Category Archives: Family

The Road to Diamond, Day 253: Relevance

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Posted by on in Assistance, children, collaborating, Community, Family, Personal Values, Social, Spiritual, Striving

August 8, 2025- Today is seen by some as a portal. Being the eighth day of the eighth Gregorian month is seen as conferring connection to other energy realms. I can’t say that I understand it all, but I have felt some extra spiritual strength today. Things that may have bothered me yesterday no longer have any bearing.

Well, there’s that. On an entirely different note, a young lady whose worldview is at variance with those of her contemporaries has stated that she believes a woman’s place is in the home. Now, I happen to hold the view that a person, regardless of sex, is free to pursue whatever calling that appeals to her/his strengths, interests and dreams. That means that a woman can pursue a career in astrophysics, truck mechanics, accounting, medicine-or homemaking. A woman could serve competently as President of the United States, or she could serve competently in raising eight children. She could also do both. Indeed, this same young lady is currently seeking election to the Arizona State Senate.
Now, she is still figuring things out, so it is perfectly fine, in my book, for her to express a desire to follow two different career paths. She could, alongside a dedicated partner, be a career government official AND an exemplary parent. Conversely, I have a good friend who raised an exemplary young woman, without any help from a partner. That may be the exception to the rule, but she is there for others to note. That same young woman, in turn, is raising two wonderful children-albeit alongside a devoted husband and father.

Family will always be a basic building block of society. Parenthood will never be irrelevant. Neither will following dreams, based on one’s innate skill sets and personal dreams, so long as those are beneficial to society, and not detracting from the upbringing of any child(ren) one brings into the world.

The Road to Diamond, Day 251: Hope and A Semi-Recluse

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Posted by on in collaborating, Community, Family, Inspiration, Personal Values, service, Social, Spiritual, Striving

August 6, 2025- I’ve largely stayed in, the past two days, both because of heat and because my schedule is not that busy, this week. I have focused on things like culling my e-mails (2011-2020) and household things-and reading. It almost feels like a throwback to summer in Phoenix, but this is only for few days. The weekend, and next week, will be back to busy-ness.

I have thrived, the past fourteen years, on empathy and commitment to communities, near and far. Some who are in the ascendancy have said that empathy is a weakness of our society. Hope is seen as for suckers. These tenets might work for them in accomplishing short term goals, but I think, deep down, they know that the gig will be up, sooner rather than later.

Empathy and hope are what drive communities. They are what keep families and larger social units together. They are what make even time alone feel less than empty, knowing that humanity is just outside, waiting. They are strengths, not flaws.

The Road to Diamond, Day 249: Passages

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Posted by on in Assistance, collaborating, Community, Family, impediments, Inspiration, Matters of Faith, Personal Values, service, Social, Spiritual, Striving, Travel

August 4, 2025- Another cancer patient of long-suffering winged his flight to the Spirit Realm, this morning, as I was preparing for a day of service. Like my friend who died yesterday, this man had been receiving the emotional, spiritual and material support of many, who were hoping against hope for a cure. Like my friend, he was simply suffering too much and called to the Divine for release.

Each day brings a passage of sorts to each of us. One either gets stronger, or weaker, or holds the line, in the course of the passage. Each change in body, mind and spirit happens according to which life lessons have been absorbed by the soul. Sometimes, as the body has earned its rest, the spirit goes on to a higher realm. Other times, as there are still life lessons to be absorbed and actions that must be taken by the individual, physical life continues. This is my limited understanding of the process.

I, like Robert Frost’s protagonist, in “Stopping By Woods On A Snowy Evening”, “have promises to keep, and miles to go before I sleep”. The promises kept today were serving as Blood Donor Ambassador at a Red Cross drive in Prescott Valley and serving at the Monday evening Soup Kitchen. There will be several others, locally, that encompass this month. September and October’s promises go further afield; November’s will be fulfilled back here; December’s will be a mix; next year’s fall between the Philippines, Texas and Arizona. “Promise not that which ye don’t fulfill”.

We essentially engage in passages, so that those who paved the way for us might feel fulfilled and those who are following after us might see an illumined path. If I can do both, this life will continue to be well worth each day. My forebears watch from the next world and my progeny look on expectantly. I feel a lot of encouraging energy.

The Road to Diamond, Day 221: Prince Among Dragons

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Posted by on in Assistance, children, collaborating, Community, Family, impediments, Inspiration, Personal goals, Personal Values, Social, Spiritual, Striving

July 7, 2025- Thirty seven years ago, when that was also my age, a little boy was brought into the world, in the midst of a Year of the Dragon (Chinese zodiacal figuring). Since we were living in South Korea at the time, there was much ribbing from my colleagues about this being the outcome of a “dragon dream”, all the more auspicious because of the year we were in.

People born in that year are said “to be ambitious, confident and charismatic. They possess an abundance of energy and enthusiasm while also displaying exceptional intelligence and power. They are naturally lucky and gifted, often accomplishing their endeavours with exceptional standards of excellence.” Son certainly has grown into embracing all of these traits, and has kept a high bar for himself, especially over the past twelve years.

Soon, he will assume the role of fatherhood. I hope he leaves me in the dust, in that department, and in just about every other facet of life. A mutual friend commented, yesterday, that wanting a child to excel over the accomplishments of parents is the hallmark of parental love. That certainly is an admirable goal. Here’s this grandfather’s take: Let the child absolutely soar. Son wants the same for his daughter-and for any other child who may come along.

For now, he is focused on doing the best possible job, in each facet of his life. That is all I can ever ask. He is indeed a prince among “dragons”.

The Road to Diamond, Day 219: The Fan, The Fury Gusts and The Waters of Hell

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Posted by on in children, collaborating, Community, Family, Personal Values, Social, Spiritual, Striving

July 5, 2025- As I waited behind mother and child, to get a cold drink during the Rodeo Parade outside, the baby decided to show me the portable battery-powered (and baby-finger-proof) fan that was keeping her cool. She reveled in the cool breeze it provided, taking care to lift it at the base and keep its flow directed at her face. There was a definite look of satisfaction, that she was doing this herself.

After the parade ended, I headed to Farmers Market, for our customary breakdown of tents and weights. One of the tents is “Feed Your Neighbors”, which provides food boxes to the needy. As I prepared to take the tent down, a gust of wind came from the east and took the form of an updraft, lifting the tent, even while the stone and steel weights were still attached. Two men working nearby rushed over and helped me remove the weights and take down the tent. A Market officer came over and also helped with the final take down.

While that was going on, a second gust of wind also became an updraft, lifting a second tent, weights and all, clear to where a vendor’s car was parked. The car was slightly scratched and its windshield caught a star, as the projectile came to rest. Fortunately, none of the five people in the area were struck. That was our experience at Prescott Farmers Market, this afternoon.

A little over 1,000 miles to the southeast, hell had broken loose, in the form of a stationary front that caused the Guadalupe River, at Kerrville, to rise 20 feet in less than two hours. Children’s summer camps and RV parks along the river bank were inundated, people and vehicles were swept away and families were shattered, in what will register as a signal tragedy of the entire year. Eighty people have been confirmed dead so far, with as many as 41 people still missing.

This has given pause to the stated plans for dismantling the Federal Emergency Management Agency-as well it should. The elements are no respecter of budgets, spread sheets and ideologies. In this time of natural flux, woe be unto anyone who pulls the plug on community response to hurricanes, tornadoes, wildfires, flash floods and earthquakes. I read the stories of those people, mostly young girls, whose lives were snuffed out and I crumble. I also read that this is making an impression on the President of the United States. Please, God, may it be so.

In about 5-6 months, my first grandchild is due to come into this world. I pray for her well-being, every morning. Once she is here, there is nothing this grandfather will not do to help her grow in health, strength and safety. My heart goes out to all those whose memories of their children are all they have left.

The Road to Diamond, Day 214: Proactive

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Posted by on in Assistance, collaborating, Family, Inner Struggles, Inspiration, Personal Values, Social, Spiritual, Striving

June 30,2025- A year ago, I was sitting aside the woman who gave me life, as she took her last breath. The moment was a bookend. She had worked very hard to make sure that I survived a rough birth, and that I overcame many obstacles, some self-imposed, in order to at least enjoy a long and fairly well-lived life. Her overriding instructions were “Don’t take yourself too seriously” and “Stay ahead of the game”. Mom’s approval mattered far more than either of us sometimes realized, and the struggles I had with self and others, over the year, largely were brought to a close when I reverted to what she had tried to instill, so often and so selflessly, over the decades.

I can never think of a time when her rejoinder “Poor baby” was callous or misplaced. A child of the Depression, who lost her father to cancer in its midst, and saw her four oldest brothers off to war, in the 1940s, and her younger brother as well, in the Korean conflict, was nonetheless shaken when I headed off to VietNam, for what was a mercifully non-troubling ten months of rear echelon duty. She was a paragon of persistence.

In a generally love-filled marriage, that lasted 37 years, she would often find herself facing her fears about her youngest son, alone. It took some constant communication to get her loved ones to understand just how much she wanted for the little boy, who became a disabled man. We each grew into compassionate adults, who would ourselves fight for the well-being of the least among us-and who would give anything for our children and, in my siblings’ cases, grandchildren. I know the latter now, anticipating a grandchild’s birth with a heart that is bursting with love.

Mom is now with so many of the souls she loved, and is looking out for the rest of us. I can count several times, in the past year, when there has been that one extra push to get me over the threshold. It has made some rather tall orders shrink down to hurdle level.

I only hope I have continued to make her proud. God knows, a reciprocal pride has welled in me, for as long as I can remember.

The Road to Diamond, Day 209: Not One Dimensional

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Posted by on in Assistance, collaborating, Community, Education, Family, impediments, Inner Struggles, Inspiration, Personal Values, Social, Spiritual, Striving

June 25, 2025- The day saw me in three states of being. Morning started, foggy-headed and with an appeal for help, from a family that was in a situation similar to the one in which we found ourselves in the late 2000s. I am eternally grateful to family members who helped out, back then. The best way I can still re-pay them is to help this present destitute family, while maintaining the expectation that they make their own case, as we had to after a fashion. So, food was put on the table and a road map was given towards it not becoming a constant appeal.

When I was younger, say, in my twenties, it was easy to look upon people in a one or two dimensional manner. No matter how often Mom said to not judge a book by its cover, the boy saw girls as potential mates and little else. (Thankfully, the decent part of me never pushed the physical aspect of that mindset. “No” was woe, but never was confused with “go”.) The student had a tinge of condescension towards the worker, until a working man turned the tables one day. I took a hard line towards those who did not toe society’s line-even as I had several motes in my own eyes. On the other hand, there was self-loathing.

By mid-day, I had regained equilibrium. The family’s needs were met and I caught up with a few lingering Red Cross tasks from yesterday. I was not feeling fog-headed and was thus able to plan for the rest of the day, and for tomorrow’s work day. I remembered that the fog was mainly from having had an overactive mind, in the middle of the night, mainly dreaming about lightning and rain, neither of which will get here until the middle of next week.

Evening came, with a Baha’i planning session and light supper. A brief afternoon nap had dispelled the fog and my attention was where it need to be-noting important points on the document being studied.

Any given day can bring energy phases, especially in the heat. Any given day can also bring reminder that no person is one or even two dimensional. Each of us is therefore entitled to some grace, when stumbling or when pretending that hubris will solve problems. Each of us is allowed to learn from mistakes and to grow. The only thing that doesn’t get a pass for very long is standing still.

The Road to Diamond, Day 208: Simulation

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Posted by on in collaborating, Community, distraction issues, Education, Family, impediments, Inner Struggles, Inspiration, Personal Values, Service Activities, Social, Spiritual, Striving

June 24,2025- I was the “client” in today’s simulation of a Red Cross response to a house fire. My role was as the head of a large family, which I made up. The purpose was to train four volunteers in the procedures of a Disaster Action Team, taking information for the organization’s assistance to house fire victims. I was there primarily to support the instructor, so taking the role of “victim” seemed the right way to do this. House fires constitute the most frequent theater for a Red Cross response-more than Blood Drives or disaster shelters. Red Cross volunteers are there for people at what is a profoundly personal time of need. Their most important material anchor, their home has been damaged or destroyed, and in most such instances, they and their loved ones are the sole victims. Red Cross can offer assistance for temporary shelter, transport and food, connections with recovery services, personal counseling and basic health care. That aid is no simulation.

Earlier in the day, I attended another meeting that was more concerned with local affairs, in the time of straitened circumstances. While I was waiting for the others to show up, I noted the presence of a man whose personal philosophy is rather medieval. He started, several years ago, questioning big government. That, in itself, is not a bad thing. Yet, several simulations and rabbit hole explorations later, he is unable to keep from questioning even the most basic physics. Gravity itself is not spared, and those who see planets as spheres are viewed by him as dupes. He himself has become a means of gratuitous entertainment to a fair number of people, and little else. More’s the pity.

After the meeting, which briefly also touched upon national and international events, I pondered the notion that perhaps one or more people in government are also engaged in simulation-and thus we have various experiments being done, with the view of seeing which one works. So far, I am not seeing any of them showing a whole lot of promise. Simulations, it would seem, have to be a bit more rooted in higher aspirations than is presently the case.

The Road to Diamond, Day 202: Antics and Responsibility

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Posted by on in Assistance, children, collaborating, Community, Family, Inspiration, Personal Values, Social, Spiritual, Striving

June 18, 2025- A man came into Theodore’s Fine Foods, his little son in tow-or maybe it was boy with Dad in tow. At any rate the child had the place captivated, as he relished a raised doughnut, covered in chocolate. His father went for napkins, several times, enjoying his own bagel and cream cheese, in between face wipes. It’s been a while since I’ve seen such enjoyment of a breakfast pastry by a small child. The boy did not run about, but sat joyfully until the treat was eaten. He then carefully walked his plate to the dish bin, and his napkins to the trash receptacle. This, apparently, was not his first go-round.

This is what I’ve observed as the most common behaviour of children in a restaurant. I’ve heard the horror stories-of parent engrossed in the phone screen, whilst brother and sister are pulling each other’s hair and tussling in the aisle. I have yet to see such things. I think the last time I experienced an obstreperous child carrying on in a public space was before Aram was born. Penny and I stopped at a small cafe, en route to Phoenix. A child, around the corner and out of sight, was yellling continuously, for about ten minutes. A deep voice called out, “SHUT UP!” Nothing further was heard from noisemaker. Son, himself, learned to behave nicely, after one trip back to the car, of an evening’s dinner stop.

Most parents just seem to be doing a good job, by their children. The key, Penny and I figured out fairly quickly, was consistency. It is natural for a child to try and push the boundaries, even playing one parent against the other-or comparing the parents to the neighbour families. We did not fall for that. Aram got the basic tools he has needed for success. As did yours truly, he had to decide himself to put those tools to use.

The tool kit will, at some point in the not-too-distant future, be passed along to our next generation. I hope to watch and support that effort.

The Road to Diamond, Day199: Fatherhood at 37

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Posted by on in Assistance, children, Education, Family, impediments, Inspiration, Personal Values, Social, Spiritual, Striving

June 15, 2025- In less than a month, Aram will be the same age that I was when he was born. There is a significance to this, which I cannot as yet divulge, but it is quite prescient. That age seems to be a call to maturity, in a very practical way. Aram has entered the field for which he has prepared, and is off to a good start. I rose to a solid position,in South Korea, around the time of his birth, and would have remained, but for family complications here in the U.S. I landed on my feet, once back here, but that is another story.

I was decidedly a late bloomer. My son does not have to be. He has long been recognized for leadership skills and has a solid work ethic. He is more grounded than I was, at that age. A number of mentors, both familial and professional, have helped in that regard. He is wise enough to seek our collective counsel, and to listen to the best of the advice given. I am confident in his future.

In our society that is at once aloof and indulgent, the skills that a person needs to succeed require a lot of self-discipline, of proactivity. There is a need for flexibility and for being able to find resources that make up for what government and industry may not offer, in the way of doing one’s job. Being able to see beyond make-work tasks, some of which are designed to salve the egos of higher-ups, is crucial. The superfluous still needs to get done, but even the most self-absorbed of corporate or public officials will appreciate a self-starter on their staff. One can always grouse, afterward, but the tasks will not go away on their own.

Fatherhood has some of the same aspects. One cannot argue, successfully with a toddler, or to a lesser extent, with a teenager. The hard work still needs to get done, though, and chances are the finished product will be a solid member of society, if the father (along with the mother) does not back away from core principles. As with teaching, the reward may not be seen until later, but the wait is worth it.

These are my thoughts, as my son actively considers becoming a father, in his own right.