, and with it my re-set, to the age of 73-as of 1:30 p.m. EST, officially. It has been lovely, being 72.

Actual Vacation, Day Two

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Posted by on in Assistance, collaborating, Community, distraction issues, Family, impediments, Inner Struggles, Personal goals, Personal Values, Service Activities, Social, Spiritual, Striving, Travel

November 21, 2023, Grapevine- There is a small gym here, at Terrawood. It has about half of the Full Body exercise machines that we have at Planet Fitness, back at Home Base 1. So, I got in some elliptical work, leg stretches and curls, chest presses and shoulder presses-as well as getting the steps in, right after a hearty meal of bulgogi with gochu-jong (hot pepper paste), over rice. Snacks and meals are faithfully followed by exercise here. There is even a nieghbour who works her treadmill on the front porch.

I am definitely happy that there is more emphasis on both eating healthily and exercising regularly, in this suburban Dallas community. Even shopping does not have to be a sedentary affair: Grapevine Mills is right across the street from four of the apartment complexes that line the boulevard.

There is no set agenda this week, so naturally, I used some time to reserve rooms and ferry space, for next May’s Atlantic Canada visit. This is more because the spaces fill up fast, for places like St. Pierre & Miquelon and Twillingate. At any rate, those ships will sail, with me on board. (The main event, a milestone for the Baha’i community of Eskisoni, on Unamaki/Cape Breton, is the post around which all these other plans revolve.)

This ship is floating nicely, also with me on board. “John Adams”, courtesy of the late David McCullough, is here at my side. My little family is forging ahead, with their respective goals, the work week being suitably short, before America’s de facto second National Day. The main thing, for me, is that everyone close to me has their personal agency intact. That is what will generate a feeling of inner peace, and eventually an atmosphere of understanding and good will shall return.

As we prepare for whatever form people choose to express gratitude, I want to express my appreciation for the First Nations people, like the Osage, who are still here-despite all attempts to shove them aside, as is depicted in “Killers of the Flower Moon”. Manipulators and thieves are ever with us, and will ever claw their way to the top, unless we learn to discern-and make it an integral part of who we are, as individuals and as communities.