Tag Archives: compassion

The Hana Chronicles: Month 8, Day 10

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Posted by on in children, collaborating, Community, Family, Historical, Inspiration, Personal Values, Social, Striving, Travel

August 31, 2026- Hana knows that her Papa is hurting a bit right now. My best friend in Prescott is dealing with a life-threatening disease. The person who did the work of ten people is now sidelined. It is a gut punch for me. I can only imagine what it must be like for her children and grandchildren.

My granddaughter has been trying to make me feel better, even as she has no knowledge of suffering, let alone the likelihood of death. I want to keep it that way, for as long as possible. So, we went on our stroller walk, this morning and I did a solo jaunt this evening, after dinner. Hana talked to me during our morning walk, looking happily at the trees and rocks around Russell Creek, and the solid bridge that pases over it.

That brings me to the other shockers- The flash floods that ravaged opposite parts of the world. Nepal and Tibet have been devastated by glacial breakage that led to multiple villages, on both sides of the border, being wiped off the face of the Earth. Thousands have been killed. There is likely more to come. At the bottom of the Grand Canyon, every bridge that crossed Bright Angel Creek was swept away by a torrent. 2 are dead and 15 people remain missing, Two tragedies, one almost unfathomable and one painfully symbolic.

HANA’S NOTE- I don’t know what dying means,but Papa looked sad when he talked with Daddy about his friend. I don’t want Papa to be sad.

YEAR IN REMEMBRANCE-2014 I wasn’t completely ready to travel overseas, but I went anyway. I promised my ailing father-in-law that I would travel to Normandy, for the 70th anniversary of D-Day and I did. He passed away, three weeks before that, and I did a boomerang journey to attend his funeral in New Jersey, return to Prescott for two weeks then go back to Newark, to catch a plane to Frankfurt-by way of Montreal and Ottawa. Four days in Paris preceded the D-Day events. I took in the Louvre, Versailles and Trocadero. I fended off some Roma “goldsmiths” and twice as many trinket vendors, most of them recent arrivals from French-speaking parts of Africa. A visit to Rouen brought me to the ruins of a church, where my ancestors had been baptized-right next to the spot where Joan of Arc had been burned at the stake. I spent some time in the dungeon where she had been held. Then came D-Day observances, of which I took in the daytime events and passed on a late night recreation of the landing.

Rennes, Mont St.Michel, Amiens, Lille, Bruges, Ghent, Brussels, Bastogne, Luxembourg and Frankfurt followed. Lastly, came Berga, where my father-in-law had been held as a prisoner-of-war, for the last six months of World War Ii. He was a Jew, and yet made it out alive, with American troops coming into the camp, right after the German troops had left. The area around the camp had a harrowing ambiance, still. Berga town, and nearby Jera, had the air of cities in recovery, having been part of the former East Germany, until 1989.

In October, I flew to Honolulu and met Aram and his ship, then took my place on what was billed a “Tiger Cruise”. Family members of crew joined the return to San Diego. I spent most of the time with Aram at his station and enjoyed the peacefulness of the open ocean. Whales and dolphins appeared alongside the ship, a few times.

I still had a way to go, in reaching stability, but I held my own on these long journeys. I also sold the house in Prescott, on behalf of my mother-in-law, sent her the proceeds, and moved into a one-bedroom apartment. The year ahead would be even more restorative.

The Hana Chronicles: Month 5, Day 26

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Posted by on in children, collaborating, Education, Inspiration, Personal Values, service, Social, Striving

June 16, 2026- Yesterday, Hana put a small towel across her back and crawled around with it., like a shawl. She did the same today. This afternoon, she put a small clean face wipe between her top and bottom incisors and looked up at me, with the cloth hanging from her mouth. Her eyes have a spark of mischief in them. The child has a sense of fun.

She also is showing more initiative, in trying to help, gently taking the feeding spoon in her hand, while not trying to grab it from me. She also puts her two hands around the feeding bottle, again not trying to take it from my hands, but just as a n extra pair. Her father was the same way as an infant and toddler-always trying to help where he could.

I will encourage these behaviours- both the humourous antics and the helpful efforts. Both are signs of a creative and intelligent mind. She is also showing a considerate, sensitive heart. When one of us sneezes or coughs, she looks at us with deeply concerned eyes, and will crawl over, putting her little hand on our arm or chest.

Today marks 57 years since I enlisted in the United States Army. I served in active duty for two years and six months. After that, I was released early to go back to college. The military, back then, gave me the discipline that I had not allowed myself to develop. I might have benefited, actually, from staying in longer, but then life would not have unfolded as it did. So, mistakes and all, I am glad things turned out the way they did, for the most part.

I am glad that Aram chose service in the Navy. It did him a world of good, and brought him together with Yunhee. Now, he has a solid sense of adulthood-and we have Hana.

Will Hana be encouraged to enter the military, when her time comes? If I am still here, and still lucid, as I have every intention of being, I will probably not encourage her to follow that route-but rather to follow another path of service-not because she is female, but because by that time (2043-4), we ought to be on the path towards civilizational correction. It’s all conjecture, at this point, but that is where I see things headed.

The Road to Diamond, Day 182: Heaviness

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Posted by on in Assistance, collaborating, Community, Family, impediments, Inner Struggles, Inspiration, Personal Values, Social, Spiritual, Striving

May 29, 2025- It was hard, somehow, to maintain focus during a meeting I attended this morning and through the noon hour. It wasn’t the fault of the presenter, or of the subject matter. The air was cool, so it was not that, either. There was just a heaviness today, that stayed with me, requiring a more concerted effort to get what I needed from the Red Cross training session-for which I was an assistant commentator, to boot. It lingered, even as I purchased a dinner item from a nearby pizzeria, for evening consumption, and as I later exercised on a recumbent bike at Planet Fitness. It wasn’t a physical issue-my blood pressure read normal and I was breathing easily. There had to be some deeper cause.

In this late hour, I am reminded that today would have been the 61st birthday of my late youngest brother, Brian, who died in 1994, just shy of his 30th. He would have been proud of my service to the community, albeit at a very rudimentary level, as his disabilities made communication difficult. Nonetheless, there was a very basic love about the child, and later, the man. It was in our interactions with him that each of his four siblings developed a compassion for those less fortunate. That has informed our social and community behaviours, as much as any experiences we each have had over six or seven decades.

Those who have left us will communicate in various ways. I think now that the spirit of my baby brother was reminding me that sometimes, life takes a gargantuan effort, just to get through an ordinary day. The heaviness lifted, as I sat and read some pages of a book on the ancient Mediterranean world. Brian liked to pretend to read aloud. He would surely have approved.

The Road to Diamond, Day 175: Connecting, Havening, but No Othering

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Posted by on in Assistance, collaborating, Community, impediments, Inspiration, Matters of Faith, Personal Values, Social, Spiritual, Striving

May 22, 2025- The road to resiliency is whatever length one makes it. Such was the first message at this afternoon’s COPE (Connection/Compassion,Optimism, Perspective, Emotional Intelligence) seminar, at Granite Mountain Unitarian/Universalist Church.

Connection and compassion are illustrated by acts of support, structural language (terms of endearment and understanding) and meaningful/joyful experiences. Public gatherings can be the forefront of the latter, but it is small, intimate encounters that make up the bulk of these. Consistency in supportive language is crucial-from affirmations of affection to words of gratitude. The facilitators, a married couple, offered their ingrained habit of thanking one another continuously-avoiding any tendency to take one another for granted. Finally, “me” is consistently replaced by “we”.

Optimism is signaled by confidence that comes from having met past challenges and a sense that we are building upon those successes. These can be small or great achievements. Self-regulation (breathing, healthy diet, regular exercise, proper rest) is a basic indicator of optimism. So are the practices of incorporating uplifting experiences,a positive forward outlook and a basic trust in a Higher Power. Havening is the process of self-soothing. Besides deep breathing, placing one’s right hand over the heart and left hand on the solar plexus is an example of havening, Another example is slowly passing one hand over the other.

Unity of internal and external perspectives is beneficial. The understanding that everything is temporary, whether positive or negative, encourages savouring the moment, an ethic of carpe diem, accepting that a painful day is no more permanent than a pleasurable one. One may choose to view a challenge as a portal, or see it as a hole. A broad perspective will let one view everything as sacred-whether it be a blessing or a hard lesson.

Emotional intelligence is marked by recognizing, naming and managing own emotions and recognizing those of others. Using emotional intelligence to address three basic human needs (Safety, satisfaction and connection) entails recognition that there is, in reality, no “others” but that we are all extensions of one another, in that regard. The “other side”, of conventional political and social mythology, has the same basic needs as those with whom one more comfortably associates. The key to social cohesion, then, starts with assisting one another, in getting those needs met.

The “rugged individualism” of the libertarian or conservative can meet the needs of some, while the “social contract” of the progressive or liberal can address the needs of a wider segment of society. The key to both lies in avoiding dogmatic adherence to one set of principles or methods of achievement.

In a time of uncertainty and challenge, resiliency is what will guarantee that our communities, and their members, survive and thrive anew.

The Road to Diamond, Day 35: New Song

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Posted by on in Assistance, Community, Inspiration, Matters of Faith, Personal Values, Social, Spiritual, Striving

January 2, 2025- The family enjoying lunch across the dining room from me extolled the virtues of the four-man crew who were tending the counter and kitchen. State 48 Barbecue’s owner was delighted at the good review, and pointed out that the men were hired, while working on rehabilitation. She makes it a point to place trust in those who are making an effort, in that regard.

I am most heartened that there are places that give people who have struggled a second chance. The bar, of course, must be held at a consistent level, and seeing the joyful, grateful attitude of the crew, I think they will make a go of it. Each of them is singing a new song, one of fortitude, and compassion for self and others. That attitude is reflected in the name of the home where they live. It is also reflected in the quality of the food. The owner herself sings this song of fortitude and compassion.

The reflection of one’s work as an act of service, indeed of worship, is a central tenet of many faiths and is continued in Baha’i tradition, as well. It has certainly made any work I’ve done, in the past forty years, a lot more meaningful. I struggled on occasion, to maintain focus, but on balance, the song has been one of harmony. Seeing this in the well-regarded businesses, where both workers and patrons are valued, just reaffirms my own commitment to keeping the bar high.

His Fierce Love

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Posted by on in Inspiration, Matters of Faith, Personal Values, Social, Spiritual, Striving

December 25, 2021-

The Carpenter did not skimp, on building His House of Love. Only the finest of materials, albeit obtained in an economical and judicious manner, were used in this endeavour. Those who demeaned His efforts were still welcome to enter, but they first had to wash themselves of the stains of doubtfulness and error.

The Fisherman did not refuse anyone who was hungry, offering His catch to all who showed up at His weir. Those who turned their noses up at His offering were free to change their minds and hearts, so long as they abluted their hands before partaking.

The Worshipper did not suffer those who turned the House of the Lord into a bazaar. He cast them out of the Temple, with the message that true Love is like a sword. It cleaves away the darkness of those sins which impair the soul and divide the people.

The Cross Bearer did not take umbrage at those who had been duped into believing He was a menace to the established order. He asked forgiveness for them, not out of weakness, but out of the strength that only comes with knowing of the true nature of Eternity.

The Messenger knew only compassion for the sick, the homeless, the destitute and the wayward. He cried for the errors of His followers, who conflated Faith in God with loyalty to the earthly powers. He appreciated the grand cathedrals, the sincere efforts to grow His flock and the devotion of even the most grievously ill among adherents to His Message. He also reminded one and all, that they must take stock of their thoughts and actions, day to day.

Such was the fierce love of the Son of the Creator.

The Slow Healing

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Posted by on in Assistance, collaborating, distraction issues, Education, impediments, Inner Struggles, Inspiration, Matters of Faith, Personal Values, Social, Spiritual, Striving

June 24, 2021, Carson City- Several years ago a person, who claimed to be an adherent to the belief in Progressive Revelation, nonetheless made comments about people needing to be “in their place”. At the time, I just agreed to disagree, quietly sensing that time and circumstance would change that person’s heart.

My father, a fervent believer in the free enterprise system and in the right of individuals to make, and live with, their own choices in life, passed those beliefs on to the four of us who were of competence. I give a bit more leeway to non-capitalist systems, provided they avoid the top-down authoritarianism, to which most Marxist nations have subscribed; but I digress.

At the meeting I attended today, the very same group, who years ago acquiesced to the notion described in the first paragraph, had advanced, by leaps and bounds, to a place of broader mindedness-recognizing the imperative that society embrace all of its ethnicities and show more compassion towards immigrants.

Thus is the way of healing. Thus goes the path to true reconciliation. As a kindergartner cannot, customarily, comprehend calculus, so can a person raised in a largely homogeneous environment not, without a full-range of life experiences, comprehend the vastness of humanity’s variations. A well-read person can appreciate this multivariance, to some degree, and one who is truly well-traveled, who has mingled with many different nations and ethnicities, can appreciate it even more. The basis, the foundation, for such understanding, however, is set in childhood and cemented by experiences in adolescence and young adulthood. It requires a solid spirituality, albeit of the person’s own choosing. Otherwise, the healing that one must undergo, later in life, is a slow, tortuous and sometimes painful path.

The gathering this evening was a vindication of all that Baha’u’llah teaches us, in His Writings, and all that ‘Abdu’l-Baha showed us, by the example of His life. The group will now find its way to a very special place, as will any person, or group of people, who embrace the healing.

What Is Always Known

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Posted by on in collaborating, Family, impediments, Personal Values, Service Activities, Social, Spiritual, Striving

May 9, 2021- One thing about the mothers, and mother-figures, whom we honour today, is that there is nothing that escapes them, at least at the deepest level. My mother knows, even a continent away, that I am essentially doing better than I have in a long time. She knows that there are a few challenges I face and a few people, some far away, who want to take from me, without giving back. She knows that my siblings are also, essentially, in safe places. Most importantly, she knows that her decision to adjust her lifestyle is the right one.

Baha’u’llah teaches us to be fair to self and others. Mom was teaching us that same thing, when I was the eldest of five. We were never deprived and when, in her humanness, she did not do the right thing by one of us, she made amends ten-fold. The lesson Mother taught, of compassion, has been one of two abiding truths that I have incorporated into my being. The other is to temper that with not being the foil of con artists and those who take full advantage of others,.

So have I balanced my life, and will, as I told another group of people earlier this evening, focus on building group cooperation. It was our family working as a team that got us through downturns and the challenges of caring for those members of our family who suffered from disease. It is our family working as a team that will bring us to say farewell to our family home of sixty-six years and guarantee that the woman we’ve always known has our back will know that we always have hers.

(In)tractible-Part I

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Posted by on in Assistance, collaborating, Community, distraction issues, impediments, Inner Struggles, Personal Values, Social, Spiritual, Striving

February 12, 2021-

So much of what remains to be resolved, in our world, seems insoluble. People speak of being depressed, mired in anger or even bored by “same old” requests and demands from others, day-to-day. Many of the same headlines get pushed, in the news cycle.

Allow me to post an observation: In reading just two friends’ posts on another social media site, this afternoon, I saw people about whom I care deeply, with one foot in the a land of compassion and justice, and the other in a place of suspicion and the denial of humanity towards people of a different point of view.

It is, simply put, this dichotomy, this lack of inward and outward unity, that keeps the individual, and thus the community, from addressing what truly matters. Unless and until we can truly, of our own choosing, put our eggs in the basket of the Oneness of Mankind, the same problems WILL continue to pop up, and put a damper on our days.

I am keeping this post, and its companion post on Sunday, short and succinct. In that post, the focus will be on two continually vexing issues, of which some of my fellows in Faith are aware, but about which they choose to complain, wishing the matters would just disappear. As my late wife said, “Standing at the foot of the mountain doesn’t put you at the top.”

Crawling,or Walking, Out of The Tunnel?

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Posted by on in collaborating, Community, impediments, Inner Struggles, Inspiration, Matters of Faith, Personal Values, Social, Spiritual, Striving

February 5, 2021-

I was gratified to see an extended family member write that she was moving on, from a climate of fear and distrust, to affirming her faith in God and country. To be trapped of one’s own accord, in a tunnel of false hopes and unfulfilled promises, is bound to lead to the depth of despair.

I’ve remarked in the past, that there is much to admire in both conservatism and progressivism. Placing value on hard work, a measure of self-reliance and pride in one’s legitimate heritage can see a person through a good many of life’s misfortunes. At the same time, embracing new ways of solving problems, being open to a wide variety of points of view and being inclusive of all groups of people can ensure that a person is never truly alone-even in the direst of times. What matters, regardless of one’s personal ideology, is a deep-seated respect for ALL life. Compassion must ever rule over transaction.

So it has been that I have opted for walking out of various tunnels of darkness and deception. Many have offered quick fixes to problems, false hopes for resolution of matters, in which my personal growth actually mandated seeing them through. It was cold and lonely in those tunnels-and the demons that did keep me company were worse than no company at all.

In the gathering light of day, and in the shimmering starlight, walking upright and looking straight ahead have rekindled strengths that I had nearly forgotten, whilst crawling about the tunnel of delusion. Those who maintain clear vision, and retain a healthy sense of their own truth, will be sources of untold strength-to selves and others.