Category Archives: Family

The Fable of the Carrots

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Posted by on in children, collaborating, Education, Family, Fiction, impediments, Inspiration, Personal Values, Social, Striving

May 13, 2026- I read this to Hana this afternoon. “Once there was a rabbit who had gathered so many carrots, that he had no room in his house. He went about, asking his friends for a place to sleep.” Long story short, he crowded a turtle, a bird and a beaver out of their homes, as he brought many of his carrots along with him. Eventually, he brought his friends with him back to his house, and shared the carrots with them.

She will hear this story again and again, as her parents and I teach her about the importance of not hoarding, and of sharing. She sees us sharing, constantly, so it will not come as a surprise to her that this is expected.

I thought, after the activity, of the dynamics of hoarding; of how it reflects the insecurity of the person amassing, whether it is of money, land, or physical items. The rabbit in the story had so many carrots with him that the branch, on which the bird’s nest sat, broke and the beaver’s house became top-heavy from the overload, and fell into the river. Is the excess of wealth that we see among the oligarchs not the same?

To a certain extent, no one can assess for another, as to how much the other person needs, but billions of dollars are like the carrots in the fable: Both an unwieldy burden and a nuisance to those around the owner. The rabbit ends up deciding to share his excess, to make it up to his friends. Some billionaires have made similar decisions; others give a fair amount of money away to charity, each year, and share with loved ones. The hoarders, though, are going to be faced, sooner or later, with the sky high pile that poses more problems than it relieves.

I am waiting to see who will end up in which group-sharer, or hoarder?

The Totoro Wallpaper

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Posted by on in Assistance, children, Education, Entertainment, Family, Fiction, Inspiration, Personal Values, Social

May 12, 2026- Hana’s mother has been very busy, these past two days, receiving and arranging two boxes of books, and carefully putting a mural of the Japanese character Totoro and his friends on the wall of Hana’s play area. My curious granddaughter now has friendly faces upon which to gaze, when she looks upon the wall, while resting from all the crawling she’s been doing.

Above, are Totoro (bottom) and his two rabbit friends, who are called “Smaller Totoros”.

I am getting a quick education on popular Japanese cartoon characters. Others, who have their own plush toys, include Pompomporin, a dog who likes caramel pudding; Hello Kitty; My Melody ( a rabbit); Kerokerokeroppi ( a frog) and My Sweet Piano (a sheep), These are Sanrio characters. There are also many Pokemon plush toys, including the ubiquitous Pikachu, who is, of course, a pika. With these characters, and more, Hana will be able to let her imagination run wild. I look forward to her weaving stories, in her toddler and middle childhood years.

All this is actually a balm for me as well. Paying attention to the goings on outside these four walls, I almost think the anime world is saner. I know that all that is going wrong will fall away, in time, yet I want to keep my granddaughter’s world as innocent as possible, while her character forms.

By Example

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Posted by on in Assistance, children, collaborating, Community, Education, Family, Inner Struggles, Personal goals, Personal Values, service, Social, Spiritual, Striving

May 11, 2026- Some of what I have modeled for Hana has been physical-even crawling on my hands and knees, a little, so she can see what is involved, and reading words from left to right, pointing,as she follows each word, I also explain what I;m doing, step by step, no matter how simple the task.

She maintains focus, quite a bit more than one might expect a 4.5-month-old infant to keep attention. It seems to be a matter of storing information, either for use in a week or two, as with crawling or the sequence of letters, to recall and use as a toddler.

Funny thing about example: One never knows when little eyes and ears are picking up on what is being said or done. I had given up cursing long before Aram was born, as I just didn’t see any use for such talk, when other words met my needs just as well. He was quite assertive, in calling out what he thought was behaviour that was not in sync with words, especially in middle childhood.

I have a feeling that Hana will do the same. She already communicates quite well, with body language, eye contact and babbles that are fairly comprehensible as words. There is even a fair amount of intonation that give a sense of what she wants to convey.

Example is just the least one can do, to build character in those for whom one is responsible. It is crucial in child rearing-and just as much so, in positions of public responsibility. I had a high bar to maintain, and did, as a teacher, counselor and building principal-and even as a substitute teacher, in my last years of work. I didn’t always meet the expectations of the higher echelon or of the governing boards, but my standing with all but a few students, co-workers and parents was constantly stable.

Elected officials, likewise, would do a whole lot better to adhere to the highest standard of conduct. It’s been a while since that bar has been met, by all too many in public office. This has nothing to do with ideology. As we have seen, there are honest, trustworthy conservatives and progressives alike and there are the opposite, among both camps.

Bringing oneself to account each day seems to be the most effective counter to backsliding and it pays dividends, in terms of how one’s example is followed.

The Beauty of the Lilies

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Posted by on in children, collaborating, Family, Historical, Inspiration, Matters of Faith, Personal Values, Social, Spiritual, Striving

May 10, 2026- There was a plenitude of delicious, healthful food at DiMatte’s Mediterranean Buffet, as we celebrate Yunhee’s first Mother’s Day. Hana is still a bit unready for solid food, but she was happy about us going to a large, clean and relatively quiet eatery. She likes people, but doesn’t like excessive noise or heat, which unfortunately are features of many food courts. Besides, this is the first of two special days honouring her parents. Today, and Father’s Day, next month, are on me.

Hana’s understanding of such things is, of course not certain, but probably limited to knowing that her father and I made a fuss over her mother-so she was even more affectionate than usual, towards Yunhee. It was a fine, if low key day, and my daughter-in-law got to do what she likes best, tidying up the common rooms downstairs, and making a nicer play area for her little girl.

In November, 1861, Julia Ward Howe wrote “The Battle Hymn of the Republic”, to the tune of “John Brown’s Body”, as a means of lifting the spirits of those fighting for the Union cause in the American Civil War. After that conflict had ended, she was first impelled to organize the national observance of Mother’s Day, in 1867, Following the calamitous Franco-Prussian War, in 1870-71, Ms. Ward-Howe called for an international observance of Mother’s Day, in the hopes of generating a global movement of women for peace. The opening lines of the fifth verse of the anthem are intended to sanctify the giving of lives: “In the beauty of the lilies Christ was born across the sea,
With a glory in His bosom that transfigures you and me.
As He died to make men holy, let us die to make men free,[16]
While God is marching on.” It seldom has worked out that way.

Mothers have never, in their hearts of hearts, desired to see their children slaughtered for the sake of someone else’s agenda. Patriotism mitigates the expression of anti-war sentiments, when it is understood that liberty is threatened by an aggressive enemy, but I recall my mother’s grief when I told her I was headed to Viet Nam, in 1971. I told her at the last minute, as she and my father were saying goodbye at the airport. In the ten months I was there, I handled accountable mail and helped unload bulk mail trucks, but I never faced any real danger from the Viet Cong. There were too many, including two childhood friends, who were not so lucky.

As I write this, the cover page on my laptop shows a setting Sun, still casting an amber glow in the surrounding sky and on the ocean below. I get an odd comfort from this, and feel the strength and love of my mother, my late wife and all my female friends and relatives who have passed on I feel the ongoing love of those nurturing women who are still very much alive-and who tend to the children, animals and the sick who are in their care,

In whatever capacity you nurture, I hope your Mother’s Day has brought honour and solace.

Domino Effect

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Posted by on in children, collaborating, Community, Family, impediments, Personal Values, Service Activities, Social, Striving

May 5, 2026- My granddaughter had a fairly good day, considering that both of her parents had to work at their sites and got home a bit later than usual. Hana is only 4,5 months old, but she puts two and two together pretty well. When she sat and watched me preparing dinner for the family, which has only happened one other time,and no one got home before the meal was ready and put on low heat, she got agitated and wept disconsolately.. Her father got home about ten minutes later and held her for a while. She recovered and was happy again, even more so, once her mother also got back.

It’s hard to know what goes on, in the mind of a pre-verbal child, but body language can give one a fairly strong clue. She enjoys being with me, AND needs her parents. She sleeps through the night, knowing that they are in the room with her, and is most relaxed when one of them is working from home. That will change in June, with both of them having to go back to the office, five days a week. By then, she will have had a bit more time to have it explained to her enough to make an impression. Plus, she and I will be able to take outings in the stroller, with a city park a ten-minute walk. Hana will thrive, given the strength of her bonds with the three of us.

This all brought to mind the thousands of children, from infants to teens, whose family bonds are tenuous, at best. Organizations like Save the Children and Children International have been able to step in and offer educational, recreational and mentoring programs, in various nations across the globe. Another such organization is New Era Children’s Foundation, headquartered in Phoenix, AZ, and with programs locally there, as well as in East Africa and South Asia https://necf.asia/north-america/

Both involvement and neglect have domino effects. People who are abused and neglected in childhood will pay that abuse and neglect forward. Several people who were interviewed in a recent podcast were unequivocal about being perfectly willing to beat, and even kill, children of an ethnic minority in their country. When pressed further, they each said that abuse and neglect had been the dominant features of their own childhood. On the other hand, those who experience a stable upbringing are more likely to treat children well, even taking on the roles of mentor and protector. What comes around, stays around.

In my case, forty-six years of working with children, who were in various degrees of social stability, have left me that much more determined to see a highly intelligent and sensitive child build a solid life for herself. She has grounded, stable parents, so the odds are good.

Limits of Responsibility

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Posted by on in children, Community, Family, Personal Values, Social, Spiritual, Striving

May 4, 2026- I watched a video, this evening, in which several grown men and women openly advocated the killing of children who belong to an ethnic group with whom these “adults” are at odds. Their rationale was either, “They’ll just grow up to oppress us” or “Nobody protected me, when I was a child.” I felt nauseated, just as I was sickened by all the venom expressed when Black children were being killed in the 1960s and again in this decade; when Hispanic children have been rounded up, regardless of citizenship status, in the last ten years.

Know who slaughters their young? Scorpions. We humans pride ourselves on the safeguarding of children. By and large, we do a credible job of seeing our young through to adulthood. A growing awareness of, and willingness to confront, pedophile networks and individuals, will gradually bring those twisted criminals to justice-regardless of their social rank. The mindless attacks on children, in areas where civil conflict is being stoked by their countries’ leaders, needs to be called out, openly and without regard for grievances between adults. Children are not responsible, ever, for the differences between those old enough to face the consequences of their actions. Nor are today’s children responsible for what happened in the 1960s or 1970s to those who make them the targets of revenge.

I know, now and as long as I am of sound mind and body, that my grandchild(ren), extended family and any friends who may be with them will not be harmed by any adult (or adolescent, for that matter) without consequence to the perpetrator. Adults are responsible for children, not the other way around. It is time those who don’t understand this, learn it-and internalize it.

Brevity and Longevity

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Posted by on in Assistance, children, collaborating, Education, Entertainment, Family, Fiction, Historical, Inspiration, Personal Values, Social, Striving

May 2, 2026- If I live to be 100, or longer, it may well be partly due to the things in which I invest time and energy. Certainly, being fully involved in the life of my grandchild has a part to play. So does any exercise or even resuming travel again, once Hana is of school age and her parents have earned vacation time. Diet also comes into play.

Then, there is the reading material in which I invest time. I am rediscovering classics, in my choice of what to read to Hana. I have read her “Heidi” and am currently reading her “The Red Pony”, by John Steinbeck. It’s a bit tougher than Johanna Spyri’s classic,and shows a different way of looking at life’s challenges. She will only have a slight sense of the mood of the story, so I am not concerned with its effects. I will revert more to more conventional children’s works, going forward, as her awareness grows and she actually starts asking questions. That day is coming faster than some of you may think.

My personal reading, both print books and long form Substack pieces, is also going to keep the gray matter oiled and lubed. Both media are comprised of thought=provoking pieces. I am presently reading “The Beginning Comes After The End”, by Rebecca Solnit and “The God of the Woods”, by Liz Moore. Substack sites range from “The Hungary Report” and “Life Intelligence” to “The Gut Check Guy” and “The Good Men Project”. There are a total of ten sites, not all of which show in my feed every day.

Many people opt for the fast food of journalism: Reels and clips. The problem I have with high brevity is that only part of any given story is presented. Then there is a hint, “Click to continue”, which the one time I fell for it, I was asked to subscribe to the reel’s host site-big bucks for the equivalent of a Big Mac.

Brevity has its place, but the maintenance of a well-oiled thinking machine needs a considerably higher-level investment. I may not be digging into “War and Peace” anytime soon, but long-form is a better investment of time and energy.

May Day

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Posted by on in Assistance, children, collaborating, Community, Family, Historical, impediments, Inspiration, Personal Values, Social, Striving

May 1, 2026- As another gray day dawned, yet in a new month, Hana and I looked out at the squirrels frolicking on the lawn and in the trees, as they went about their day of climbing and parkour. (Squirrels are premier roof-vaulters.) For her part, my granddaughter was focused on army crawling and semi-crawling, as she is now able to move with her hands and knees in sync, though not yet with her torso fully off the ground.

Several people, across the country, and in some other nations,observed a day of protest. Many were on strike. May Day is traditionally a day for Organized Labour to call attention to its grievances, and on this particular day, concerns are many. We did our shopping earlier in the week, so it was not hard to honour the call to refrain from discretionary commerce. Son and daughter-in-law had light work schedules, and I, being retired, had only my labour of love to engage, as I have done every day for the last four months and two weeks. So, we were, in a de facto sense, in sync with the day’s mood.

Protest and criticism often rankle their targets. A parent may take umbrage at a child’s refusal to go along with a directive. Government officials, increasingly these days, don’t like it a bit, if citizens stand up and voice a contrary opinion. I watched a program this evening, in which a judge ordered a witness to break confidence, and the witness refused, thus invoking a contempt-of-court citation and time in a holding cell. (The judge’s move backfired, as the witness’s confider took the stand and spoke truth to power. The jury then convicted the defendant-who was a friend of the judge.)

We are all made different, distinct from one another, right down to our basic building blocks. Even identical twins have differences. So, there is no way that any two people are going to agree, 24/7. Yet, there is, especially among insecure people in positions of authority, an increasing intolerance for criticism, either public or private. The operative word here is insecure.

A better course of action is always to hear out the criticism, find points of truth in it, and examine how those points of truth could help one improve. That requires reflection and trust in one’s basic abilities.

Bugs

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Posted by on in Assistance, children, collaborating, Community, Family, impediments, Personal Values, Social, Striving

April 30, 2026– When my son returned from a shopping run, this evening, among the items he brought out were two electronic flying insect zappers. This sparked a conversation about the pests that occasionally find their way in from the outside-the houseflies, mosquitoes and sewer cockroaches. We maintain roach motels for the latter, which only show up after a heavy rain. So, the zappers should take care of the rest.

To be clear, we maintain strict standards of cleanliness around the house. With a baby becoming more mobile, we take no chances. Besides, who wants to “share” food with flies? The kids loathe them, and even I, in my sanguinity towards all life, will wield a fly swatter or kill a mosquito with my hands, before seeing either harm anyone in my family.

This brings up the place of scavengers in nature. Aram would gladly burn all vermin, if given the chance. So, what would the planet look like, with no flies, cockroaches, mosquitoes, rats (which we don’t have, thankfully) or carrion-eating birds? Since all living things eventually pass on, I daresay the planet would be far more of a mess, if not for the clean-up crew.

Further, I have been in places where there is either irregular trash pick-up, or none at all. My penchant for being a good citizen and picking discarded paper or plastic off a sidewalk and depositing it in a trash receptacle would have seemed ludicrous in such communities, The animals are, in such cases, fully “on the job” and humans have their work cut out for them, in maintaining hygienic boundaries in their homes.

So, we carry on with the balance of cleanliness and dirt, life and decay, conflict and resolution. The effort is a constant-and the bugs will keep getting zapped.

Well-Tended

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Posted by on in children, collaborating, Community, Family, Inspiration, Matters of Faith, Personal Values, Social, Spiritual, Striving

April 27, 2026- My four-month dental check-up and cleaning, by a new provider, touched all the bases that the team at Desert Dental, in Phoenix, did for thirteen years. New Bite is our family’s dental care provider, so I helped Aram get a small sign-up bonus, and I get one as well. The practice is state-of-the art, checking sinuses and thyroid, as well as teeth, tongue, gums and jaws. I will be well-tended.

Hana had her four-month physical this morning and is on track in all her growth areas. This morning, she greeted me with “Hi” and when I asked her if she had a good sleep, she answered “Yeah”. It happened that she slept through the night, so things are going well, for her and for Mom and Dad.

The house is far more comfortable now, then it was last week, before the HVAC work. There is still a little left to straighten out, here and there, but we should be in good shape for the height of summer. The three of us share every task pretty much equally. Whoever comes upon something that needs doing, does it first. I even whipped up some pancakes, yesterday morning, like my Dad used to do on Sundays. Yunhee covered the lettuce bed with a “critter proof” mesh, so the rabbits will take what is theirs and leave our greens alone.

The country can be well-tended, if people work together. A few days ago, the governing body of the Baha’i Faith in the United States, our National Spiritual Assembly, put forth a reasonable call to action. I leave you with a link to this document, in the hopes that it might inspire some to take concerted action of their own, for the good of the nation-and of the planet.

https://www.acommonendeavor.org/