Category Archives: Family

Absurdities vs. Solutions

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Posted by on in Assistance, collaborating, Community, Family, impediments, Inspiration, Matters of Faith, Personal goals, Personal Values, service, Social, Spiritual, Striving, Travel, Uncategorized

December 11, 2025- A few of us gathered for a regular gathering, this afternoon, with illnesses and work trimming our numbers. There was a fair amount of interest in my schedule for departure and what might await me on the other end. Friends here are universally happy for me and family, while wistful about what it all means for the community. I know that I am hardly the be all and end all of anything, yet it feels nice to be so appreciated.

One friend gifted me with a small device that, inserted in the left ear, will alert with a buzz, if it senses a driver starting to doze off. This has not been a problem for me since the lowest point of my caretaking days, but it is best to be forearmed. I will use it faithfully, in the journey that lies ahead.

My morning had been occupied with cleaning out the spice cabinet. All those items that I had dutifully kept, from time immemorial, ended up discarded. Most glass bottles and metal boxes were carefully cleaned and placed in recycling. The worn out contents were properly placed in trash. Similar processes lie ahead for the office desk drawers, the clothes closet and the dresser. Then, there is the carport storage, either next Wednesday or Thursday. The book shelves are separated between “keep” and “donate”. Friends will come to look at the furniture, probably over the weekend, knowing that the sofa and the bed frame are headed elsewhere.

All this occupies me and generates solutions. There was a suggestion that I rent a large truck and tow Sportage. That would obviate any need for a second trip back and forth, but which is the absurdity and which, the solution, is still a matter of dollars, and sense. Aram and I will work that part out next week.

At least one medical provider has a counterpart in the Plano-Frisco area, and I can drive to that office, using a surface road. I’m hardly afraid of freeways, mind you, but have always made it my business to know the layout of secondary streets.

I go through this process, in the only way I know how, seeking solutions by talking things over with family and friends, and taking concrete steps forward, each day. I would like to see the same thing happen, in affairs of state, but there are so many who, it seems, are given over to absurdities. Eventually, solutions will present themselves, and not take “No’ for an answer. I prefer to have found them in a timely manner.

Giving Is Getting

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Posted by on in animal and plant life, Assistance, collaborating, Community, Family, impediments, Personal Values, Service Activities, Social, Spiritual, Striving, Travel

December 8, 2025, Banning- Two small piles of notebooks, coloured pencils, a therapeutic colouring book and post cards which had accumulated over the past fourteen years were offered to those gathered at the weekly Soup Kitchen. It took exactly fifteen minutes for six people to go through the offerings and take what suited them, in a discerning manner.

I will be doing more of that, over the ten days left to me to prepare for the move to Plano, especially as most of what I am giving was itself given me, following Penny’s passing, in 2011. Of course, it will largely go to Thrift Stores or to Habitat for Humanity, but new uses will be found for even the most well-worn items.

First, though, is my final visit to Orange County, at least until my granddaughter, whose birth is fourteen days away, attains toddlerhood. With that in mind, I took advantage of an easy clean-up after Soup Kitchen and headed west, through Arizona’s Outback and the Colorado Desert of eastern California. Only a couple of brief incidents coloured the generally smooth trip.

Between Aguila and Wenden, along US 60, there happened to be two rather large deer standing in the road. As Sportage approached, one deer went north and the other dashed south-no collision tonight!

Later, after I topped off the gas tank at Ehrenburg, a Honda Accord appeared to my left, as I was leaving the station-the driver bulling his way onto the road, to get ahead of me. Since he had been right behind a pick-up, I figured they were traveling together and he didn’t want to get separated. That was, until he zipped past the pick-up. Oh, well, we all got to stop, a half-mile further west, at the Ag Inspection. CHP also had a Safety Zone set up, for five miles through Blythe and just beyond, so we were all limited to 60 mph. Sometimes, taking ends up becoming giving, in terms of personal freedom. It’s often better to just go with the flow, at least when it comes to traffic.

From Wiley’s Well onward, the trip was uneventful, and I pulled into a different motel, the Margarita, around 10:15, PST. Tomorrow, I will meet my Orange County friend at Ladera Ranch and share my joys of this past year and the year to come.

Dependence

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Posted by on in collaborating, Community, distraction issues, Family, Inner Struggles, Inspiration, Personal Values, Social, Spiritual, Striving, Travel

December 2, 2025, Winslow, AZ- A friend who thinks deeply about the course of human behaviour made a cogent point today- People who often get assessed as being “broken” or “lost” are more often creatures of dependence. They seek approval or guidance from those they view as more powerful or worthy of control over their affairs, and leave their own power on the sidelines.

Through my life, I have often been right, when I trusted my gut and my heart. The bloopers, which have also been many, have come when I tried to “honour” requests or demands made by those who I, erroneously, deemed “heavy hitters”, “hard chargers”, or more adept at life than yours truly. They came when I absorbed their insults and diatribes into my own psyche. Mathematically, this translates into (Dependence) X (Sycophancy)= Self-defeat.

Here is what I would like to see increased: Each person takes stock of how the gut feels, how the heart feels and how those feelings are in sync with common sense, before deciding upon a course of action and certainly before carrying it out. Committing myself to these has definitely decreased the number, and severity, of bloopers that cause so much pain and annoyance to me and to those around me.

This morning, I had a brief urge to go from Tucumcari to Pecos National Historic Site-which would have been a two-hour, thirty-five minute diversion. Gut told heart that there is simply much to be done back in Prescott, once I return there tomorrow. When the turn northward, towards Pecos, presented itself, I kept on driving west, and other than a brief stop at Continental Divide, continued on until I decided that a Winslow break was in order. Top notch birria tacos, at Shorty’s and a night’s stay in The Beatles Room, at Delta Motel, the music-themed inn that is one of my favourites have helped set the tone for the rest of my return to Prescott and getting started on the month of transition ahead.

As for the exploration of New Mexico and other areas, I am looking forward to helping, slowly and gradually, introduce the world and its beauty to my grandchild.

Tik-Tok

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Posted by on in collaborating, Community, distraction issues, Education, Entertainment, Family, impediments, Personal Values, Service Activities, Social, Spiritual, Striving, Travel

December 1, 2025, Tucumcari- My friend sat across from me, in a crowded coffee shop, on the west side of Amarillo. He referred, a couple of times, to things he’d seen on Tik-Tok, a medium he finds amusing. A few minutes later, he told of posts on said medium that he found revolting.

I have never been a fan of Tik-Tok,nor of Snap Chat, Reddit or any other medium that relies, for its existence, on mass, conformity-based consumption of whatever drivel the worst among its contributors serves up, particularly in the form of “challenge”. Whoever dreamed up the nightmare that was “Tide Pod Challenge” (before Tik-Tok, in fairness) deserves to be consigned to the scrap heap of historical opprobrium. Its successors, some of which have found their way to Tik-Tok (i.e. Jam Jar Pulse Jet), likewise deserve nothing short of universal condemnation, for the resulting harm they cause both those who attempt them and their loved ones who are left to pick up the pieces of the person(s) left in relative ruin.

Tik-Tok could have become the purveyor of presentations that elevate humanity, the way Wikipedia and, for the most part, TED Talks and You Tube have become. Instead, we have the media promoter of the ethos that is reflected in that most odious of sentiments, “It’s better than Crack!” End of rant.

The day was, all in all, very nice. I bid farewell to my little family, for a few weeks, then found it fairly easy to exit Dallas-Fort Worth Metroplex. The drive along Northwest Passage was easy, and I found my lunch stop, Valley Pecans, rather deserted. Somehow, I was about the first customer at that lovely cafe-emporium, and was, thankfully, followed by about a dozen other people. It was Noon, so high time for travelers to surface.

After my visit with friend, Wes, In Amarillo and a fuel stop, I made it to this high desert gem, taking this room at Rodeway Inn and heading to Del’s Diner, one of Tucumcari’s best. Del’s has been around since 1966, and the crowds, such as the one there tonight, are proof of its excellence. Martha and crew treated everyone special, tonight. The regulars attest that this is no fluke. It’s how the crew is every day, every meal. Viva Del’s; viva Tucumcari!

Staying On Point

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Posted by on in children, collaborating, Community, distraction issues, Family, impediments, Personal goals, Personal Values, service, Social, Spiritual, Striving, Travel

November 30, 2025, Grapevine- My sole tasks today were recording measurements of two rooms in the Plano house, using the Notes application on my i-Phone, and doing my laundry. It was not a hard day. Son had to navigate traffic across the Dallas-Fort Worth Metroplex, as he does almost every day. He had the harder job. There is a fair number of unfocused, impetuous motorists here, as there are in nearly every major city on the planet. He got the job done just fine.

Much of the difficulty facing the human race has come from one or more people, in any given situation, becoming distracted. There are plenty of diversions competing for anyone’s attention, at any given time of the day: Sunrises and sunsets; cute animals; cute babies; text messages; phone calls; road accidents; attractive members of the opposite sex; billboards; alluring announcements on the radio or streaming device; even someone riding a horse on the side of the road. The tasks, though, remain the same: Drive safely; pay attention to the person in front of you; finish what you start.

I think of this, as I plan out one of the most tightly-choreographed months in quite a while. Not since July, 2011 have I had to face a sea change in my living situation. It will need to be done carefully, and attentively, both because of time frame and because the feelings of so many people, who mean a great deal to me, need to be kept in mind. The most important, of course, are my little family. Others also matter, and so December will see lots of hugs and handshakes and “Thank you for being my friend, all these years.” The saving grace, in each instance, is the continuity offered by social media.

All I can promise anyone is that I will stay on point, and get the tasks of transition done, to the every best of my ability, doing justice for all concerned.

Firmness, and Style

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Posted by on in Assistance, children, collaborating, Education, Family, Inspiration, Personal Values, Social, Spiritual, Striving

November 29, 2025, Grapevine- The order of the day was bringing some items to the Plano house, including my major camping stuff and some of the items purchased for the good of the household. It was then off to assess furniture, including my trying out several mattresses. I like firmness on a sleeping surface, and will determine where I will lay my head, at least for the next nineteen years, after a bit more investigation.

The rest of the items are more a matter of style and utility. We stopped in one furniture MegaStore, where I was amazed to see the wooden desk equivalent of stylish torn jeans: Painted wooden desks, with scuffed trim-“on sale” for $289. In fairness, most of the other office furniture was nicely constructed and looked state of the art.

It is a joy to watch my son and daughter-in-law meet the challenges of home ownership, taking each major step seriously, with no sense of being overwhelmed. It is all seen in perspective, and 1-3 matters are handled per day. They are also sober-minded, loving parents, actively planning to nurture the whole child, from the moment she is born.

That brings me back to the subjects of firmness and style. Granddaughter will be getting direction, first and foremost, from her parents, with back-up from me, when needed. My style of grandparenting will evolve, but it will be centered on consistency and giving her feelings of security and self-confidence. Some grandparents are known to take on the role of disciplinarian. I will not. Others take on the role of rescuer. I do not have a life-sized picture of that being necessary, with this family. The bottom line is that I will not live through my children and grandchild(ren). It is not something with which I have ever comfortable, and I am not about to start now.

I will be another sure bet in the little girl’s life.

The Road to Diamond, Day 365: Gratitude

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Posted by on in Assistance, children, collaborating, Community, Education, Family, Inspiration, Matters of Faith, Personal goals, Personal Values, Service Activities, Social, Spiritual, Striving, Travel

November 27, 2025, Grapevine- My grandchild gave a small kick, when I spoke to her through her mother’s belly. Her coming birth is surely the shiniest blessing, overarching this year and the next. Grandparenthood is already a feeling far different, in a beautiful way, than anything I have ever experienced, and it will only get more so, upon her arrival. Those who are already grandparents know this all too well.

Thankfulness cannot be relegated to one day a year, though I am supremely thankful to have been brought into the world, myself, in a season of collective thanks. Many years, my birthday has fallen on Thanksgiving Day, making my mother thankful that I loved roast turkey, stuffing, butternut squash and green bean casserole, while being tolerant of mashed potatoes. This Thanksgiving Day, the last day before my diamond jubilee, was Aram’s first turn at actually carving a turkey-so he asked me, at long last, to show him how. I am grateful for fatherhood, and the ways that it never ends.

I had lengthy conversations with both of my living brothers today. Both are living embodiments of what it means to persist and redefine success. My sister is that, as well, and has forever defined, for me, triumph over adversity. They have each walked their trails to strength and purposeful living. I am grateful for siblinghood, and the ways that it never ends.

This afternoon,looking at the house where we will be a family of four, gave me a sense of both fulfillment and wonder. I would not have predicted this state of affairs, even a year ago. It is a sizable place and my area is almost as large as my present apartment, save my current kitchen. It will be a comfort being in a house that is a home, from the get go. I will let go of most of what I presently own-including about 80 % of my books. In return, I will have the knowledge that my little family is secure, day to day, and that things can always be replaced. I am grateful for shelter, and the ways that it is always available.

I will be leaving Arizona soon, after an at times topsy-turvy life of service to children and teens, that has only deepened my commitment to their well-being, In the course of things, lifelong friendships have been built, old and counterproductive concepts and habits from my youth have been cast aside and a commitment to Faith has arisen. I am grateful for all the friends who have stood by me, over the past thirty-three years. I am grateful for Divine Guidance, and the ways that it has never let me down.

Over the next 2-5 years, I will be more settled than I have been in the past fourteen. I will need my health and stamina to meet different needs, some of which can only be surmised at this point. Travel has its bounties and strengths; building family also has its share of both. Living consciously and maintaining equilibrium have been an enormous blessing. I am grateful for flexibility, and the ways it has guided me through so much change over the years, and will continue to guide.

Now I have reached a point attained by many elders and by several of my cousins before me. I am grateful for having safely achieved the age of seventy-five. More on that, tomorrow, but let me thank all of you, my family and friends, across this continent and across the planet. You are my life’s grandest blessing.

I am closing with a song that I consider one of the most beautiful of this, or any century. This one is for my Mom and Dad, for whom I have the most gratitude of all.

The Road to Diamond, Day 357: Bright Farewells

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Posted by on in collaborating, Community, Family, Inspiration, Personal goals, Personal Values, service, Social, Spiritual, Striving, Travel

November 19, 2025- I had my last haircut at Prescott’s Fantastic Sam’s, this afternoon. The mane doesn’t need trimming more than every two months or so, making this the last time I stopped in and visited with Brittany, an effervescent ball of fire who makes every stop at FS a joyful experience. She did her usual magic and smilingly wished me well with the coming adventure in grandparenting. I will miss her, and many others, who have been my support system in this Home Base I, for fourteen years.

There will be more of these bright farewells, over the next month or so. Nobody here in Prescott, or in other parts of Arizona, is being grumpy about the move. People are genuinely happy with what I have done here, and at the same time glad that my little family is growing. I am grateful for that. My beloved K, writing from the Philippines, is also happy for me, and has some dreams of her own that I sincerely hope will see fruition. At this age, one can dearly love another person and not be tethered to a set of schedules and procedures that are more conducive to establishing a marriage and raising a family. K and I can meet the needs of our respective families and not worry about preconceived notions of others. I will make time for a visit over there, provided my little family’s needs are being met, in the meantime.

That leaves the proper distribution of furniture and other items, like books and tools, over the next four or five weeks. Those, too, will be bright farewells. My belongings have served me well, and I am grateful. It’s time to pass much of the materials along.

The Road to Diamond, Day 355: Nonagenarian Beacon

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Posted by on in collaborating, Community, Family, Personal goals, Personal Values, Service Activities, Social, Spiritual, Striving

November 17, 2025- All three ladies are using walkers, but all three are sharp upstairs and let no one forget it. This was made clear by the way none of them repeated the stories they told at the beginning of Coffee Klatsch, this morning, and for that matter, none has repeated stories they told two weeks, or two months, ago. One put it simply: “Who wants to hear the same old crap? Life goes on, and so do I.” That statement is like a beacon, in the night that, for many, is the process of aging.

The three ladies in question are 94,92 and 91, respectively. I can remember when someone close to me told my mother that her “old, decrepit son” (me) was there to visit. Mom’s reply: “Are you saying old is decrepit?” Her leg went out in a kick, as she always did when someone had irked her. Dignity and self-regard die hard in a person who has all, or most, of faculties into the “higher elevations”. Mom’s idol was Dick Van Dyke and she told me to look to him as a model for how to move gracefully towards century-hood. Indeed, he has a new book out, called “100 Rules for Living to 100: An Optimist’s Guide to a Happy Life”. This is a man who has not stopped moving-and that, he says, is his secret.

So, I went back and exercised at Planet Fitness and showed up at the Monday night Soup Kitchen, where I may stand and serve food for thirty minutes-but then go around and clean all the tables, so it is not a “passive volunteer” activity. With grandchild being my prime motive for moving to Texas, just before Christmas, I don’t think there will be any room for passivity there, either.

The Road to Diamond, Day 352: Choosing Home

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Posted by on in Assistance, collaborating, Community, Family, Inspiration, Personal Values, service, Social, Spiritual, Striving, Travel

November 14, 2025- A young friend asked me what the best strategy is for deciding where to live. There are three main factors behind my own choices: Family, good of the community and peace of mind. In 2011, I had to decide where I would live next, as my house was up for sale, and purchasing another one would have been foolhardy. A family home was available, in Prescott, I could serve the community in several ways and it is a very pleasant place in which to live. That made choosing this Home Base very easy.

Being a Sagitarrian, I find wanderlust is a constant refrain, but I am also mindful that there is value in establishing ties to community; thus, the idea of Home Base. I could have stayed with Prescott as Home Base I for several more years. The coming birth of my first grandchild, however, brings on a feeling far stronger than wanderlust, or the desire to be close to someone I also love dearly. So, Home Base I will shift to Plano, Texas, sometime in the middle or latter part of next month. There will always be other Home Bases: HB II, unless I hear differently from my beloved there, is Metro Manila ( or wherever she is); HB III, Prescott; HB IV, Nynashamn, Sweden; HB V, Dinetah/Hopi; HB VI, Exton/Oley, Pennsylvania; HB VII, Cape Breton, Nova Scotia; HB VIII, Jeju, Korea; HB IX, northeast Scotland.

I hear you saying, why so many? One can only live in one place at a time and “serve only one master.” I also understand that there are those who turn away from someone who leaves their area. Some, in a few of the places mentioned, already have made their displeasure with me quite clear. I am sorry for any hurt you might feel, but know that family is always a priority for me-as it is for some of those who have expressed annoyance. The shoe fits equally well on both pairs of feet. I will be present for my grandchild as long as needed, especially once parents are both back at work. You will be fine and know that I don’t care for you any less than I ever have.

In Prescott, I (initially) served family, have done right by the community and found peace of mind. The same thing is true of several of the other Home Bases. It will be true of Plano.