Category Archives: Family

The Road to Diamond, Day 85: Worn Out Phrases

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Posted by on in collaborating, Community, distraction issues, Family, impediments, Inspiration, Personal Values, Social, Spiritual, Striving

February 21, 2025- “Woke” is worn out. So are “MAGA”,”DOGE”; and “Long live the king”. For that matter, “DEI” could use a vacation-as a slogan. Abraham Lincoln said “A house divided against itself cannot stand”. A country is like a house and for that matter, so is the human race.

Let’s look at the above-mentioned words and acronyms. Woke is the past tense of To Wake. It is also a term, taken from the Ebonics spoken by enslaved African-Americans and their descendants, to mean “aware of surroundings”,”paying attention”, and so on. That’s all it means and being “woke” does not, in and of itself, make one superior to all others. It just means that one is not easily fooled.

MAGA-“Make America Great Again”-catchy phrase, this-if one has been fooled into thinking that the change which this and other countries have been undergoing, in a time of global ferment, is somehow foreign to the human experience and thus should be resisted and counteracted. The United States of America has achieved several measures of greatness, precisely because of our diversity. White, male capital has needed the polyglot work force to bring its dreams into fruition. An educated work force is far more productive than a conglomerate of human oxen. This is one reason why Andrew Carnegie, no egalitarian by any means, nonetheless saw fit to relegate a hefty part of his fortune to a system of free public libraries, which became a model for such institutions the world over. The United States of America has never stopped being great. There is no “again”.

DOGE-“Department of Government Efficiency”: Here, we have taken our penchant for compartmentalizing aspects of our collective being to the next level. Efficiency, the good stewardship of what we are given, is somehow to be viewed as separate from every other element of our being. My parents, grandparents, parents-in-law- in short, everyone who survived the Depression, and before that, the Civil War, Reconstruction, Gilded Age, World War I, Influenza of 1918-must be spinning about, underground, to the extent that a 9.0 may be in the offing!

Every day of my formative years, I was told to count my dollars and cents, to know how much I earned per newspaper I delivered and to look about for further opportunities. I was taught to plan my day, each morning and to take stock of what had transpired, at day’s end. Efficiency has never been separate from any other aspect, of any enterprise that I have ever seen be successful. It falls to every entity to practice efficiency, in and of itself. We compartmentalize at our peril.

“Long live the king!”- That’s fine for Charles III or for Sultan, of Saudi Arabia. Kingship is their job. In a constitutional republic, kingship is a ludicrous proposition-even if the term is tossed out half in jest. No one man, or woman, can carry on alone. The above-mentioned monarchs know this-and thus, each has his Cabinet, his Prime Minister/Crown Prince, Parliament/Council of Elders. Only a lunatic actually believes in his own omnipotence. Shakespeare wrote King Lear, in reflecting on the reign of Henry VIII, for this very reason. No one of good will wishes death upon another person, but long life does not need to feature untrammeled obedience from one’s fellows.

DEI: Diversity, Equity, Inclusion. When I was 17, I was taken aback, momentarily, by the sight of a person of colour in a small rural community in Massachusetts. Looking back, it is obvious how silly my reaction was. This planet has been a diverse community since Day One of living things. Sameness doesn’t exist in nature. It does exist in monoculture, to an extent, and we can see that monoculture ends up choking itself out of existence, in fairly short order.

Why, then, should we pursue either a forced uniformity or a contrived, artificial diversity? The former brought about the latter, true-but it is time to relegate both to the scrap heap, and let mature humans pursue their natural inclination towards diversity. This means allowing all who seek to join in a given activity or enterprise, the chance to take part. Inclusion is a natural process, not a feature of statute, to be enforced by fiat.

Equity? When my parents were raising us, my youngest brother needed things that the rest of us did not He was given what he needed, to the best of our parents’ ability to provide. I did not begrudge him this. He, in turn, was not given driving lessons, or expected to get a part-time job, in his teen years. Opening the way for a human being to meet individual or small group needs is not discrimination against all others. Helping People of Colour to overcome, in specific ways, the effects of institutionalized bias is not a travesty. It is true that none of us alive today are responsible for establishing elements of bias. Why, then, do we act like we have such vested interest in them?

DEI, as doctrine, should not even be necessary. Nor should MAGA, or DOGE, or rule by fiat. In this day, each of us is responsible for living an integrated, well-balanced life. Why, then, do we choose to compartmentalize?

The Road to Diamond, Day 58: True North, ’25

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Posted by on in Assistance, collaborating, Family, Inspiration, Matters of Faith, Personal Values, service, Social, Spiritual, Striving, Travel

January 25, 2025- It is finally getting cold here in Home Base I, the sort of bone-chilling cold that foreshadows a snowstorm. That storm is expected here, sometime between Sunday evening and Tuesday morning. I will be elsewhere during that time- largely in the air, or in airports: Phoenix, Los Angeles, Hong Kong, Manila. Tuesday morning here will be the early morning hours, Wednesday, in Metro Manila. It will not be cold, and probably not wet.

I have received nothing but good wishes from friends here, and sense only good energy coming from the Philippines. My dear one, and our mutual friends, will believe that I am coming, when I get there, and send out the first messages on the ground. I have now gone back and forth so many times, that they who have largely spent their lives in one area have lost count.

Our True North, however, is the same. The Divine Spirit has gotten me from A to B, and back, countless times-even in 1971, when I was barely alive, spiritually, and all the more so, over the past four decades. It is that Spirit which kept Penny and I physically safe when our vehicle’s engine died, on a bridge above I-10 in Phoenix and again during the evening commute, in downtown Glendale, when I was pushing the car to a safe spot off a main street, while she watched from the safety of a sidewalk. It was that Spirit that landed me in this small and cozy apartment, when the house I was minding needed to be sold, eleven years ago this coming April. It is that Spirit that is bringing me back to Luzon for the third time, in less than two years.

It the same Spirit that has safeguarded two trusted friends here and kept each of them in home and hearth, despite limited circumstances. It keeps another little family, well north of here, in a tiny but sturdy house, as their grand-matriarch finds work wherever she can. It keeps my own little family in safe surroundings and guides them safely through times that could be far more uncertain. It sees my dear one and her family free from harm.

Each of us has had our share of harrowing situations, and will face them again, in times to come. It is our True North that will provide the way forward, each time.

The Road to Diamond, Day 40: Cherishing

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Posted by on in Assistance, children, collaborating, Community, Education, Family, Historical, Matters of Faith, Personal Values, Service Activities, Social, Spiritual, Striving, Travel

January 7, 2025- The animated teacher spoke of a calamitous event in our nation’s recent history. He wanted to remind the adolescent students, themselves only vaguely aware of that particular incident, just how fleeting such memories can be, and how easily they can be manipulated by those with ulterior motives. This conversation will continue tomorrow, and perhaps for several more days.

The freedom we have in this country is worth cherishing. So are the love and friendship that have been built, sometimes over decades. So are the gifts that the Divine has imparted to each of us. I thought of these things all day, as once again, I was placed in a setting where I could focus on one or two students at a time, and key in on the boy or girl and specific needs. I will do this for the next two days, as well. Part of the task is to support the teachers in their explanations and foci. Thus do I go forward.

In an evening orientation, for a Baha’i family who are moving to one of the Native American communities where Penny, Aram and I once lived, I also focused on what is cherished by First Nations people. There are friends in that area who I have not seen for several years and others from whom I hear, every so often. The reality, though, is that were I to return to the place, I would be at least welcomed by some, as if I had never left. That is what I wish for this new family, provided they open their hearts to the people.

I will likewise always cherish the friendships I have made here in the Prescott area, over nearly fifteen years. Regardless of what transpires, these next several months, this will always be a Home Base of my heart. The same will be true of the Philippines, no matter how things turn out on my next visit.

Life is for the cherishing, not for the expectancy.

The Road to Diamond, Day 39: Institutional

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Posted by on in children, collaborating, Community, Education, Family, Inspiration, Personal goals, Personal Values, Service Activities, Social, Spiritual, Striving

January 6, 2025- The day in Washington came and went, with scarcely a murmur. The will of the people, albeit by way of plurality, was acknowledged and for the second time in our nation’s history, the losing standard bearer of a major party was the person certifying the election of a rival. Albert Gore, Jr. did that very thing, on 1/6/01 and Kamala Harris did so today. The institution of the American republic, a form of democracy, was the winner.

It made me think of other institutions: Parenthood, grandparenthood, marriage, community, corporation, formal education, personhood. Each has its rules and practices, which are its underpinnings. Those who challenge any one of the institutions, on its face, are exhibiting an inclination towards mayhem. That does not mean that the institution should be impervious to change. Our Constitution is replete with the amendment process, for the very reason that the government of 1788, or 1861, cannot possibly address all the needs of 2025. Familial institutions, likewise, have the duty to their members, to regularly communicate across the roles of parent, spouse, child, sibling-and even grandparent, so that the personhood of any given member is not trampled or sacrificed.

In the institution of the school, there is a trust between teacher and student. Today, my role as substitute teacher was a special position of trust: A new semester, a new term, was starting. The regular teacher had a last minute emergency, and though today was the start of a major activity, his life had to take its course. I was able to dust off the cobwebs of my technological savvy and get the basic activities started. The task in question was a vocational education exercise, which will last for two weeks. Those who recognized its import-the majority of students, thankfully, set themselves to the task, some choosing to work in small groups and others on their own. Thus are the members of one institution, the school, beginning to prepare for membership in another, the workforce.

It remains my honour to offer support to institutions, holding up their traditions when the good of the order warrants and working to effect change, when the converse is true.

The Road to Diamond, Day 38: Cycles

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Posted by on in collaborating, Community, Family, Inspiration, Matters of Faith, Personal goals, Personal Values, Social, Spiritual, Striving, Travel

January 5, 2025- I have listened to two very different takes on this calendar year. The one, of which I wrote yesterday, was made with a hokey presentation but came across as very hopeful, though it involved other galaxies and beings of questionable status. The second, made by a cosmic advisor who is very much grounded in reality, pointed out that this is a year of simultaneous endings of old relationships and processes, and beginnings of new ones. 2024 was certainly a dress rehearsal for that, with the passing of my mother and several longtime friends. The speaker this morning said to remain grounded in a strong soulship, and not to be depressed or downhearted by any rapid changes in relationships, even if they are with those dearly loved. Other relationships and processes will replace those that end. Most importantly, she said it was never necessary to channel energy externally. All the strength one needs is within.

I reflected on my life up to now, not in a rigid decade-by-decade manner, but in terms of actual cycles. 1950-1964 was a time of firsts, and of thinking that I didn’t deserve a whole lot. So, when I did get nice things, I used them for a short time, then set them aside, except my books and records. Bicycles, weight sets, even a junior chemistry set, all were used just a bit, then set aside in the closet or downstairs, or in the case of the bikes-given to my siblings. I didn’t think I deserved friends, and so spent much time alone. It wasn’t until that became counterproductive, in eighth grade, that I started to rethink the matter.

1964-1968, the high school years, was a time of discovering the love I had for other people. Though I still regarded myself as unworthy (a sense that would be my shadow until fairly recently), grades were kept up, school events like dances drew me out and I worked at a job or two, with minimal success.

1969-1980 was a period of self-loathing. I functioned, but just barely, serving in a position of fair responsibility in the U.S. Army; earning Associate and Bachelor Degrees, being in the middle of my class in each; and working at both teaching and a smattering of part-time jobs, while still not exactly excelling at any of them.

1981-1997 was a high water mark. I earned a Master’s Degree, met and married my first true love, sired and raised a child, and actually made a difference in my professional work. Much of this came about because I embraced the Baha’i Faith, and in turn, embraced sobriety. The self-loathing was still there, but kept under wraps.

1998-2013 found me floundering again. My beloved was suffering and in declining health, and I was facing my own demons, though maintaining sobriety, helping our son navigate adolescence and fend off those who wanted to hurt him, and acting as my wife’s caretaker. Jobs came and went, but substitute teaching was my saving grace, and kept us with food on the table and a roof over our heads. For two years after Penny died, my struggles continued, until I finally began to regard myself as worthy of true self-respect.

2014-2024 has been another period of rising. I have rediscovered our country and the world, established genuine friendships and gained the respect of those who knew me when. Public service, mostly volunteer work, has helped me feel like a worthy part of a community. Most importantly, though, my self-loathing is gone. In maturity, I have faced down five people who tried to take away my self-esteem and embraced those who truly have my best interests at heart.

This year finds me at a crossroads. Someone dear to me may, or may not, be part of my future. She has her own path to follow. Either way, I am in a good place and am ready for whatever comes-continuity or seismic change. Never again will I blame myself, or anyone else, for what comes to pass. Everyone is on a journey all their own, and each deserves support from the others.

I briefly considered including Frank Sinatra’s song, “Cycles”, with this post. It doesn’t quite sum up my mood though. Instead, here’s Bruce Springsteen’s “The Rising”.

The Road to Diamond, Day 36: Downsized

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Posted by on in collaborating, Community, Family, Inspiration, Personal goals, Personal Values, Social, Spiritual, Striving

January 3, 2025- The first box of books went to Prescott Public Library’s “Friends of the Library” book sale. A second box will go there, either tomorrow, or Monday, after work. Some other books will be offered to a friend and still others will go to my little family, when I visit them in April.

It takes a lot for this lifelong bibliophile to let go of any literary work. Storage and shipping, though, are reality checks-and if a oenophile I know and love can let go of a wine collection, I can do the same with my books. Other items will also be dispensed-either donated or sold at a discount, by the end of April.

To be clear, I remain in good health, so a curtain call is not the reason for this shedding. It’s the energy that says a move is in the air. Whether to one place or to another is still to be determined, but the call is getting more insistent. I’m happy in Home Base I, yet there is much more to do, on a wider scale. Details will be released as I get a clearer sense.

As for today, I visited another place where the staff seem unified and appreciated: Theodore’s Fine Foods, a bagel and croissant eatery that has moved into a corner lot that has had problems retaining its tenants, since a long-time restaurateur retired in 2014. T’s looks like it will be successful. Its bagel sandwich menu is small, but imaginative, and I enjoyed a Turkish bagel with sofra sausage. T’s sweet treats include a cruffin, which is a croissant muffin, that has a custard filling. The place was quite full while I was there, affirming that it is making a go of success.

My soon-to-be minimalist status in Prescott will nonetheless continue on a cheerful and welcomed note.

The Road to Diamond, Day 33: It Wasn’t a Rainbow That Ended

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Posted by on in collaborating, Community, Family, impediments, Inspiration, Matters of Faith, Personal goals, Personal Values, Social, Spiritual, Striving, Travel

December 31, 2024- When I was around nine or ten, Fad would amuse us, on car trips, by going fast up a hill and over the crest, which would lead to an excited sensation on the way down. The roller coaster-like feeling was something that made my sister and I encourage him to keep doing it. He did, for a while, and then resumed being an adult, showing us that there is a time to be jovial and a time to be focused.

Life has been that way each year since. 2024 was a year of consummate gladness-My son finishing his baccalaureate studies and preparing to re-enter the work force; my being able to spend time with family in Massachusetts, Maine, Pennsylvania and Texas; visiting friends in California, Nevada, Texas, Illinois, Indiana, Pennsylvania, Nova Scotia, Newfoundland, British Columbia, Washington and Oregon; making new connections in St. Pierre & Miquelon and in each of the aforementioned places; and making deeper friendships in the Philippines.

There was a lot of loss this year, as well: My mother, our family’s rock for so many decades, rejoined her husband, parents, siblings and youngest son, marking an end to her physical chapter of 95 years, 9 months and 20 days. Three strong women of faith- Marcia Brehmer, Michele Smith and Lynne Elliott, also went back to their Lord, after doing their level best to teach their families and friends to love one another-and to love humanity, without exception. Four men- Joe Landrigan, Verne Rupright, Johnny Murphy and Lennie Maes, seminal figures from my youth, who served their country and went on to live lives of quiet distinction, answered their final call of duty. The nation, and the world, said goodbye to former U.S. President Jimmy Carter, to freedom fighter Alexei Navalny and to artists Donald Sutherland, Melanie Safka, Nikki Giovanni, James Earl Jones, Chita Rivera, Dame Maggie Smith, Kris Kristofferson, Toby Keith and Quincy Jones.

Our rainbows soared, and came back to their bases, this past year. I gained the ability to more firmly navigate these peaks and valleys, knowing that there is so much more to do, so many questions left to be answered and so many challenges that may yet arise. The year now ending has brought me strength.

The Road to Diamond, Day 30: Whimsy and Well-Being

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Posted by on in Assistance, distraction issues, Family, impediments, Inner Struggles, Inspiration, Matters of Faith, Personal Values, Service Activities, Social, Spiritual, Striving, Travel

December 28, 2024- I have had pipe dreams, throughout my life. I once fantasized about walking across the globe. Then, I read of various women and men, including Paul Salopek (who is still at it), and thought of all I would be leaving behind, if I set out on such a venture. At the age of 74, doing such a thing would be little more than performance art. Other whimsies involved the Colorado Fourteeners (peaks that are 14 K feet or above); traveling from Utgiagvik (formerly Barrow), Alaska to Cabo de Hornos, Chile; the Appalachian, Continental Divide and Pacific Crest Trails and, for a few fleeting moments, Uelen, eastern Siberia to Cape Agulhas, South Africa.

As the years have passed, I found fulfillment in “lesser” pursuits. I have traveled a lot, yes, but with more of a purpose. Mainly, I found that being closer to family, taking part in a community over time and serving my Faith were more satisfying than always being alone. I learned from nearly thirty years of marriage-thirteen of which were spent caring for Penny, to one extent or another, that life never feels fulfilling, unless there is a deep connection with another soul. She’s been physically gone for nearly fourteen years, but is not gone. I sense her spiritual hand is behind my meeting another love, little more than a year ago. I got a message from K this morning, in fact. She’s as busy as I am, each in our own Home Base. It could come to pass that we have the same Home Base, but we’ll see.

My main reason for not being preoccupied with the stuff of whimsy, though, is that this is the age of working for peace, through group efforts. I’ve done more good this way. Even going through the torment that accompanied watching the declines of my first two loves (Mother and Penny) is preferable to living a dissolute existence. So will my work continue.

The Road to Diamond, Day 23: Longest and Darkest

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Posted by on in Assistance, children, collaborating, Community, Family, impediments, Inspiration, Matters of Faith, Personal Values, Social, Spiritual, Striving

December 21, 2024- When love is freely given them, the children always love back.

Six little girls danced continuously, as the family band, Galactogogues served up the contents of their 13-song album. When the tempo was fast and vibrant, the children pranced, tumbled and bounced around the dance floor, under the watchful eyes of their mothers and grandmothers. When the music was quiet and subdued, the girls offered rather elegant interpretive steps. (The aging security guard glared and grumbled, but that’s another story.) There was love between parents and children.

I thought of the times when my generation’s youthful energy alternately got approval and admonition, from our elders. The same happened when my son’s generation did things that were harmless and delightful, or when they came close to harm’s way. Invariably, the generations understood each other, because underneath it all, there was love.

Today, in the northern hemisphere, featured the longest and darkest night. Here, it was a thing of beauty. The stars twinkled above, and there was a sense of camaraderie among the fans of Galactogogues. The band played all our favourites from its various club dates of the past five years and a few new tunes from the Bohrman’s son and daughter. At the end of the evening, as Meg Bohrman credited her children, Cosimo and Opal, and percussionist friend, Zach Dominguez, Opal did not let her mother go uncredited. When love is freely given them, the children always love back.

Far across the Pacific, another family reunited, a few days ago. I know the mother. She gives enormously of herself, for the sake of each of her three children. They, in turn, are protective of her as well. The same hold with yours truly, and my little family. We are a unit built on love.

When love is freely given them, the children always love back.

Here is the family, about ten years ago, offering their reworking of “Will The Circle Be Unbroken?”

The Road to Diamond, Day 20: Watchful

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Posted by on in collaborating, Community, Family, impediments, Inspiration, Personal Values, Social, Spiritual, Striving

December 18, 2024- I have been asked by a few people whether I am nervous about the Stock Market, in December. No, actually; I am more amused by the knee-jerk behaviour, “Close to Christmas? Let’s unload!” No one over the age of 50, who has done anything right financially, is going to enter a swooning contest over the end-of-year follies. We wait until January, and we go on.

I remain more watchful of those who make outlandish promises. The more promises they make and the larger their constituency, the closer an eye I keep on them. Of course, as the smarter ones walk back their more outlandish gift items, my relaxation meter goes up accordingly.

I am grateful for my loved ones who are watchful of me, as well. Penny always kept me on the straight and narrow, as long as she was cognitively able. My little family and siblings weigh in, when they feel the necessity. My best friend now is not shy about speaking out, when she sees a possible mistake coming.

So, while getting ready for delightful holidays, let us all relax-while keeping an eye on things that may really get in the way of the Season-and stay in support of one another.