Category Archives: Inner Struggles

The Spirit Moves

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Posted by on in Assistance, collaborating, Community, impediments, Inner Struggles, Inspiration, Personal Values, Service Activities, Social, Spiritual, Striving

January 22, 2024- A friend at the coffee klatsch, this morning, casually mentioned that she was moving from one building to another, within the Senior apartment complex. This was two days after I had helped another woman, also like a sister to me, move some of her belongings to a larger house. 

January is a month of new beginnings, yet it is not, customarily, a time for moving, given that cold weather and precipitation abound-across most of the North American continent. This year, however, is one of actionable change, and moving is often part of that process. 

I received a “wink, wink, nudge, nudge” post on social media, last night, showing a set of attractive and affordable apartments, in another location. While someone, about whom I care deeply, lives in that place, I have no plans to relocate, this year. Also, it is a matter that this person and I would need to discuss, fully and calmly, before deciding whether one of us, or both of us, would pack up and go elsewhere. That will likely occupy the rest of this year-but who knows?

Another person for whom I care deeply is making initial, and solid, progress in dealing with a health concern. I was very glad to hear specifics on that matter, earlier today. This, and the above-mentioned, are as much spiritual journeys as physical and pecuniary ones. We are each stepping into the unknown, and following our hearts as well as our minds-trusting in a Higher Power.

I am, while anchored at Home Base 1, resuming my taking stock of household inventory. Checking the cabinet that held sheets and towels, I found that 90 % of what was in that container was excessive. It was one of the last parts of my household that was mostly left over from when Penny was alive. So, a fair amount went to a woman with a large extended family, this evening, and the rest will go to a shelter collection drive, tomorrow morning. Other items that have outlived their usefulness, or that no longer reflect the person I have become, will also go to Thrift Store shelves, tomorrow.

I have no way of predicting how my life, or anyone else’s, will look, in December of this year, but the Spirit is moving mountains-and hearts.

Cold Mist

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Posted by on in Assistance, collaborating, Community, impediments, Inner Struggles, Inspiration, Personal Values, Service Activities, Social, Spiritual, Striving

January 21, 2024- It is dangerous, to put on airs, in a cold mist               To go outside, shirtless, and mug for the camera,                      in any air that is less than 32 F(0 C).                          Water freezes at that temperature, and we are 55-60 % water.              Imagine, being a block of ice, with a pleasant countenance                 that is now marked in a grimace.                            You, too, could be portrayed by Joaquin Phoenix, or Jack Nicholson-drawn out of retirement, and away from Lakers games.                             In all seriousness, though, pneumonia is never a trifle, and its little sibling, bronchitis, is a pain in the neck. Corona viruses are always waiting in the wings, also. People here are still finding themselves with COVID19-or 24, or the flu of the year.                  This PSA is not meant to be a nuisance, in and of itself. I just like seeing my friends, either in person, or online- looking happy and productive, not aching and sad in a corner.      Safety first-from Utgiagvik to Tampa, from Portland, OR to St. Anthony, NL. Stay warm and dry.

Revitalized

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Posted by on in Assistance, collaborating, Community, distraction issues, impediments, Inner Struggles, Inspiration, Personal goals, Personal Values, Service Activities, Social, Spiritual, Striving

January 20, 2024- The watchful Apache man saw that all the modern conveniences that had been installed in his new restaurant kitchen were still missing a key component: A means of heat. He had a stack of firewood on hand, and was able to get a fire going, safely, in his fireplace. The cook stove, of course, was a secondary means of heat. In time, the solar heater would be on track, but for the time being, the fireplace saved the day.

This was one of the vignettes that flowed through “Gather: The Fight to Revitalize Our Native Foodways”, a film that was shown this evening, at our Elks Performing Arts Center. The film illustrated First Nations people working to re-establish viable food systems, in areas across North America. A Dineh farmer is working to increase use of the Little Colorado River, in its traditional role as a water source. A young Lakota Sioux woman is spreading understanding of the nutritional value of the meat of grass-fed bison, such as her father raises. A Yurok man is teaching young men in his northern California community about traditional spear fishing, and keeping salmon populations sustainable. A San Carlos Apache grandmother is teaching a young girl about catching kangaroo rats, and respecting the home of a rattlesnake-not just because it is venomous, but because it, too, is a living being and helps keep the rodent population in balance. She is also teaching the child about harvesting edible desert plants. The White Mountain Apache chef is likewise using local products, in his preparation of dishes at Cafe Gozho’o’ (the second o is silent). Gozho’o’ means happiness, harmony or balance, in the Nde’e’ language of the Apache people.

The key to all this is revitalization, for which this is a year. A friend here in town received final clearance to move her possessions to a house which she had inherited, over a year ago. There had been delays in the move, for various reasons, which have now been resolved. I helped with moving some of the items, this afternoon. Her life, and livelihood, are being regenerated.

My own life has not been stagnant, yet its pace, too, is picking up, in terms of financial, interpersonal and goal-setting elements. This will be a truly interesting year, one in which decisive action becomes the norm.

“Just Tryin’ To Get Home”*

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Posted by on in Assistance, collaborating, Community, Entertainment, impediments, Inner Struggles, Inspiration, Personal Values, Social, Spiritual, Striving

January 19, 2024- One sang a prayer to the angels. Another mused about her Love of thirty years. The third one sang to a dead friend. The fourth sang to his daughter, who was some distance away. Four musicians, offered the stuff of their hearts, in a round table of harmony.

We are all trying to get home-as *the song by Meg Bohrman so poignantly states. Those of us with home bases are ever looking to be ready for our spiritual Home, when the time comes. Others, whose time here figures to be a lot longer than mine, are also looking for a “forever home”, in which they can raise a family. Still others would just like a home that is not a tent in the woods, or a lean-to, or a cardboard box.

My home is in my heart. So, it feels like home, when I have served well, on a given day. It feels like home, when I have made someone smile. It feels like home, when I have been present for my new Love, and been strong for her, when we connect electronically, even though the physical distance between us is, for now, all too wide. It feels like home, when I reflect that my demons, known only to God, to my departed Angel and to me, have long been cast out. It feels like home, when I know that my little family, extended family and wide circle of friends are safe and well.

Home is in the heart.

Just Being

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Posted by on in Assistance, collaborating, Community, impediments, Inner Struggles, Inspiration, Personal goals, Personal Values, Social, Spiritual, Striving

January 17, 2024- Someone I love dearly sent me a message, this morning. It was a description of her quotidian life and of the joy that some friends had brought to her world, these past few days. I responded with my normal comings and goings, including some photos of the past few days.

There are no expectations, per se, in our friendship. It is a matter of just being, just sharing what goes on and what we think, feel and experience, because we care enough about one another to make this a regular part of our existence, once or twice a week, until we see each other again.

Once upon a time, this was the province of the telephone call. Mothers and daughters, in particular, talked several days a week, but occasionally men and boys got involved. Social media, at its finest, lets us acknowledge birthdays, anniversaries and achievements. These are all fine things-as long as people are allowed to just be.

Earlier still, communication was face to face. The old-fashioned home visit, sometimes lasting for hours, or for days (before the snarky business about fish and old clothes became the standard), was not an unusual event. In some cultures, not staying overnight is deemed an insult. In others, prior invitation is expected, even for a one-hour house call. Yet, the main thing is that each allows the other to just be.

Another friend wrote to several of us, about having written a book, that is intended to be published. She told of all the trepidation that came, prior to the actual preparation of the book. Once she let herself relax, and accept the achievement, the book became her friend, and her being was enough.

You know, it took me a very long time to get to this point, but now, just being-walking alongside so many good people, and feeling, knowing, that I belong, is a springboard to all that I know I can achieve.

Thoughts On Fixing What’s Not Broken

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Posted by on in Assistance, collaborating, Community, distraction issues, impediments, Inner Struggles, Inspiration, Personal Values, Service Activities, Social, Spiritual, Striving

January 16, 2024- My day was centered on helping a Baha’i friend get to a medical appointment. As Dad taught us to focus on one thing at a time, and doing it right, any other considerations for the afternoon were moot. I got Sportage washed, and opened my collected mail, from last week, but that was all done by mission time.

After the appointment was over, friend recapped the conversation with doctor and physician’s assistant. It seems, as is so often the case, that there is no provision by the practitioners for naturopathic or herbal remedies to the diagnosed malady. Indeed, the implication is that patient (Baha’i friend) ought to accept a treatment plan, “so as to stay ahead of any problems down the road.” Friend did not take the bait, sticking to own regimen for maintaining personal health. In the end, doctor’s advice was: ”Keep doing what you’re doing.”

The goal of any primarily monetized enterprise is to keep the cash flowing. As a snark once told me, “Hey, money pays the bills”, as if that excused the whole nine yards. In so doing, there is a sense that creating a problem, then devising and advancing a solution, is a solid business model. This, when recognized for what it is, gives rise to conspiracy theories-and I have to say, the “kooks” have something there, even if their valid point ends up twisted off into various tangents.

Truth be told, there are enough problems that are extant in this physical world, at any given time, that inventing more issues and devising solutions to them, is little more than a perverse Socratic seminar. Each end of the dominant culture’s spectrum accuses the other of faux saviourhood. Yet, both practice the ruse: The Far Left, by announcing a ban on vehicles with internal combustion engines, by a certain year, without securing the commitment from industry to produce enough Electric Vehicles to meet the resulting demand; the Far Right, by excoriating present immigration policy, then refusing to work with their counterparts in Congress, to resolve the issue. The solutions that each offers are non-starters, that are essentially designed to simply “make the other guy look bad”, and solving nothing.

There are others, coming from both sides, but I shift the focus to my own situation. Things happened, or didn’t happen, this morning, which could have provoked me into attempting to “resolve issues”. Instead, I chose to do nothing. These are matters which it is best to let play out, and resolve themselves. That may not be possible in the larger social issues-but one thing is clear: No problems can truly be solved, by coming up with solutions when no issue exists.

Ghost Ranch, Day 4: Return of Snow

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Posted by on in Assistance, collaborating, Community, Inner Struggles, Inspiration, Personal Values, Service Activities, Social, Striving, Travel

January 11, 2024, Ghost Ranch- My Cosmic Advisor, Elizabeth Peru, says this week is a time for being forthright and trusting in one’s own abilities. The time for being timid, if there ever was such a time, is over. Well, I have been “guilty as charged” in holding back my thoughts and feelings, after things that happened, 10 1/2 years ago. That was then, and I was in a far different place, physically and emotionally. Following the guidance of the angelic spirit, who in human form was my wife of 29 years, and of others in the ethereal realm, I have become more of a free spirit-and have been more inclined to follow my heart. It has led to some interesting places, and very interesting people- one in particular. Basically, it is a time for believing in myself.

That is what enabled me to drive through the snow last Sunday. I am rather glad that I don’t have to drive anywhere until this coming Saturday-up the road to Abiquiu and Sunday, back towards somewhere in Arizona. Sunny skies will probably mean bringing someone down to Tucson. Snowy skies will mandate a more direct, if slower, route back towards Prescott. 

Today, though, snow came and I did not have to go anywhere. It was another day of painting, as well as more practice with an adhesive gun, which is similar to a caulking gun, except that the stuff that comes out of it will keep two objects attached-rather than one object sealed. Paint is running low, so I will use what’s left tomorrow, and shift to preserving the wooden doors and frames. It is quite fortuitous that the construction and maintenance arts are being revisited,as a special friendship may well grow stronger, in the year ahead. Being competent in such things no longer seems impossible. My work this week looks pretty good, actually.

Here is a scene of today’s weather event.

Ghost Ranch’s core, as today’s snow subsided.

Running the Maze

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Posted by on in Assistance, children, collaborating, Community, Entertainment, impediments, Inner Struggles, Personal goals, Personal Values, Service Activities, Social, Spiritual, Striving, Travel

January 6, 2024, Gallup- One of the classic experiments in Behavioural Psychology has rats running through a maze, in return for which any animal finding its way out will get a reward. 

It occurs to me that each of us can find ourselves running a maze, of sorts, in return for which we may receive a reward. I found myself working mazes, pretty much all day, and found the end, in each instance. 

Starting off, there were replies to a comment I posted on another social media outlet, regarding a local attempt at censorship. Most responders were opposed to the censorship ploy, but one, hailing back to bygone days, said that anyone going against conservative social norms deserves to be cut off. That really got the crowd going-piling on the hapless “good ol’boy”. I had to post that everyone was welcome on my page, so long as they did not advocate violence against those who hold a different point of view. I don’t go to drag shows, as they are not my cup of java. I also don’t go to rodeos, poker tournaments or gun shows. That doesn’t mean I think they should be banned, because I don’t. Parents can decide to not let their children view that format, and that’s their right. No one, though, should decide, for other informed adults, what they may see or not see-so long as the format does not include child pornography or horrific violence against defenseless people or animals. I found my way out of that maze.

Next up, there was a gathering to honour a Baha’i couple, who are leaving our area, in a few days. It was well attended, with great camaraderie and delicious food. There was one rub, for me. I talked with friends, past the time that came for me to head up to Farmers Market, and helping with breakdown. I found my way, belatedly, out of that maze and made my way through Saturday afternoon traffic, getting to the Market grounds by 12:50, only twenty minutes behind schedule. Bumping against the maze barriers wasn’t so bad.

The Market breakdown was no maze, though, and something I’ve wondered about for a while: ”How might our breakdown crew better connect with the set-up team?”  was answered, as a member of that team had stayed around, for that very purpose, and gave us hints as to how we might make their work easier. The suggestions were implemented, immediately.

Finally, there was the fairly quick packing and heading out to this old mining town, my rest stop on the way to Ghost Ranch. It turned out to be no maze. The skies were clear and the roads, bare. I am now at my standard resting place in town: The Dineh-owned Colonial/Ranchito Motel.

Focuses Of An Eight Universal Year

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Posted by on in American Legion, Assistance, collaborating, Community, Family, impediments, Inner Struggles, Inspiration, Matters of Faith, Personal goals, Personal Values, Service Activities, Slow Food, Social, Spiritual, Striving, Travel

January 2, 2024- I gave thanks, yesterday, to all who bless my life by their presence, both seen and unseen, both close at hand and far away. An Eight Universal Year is a year of acting upon what one learns during its predecessor, which is a year of reflection. So, going forward, in 2024:

Ghost Ranch- Beginning Sunday, January 7, it will be time to build on what I learned from supervising a disaster response team in Watsonville, CA, last April, as well as from the camp supervisory experience at Bellemont Baha’i School, last June. This time, though, I will be one of those supervised and the emphasis will be on applying disaster response principles and camp supervision protocols, in a preparatory situation.

Phoenix Area-In early February, it will be time to visit with Baha’i friends in Phoenix and vicinity, and see how they are applying learnings from their recent visit to Brazil, in helping to grow more vibrant and co-operative communities.

Spring Break in southern Arizona- From March 11-15, it will be time to focus on what is happening in the border region, from Bisbee and Coronado National Monument, to Organ Pipe Cactus National Monument, and the Tohono O’odham Nation. I want to visit with people who are impacted by what is going on there, and offer Baha’i principles to individual and group situations, as much as possible.

Prescott to Cape Breton, St. Pierre & Miquelon, and back, via the Northeast and Deep South- From April 29 (evening) to June 1-2, it will be time to re-connect with friends and family in the Midwest and Northeast, honour the Micmaq people, on the 50th Anniversary of the Spiritual Assembly of the Baha’is of Eskasoni, revisit friends in St. John’s and Grand Bank, NL, pay homage to the outpost of French and Breton culture in St. Pierre and Miquelon, and to the Blues culture/sacrifice of Emmitt Till, in Mississippi-also stopping to visit friends in Tennesse and Alabama.

Bellemont Baha’i School- From June 3-July 8, it will be time to focus on the summer camps that may be scheduled and on the needs of the campers and staff at our anchor property, west of Flagstaff.

Carson City and the Northwest- From July 12- August 1, it will be time to visit my extended family in Carson, and friends in Oregon, Washington and British Columbia, pay homage to Four Winds International Institute and to the First Nations of Vancouver Island, the Sunshine Coast of BC and the Yakima Nation.

The Philippines to East Africa- From September 7-21, it will be time to visit Baha’i friends and their families in Greater Manila, western Luzon, Iriga, and possibly Cagayan de Oro, on Mindanao. From September 22-November 1, it will be time to connect with Baha’i friends and their families in Kenya, northern Tanzania, Uganda, Mauritius, Reunion-and, hopefully, Addis Ababa, Ethiopia. This last is not to be construed as a philanthropic effort, but an effort at strengthening cross-planetary (North America-Africa), and pan-oceanic (Philippines-Africa) networks.

Home Base 1- My efforts here remain to assist friends and community groups to continue building our own vibrant community. In spite of the appearances indicated by the above goals, much time and attention are to be devoted to Prescott and vicinity. There is plenty of time to be spent with Red Cross, Slow Food, Post 6, the local Baha’i community and friends around Yavapai County-so long as we are flexible with one another and not insisting that the wishes and goals of one person, or of a few, are to be adopted by everyone. (Friends in SoCal, Navajo-Hopi and Northern New Mexico, I will see you this year, as well).

In all this, my reasoning is that people appreciate actual time spent in their presence-whether here at Home Base 1, across North America, or across the globe. ’Abdu’l-Baha and my spirit guides assure me, on this, and that’s no “woo-woo”.

The Small Market

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Posted by on in collaborating, Community, Family, Inner Struggles, Personal goals, Personal Values, Service Activities, Social, Spiritual, Striving

December 30, 2023- One of my Saturday staples, when here in Home Base I, is helping to break down the apparati at Farmers Market. It was a smaller affair today, and the staff was smaller as well. I was the sole break down crew member on site, so the management helped with taking down tents and folding the small tables and chairs. For the first time in memory, the market was arranged in a circle, and it was like musical stalls-vendors were placed in areas different from their usual spots. 

Most staff and vendors are happy to see me, knowing that the market is being secured. One or two are transactional, in their relationships with us, fussing and fuming if we don’t buy from them. It has become a personal issue with at least one vendor, so I am careful when around that person. Somehow, I won’t be surprised to see that vendor go.

Small minds, though, are fewer and fewer in my world-even as that world expands. A person with whom I had difficulty, several weeks ago, attended a meeting today, and was civil. I chalk that up to the power of both prayer and patience. I shut very few doors for good-and one relatively minor disagreement is not grounds for such a thing.

On the cusp of what looks to be an exceptionally active year, I find that what I view as Home Base actually fits several places. HB is a space where I can safely conduct my regular daily activities, communicate with friends and family, have reliable channels for that communication, and feel that I fully belong in the community. Home Base 1 will be Prescott, at least for the foreseeable future. HB 2 is Grapevine, as my little family is there. HB 3 is southeast Pennsylvania, with three family households and two longtime friends living less than an hour apart.  HB 4 is Massachusetts’ North Shore, with Mom living there and two siblings not far away. HB 5 is Greater Manila, with newly made friends a very strong draw. HB 6 is San Diego, where I can get an ocean “fix” and be re-energized, in the communities of Ocean Beach and Little Italy.

Much of the strength I feel, going forward, comes from what has come my way, in the past twelve months. Recap will be in the next post.