Tag Archives: criticism

The Hana Chronicles: Month 6, Day 12

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Posted by on in "sibling-ish", children, collaborating, Community, Entertainment, Family, Historical, Personal Values, Social, Spiritual, Striving

July 3, 2026- Hana had a good day, playing with each of us, in succession. Each of us also had to tend to separate errands and appointments. She learned, this evening, however, that I have the role of parent, as well as of grandparent. Her father was having a heat-fueled headache and needed me to take over for him during her bath. I had no trouble doing that. She then wanted him to hold her, instead of her going into the crib. After about twenty minutes, though, she was still carrying on and I had the intuition that, unless she had a physical discomfort, she would stop squalling if we all just left her in the crib, to fall asleep. We did that, and she went to sleep right away. Sometimes, self-reliance has to be nudged along.

I have received criticism, online, from two people I don’t know. One is a fairly intelligent extended family member of some friends back in Arizona. Her complaint was quite specific and had some validity, so I made a correction to my own remarks. The other, possibly a bot, was all over the place, attacking people across the political spectrum. There was nothing specific, other than he knows everything and we are all full of dung. As it was on another person’s forum, I made my own remarks-not about him-and left it alone afterward. I am always willing to learn, even hard lessons, but I have no time for nonsense or fantasy-driven abstractions.

We are preparing for tomorrow’s Independence Day festivities. Hana will be asleep before any fireworks, but for good measure, we have a pair of earmuffs. I hope to be able to see the festivities from my upstairs window, but whatever.

HANA’S NOTE- I get so tired that I want to sleep in my Daddy’s arms. Papa says that’s not fair to Daddy all the time. I guess that’s so, ’cause Papa doesn’t lie.

YEAR IN REMEMBRANCE- 1955 We found ourselves too cramped for space on Central Street, and my parents found a fixer-upper for sale, on Adams Avenue, in the middle of Saugus. So, it was so long, Russ, Karen and Bobby. It was a good thing we moved when we did. Brother David came along, on the day we moved. He needed the crib, so Cheryl got her own room and I got the second bedroom, looking out on the street below.

May Day

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Posted by on in Assistance, children, collaborating, Community, Family, Historical, impediments, Inspiration, Personal Values, Social, Striving

May 1, 2026- As another gray day dawned, yet in a new month, Hana and I looked out at the squirrels frolicking on the lawn and in the trees, as they went about their day of climbing and parkour. (Squirrels are premier roof-vaulters.) For her part, my granddaughter was focused on army crawling and semi-crawling, as she is now able to move with her hands and knees in sync, though not yet with her torso fully off the ground.

Several people, across the country, and in some other nations,observed a day of protest. Many were on strike. May Day is traditionally a day for Organized Labour to call attention to its grievances, and on this particular day, concerns are many. We did our shopping earlier in the week, so it was not hard to honour the call to refrain from discretionary commerce. Son and daughter-in-law had light work schedules, and I, being retired, had only my labour of love to engage, as I have done every day for the last four months and two weeks. So, we were, in a de facto sense, in sync with the day’s mood.

Protest and criticism often rankle their targets. A parent may take umbrage at a child’s refusal to go along with a directive. Government officials, increasingly these days, don’t like it a bit, if citizens stand up and voice a contrary opinion. I watched a program this evening, in which a judge ordered a witness to break confidence, and the witness refused, thus invoking a contempt-of-court citation and time in a holding cell. (The judge’s move backfired, as the witness’s confider took the stand and spoke truth to power. The jury then convicted the defendant-who was a friend of the judge.)

We are all made different, distinct from one another, right down to our basic building blocks. Even identical twins have differences. So, there is no way that any two people are going to agree, 24/7. Yet, there is, especially among insecure people in positions of authority, an increasing intolerance for criticism, either public or private. The operative word here is insecure.

A better course of action is always to hear out the criticism, find points of truth in it, and examine how those points of truth could help one improve. That requires reflection and trust in one’s basic abilities.

Each One, Let The Other One Live

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Posted by on in collaborating, impediments, Inspiration, Personal Values, Social, Striving

November 22, 2019-

I am reading the updated version of a young adult novel, “Abbie Wize: AWAKE”.   It is the story of a misunderstood, isolated and battered young girl, who experiences a unique spiritual awakening.  Her main nemesis is her own mother, who appears at this point in the novel as a brutal and controlling menace.

Jordan Peterson’s Rule 10 is ” Don’t Knock A Teenager Off A Skateboard”.  Basically, our task as members of society is to not be so up in other people’s business, that we quash their legitimate joys, experiences and efforts.     This is even true, to an extent, of parents, so long as a child is not harming self or others.

I tend to concur with that sentiment.  My own parents were not brutes and I can count on one hand the number of times I was physically chastised, as a child and teen.  I was not too different, as a father, in that respect.

As adults, many tend to think it is within their boundaries to prescribe to others, exactly how they should be handling their business.  There is a story about an old man, a young boy and a donkey.  As they went on their journey to a town that was ten kilometers away, the old man walked, while the boy rode the donkey.  Some objected, saying the robust boy should let his elder ride.  They switched places and kept going.  Others appeared, berating the old man for making such a small child walk.  The boy joined the old man, riding the donkey.  Animal rights activists chided the pair, for putting the poor donkey under such a strain.  The man and boy decided the activists were right, and began carrying the donkey!  A group of rowdy men gathered, and began mocking the two, for being so stupid as to carry an animal.  The old man and the boy decided to take turns riding the donkey, and so they went the rest of the way in peace.

Dr. Peterson’s point here is not that we should be apathetic towards our fellows, but that we should adopt a posture of seeing each other as they see themselves, and taking steps to encourage right behaviour-rather than aiming our arrows solely at what is being done wrong.

This, combined with his earlier point about listening to one’s critics, calls for a balance in our interactions with one another.  I have learned to measure my criticism carefully, as well as to sift my own naysayers’ words, with a view towards continuous self-improvement.

 

August Didn’t Kill Me

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Posted by on in distraction issues, Poetry, Striving

September 7, 2018, Prescott-

August didn’t kill me.

It was not for lack of trying.

I am, like others in my family,

stubborn, determined,

that the month,

this year,

the next two or three years,

are not my swansong.

Joint pain came and was dispatched,

thanks to my chiropractor,

and a gift from a trusted friend.

Secrecy, in and around my little work family,

means nothing to me,

in terms of my getting my job done.

Harsh criticism,

coming from a casual acquaintance,

who claims to know my future,

will not blunt, or alter, my life’s course.

August didn’t kill me,

nor will September.

Shedding More Baggage

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Posted by on in Family, Inner Struggles, Inspiration

December 23, 2015, Saugus-  It is no secret, to those who knew me when, that I have limited myself, over the years, and that there is much that I could have achieved, had the self-shackles come off.  Penny released me from a good many of these, and I learned through the years since her passing, to release myself from still others.

Here, in the town, and home, of my childhood, I have come to grips with the basis of all these limitations:  Self-confidence.  Mom has always been my strongest advocate, so it was no surprise when she confronted me with what she sees as my greatest flaw.  There is no real reason for lack of self-confidence.  Fear of criticism had a lot to do with it, but what is criticism, other than a message from the Universe to open more channels of awareness- and act on them.

So, here I am, enjoying precious minutes with family, and poised for a far better 2016 than I have allowed its predecessors to be.