The Road to Diamond, Day 177: The Thick and Thin of It

0

May 24, 2025- At Bellemont Baha’i School today:

In the midst of a pile of pine needles, my co-worker found a bright, shining earring. It seems to me that one of the campers last year did lose one, so that is probably the beginning of its reunion with its owner.

At lunchtime, part of the conversation was relative to the thinness and thickness of various piles that were raked up and ready for bagging. By 3:30, virtually all the piles were bagged and ready for next week’s removal to a dump site. Fourteen of us produced 85 bags of needles. That is no “thin” effort!

The connection between our little group and the growing Bellemont forest community is also getting thicker. Our closest neighbour, an ordained minister, has taken it upon himself to provide security for the camp, when no one is around. He also did an extraordinary amount of clean-up work-and over the past thee days. He will finish up the rest tomorrow. A good part of this is because he feels the spiritual energy of the camp.

Commitments can be thick or thin. I have, in the least popular of my posts, addressed the matter of home bases. My commitments to places in general, however, matter less than those I have to people in my life. There ought be no one “thrown under the bus”, as it were. So, while the “thickest” of my commitments are to my Faith, little family, beloved (who is halfway around the world), and community of residence, appeals for help from someone elsewhere also matter. My only caveat is that I have enough time and energy to meet that appeal.

That brings me to a broader place, with regard to commitments: My own are based on helping meet the actual needs of my loved ones, and not in feathering my own nest. Those in government, and elsewhere in public life, be they Right, Left or in the Center, whose every-other decision is based on self-enrichment are going to be found out, if that hasn’t happened already. Those whose public service is genuinely focused on the common good, be they Right, Left or in the Center, deserve our gratitude and support.

Be discerning, with regard to commitments, whether your own or those others have made to you.

The Road to Diamond, Day 175: Connecting, Havening, but No Othering

0

May 22, 2025- The road to resiliency is whatever length one makes it. Such was the first message at this afternoon’s COPE (Connection/Compassion,Optimism, Perspective, Emotional Intelligence) seminar, at Granite Mountain Unitarian/Universalist Church.

Connection and compassion are illustrated by acts of support, structural language (terms of endearment and understanding) and meaningful/joyful experiences. Public gatherings can be the forefront of the latter, but it is small, intimate encounters that make up the bulk of these. Consistency in supportive language is crucial-from affirmations of affection to words of gratitude. The facilitators, a married couple, offered their ingrained habit of thanking one another continuously-avoiding any tendency to take one another for granted. Finally, “me” is consistently replaced by “we”.

Optimism is signaled by confidence that comes from having met past challenges and a sense that we are building upon those successes. These can be small or great achievements. Self-regulation (breathing, healthy diet, regular exercise, proper rest) is a basic indicator of optimism. So are the practices of incorporating uplifting experiences,a positive forward outlook and a basic trust in a Higher Power. Havening is the process of self-soothing. Besides deep breathing, placing one’s right hand over the heart and left hand on the solar plexus is an example of havening, Another example is slowly passing one hand over the other.

Unity of internal and external perspectives is beneficial. The understanding that everything is temporary, whether positive or negative, encourages savouring the moment, an ethic of carpe diem, accepting that a painful day is no more permanent than a pleasurable one. One may choose to view a challenge as a portal, or see it as a hole. A broad perspective will let one view everything as sacred-whether it be a blessing or a hard lesson.

Emotional intelligence is marked by recognizing, naming and managing own emotions and recognizing those of others. Using emotional intelligence to address three basic human needs (Safety, satisfaction and connection) entails recognition that there is, in reality, no “others” but that we are all extensions of one another, in that regard. The “other side”, of conventional political and social mythology, has the same basic needs as those with whom one more comfortably associates. The key to social cohesion, then, starts with assisting one another, in getting those needs met.

The “rugged individualism” of the libertarian or conservative can meet the needs of some, while the “social contract” of the progressive or liberal can address the needs of a wider segment of society. The key to both lies in avoiding dogmatic adherence to one set of principles or methods of achievement.

In a time of uncertainty and challenge, resiliency is what will guarantee that our communities, and their members, survive and thrive anew.

The Road to Diamond, Day 174: Heaviness

0

May 21, 2025- One by one, the four people with whom I met on a Zoom call, this afternoon, described the heaviness of their situations. Much had to do with the circumstances of their domiciles. Some concerned the presence of unruly or insensitive people in their lives.

I have had my share of heaviness, in the past. The 2000s and the first year or so, of the 2010s, were full of lead balloons. It prepared me to be here for other people’s heaviness, just as those who suffered in the Twentieth Century were able to help me get through the intensity and loss of my own time of travail.

The message I was able to offer, after hearing my friends describe their traumas, was one of hope. Much has gone on in this life, and still more is coming to pass, as this seminal year progresses. After I described the past two months since I last met with these friends, and mused about what the rest of 2025 might bring, the friends’ spirits were lifted, and they began to make plans of their own.

Therein lies the main value in sharing positive experiences. Those listening are given to inspiration, so long as there is no hook to their misery. The people on this call are not inclined to enjoy suffering. Neither are the Red Cross colleagues with whom I met earlier in the day, nor my fellow members of the Spiritual Assembly of the Baha’is of Prescott, who I joined for an online meeting tonight. Certainly, my beloved friend whose birthday was today is no wet blanket, either.

As it happened, today also saw a new set of window blinds installed, to take the place of those that gave me fits last night and Sportage got a wash, a thorough vacuuming and full maintenance, after seeing me safely to the East Coast and back.

Even momentary darkness is followed by light.

The Road to Diamond, Day 173: Home Lands

0

May 20, 2025- Coming down the mountain from Strawberry Junction to Camp Verde, my main concern was putting my energy into the safety of the large load of logs being hauled in front of me, and staying in the slow line, regardless of my wanting to get back to Prescott. The truck was fine, even when an antsy driver behind us pulled his pick-up and drove around the line, crossing double yellow lines, when he spotted a minute or two. There is one in every crowd.

I arrived back at Home Base I around 3 p.m., picked up my mail and sorted out the junk from magazines and legitimate bills that still come through snail mail. The VA stuff is always among the latter. I also had to deal with a broken blind mount, for which duct-taping the blinds to the side window will allow privacy for a day or so, until I can get a new set of mounts. (I rarely have opened said blinds, in eleven years, so it must have been one of the workmen who are installing my apartment’s AC unit, who messed with the blinds.)

Home Base I is only one of my Home Lands, as readers have no doubt figured out, over the years. It is where those who believe in me the most happen to be, and I would say that this confidence in my skill sets comes from my having engaged in community activities here. My little family and others would feel the same, if I were to spend more time with them. For now, though, I am grateful for what time I do have in Home Bases II (Grapevine), III (North Shore), IV (Southeast Pennsylvania) and V( Makati). I know some of you will say “What about our area?” I appreciate all the love I get from friends, wherever I go.

What makes a place home, though, is not the mutual love and support that I get, as well as give. It is a deeper feeling, that is often hard to put into words. There is likely to be a time, in the not-too-distant future, when the Home Bases will get shifted around a bit. One scenario has me living closer to my son and daughter-in-law. Another has me in Metro Manila, or a place fairly close to it. Those situations will work themselves out, with Divine Energy in play, much as so many issues and problems have gotten resolved, especially since 2014.

For now, though, I need to give my trusty steed a wash, interior cleaning and routine maintenance, before week’s end. Tomorrow is my dearest’s birthday. I am glad to have been able to get gift and proper greetings sent. The Baha’i Spiritual Assembly and Red Cross need some time tomorrow, as well. So, too, does Bellemont, on Saturday, for a fire wise clean-up. There will be time to relax and ruminate on Sunday and Monday, being Memorial Day weekend.

The Road to Diamond, Day 171: Breathing Deeply

0

May 18, 2025, Grapevine, TX- Being a sultry day here, our family hike around Coppell’s Wagon Wheel Park was fairly short, but gave a good look at the copses of trees and tall grass prairie that define north Texas. Like any other ecosystem, this has its place in the overall realm of nature. So, we walked along various trails for about an hour. At one point, there was a sketch showing the wingspans of various area birds. The longest was the span of a great blue heron-7 feet. We each stretched our arms out and found 6 feet (Aram and me) and 5 feet (Yunhee).

Coppell Nature Center
Aram and Yunhee under a forest canopy.

The names of the trails are certainly fetching, and family-friendly. The park is also close to Home Base II, so my future visits here will feature walks in Coppell Nature Center, lying within Wagon Wheel.

Of course, no visit here is complete without a full complement of Korean cuisine. So, Yunhee prefaced this hike with a delicious lunch of Mandu-gook (Dumpling soup). Last night, we went to a fine eatery called Ham Ji Bak, in nearby Carrollton. Here is the scene, just before we started “tucking in”.

Jeonyok
Our dinner spread at Ham Ji Bak

This afternoon, we changed course and went to Old Town Lewisville, northeast of Grapevine, and enjoyed an hour or so at Perc Coffee House. It’s always good to get acquainted with spots that offer a relaxing vibe. Lewisville is a bit of a drive, but it’ll be worth further explorations. Besides coming from me, “a bit of a drive” must sound a bit hollow!

Tomorrow, I will head west again. Sportage is wanting another service, but I think she and I will make the rest of the way to Prescott and a Wednesday visit to the dealership will be soon enough. In any event, I will stick to main roads, the rest of the way. This has been another good visit.

The Road to Diamond, Day 170: Security

0

May 17, 2025, Grapevine,TX- There are many ways to hack into someone’s computer. It is one reason why I personally have despised the very word “hack”, which just means “shortcut” and is thus a neutral term. Fortunately, no one has hacked my electronic devices, and with the upgrades in security that my CySec adult child implemented today, it is even less likely.

We are each responsible for our own security, once past a certain age. There will always be those loved ones around us who will help some, but essentially from the time one masters “Look both ways before crossing the street” and “Don’t take things from strangers”, personal safety gets a new owner. When I was a child, I never mastered riding a bicycle until I was around thirteen, so I walked-a lot. I never counted my money in public, and was wary of anyone I didn’t know. Besides, walking kept me in good health, especially since I was no one’s idea of a star athlete.

In adulthood, that penchant for walking has translated into a love of hiking. I have done a lot of solo hikes, even in areas that others cringe over. The key there is to get on and off the trail before dark, though I have done some walks by moonlight. Coyotes have warned me that I was going too far afield, and I have heeded their “advice”. Other animals, from cattle to Gila monsters, have communicated with me, on certain trails, and giving them their preferred berth has worked nicely for all concerned. My favourite was the bull elk who bugled at me from the top of a cliff, far above my trail-apparently letting me know to not mess with his cows, which were also on that cliff top.

Technology has, in general, made safety a lot easier. I can certainly find my way around more easily, with its help, while maintaining what I learned about orienteering, in Fifth Grade. Those skills and a genuinely useful intuition, have resulted in my remaining out of harm’s way.

Lastly, I read today about people who have Williams Syndrome, a genetic condition which results in their seeing everyone as an instant friend, without the normative bonding or evidence of the approaching person being worthy of friendship. To be clear, I have regarded many, but not all, of those whom I have encountered over the years as friends, to a certain extent. Acquaintance has seemed like a rather sour term and enemy a rarely deserved sobriquet. I am discerning enough to know that I am not of the Williams Syndrome category, and I do have my clear boundaries.

So, as the most recent road trip nears its last few days, and I return to Home Base I for three months of service, taking stock of security gives me solace. I am being kept safe, on many levels.

The Road to Diamond, Day 169: Lone Star Beacon

2

May 16, 2024, Grapevine, TX- About thirty minutes after I had checked out of Days Inn, Parsons, TN, I was finishing up breakfast at Patty’s Restaurant, on the Shiloh Road, when the Days manager called. Seems I had left my bamboo tote bag there, so I went back and retrieved it, once the light breakfast was finished.

That was about the only snag between Parsons and Grapevine. That was a good thing, as this leg of the journey was one of the longest. A road worker ran across I-30, as I was nearing Hot Springs, fortunately with a 1/2 mile distance between us and no one behind me. There was a long line of stalled traffic, leaving Texarkana, but a few of us had been routed to a detour that sent us moving right along, until we crossed into Texas and had a relatively short wait to merge into the main line of traffic.

I stopped in little Hooks for gas, and to connect to Google Maps for the last leg to Grapevine, and Home Base II. A small group of people were gathered outside the filling station, discussing events that people just about anywhere might discuss, of a Friday night, exchanging views on what “she” ought to do about the problem “she” was facing. I wish the unidentified lady well. I found that I had another two hours and forty minutes of driving. Going through a fairly lightly traveled part of northeast Texas was not at all difficult. I just made sure that I stayed hydrated, and didn’t need as much caffeine as I once thought necessary, on jaunts like this.

A hard-charging guy came up behind me, at the turn into Home Base II. I just moved a bit to the right and let him go on his way. Some battles are not worth the turmoil. In short order, I was in my little family’s apartment. We discussed a few scenarios that may or may not transpire, between now and year’s end. One thing is certain: We each have the others’ backs.

The Road to Diamond, Day 168: Resilience

0

May 15, 2025, Parsons, TN- In the open garage of a country home, I set the box containing a plant, that was gifted by my hosts in Oley, PA to mutual friends who live about two hours east of here. As I was getting ready to pull out of the circular driveway, one of those friends pulled in on the other side. A joyful hug and fifteen-minute catch-up ensued. I learned that friend’s husband, suffering from a serious disease, is showing signs of resilience. Time will tell if he pulls through, though given his wife’s persistence and determination to treat the disease with natural medicine, it is entirely possible that he will.

My hosts in Oley said that my visits are those of encouragement. That does my heart good, as my energy is geared that way. It always has been my mission in life to help others realize their goals; my own goals, not so much, though being on my own, these past fourteen years, has tempered that self-abnegation, a fair amount. I suppose that is only fair.

I made a brief return visit to Broad Porch Coffee House, the most recent successor to Artful Dodger, the former Harrisonburg cafe where a couple of long-gone friends helped me get my bearings and reclaim my own worthiness as a human being, some twelve years ago. Broad Porch is a busier place than Dodger was, but I get much the same vibe. After a brief breakfast, I was on the way back south. The plant had to be delivered, today, and in one piece.

I checked out downtown Roanoke, a city I have pretty much bypassed on previous drives down the Spine. It, and Staunton, the next town south of Harrisonburg, would be worth a day or two of exploration each, on future backs and forths. From Roanoke, down through Bristol and the out skirts of Knoxville, plant and I continued. In Crossville, we found her new home, and the above conversation took place.

Now, I rest, in the crossroads of Land Between the Lakes and Natchez Trace. Not far from here is Loretta Lynn’s Ranch. As I now have a different mission, getting to my little family’s place in Grapevine, tourism is off the agenda. There’s a lot to do around Parsons, according to a fellow guest who frequents this motel, but I will save that for later, as well.

The bright orange flower and the resilient couple will keep on showing the world that life is ever about bouncing back-God willing and the creek don’t rise.

The Road to Diamond, Day 167: Staying on Track

2

May 14, 2025, Harrisonburg, VA- “Oley” the collie wanted my breakfast sausage links. She went without, though. Those are not puppy food, the tantalizing scent aside. My hosts in the town of Oley made sure that I was prepared for either game plan: Drive to Arlington National Cemetery, then down to the town of Deltaville, on Virginia’s Western Shore. The other plan was to stick to my tried and true drive, along I-81.

In the end, there was no visit to Arlington, or a stop at a Western Shore marina. There wasn’t any stop at Broad Porch Coffee-the old Artful Dodger, but that will be tomorrow morning. What did happen was a fair amount of rain, between Woodstock and New Market, along Virginia’s spine (I-81). There was also Gallery Diner, a Red Cross Microsoft Teams meeting and a few moments of relaxation, before two long travel days ahead.

I am watching Deltaville online, because of a dam there, which may breech. I am watching Greer and Eagar, AZ, two mountain communities that are under threat from an active wildfire. I am learning the process of sending a gift online, via a U.S. company, to someone across the Pacific. Ahead, lie a friend who is deathly ill, and who I hope to see tomorrow, and my little family, who are both hard at work, but will be off for the weekend, and my two-day visit.

There is a lot to track, but there always is, whether on the road or at Home Base. I am grateful for being able to stay…on track.

The Road to Diamond, Day 166: Preferences

0

May 13, 2025, Oley, PA- I was asked whether I prefer one family member over another, one generation over the others and, for that matter, one nationality of people over the rest. Basically, I do not indulge in any of that.

In terms of what the U.S. Vice President said, not long ago, about the rank order or priority of love that a person can show, there is something of a natural order by which one shows love. This, to me, is the truncated pyramid or perhaps the high rise structure, or even just a continuum, of caring and affection that I feel. Of course, I tend to myself and my own needs first, so that others don’t have to. My son, daughter-in-law and, in time, grandchild(ren) come next. My siblings and extended biological family follow, and on it goes through community, state and nation. The rest of humanity is hardly left out, though-dear friends live in several countries around the world.

I was asked whether I would have to choose one set of relationships over another. Each of the people involved know that I would not exclude them for the sake of those in another set. I have to divide my physical time as equally as possible, and there are tools for that. The use of technology makes such things much easier than they would have been say, even ten years ago. Being able to be in one place and deal equitably with people who are elsewhere is a godsend. I was able to sit here in a friend’s house, this afternoon, and meet with other friends in Arizona. I can send a birthday gift to a dear friend in the Philippines, without too much trouble, from the comfort of any given locus in the U.S.

Most important to keeping equity in relationships though, is deferred attention-and transparency. Those who have high emotional needs can be made to feel understood and comforted, without my having to give them day-long, or hours-long attention, to the detriment of on what else and who else I need to focus. Being able to meet individually with family pr friends helps to strengthen my bond with them, and underscores that they are important to me, in and of themselves.

These thoughts come to mind, as I sit contentedly in an old country kitchen.