Thanks, for Friends and….

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November 28, 2024, Grapevine- Today marks another instance of the latest date that Thanksgiving can fall, by U.S. custom. There is grumbling, in some quarters, that this shortens the Christmas season. I, though, am more than happy to have T-day fall on this day in November, because it’s my birthday, and sharing the day with our national community, in our biggest holiday of the year, is to me, a blessing.

There has been, of late, a mini-tempest, wherein a relatively small, but vocal, group has called for the day to be recast as “Friendsgiving”. People can call the day of sharing whatever they want. To me, thanksgiving is not about Pilgrims and Wampanoags, per se, nor about false promises and the resulting oppression.

It is about gratitude-for friends, yes, and for family. I am grateful for all, in Arizona, California, Texas, Pennsylvania, Massachusetts, Maine, all across the West and across the continent. I am grateful for progressive friends, conservative friends, Baha’i, Christian, Jewish, Muslim, Buddhist, Hindu, Wiccan, agnostic and atheist friends.

I like the company of my fellow veterans at Post 6; fellows in faith at devotionals, Spiritual Feasts and Holy Days; and my little family, whenever we get together, for meals, outings, board games and watch parties. My life is enhanced by the energy of children and youths, the drive of adults and the wisdom of elders. I treasure the company of the woman I love most, and all of our mutual friends, when I get to see them-either physically or online.

Of course, we must work, diligently, to address and overcome injustice. Let us, though, not replace one imbalance with another. Equilibrium is a delicate state and requires loving attention. It cannot be sacrificed for whimsical ideas, nor for the sake of a contrived sense of “purity”.

I am, as I turn 74, grateful for the Creator’s provisions-our food supply, paths to health, bounty of nature and all the varieties of terrain, bodies of water and living things that make our world such a treasure chest. I am grateful for our solar system and for the Universe, I am just grateful for being.

Happy Thanksgiving, friends.

A Year of Beauty; A Year of Release

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November 27, 2024, Grapevine- This was the year that Mom went home to Dad and to her parents, siblings and youngest son. This was the year that we lost Marcia, Michele, Cousin David, Johnny and Verne. It seemed like a thousand celebrities went home to our Maker, whether they said they believed in Him or not.

It seemed for a time, that we would follow Mexico’s lead, and actually elect a woman as President-but that was not to be. Other forces have to run their course, and marginalized people have to feel that they truly matter and are heard. Other marginalized people will need to keep making their voices heard. As a friend said, after the election, the true gap is between classes, not races. There is much to be said for that notion.

I went clear across the continent, to Newfoundland and St.Pierre/Miquelon. Later, it was time to go northwestward, to Vancouver Island’s west coast and to the Sunshine Coast of British Columbia. There was time, in between and afterward, to pay respects to the woman who brought me into this world, and to be there when she left it.

In autumn’s colours and light, I left this continent for the longest period of time since I spent ten months in VietNam, so long ago. A good part of my heart stayed in the Philippines and waits there for me to return, early next year. The call to duty in Home Base I is also strong. I was, and am, determined to make the most of time I have there, that the Love of Baha’u’llah will be felt more strongly in that swath of north central Arizona.

Small gaps were closed this year. I spent time in a place that was central to the first stages of the American War for Independence; honoured a First Nations people, in two Canadian provinces and two others, on the opposite side of the country; spent a Baha’i Holy Day in the first House of Worship built in the Western Hemisphere; visited the most temperate place in the Philippines, and the westernmost part of that country; paid the last money owed on two credit accounts. I went to the top of Astoria Column, and later watched “The Goonies”, which was set in that mouth of the Columbia River. I saw whales swimming in the wild. I overcame some lingering doubts about myself.

So now, 73 is saying goodbye, and its successor promises to usher in a year of fruition, in place of this year of effort and struggle. A bit of 2024 remains, and there are goals to be reached in December. I will think further on them, as 74 marches in, tomorrow.

Splurge

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November 24, 2024- This evening, we Baha’is celebrated the life of ‘Abdu’l-Baha, as the day which He allowed as a day to honour the Covenant, or agreement, between Baha’u’llah and His followers, and by extension His life as the Center of that Covenant. He did not want an excess of attention on His life and accomplishments, other than what He was able to show us, as an example of how to live.

I splurged a bit on the refreshments for this event, always anticipating a crowd. When a smaller group shows, and there is a lot left over, there are plenty of avenues for sharing the excess, so in the end, it is money well spent. Coffee Klatsch and the Soup Kitchen are tomorrow, and most of the food left over will be shared at those events. The rest goes in the freezer, while I am in Texas for Thanksgiving and my birthday.

There are some things on which it never hurts to splurge. Refreshments for special events are often in that category. Help for the poor, as a friend in the Bicol region of the Philippines is offering now, in the wake of the Quad Typhoons, is another such path. Love for one’s children, which my friend, K, showers in spades, is up there. Love for people in general, and a certain person in particular, is at the top of the list.

Like the water in a tsunami, that which you give comes flooding back, though not in a damaging way.

Pre-Approved

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November 22, 2024- An earnest woman offered advice to her long-time friend, regarding how to handle a nettlesome and persistent critic. He left the conversation, quietly, and headed home. A short time later, he called her and announced he was cutting ties with her, saying she was being unfair to the other person. Her own cage rattled, the lady called another friend, who told her to not pay heed to the man. “You are not worthless; you are pre-approved”.

We all know about “pre-approved”-the ploy by certain credit bureaus and financial institutions to get us to pursue lines of credit and personal loans, at what look like generous terms. Most often, a closer will come in, hem and haw and bring the deal to a good, old-fashioned shut down.

We humans are, however, pre-approved by the Creator, in the truest sense of the term. We each come with strengths, offerings, challenges to meet. Many of these are shared with others, but always in a way unique to the bearer. Each of us can make a special mark, or collaborate with those around us to create a tower of strength.

None of this depends on the approval of those on the outside of the process. Monday Morning quarterbacks can be useful in suggesting ways to correct errors in a given process, but they are not entitled to dismantle the effort, nor are they in a position to drag those who are in the vanguard of the action through the mud.

Post-mortems are best carried out by those who have given their all. Their skills, their energy, their willpower is pre-approved.

The Face of Unity

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November 20, 2024- “The core of a child’s education starts with the mother.” Upon my uttering that statement, a chorus of naysayers erupted with their buts, howevers and whatabouts. Methinks they missed the word core. A father does indeed have to stand alongside a mother, and augment the child’s learning. Grandparents and other adult relatives are the second layer of learning reinforcement. Teachers and neighbours, the “village” that it takes to raise a child, are the tertiary layer, and on outward it goes. No, friends, the entire village cannot be on top of the child, all at once.

Several of us were gathered in a comfortable Southwestern-style home, to ponder the question, “What does a unified community look like?” Much of the time was spent in putting forth, and sifting through, various and sundry individual points of view and reflections on life experiences that emanate from life in an often harsh and imperfect world.

Unity starts with respect for, and from, the individual. It proceeds outward, only when one has self-respect and when genuine respect for others emanates from oneself. That respect has to be a two-way street. A political conservative, even a reactionary, cannot advance real unity, without having respect for liberals and progressives. The converse is equally true.

Unity continues with each one having what my father called the courage of your convictions. True courage involves recognizing that what I think and feel does not have to be what anyone else thinks and feels-and the converse is also true. I can be equally at home talking with the members of my American Legion Post, or with conservative Christian friends, as I am among Progressive groups or those committed to social justice. Their opinions are not their souls.

Unity necessitates that the group be able to separate fact from fancy. It also goes back to respect: No adult has the right to live their life through their child, or even through their spouse. We live for our loved ones, and with them. Arriving at a point of unity means talking with the significant other, with the offspring, ascertaining everyone’s wants, needs, dreams and seeing what is most important for the group, and for each of its members. Penny’s mantra was “Consultation is finding out.” I can think of no better way to put it.

Do you think that submitting to the dictates of a strongman will solve the problems of the community, or of the nation? How does that affect the future of your children-both in the immediate and in the far future? Do they not have a say in the matter?

Want to invest in bitcoin? How will that impact your family or group of friends? Should you not discuss this fully with your near circle?

Wish you had a son, instead of a daughter-or vice versa? Does that give you the right to talk him/her into transitioning, even before full adulthood, or even before full puberty? How will that impact the life of that precious soul-tomorrow, next year, and ten, twenty, fifty years from now? Is that not an informed decision to be freely made by the person in question, as a mature adult?

It is well-known that I have deep feelings for someone who presently lives far from me. I also have deep feelings for my little family in Texas, for my siblings and extended family, across the continent and for all manner of friends in this community, and beyond. Any decision that I make, that impacts the life of any one of them, will actively take into consideration their thoughts, feelings and sensibilities. That is my path of unity.

The impact on unity of our decisions is large and small. Slight disunity is like a pebble in a shoe. Major disunity is like a brain tumour, or an abdominal stone. Most, if not all, of it can be avoided by consultation. The greater the chasm, the longer the bridge.

We did not arrive at a picture of what unity looks like, but we did leave the house with an overall sense of respect for one another. We did arrive at the realization that we are each primarily spiritual beings in physical bodies. We will proceed from there, in our deliberations.

Headwinds

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November 13, 2024, Carson City- It was quite blustery, throughout the day, though the winds were temporarily lighter, as three of us prayed at Michele Smith’s grave site and placed a few items at the otherwise as yet unmarked resting place. ( I will place another item or two there, tomorrow morning, and the family will put a tombstone up, in due time.)

Afterwards, we went to one of their favourites, and mine: LA Bakery. While enjoying a great brunch, Red (the family members) and Purple (yours truly) shared what we appreciate about those on the right-hand side of the fence, while agreeing to disagree about what is to be appreciated about their opposite numbers. I can see excesses on both sides, but I also see that the differences between those two sides are exacerbated by the wire pullers, who are the only ones standing to gain from division. These are the latter-day Aeoluses, generating the headwinds that have come from focusing on the negative elements of both right and left.

Both lies being told about high-profile figures, and manufactured issues, are coming from dubious sources. The whole bathroom issue is best handled by the establishment of unisex rest rooms-themselves an outgrowth of the need for opposite sex caretakers of disabled adults to be able to take their loved ones and charges into a toilet, without annoying other men and women. (I was on the ground level on that issue, when needing to get my late wife in and out of rest rooms, in the 2000s.) The issue of biological males and, to a lesser extent, females competing on sports played by members of their transitioned sex could conceivably be handled by establishing leagues and conferences specifically for transgendered people. (No, it is NOT the same as the Negro Leagues of the first half of the Twentieth Century.) There are probably enough transgendered adults to make that doable.

The bar of social behaviour could stand to be raised. Profanity is a choice. It is not necessary, and certainly not enjoyable, to be subjected to cussing in music, on movies and cable television programs, almost on a continuous basis. Dumbing down of language reflects and exacerbates lowered expectations about thought and behaviour. Who benefits from such? Why, it is the wire-pulling class. These also are the prime beneficiaries of the class discrimination that so often is mirrored by racism and misogyny. Notice how deft the self-styled elites have been at tarnishing the reputations of genuinely heroic figures, and at pointing out to struggling lower and middle class figures just how awful the “other side” is.

The only real “them and us” are those who are honestly just trying to get a leg up in the world (both left and right,and everyone in between) versus those who want to keep the “great unwashed” in their places. This dichotomy is beginning to generate real headwinds. Expect them to gain in velocity and strength, the more the controllers try to keep the status quo.

Third Thoughts

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November 12, 2024, Carson City- So often, when faced with novel situations, the mind goes through several gyrations-like the “lassie” in the nursery rhyme, who went “this way and that”. It can be confusing to onlookers, but it is frequently the only way a person can figure out the best way to work through the situation. Second thoughts can be overruled by third thoughts, as is the case with my dearest, right now.

So it is, with K and me, with regard to the possibility of my moving to be closer to her, in late Spring of next year. Some discussions will take place, through messaging, over the next three months, and in-person, when I next go back to the Philippines, in February. Stay tuned, and nothing is carved in stone.

I went to visit with the family of a long-time friend, who passed on while I was in Manila, last month. They spoke a lot about her earlier life and about their sibling’s adoption, so many years ago. They are showing cohesion as a family, a tribute to all the work their parents did to keep things together. Constant consultation kept peace in the house, when there were differing opinions.

While I was driving up here from Beatty, earlier today, I got a Bluetooth call from a friend who wanted to discuss a long-standing issue between him and another friend. The conversation revealed deeper issues than the matter being raised, and I urged the friend to be bold and reach out, in an unobtrusive manner to the person viewed as causing the problem.

Second thoughts often lead to third thoughts, and to resolution.

A Sane and Intelligent Patriotism

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November 11,2024-

“Let there be no misgivings as to the animating purpose of the world-wide Law of Baha’u’llah. Far from aiming at the subversion of the existing foundations of society, it seeks to broaden its basis, to remold its institutions in a manner consonant with the needs of an ever-changing world. It can conflict with no legitimate allegiances, nor can it undermine essential loyalties. Its purpose is neither to stifle the flame of a sane and intelligent patriotism in men’s hearts, nor to abolish the system of national autonomy so essential if the evils of excessive centralization are to be avoided.”- Shoghi Effendi, The World Order of Baha’u’llah, pgs 41-42.

Relatively few people, deep down, are hateful towards their families. There are always disagreements and sometimes outright quarrels, but let an outsider attack a member of the brood, and the wagons will circle.

Go up the chain, towards community, state and nation-and the same process will play out. There are nations where the populace is restive, and outwardly disdainful of their government. Let someone from outside the group try and enter the fray, however, and there will be a united front.

Our feelings towards our families, communities, states/provinces/prefectures/oblasts, and our nations are each a reflection of how we see ourselves. An emotionally and physically healthy person has positive self-regard, love of family and healthy appreciation for, with a degree of loyalty towards, her/his surroundings. It is second nature for a human being to defend self; for parents to stand up for children, and vice versa; for siblings, and even cousins, to band together; for neighbours to support one another, in time of need; and for the citizens of a nation to defend their homeland.

In this day, it is also imperative for the human race to stand together, in the best interests of our species as a whole. This does not mean militarizing against a still-ephemeral race, or races, of extraterrestrials. It means coming together to devise solutions to threats against our collective existence. Some are the results of natural cycles and others are wrought by human activity. We are a vast multitude of imperfect beings. Every one of us has made mistakes, and many of those errors have had ill effects on others, besides ourselves. Collectively, by dint of excessive self-centered behaviour or just in the course of trying to live an ordered life, we have exacerbated, ramped up the effects of a natural increase in global temperatures-yes, that global warming. It would happen anyway, because it’s a natural cycle, but our actions, as a species, have made it worse.

So, what is a sane and intelligent patriotism? To me, it is simply a love for all the units to which one belongs, a willingness to band together with others, and to work, tirelessly, for the good of the homeland. Our homeland, in addition to our nation, is Planet Earth.

“The earth is but one country and mankind its citizens”-Baha’u’llah, Lawh-i-Maqsud (Tablet of Intention)

Things That Need to Be Over and Stay Gone

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November 7, 2024- This is just a list, of those social constructs and practices that I think should be relegated to the scrap heap, and stay gone.

Slavery; sex trafficking; spouse beating; child beating (not mild spanking, beating); beating of animals; coerced sex; drug trafficking; less-than-living wages; intentional spewing of heavy motor vehicle exhaust; intentional littering and illegal dumping; nuisance litigation,especially by the wealthy against the poor; intentional poisoning of soil and water; individual possession of military-grade weapons and ordnance; denigration of any country, ethnic group or organized community; parentally-induced sexual transition of anyone under the age of 18; persecution of any bona fide community of faith in the Divine.

A few of these are bound to rankle some and irritate others. So be it. Some of these are bound to remain within the scope of individual choice. So be it. I just think that, all in all, we will have a much better world without these examples of inhumanity, or of people living through others.

The Difference Made

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November 3, 2024- On February 24, 1981, I called my mother and told her that I had become a member of the Baha’i Faith, letting her know the basics of the then-138-year-old religion. The most important of these, to her, was that use of mind-altering substances, including alcohol, was prohibited. Baha’u’llah teaches that presence of mind is essential and that anything which interferes with such mindfulness is to be avoided.

He was born Husayn Ali, to Mirza Abbas-i-Nuri (Mirza Buzurg) and Khadijih Khanum, on November 12, 1817, in Teheran. Despite being a member of a noble family, Husayn Ali eschewed a life of privilege, and became associated with a new religious movement, based on the teachings of al-Bab, which taught that “One greater than Myself” would appear and unveil teachings that would in turn unite mankind. When al-Bab was imprisoned, and subsequently executed in 1850, Husayn Ali became a leader of the inchoate Babi movement and was Himself incarcerated in a dungeon known as Siyah Chal (“Black Pit”). While there, shackled among a hundred or so others, many of whom were violent criminals, and with no personal space, Mirza Husayn Ali had a vision. A maiden-like presence appeared to Him and revealed that it was He to Whom al-Bab was referring. The title Baha’u’llah was conferred on Him, in that moment.

Over time, through three exiles, the last of which brought Baha’u’llah and His family to Akka, in what is now Israel, and through the ministries of His eldest son, ‘Abdu’l-Baha, and of His eldest great grandson, Shoghi Effendi, the Baha’i Faith grew to several million people, spread over all six inhabited continents. When Shoghi Effendi died in 1957, without leaving an heir, the Faith was briefly led by a council of stewards, known as the Hands of the Cause of God, until a nine-member Universal House of Justice was elected in 1963. This last was in accordance with the terms of Baha’u’llah’s Will and Testament, also known as Kitab-i-Ahd. The Universal House of Justice has been elected by the members of Baha’i national assemblies every five years since 1963. It remains the Head of the Faith.

Getting back to my own situation: In 1981, I was at the tail-end of a long personal struggle. Baha’i teachings have gradually guided me to shed lots of personal baggage. It has not been a walk in the park. Change involves a lot of work-physical, emotional and spiritual. As with any transformative effort, there are successes and there are setbacks. I was blessed with the love of a good Baha’i woman, until her passing in 2011. I am blessed with a son who has grown into a strong, well-balanced man. I am also blessed with many friends, across the United States and around the globe, including a woman who has captured my heart. I am, most of all, blessed with the transformative power of a Messenger’s Teachings that have given me the strength to shed baggage that has bedeviled me since childhood.

I have taken ‘the road less traveled and that has made all the difference’. (apologies to Robert Frost)