Category Archives: Family

A Day Without Foolishness

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Posted by on in children, collaborating, Community, Education, Family, Inspiration, Personal Values, Social, Spiritual, Striving

April 1, 2026- It was calm here today. Aram and Yunhee both spent the day working, and I looked after Hana. The parents each dealt with people who had dropped the ball; the baby and I re-focused on building her upper body strength, leaving more ambulatory skills for later on. She likes that much better.

I am finding that, if I watch her body cues and listen to her vocalizations, I get an accurate sense of what I should make my focus and for how long. A baby who feels understood is less likely to revert to crying, (Yes, one could pretty much say that about anyone.) If I acknowledge her feelings, with words that fall into her receptive vocabulary, I get the broadest smile. Those sparkling eyes tell me my efforts are registering and are appreciated. A little hug verifies that.

When Mommy and daddy got off work, I fixed a simple dinner, then we all celebrated Hana’s Baek-il (first 100 days). She wore a ceremonial dress and wore it nicely. The small head ribbon stayed on just long enough for her parents to take several photographs. A special cake and cookies made for an extra special dessert. Hana “cut the cake” with her hand on top of her mother’s,

I got my first of month bills paid and a long-standing project in the Philippines will now be completed. I hope that, all in all, today was a day without foolishness, for anyone who has been paying attention to what is most important.

A Hundred Days of Hana

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Posted by on in children, collaborating, Education, Family, Inspiration, Personal Values, Social, Striving

March 31, 2026-A good report came back today, regarding an abnormality that had been previously diagnosed in my granddaughter. It turned out the diagnosis was wrong, and her functioning is normal. This was particularly welcomed, because today is Hana’s Hundredth Day, or Baek-il,

Korean Tradition of Baek-il *

To outsiders, celebrating a 100-day mark might seem excessive—but in Korea, it’s a milestone rich in history, emotion, and symbolism. Whether for a newborn baby, a blossoming romance, or a personal journey, the Korean “100-day” tradition—known as baek-il (백일)—represents survival, progress, and shared joy. Let’s explore the roots and evolution of this beloved custom.

Why Babies’ First 100 Days Matter*

Historically, infant survival in Korea was uncertain. If a child made it to 100 days, families would celebrate with a ceremony called baek-il. Traditional rice cakes, fruit, and prayers to ancestors were common. Today, modern parents mark this milestone with professional photos, private parties, and social media posts—still honoring life’s fragile beginnings.

As Hana is half Korean, we are making a big deal out of the milestone. We aren’t going in for professional photos, but a Baek-il dress, special rice cakes and giving thanks to all our departed family will be on the agenda. Due to a miscount, the celebration will be held tomorrow, but it’ll be joyful, nonetheless.

The little girl’s first hundred days have been a study in someone who pushes herself to develop skills: Ambulatory (Army crawling, sitting up with support), hygienic (holding a bib to her mouth to wipe any residue, readily taking and swallowing oral medication-without fussing) and communicating (using both babbling and about a dozen clearly pronounced one-syllable words, maintaining eye contact). She has a broad smile and an infectious laugh. Conversely, when she is upset,her voice can be thunderous. She has large, cerulean blue/green eyes that twinkle when she feels playful.

When she wakes up tomorrow, there will be a big sign, made of letter balloons: “Happy 100 Days, Hana!” She will go through the day with usual activities, then when her father gets off work, we will dress her and happy Korean songs will play. We adults will enjoy the goodies, but she is congenial about that. As long as she is sitting in her little chair alongside us, all is well for my granddaughter.

I look forward to the next 100 days, and all that follows.

*https://www.koreanhabits.com/2025/05/koreanhabits-20250512-70.html#

Clear Voices

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Posted by on in children, collaborating, Community, Family, impediments, Personal Values, Social, Spiritual, Striving

March 28, 2026- Millions of people spoke their peace today. I noted at least 300. here in Plano. My attention was directed towards family, especially my granddaughter, so I limited myself to driving past the gathered crowd and honking in support, because…..enough has been enough for some time, Clear voices matter, for the simple fact that without them, there is no direction. There has been a cacophony, that seems to change with the wind, and only the loudest, most impatient of voices among those currently making policy have been prevailing.

This is not a matter of liberalism vs. conservatism. No serious voice is seeking to shush conservative points of view. No serious voice should be seeking to silence liberals. In creating a coin, the idea of it having one side is ludicrous. In raising a family, two parents are always going to meet with more success than a single caregiver. There will be a solution to a problem, but it can’t come from an authoritarian source. Some point to Hungary, under Viktor Orban and his Fidesz Party, as a conservative society that works. Apparently, that is not going as well as has been claimed-and there is a very competitive election campaign going on in that country right now. We shall see.

Hana has been quite vocal, of late. Some of her utterances are quite clear, and germane to the situation at hand. Other times, she is babbling, albeit in earnest. She is not likely one who will hold back. Her grandmother would be proud of her. I certainly am, and will ever encourage her speaking out, though taking time to think before she speaks. Her father was expected to speak his mind, after processing information. That led to some conflict with an older relative who had a rather Victorian mindset, but no matter. Keeping children in the background never uniformly worked well. Intelligent young people have ever needed to be directed, not quashed.

So, today, and for quite some time to come, we face a period of transition, from the primacy of a favoured few to a broader-based gathering of the minds and hearts. There will, in the end of it all, not be a patriarchy, or a matriarchy, but, as Marianne Williamson wrote today-a fraternity, or whatever one wants to call a gathering of siblings. Keep speaking your truth.

Sweet Sixteen, 2026

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Posted by on in children, Community, Education, Family, Personal Values, Social, Striving

March 27,.2026- There were two separate games on the screens, at Vickery Park Cafe, which has the women’s NCAA championship tournament on, full bore. It seems about time that the health and well-being of young women is given the same cache, in the sports bar network, as those of young men. We have had a few years of increased public interest in Women’s College Basketball, thanks to Caitlin Clark, Angela Reese and, this year, Azzi Fudd.

I stopped in at Vickery. in between getting my blood drawn at the Veterans Administration Medical Center, in Garland and a chiropractic adjustment, in Frisco. The place offers high quality burgers and salads, and their soups are superb, as well. Seeing the equal time being given to the ladies’ Sweet 16 was a bonus.

At home, Hana was highly insistent, this evening, on doing a “round trip” of Army crawling, going about a foot in one direction, then going back the other way. I will get a soft quilt, tomorrow, which we can overlay on the plastic mat. In the moment, though, she was not happy until tonight’s effort was completed. I thought of all the effort and practice the young women in NCAA have put in, and can see her making a habit of daily practice, at whatever activity she chooses for herself.

The question begs: “Would you invest the same energy into a grandson?” I’ve already answered that question, with the energy put into son’s health, well-being and development. So, yes, each human being put before us is worth the full court press of energy and interest from parents and grandparents alike. Society will be that much further along, if this is taken as seriously as it deserves.

The Slow Death of Subterfuge

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Posted by on in children, collaborating, Community, distraction issues, Family, Historical, impediments, Inspiration, Personal Values, Social, Spiritual, Striving

March 26, 2026- The meeting apparently went relatively well. Credit was given where, and to whom it was due. My daughter-in-law stood her ground and was at least recognized for making a concerted effort to set things right. An attempt, by a less-motivated individual, to shift blame onto their superiors,fell flat. The process will continue tomorrow, but YH’s in-person participation is done, for now. She can focus on her little girl and perhaps get some rest, over the weekend.

The thing that irritates me, a bystander in the whole affair, is the same thing that aggravates about a number of situations: The devaluing of any human being by another, I used to think that this was merely the result of elitism, misdirected cronyism or even narcissism. Yet the more that I recognize put-downs and dismissive comments as largely being reflections of the critic’s self-perception, the more hope I actually have that we, as a species, can move away from subterfuge.

In terms of cosmic energy, a formative civilizational period, of 6000 years, has come to an end. We have gotten all the mileage we are going to get out of one-upmanship , achievement based on cutthroat competition and a zero sum mentality. The Age of Brutus, of Machiavelli and the Borgias, of John Henry Hammond and John D. Rockefeller, even of Donald Trump and Elon Musk, is at an end.

To be sure, we have not seen the literal end of the last two mentioned above, but to have any influence in the emerging civilization that is based on openness, self-awareness and a cooperative mentality, they, and others like them, will have to sharply pivot from all that has sustained their prominence, and be re-born in the same manner as Saul of Tarsus. It worked for Andrew Carnegie, towards the end of the Gilded Age. It might have worked for Woodrow Wilson, had he not suffered that incapacitating stroke

Here at our little home, I will continue to foster a culture of frequent consultation, team planning and celebration of each achievement by any member of the family, no matter how small. Hana’s initiation of “Army crawling” (moving forward on her belly, using her hands and feet, with head raised) is one such cause for joy. Her mother’s soldiering through the rectifying of crisis that was manufactured by the ennui of others is another such cause celebre. Aram may well have climbed another rung on his ladder.

In the life of society, as well as in the life of a family, nature abhors a vacuum. What appears, on the surface, as collapse and chaos, is ever underpinned by an emerging layer of solidarity and certitude. This is what I see happening in our time.

Pushing Off

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Posted by on in children, collaborating, Education, Family, Inspiration, Personal Values, Social, Spiritual, Striving

March 25, 2026- Hana took her first moves forward, this evening. She did this by pushing her feet off against my hands. It marks the first time she has been able to propel herself forward, while on her hands and knees.I look forward to helping her build on this, and seeing her crawl using her hands and feet, very soon.

Every skill I’ve ever mastered has involved a learning curve. It has often been mastered under a modicum of pressure. I’ve made a fair number of mistakes and at times been labeled a slow learner. In the end, though, I’ve been able to perform the task with a fair proficiency. It’s gone best, when I haven’t had a well-meaning family member or friend tell me to “just let an expert take care of it”

That may work when it comes to repairing a car engine or rewiring a house, neither of which I have the least bit of confidence in doing. Other tasks, which I have found interesting, and simple enough to do on my own, have turned out fairly well. I painted the exterior of my house in Phoenix, and got about 2/3 of the way through painting the interior, before the place was caught up in the housing crisis of 2008-9. I cleared the roof of snow, at the school where I worked in Maine, in the winter of 1976-7. I used to do routine maintenance (changing oil & filter, gapping spark plugs, changing belts and hoses) on my cars, before vehicles became computerized. I can do simple plumbing tasks. Athletic skills, even as mediocre as they are, came late in life.

All of which come back to mind, as my granddaughter’s life begins to take root. The skills she acquires in infancy and as a toddler will be achieved in an atmosphere of patience and support. There will be no pressure on this end, only the loving encouragement of three people who have lived through situations in which pressure was applied, by well-meaning but insecure friends and teachers, to get the skill learned quickly.

She will have a solid foundation in confidence building, before heading off to whatever school her parents choose for her. She will push off from a pier of love.

Ninety-Nine

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Posted by on in children, Family, impediments, Inspiration, Personal Values, Social, Spiritual, Striving

March 22, 2026- That is the age my father would have attained, had he lived to now. It’s been nearly forty years since his passing, yet I can envision a world with him, his older brother (who would be 101, in August) and his eldest sister (would have turned 102, in January). They were each fairly conservative in their world views, but they would likely be rather disconcerted at what is being done in the name of the system they each cherished.

Dad believed in the importance of character. He kept his word and expected us to keep ours. When one of us dropped the ball, which for me was more often than I’d like to admit, his admonitions were short and to the quick. He was not a violent man, so corporal punishment was rare. Letting him down was bad enough.

He would have been mildly amused to have seen me struggle with parenting a teenager, but he would be proud of the man Aram has become. He would be concerned with making sure that his great granddaughter was in a stable home-and so far, she is. I have no doubt that this will continue to be the case.

He would also be glad to see the overall size and stability of the family that he and our mother got started. Each of us has made our mark in the world, and none of it has come without struggle. In that respect, we shared his experiences. Our children have also done well, and his great-grandchildren, many of whom are in their teen years, are starting to make their mark in the world.

It has been said, in places, that 99 is a perfect culmination, a place to assess one’s legacy. I would say Ferdinand Joseph Boivin’s legacy is quite solid.

Springing Forward

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Posted by on in children, collaborating, Family, Historical, Inspiration, Matters of Faith, Personal Values, Social, Spiritual, Striving

March 21, 2026- Hana came into the world with winter, being born on the December Solstice, last year. It was a day later than usual, but that worked for my granddaughter. Early this morning, as her second season began, she turned over, from her back to her belly, and quickly turned her head to her left, as her father came over to see what had happened. I watched it all on the monitor in my bedroom, glad to have been in on the milestone.

Today is Naw-Ruz, which for Baha’is begins a new spiritual year. Iranians, Tajiks and Pashtuns have celebrated Naw-Ruz (“New Day”) for over 3000 years, since the Dispensation of Zoroaster. In the latter tradition, it is a twelve-day celebration. For Baha’is, it is this one day, and our local community gathered at Plano Baha’i Center, a spacious and lovely facility, for two hours of readings, songs, a Q & A game for children and youth and a large, delectable spread.

What was most heartening about this gathering is that, when children under 12 were presented with gifts by the Spiritual Assembly, and there were more kids than gifts, the children made sure that each of their fellows had a gift, even if it meant dividing up a whole gift. One girl was given a snack wand and, since her brother already had a wand, she gave hers to a girl who had a small bag of chocolates. The second girl brought over half of her chocolates to share with the first.

Ours is one of the strongest models for a society which is now struggling. It remains, though, a matter of acquiring knowledge, adopting volition and taking action. This is the bounty given to every person, in these days of confusion and disruption. I invite anyone reading this to check http://www.bahai.org.

Happy Equinox!

Re-assessing and renaming

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Posted by on in children, Community, Family, impediments, Inner Struggles, Matters of Faith, Personal Values, service, Social, Spiritual, Striving

March 19,2026- I propose, as some others already have, renaming the commemorative, unofficial holiday known as Cesar Chaves Day, National Farmworkers Day. Juneteenth is, rightfully, a Federal holiday; so should there be a day to honour all farmworkers. How many of us chowhounds would willingly pick potatoes and carrots all day long? How many would work the fields picking melons and strawberries? Even emptying trees of citrus fruit, apple, peaches and pears is backbreaking work!

A social justice movement is far more than the one or two who are its public face. I prefer to call the January holiday that has been focused on Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr., Civil Rights Day. As much admiration and respect as I have for Dr. King, he himself would have been the first to say he was not a perfect individual. He had his lusts and pitfalls, though he has never been accused of such atrocities as those or which his contemporary, Cesar Chavez, has been posthumously charged.

The revelations documented in the New York Times illustrate the folly of adulation. Small children idolize their parents and grandparents. As they get older, they learn of their elders’ imperfections. Hopefully, they continue to love those elders, but they will know that they are not amidst living saints.Along those lines, we were wise, as a nation, to recast George Washington’s Birthday as Presidents Day- honouring at least those whose terms in office added luster to the nation’s history and offering a fair assessment of those whose terms did not.

Cesar Chavez apparently gave in to the worst elements of the culture in which he was raised, compounded by the bright lights and hero’s welcomes he received. It will be a step forward, for any future leaders, to transcend the impulse of feeling that there are lesser human beings, who owe them favours for what they have achieved.

There are no lesser human beings.

Bloodlines

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Posted by on in Assistance, children, collaborating, Community, Family, Historical, impediments, Personal Values, Social, Spiritual, Striving

March 17, 2026- Today being St. Patrick’s Day, my thoughts go to the Irish heritage on both my mother’s and father’s sides. The Kusches, who hailed from Szcezcin, Poland, back when it was Stettin, Pomerania, ended up in St; Louis and Chicago, by the mid-19th Century. Papa Kusch journeyed east, as a young man, and became a shoemaker in Boston, and a small farmer in Saugus. Before they were Kusches, though, they were Cooks-in the area around Wexford, Ireland. Poverty, and the Hanseatic League’s allure, brought them to the Baltic shores. The family was proud of having been prosperous in Germany, and in the Midwest, and I heard little about our Irish roots, but I always felt a draw to the Emerald Isle. Mom had me pledge to look into her side of the family, when we talked of the genealogy that my Dad’s older brother had compiled. I thought that meant going to Pomerania, but last summer’s visit to Wexford, and nearby Rosslare, brief as it was, introduced me to a few people who looked strikingly like my mother and aunts. I later learned their family name was Cook. Part of me wants to go back and spend more time there, but that will need to wait.

My granddaughter will have far taller order, should she ever want to check out her roots. Half of her bloodline is Korean, and there are probably some Chinese ancestors. going way back. The other half is Heinz 57: German, English, Irish, French, Penobscot, Jewish, Lithuanian, Romanian, and Scottish. Her present and near term well-being, though, has me refocusing my energies. The journeys I undertake in the foreseeable future are all along the paths of introducing a little soul to the wider world.

That brings me to a separate point. There was once, at a Baha’i-sponsored conference in Florida, a zone set aside for protesters. Neo-Nazis and Black Separatists found themselves next to one another, in that small zone. There are, on both the Far Right and Far Left, those who today preach the credo of division. The truth about human relations is “whatever we say it is”, and any who call for reconciliation between ethnic groups or “racial” entities are accused of clinging to outmoded, discarded concepts. I beg to differ: It is the very divisions to which they cling that are outmoded, counterproductive and dangerous. Clothing them in academic jargon, or using tones of ridicule, do nothing to bring a longed-for peace. I have to wonder if peace is even what they want- or is conflict more alluring?

Regardless, as Hana and others of her generation show, bloodlines are no respecters of truly outmoded ideologies.