Category Archives: Family

The Road to Diamond, Day 214: Proactive

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Posted by on in Assistance, collaborating, Family, Inner Struggles, Inspiration, Personal Values, Social, Spiritual, Striving

June 30,2025- A year ago, I was sitting aside the woman who gave me life, as she took her last breath. The moment was a bookend. She had worked very hard to make sure that I survived a rough birth, and that I overcame many obstacles, some self-imposed, in order to at least enjoy a long and fairly well-lived life. Her overriding instructions were “Don’t take yourself too seriously” and “Stay ahead of the game”. Mom’s approval mattered far more than either of us sometimes realized, and the struggles I had with self and others, over the year, largely were brought to a close when I reverted to what she had tried to instill, so often and so selflessly, over the decades.

I can never think of a time when her rejoinder “Poor baby” was callous or misplaced. A child of the Depression, who lost her father to cancer in its midst, and saw her four oldest brothers off to war, in the 1940s, and her younger brother as well, in the Korean conflict, was nonetheless shaken when I headed off to VietNam, for what was a mercifully non-troubling ten months of rear echelon duty. She was a paragon of persistence.

In a generally love-filled marriage, that lasted 37 years, she would often find herself facing her fears about her youngest son, alone. It took some constant communication to get her loved ones to understand just how much she wanted for the little boy, who became a disabled man. We each grew into compassionate adults, who would ourselves fight for the well-being of the least among us-and who would give anything for our children and, in my siblings’ cases, grandchildren. I know the latter now, anticipating a grandchild’s birth with a heart that is bursting with love.

Mom is now with so many of the souls she loved, and is looking out for the rest of us. I can count several times, in the past year, when there has been that one extra push to get me over the threshold. It has made some rather tall orders shrink down to hurdle level.

I only hope I have continued to make her proud. God knows, a reciprocal pride has welled in me, for as long as I can remember.

The Road to Diamond, Day 209: Not One Dimensional

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Posted by on in Assistance, collaborating, Community, Education, Family, impediments, Inner Struggles, Inspiration, Personal Values, Social, Spiritual, Striving

June 25, 2025- The day saw me in three states of being. Morning started, foggy-headed and with an appeal for help, from a family that was in a situation similar to the one in which we found ourselves in the late 2000s. I am eternally grateful to family members who helped out, back then. The best way I can still re-pay them is to help this present destitute family, while maintaining the expectation that they make their own case, as we had to after a fashion. So, food was put on the table and a road map was given towards it not becoming a constant appeal.

When I was younger, say, in my twenties, it was easy to look upon people in a one or two dimensional manner. No matter how often Mom said to not judge a book by its cover, the boy saw girls as potential mates and little else. (Thankfully, the decent part of me never pushed the physical aspect of that mindset. “No” was woe, but never was confused with “go”.) The student had a tinge of condescension towards the worker, until a working man turned the tables one day. I took a hard line towards those who did not toe society’s line-even as I had several motes in my own eyes. On the other hand, there was self-loathing.

By mid-day, I had regained equilibrium. The family’s needs were met and I caught up with a few lingering Red Cross tasks from yesterday. I was not feeling fog-headed and was thus able to plan for the rest of the day, and for tomorrow’s work day. I remembered that the fog was mainly from having had an overactive mind, in the middle of the night, mainly dreaming about lightning and rain, neither of which will get here until the middle of next week.

Evening came, with a Baha’i planning session and light supper. A brief afternoon nap had dispelled the fog and my attention was where it need to be-noting important points on the document being studied.

Any given day can bring energy phases, especially in the heat. Any given day can also bring reminder that no person is one or even two dimensional. Each of us is therefore entitled to some grace, when stumbling or when pretending that hubris will solve problems. Each of us is allowed to learn from mistakes and to grow. The only thing that doesn’t get a pass for very long is standing still.

The Road to Diamond, Day 208: Simulation

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Posted by on in collaborating, Community, distraction issues, Education, Family, impediments, Inner Struggles, Inspiration, Personal Values, Service Activities, Social, Spiritual, Striving

June 24,2025- I was the “client” in today’s simulation of a Red Cross response to a house fire. My role was as the head of a large family, which I made up. The purpose was to train four volunteers in the procedures of a Disaster Action Team, taking information for the organization’s assistance to house fire victims. I was there primarily to support the instructor, so taking the role of “victim” seemed the right way to do this. House fires constitute the most frequent theater for a Red Cross response-more than Blood Drives or disaster shelters. Red Cross volunteers are there for people at what is a profoundly personal time of need. Their most important material anchor, their home has been damaged or destroyed, and in most such instances, they and their loved ones are the sole victims. Red Cross can offer assistance for temporary shelter, transport and food, connections with recovery services, personal counseling and basic health care. That aid is no simulation.

Earlier in the day, I attended another meeting that was more concerned with local affairs, in the time of straitened circumstances. While I was waiting for the others to show up, I noted the presence of a man whose personal philosophy is rather medieval. He started, several years ago, questioning big government. That, in itself, is not a bad thing. Yet, several simulations and rabbit hole explorations later, he is unable to keep from questioning even the most basic physics. Gravity itself is not spared, and those who see planets as spheres are viewed by him as dupes. He himself has become a means of gratuitous entertainment to a fair number of people, and little else. More’s the pity.

After the meeting, which briefly also touched upon national and international events, I pondered the notion that perhaps one or more people in government are also engaged in simulation-and thus we have various experiments being done, with the view of seeing which one works. So far, I am not seeing any of them showing a whole lot of promise. Simulations, it would seem, have to be a bit more rooted in higher aspirations than is presently the case.

The Road to Diamond, Day 202: Antics and Responsibility

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Posted by on in Assistance, children, collaborating, Community, Family, Inspiration, Personal Values, Social, Spiritual, Striving

June 18, 2025- A man came into Theodore’s Fine Foods, his little son in tow-or maybe it was boy with Dad in tow. At any rate the child had the place captivated, as he relished a raised doughnut, covered in chocolate. His father went for napkins, several times, enjoying his own bagel and cream cheese, in between face wipes. It’s been a while since I’ve seen such enjoyment of a breakfast pastry by a small child. The boy did not run about, but sat joyfully until the treat was eaten. He then carefully walked his plate to the dish bin, and his napkins to the trash receptacle. This, apparently, was not his first go-round.

This is what I’ve observed as the most common behaviour of children in a restaurant. I’ve heard the horror stories-of parent engrossed in the phone screen, whilst brother and sister are pulling each other’s hair and tussling in the aisle. I have yet to see such things. I think the last time I experienced an obstreperous child carrying on in a public space was before Aram was born. Penny and I stopped at a small cafe, en route to Phoenix. A child, around the corner and out of sight, was yellling continuously, for about ten minutes. A deep voice called out, “SHUT UP!” Nothing further was heard from noisemaker. Son, himself, learned to behave nicely, after one trip back to the car, of an evening’s dinner stop.

Most parents just seem to be doing a good job, by their children. The key, Penny and I figured out fairly quickly, was consistency. It is natural for a child to try and push the boundaries, even playing one parent against the other-or comparing the parents to the neighbour families. We did not fall for that. Aram got the basic tools he has needed for success. As did yours truly, he had to decide himself to put those tools to use.

The tool kit will, at some point in the not-too-distant future, be passed along to our next generation. I hope to watch and support that effort.

The Road to Diamond, Day199: Fatherhood at 37

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Posted by on in Assistance, children, Education, Family, impediments, Inspiration, Personal Values, Social, Spiritual, Striving

June 15, 2025- In less than a month, Aram will be the same age that I was when he was born. There is a significance to this, which I cannot as yet divulge, but it is quite prescient. That age seems to be a call to maturity, in a very practical way. Aram has entered the field for which he has prepared, and is off to a good start. I rose to a solid position,in South Korea, around the time of his birth, and would have remained, but for family complications here in the U.S. I landed on my feet, once back here, but that is another story.

I was decidedly a late bloomer. My son does not have to be. He has long been recognized for leadership skills and has a solid work ethic. He is more grounded than I was, at that age. A number of mentors, both familial and professional, have helped in that regard. He is wise enough to seek our collective counsel, and to listen to the best of the advice given. I am confident in his future.

In our society that is at once aloof and indulgent, the skills that a person needs to succeed require a lot of self-discipline, of proactivity. There is a need for flexibility and for being able to find resources that make up for what government and industry may not offer, in the way of doing one’s job. Being able to see beyond make-work tasks, some of which are designed to salve the egos of higher-ups, is crucial. The superfluous still needs to get done, but even the most self-absorbed of corporate or public officials will appreciate a self-starter on their staff. One can always grouse, afterward, but the tasks will not go away on their own.

Fatherhood has some of the same aspects. One cannot argue, successfully with a toddler, or to a lesser extent, with a teenager. The hard work still needs to get done, though, and chances are the finished product will be a solid member of society, if the father (along with the mother) does not back away from core principles. As with teaching, the reward may not be seen until later, but the wait is worth it.

These are my thoughts, as my son actively considers becoming a father, in his own right.

The Road to Diamond, Day 196: Clarity

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Posted by on in Assistance, collaborating, Community, Family, Inner Struggles, Matters of Faith, Personal Values, Social, Spiritual, Striving

June 12, 2025- Angela sang a mix of love songs and reflective ballads, in the corner of Gypsy’s Bakery, where I stopped for a while to enjoy a light lunch. Gypsy’s is just one of several delightful spots that are within walking distance of Home Base I, making it as easy to take a meal out as it is to prepare my own. Angela’s music was an unexpected and soothing bonus.

I had a modest mission besides: Getting a back-up medical monitoring device, as my old one may be just wearing out, after fifteen years. I feel perfectly well, and want to keep it that way. With a potential addition to our family to consider, I need to be “in fighting trim”.

There are tempests swirling around, in other parts of the country and across the globe. These could be mitigated by clear communication, but the trend, for many years, has been to play close to the vest, and to talk in riddles. Another trend has been for people to approach one another like bulls in a china shop, or cannons aimed at mosquitos. Clarity, ahead of action, is the only way to avoid the miscommunication that has led us to our two current impasses, one domestic, the other international.

Some will say that the world is too complex for clarity. Well, we see what obfuscation has brought us: 249 dead in a plane crash in India; mass destruction in Iran; increasing tendency to pre-empt dissent, by merely arresting the possible dissenter(s) ahead of time. Obfuscation comes from ambition gone sideways; as does repression; as does vengeance.

I pray for all those in Israel, Iran, India and across our country, that there is safety and that there is a return to sanity-as well as clarity.

The Road to Diamond, Day 192: Own Inner Voice Speaks

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Posted by on in Assistance, collaborating, Community, Family, Inspiration, Personal goals, Personal Values, Social, Spiritual, Striving, Travel

June 8, 2025- The message was crystal clear, this morning: “You need no coffee right now. Water is more urgent.” It was certainly a no-brainer; it’s hot, for the next several days. This, however, is a long-term notion. I can, and will, drastically cut back on coffee consumption (no more 3-4 cups a day), and when visiting lovely cafes, can order items such as “Golden Milk”, fruity coolers or chai, especially during our lengthy heat cycle. (It’s not just here in Arizona. Both places that are potentially alternate residences-North Texas and the Philippines, lend themselves well to consumption of cool beverages. Europe (September) will also have a plethora of healthy beverages, besides great coffee-and tea.

I have often relied on spirit guides, and the loving advice of friends and family, in both health-related matters and planning activities or travel. In planning changes to my diet, the past day or so, my own inner voice took charge. So, cool water or shakes will be at my side, while I read the morning paper.

Meals are always smaller in the summer. Breakfast, except for the Post on Sunday, is fairly small. Lunch is a plateful of nuts and crunchy (the traditional meaning of the word) mini-pretzels. Dinner is a modest portion of something healthful, though not often vegetarian or vegan. There is no going back to heavy.

I owe it to my little family, to someone else who I love very much and to so many, both here and across the globe, who have been so kind and devoted to my well-being, to cultivate and listen to the inner voice that wants me to stay the course, for another 25 years at least.

Raise a glass of cucumber or melon water, or a cup of coolness, to the faithful inner voice!

The Road to Diamond, Day 190: Ever Connected

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Posted by on in Assistance, collaborating, Community, Family, Inspiration, Matters of Faith, Personal Values, Social, Spiritual, Striving, Travel

June 6, 2025- As I sat this morning, contemplating what to do, as a hiking plan was interrupted by unforeseen circumstances, messages came to me from the single most important soul in my life, thus far. I was to firm up both short-term and long-range plans, for service in Prescott and Bellemont and for visiting friends in Europe, come September.

Forty-three years have gone by, since Penny and I committed to each other. That commitment endured a number of challenges, most seriously her hereditary disease, which dogged her all her life, but came on strongest in the 2000s, and eventually took her life. Those close to me know that she and I went through this hellish time together-and I did not flinch.

A friend of Kathy’s and mine, who also lives in the Philippines, wrote that the need of any woman is for her man to stand by her, and not use her as a plaything. Nothing is truer. My primary interest in Kathy is that she realizes her dreams and her own life plan. We both must tend to our respective families first, and if it comes to pass that we have time together, that will be gravy.

Getting back to the promptings of the spirit mentioned above, I have a few days at the turnover between June and July to devote to a group at Bellemont. There will be a lot of Red Cross work, both in person and online, the next two weeks. Slow Food, the Farmers Market and Solid Rock soup kitchen will continue to figure in the mix, throughout the summer.

I will fulfill promises made in 2016 and again last year, to visit friends in Sweden, Croatia and Great Britain, in September, with an initial stop in Iceland. There may be other places during and right after these visits. I have been told to stick to a one-day-at-a-time mentality, and so it will be.

In the end, today was a re-assuring day and a fair number of things were resolved-just no hike. I am ever grateful to all the people in my life, especially to the women, both living and in the ethereal world.

The Road to Diamond, Day 185: Heads or Tails?

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Posted by on in Assistance, Community, Family, Inspiration, Personal Values, service, Social, Spiritual, Striving, Travel

June 1, 2025- I received a notice from the airline that I’ve been using most often ,these past four years, that my accumulated miles will expire in six months. I have plans to use them, and to add to them, three months from now. Where exactly will depend on a couple of family-related matters that will take clearer shape, in the next month or two. I may be needed at that point in time, or the matter will wait until later in the Fall.

There is an energy in June that says: “Hold off; rest; take care of small, procedural matters and day-to-day interactions. This month, you probably won’t need to go far afield. ” I like that, actually. It will be enough to stand my ground, regarding July, and others’ demands and expectations for that month. It will be enough to plan a bit for September and October. It will be more than enough, still, to resolve the important, when the most important looms over it.

Much of what goes on in life is a flip of the coin. I can only hope that those for whom the toss does not go in their favour will understand that this is not personal. Family is most important; then come those extended family who deeply touch my heart; then comes the community that I have carefully chosen to serve. I realize this is all rather nebulous, but here we are. A lot of moving pieces need to be helped to find their places.

The Road to Diamond, Day 182: Heaviness

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Posted by on in Assistance, collaborating, Community, Family, impediments, Inner Struggles, Inspiration, Personal Values, Social, Spiritual, Striving

May 29, 2025- It was hard, somehow, to maintain focus during a meeting I attended this morning and through the noon hour. It wasn’t the fault of the presenter, or of the subject matter. The air was cool, so it was not that, either. There was just a heaviness today, that stayed with me, requiring a more concerted effort to get what I needed from the Red Cross training session-for which I was an assistant commentator, to boot. It lingered, even as I purchased a dinner item from a nearby pizzeria, for evening consumption, and as I later exercised on a recumbent bike at Planet Fitness. It wasn’t a physical issue-my blood pressure read normal and I was breathing easily. There had to be some deeper cause.

In this late hour, I am reminded that today would have been the 61st birthday of my late youngest brother, Brian, who died in 1994, just shy of his 30th. He would have been proud of my service to the community, albeit at a very rudimentary level, as his disabilities made communication difficult. Nonetheless, there was a very basic love about the child, and later, the man. It was in our interactions with him that each of his four siblings developed a compassion for those less fortunate. That has informed our social and community behaviours, as much as any experiences we each have had over six or seven decades.

Those who have left us will communicate in various ways. I think now that the spirit of my baby brother was reminding me that sometimes, life takes a gargantuan effort, just to get through an ordinary day. The heaviness lifted, as I sat and read some pages of a book on the ancient Mediterranean world. Brian liked to pretend to read aloud. He would surely have approved.