Category Archives: Personal goals

The Long Game

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Posted by on in Assistance, children, collaborating, Community, impediments, Inner Struggles, Inspiration, Personal goals, Personal Values, Service Activities, Social, Spiritual, Striving

December 29, 2023- I went to breakfast at a truck stop this morning, served by someone who came out with an interesting take on life: ”I work hard for my money, and I don’t want to take on any squatters.” The person mentioned paying down a mortgage, so there is a house in the picture. Those who earn their keep, in my view, have a legitimate claim to determining how their money is shared-including, to some extent, contributions to the tax rolls. Where we run into trouble is in not communicating to one and all, the concept that each of us is responsible to contribute to the common weal. There should be no layabouts, when others are working. There also should be no denying an able-bodied, willing worker a chance to contribute to said common weal. 

A few hours later, I went to a favourite establishment, in the same town, to get a plate of enchiladas, most of which has come back with me to Home Base, in the ongoing regimen of portion control. There was a new server on board, my surrogate daughter having decided to go back to college, with her husband’s support. The new lady had her children with her, as R always did. She showed the strength of the home and work juggler-managing to be server, cashier, busser- and mother. The regulars know this, and encourage her to keep on-at whatever pace she finds workable. Someday soon, her “tween” daughter will find this out as well.

These thoughts came back to me this evening, as I ponder a few relationships that have arisen, over the past few years. It is a childhood fantasy, that friendships sprout up and stay together, with little time elapsed or effort made to strengthen them. The first fantasy is a product of the brevity of a child’s life, up to that point. The second is usually corrected, with the tasks that need to be jointly done, even in fairly uncomplicated play. One who doesn’t do his/her part in the clean-up, at the end of the playtime, is shunned, sooner or later, by the others. Someone who is not trustworthy is figured out by playmates, and likewise finds a lot of alone time.

I have had a few lapses of judgment, and done what I could to make amends. I am willing to bet that we all have, at one point or another. There are no robots in this crowd. With my newer friends, one in particular, only time and consistency on my part will breed trust. It is with this acknowledgement, that the long game-frequent and clear communication, generosity of thought and action-and being present, both physically and mentally, over a period of years, is now in progress. These relationships are worth it. I hope yours also work well.

Consciousness Rising

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Posted by on in Assistance, collaborating, Community, Inspiration, Personal goals, Personal Values, Social, Spiritual, Striving

December 22, 2023, Tolleson, AZ- For a long time, I have wondered why I can sense things so intensely, as they are happening, and sometimes before they happen. Extra-sensory perception seems a trite phrase, anymore. I have dreamed of people coming into my life, before they appeared, seen other people’s deaths, as much as a year before they passed, and sensed, as many of you know, instructions from the spirit world, as to what course of action I should follow, and where.

This evening, I joined in several consciousness-raising activities, starting with a Cacao Ceremony, which honours the humble cacao pod and all it brings to humanity-from cacao powder itself to fine chocolate. The origins of the ceremony are west African, but it is now conducted in parts of Central America as well. It reminded me of a documentary I once saw on tribal people in south India celebrating the ripening of wild mango, with drumming and singing.

Speaking of drumming, I was so spirited in my drumming, with a circle this evening, that the cover of the drum stick flew off, and will now have to be secured with tighter string! I haven’t felt that much energy in a drum group, in a long time. There were about eight of us drummers, plus two didgeridoo players and two mouth accordionists. It was a joyful noise!

A lady showed us a game, in which tarot cards are read and an activity is described on the tarot card. The group then does the activity. Everyone is a winner,in this game. I met the leader of a consciousness raising group that meets in Prescott. She invited me to join, and I may well take her up on that, as well as inviting my Hiking Buddy to join as well. 

All in all, this final activity of solstice time has strengthened my understanding of my own heightened consciousness, going forward. It also reminds me of Convergence at Arcosanti, which I’ve missed, these past three years.

On Boundaries

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Posted by on in Assistance, collaborating, Community, distraction issues, impediments, Inner Struggles, Inspiration, Personal goals, Personal Values, Service Activities, Social, Spiritual, Striving

December 20, 2023- One of my online writer friends posted, this morning, on the subject of boundaries. Going over both the setting of one’s own boundaries, respecting the boundaries of others and handling those who invade one’s safe spaces, she sparked my own review of past and present behaviours in this area.

When rebounding from Penny’s passing, I gave vent to delusions of having feelings for a couple of women. The first, gently and firmly set me straight on the matter, we parted on civil terms. She is still a friend- and thankfully, is happily married to a fine man. The second is also still one of my best friends, here in Prescott, having set her boundaries early on.

Then, there were those who invaded my space: A homeless man, who did not ask for much more than rides here and there, and assistance with getting established in another town. I was able to help him, and after a year or so, he dropped off the radar screen. A few years later, a well-meaning friend tried to “fix me up” with a woman, who had serious emotional issues and who quickly turned out menacing, even using her thoughts to try and wreck my life-health-wise and in terms of employment. I lost my job, while she had parked her RV in a public area, a block from my apartment. Curiously, on the day that I was fired, she got in the rig and drove away. I cut off all contact with her, have recovered and am living nicely. There was a disturbed young man, who messaged me, continuously, for six months, often sending up to 50 voice messages a day, most of which I deleted, though I listened and tried to understand his issues. I cut off contact with him, after he sent a message attacking the memory of my late wife. Finally, there was the African entrepreneur, who initially appeared to be making a good faith effort to build a life for himself and his family. I connected him with agencies and organizations that could offer real, constant assistance-but he became attached to asking for more money from me-for matters that were not directly connected to the initial investment. I cut him off completely, after about four months of begging on his part.

Now, I have strong, enduring friendships, in a good many states and Canadian provinces, and in three other countries. There will be, I’m sure, more to follow. I have strong feelings for a good woman, who I met two months ago, and am taking care to honour her boundaries and not coming across like a bull in a china shop. The fact that we are an ocean apart makes this a bit easier, but when I see her again, the same respect will continue.

Boundaries, like other aspects of a disciplined, organized and centered life, ensure that one may live in happiness and success.

Inside Out

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Posted by on in Assistance, collaborating, Community, impediments, Inner Struggles, Matters of Faith, Personal goals, Personal Values, Service Activities, Social, Spiritual, Striving

December 18, 2023- A spiritual leader among First Nations peoples referred, at a meeting this evening, to the difference between religion and spirituality. He noted that spirituality comes from within a soul. Religion, as it is often practiced, is an external force that is either voluntarily adopted by the soul or is imposed on it, by prevailing social forces. He further noted that it does not have to be this way, pointing to those religious teachers who stress leaving the adoption of their Founder’s teachings up to the individual, through an emphasis on individual investigation of truth. This places the responsibility, in my view, where it belongs. Force only works as long as it is applied. When it is removed, those who have lived under a yoke, so to speak, will go off on all manner of tangents-including campaigns of force all their own.

It took me nine years of investigation and internal wrangling, before I recognized the Baha’i Teachings as the Divine Message for this Day. Others are free to follow their own path, and I count, as dear friends, men and women of all faiths-from Fundamentalist Christianity to Wiccan, and in-between. Baha’is tend to know my heart better than most, my Christian siblings being an exception. My point here is that, like a house that is built by its owner, the spiritual fortress of a soul is best which fits the soul’s true needs-and only that soul can really know what those needs are. 

As we move forward, through a time that is fraught with challenges, and filled with opportunities, both scheduled and serendipitous, let’s remember to show reverence for one another’s dignity and worth. Let us be open to knowing another’s true heart-inside and out.

Awakening

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Posted by on in children, collaborating, Community, Education, Family, Historical, impediments, Inner Struggles, Inspiration, Matters of Faith, Personal goals, Personal Values, Service Activities, Social, Spiritual, Striving, Travel

December 17,2023- As I sit here, writing, I am watching a film, entitled “Awaken“. In this, First Nations people, from across British Columbia are talking about their memories, and impressions of their current lives. There is talk of how the elders have given them the tools they need to sustain their lives, of how they seek reconciliation and the ability to forgive their oppressors. There is a revelation of how connected they remain, to nature, to animals.

I will, as ever, be connected, in this coming 8 Universal Year- a year of action, both individual and collective, with the Indigenous people across North America, in the Philippines and in other countries that I will visit in September and October. Dineh and Hopi figure in this next year. So do Tohono O’Odham, Maya and Shoshone (in Nevada), Tewa, Towa and Keresan (northern Puebloan), Yakima, the various nations of Vancouver Island, Sunshine Coast,and southern inland British Columbia and the Miqmaq, of Atlantic Canada.

I will be connected to children, youth and adults of all ages. I will be connected to women and men alike. Voices are getting stronger, and the people are awakening-a higher level of consciousness than the insipid term “woke” can ever signify. Where as the latter is a slogan, a cliche and a diversion, being used to distract people, by inflaming passions, the former-the rising, the increased understanding, will be deemed dangerous, by those who regard themselves as powers that be. 

The people rising is not a threat to those who sincerely want to help raise the standard of living, who truly value the input of those they serve, of those with whom they live. The people rising is only a threat to those who seek to dominate, to eliminate, to exterminate. Most of these are individuals and claques, whose consciousness is several steps removed from the lives of those they want to quash and destroy. The truly great leaders of history, and of our own time, have warned us, repeatedly, of this: Chief Joseph, of the Nez Perce, Frederick Douglass, Jose Rizal, Mohandas Gandhi, Martin Luther King, Julius Nyerere, Kwame Nkrumah, John Hume, Rabbi Judah Magnes and Ali Abu Awwad, Tanya Tagaq and Autumn Peltier, Neville Bonner and Adam Goodes, Xanana Gusmao, Marcos Terena, Milagro Sala, Feliciano Valencia, Miriam Miranda, Wilma Mankiller. Many are the names you may not recognize. Search for them; learn of their efforts for humanity.

My small path will be concerned with the well-being of my friends and family (wherever they may live), Home Base community, state and nation-and across Planet Earth. Some self-care is always in play and my mahal na isa (dear one) is ever on my mind and deep in my heart. For all of us, though, the primary need is to stay awake, and look out for one another.

These are my thoughts, as I watch Awaken.

Here is another clip that expresses the sentiments in the above-mentioned film. https://vimeo.com/128567591

Reiterations

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Posted by on in collaborating, Community, Family, impediments, Inner Struggles, Inspiration, Matters of Faith, Personal goals, Personal Values, Service Activities, Social, Spiritual, Striving, Travel

December 12, 2023- My horoscope for today says I will reveal my true colours. Truth be known, I’ve been doing that for some time. Historically, I am the world’s worst liar. So, even though I have said a lot of this before, “Double-Twelfth” is a good day for reiteration, to begin wrapping up the cosmic year that started with “Double-First”, a year of introspection and casting out remaining demons, for many. Ahead is a year of action, of putting thoughts into observable energy.

I have been active this year, certainly, and having mentioned those events and processes elsewhere, let me say that next year-the next two years, at least, will see even more of this. After some thought and comparison of costs and routes, yesterday, I am revising my route to an area that is on the itinerary for next Fall ( I will talk about the location on this platform, when it is prudent), to be prefaced by a two-week stop in the Philippines. Unless I hear from friends in Phil that this is not advisable or necessary, that is the plan.

My true colours just reflect love. What I feel for my angel in the spirit realm will never fade. Last week, I got a message from her, that my feelings for a woman now are perfectly acceptable before the Divine-and that I should treat that lady like a queen. It is true that love is the basis for all life-so the colour of love is my most basic hue.

I’ve been tripped up by grief and rebounding, especially for a few years after Penny’s passing. I’ve been hobbled by deep-seated attitudes and fears about myself, that have been brought to the surface and let flow out. Baha’u’llah wrote that love should not blindly lead to error. My thought is that such “love” is not the true kind. Now, in maturity, I see myself as a worthwhile human being-and get a lot of affirmation from those around me, in real time and online. Now, in maturity, I am no longer anxious or overbearing about expressing myself.

That brings up the matter of anxiety in general, and of the need for giving others room to work out their issues-and live their lives. My friends, especially my most beloved, deserve time and space to take care of their personal work. My son, and those I love as if they were my own children-and grandchildren, deserve the confidence and trust that I place in them, to show just how they will move forward. What I offer one and all is that confidence and trust. If you fall down, brush yourself off and go forward-keeping the lesson learned in mind. If you need a hug, it’s here. I will not, though, stand idly by and let you wallow. We are all better than that.

Ahead is a year of building-of a stronger Faith community, of reassurance for members of an extended family (and thus two stops in Carson City, next July) and of another extended family member further north (and thus a stop in Victoria, the same month), of fulfillment of promises both recent and of longer-standing, and of increasing my level of self-confidence-though not to the level of callousness or arrogance.

It’s time to go and tie up a couple of small loose ends-every day has a few such matters. All happiness on “Double Twelfth”, my friends.

The Blue-Leafed Vase

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Posted by on in Assistance, collaborating, Community, Entertainment, Family, impediments, Inspiration, Personal goals, Personal Values, Social, Spiritual, Striving

December 9, 2023- “Now, it seems to me some fine things have been laid upon your table, but you only want the things you can’t get.”-Don Henley and Glenn Frey, “Desperado“.

Two ladies, looking like twins, focused their attention on the titular vessel, and the fresh-cut flowers within. The crystalline surface, and the shimmering blue leaves, take up a small space on the bar at Rafter 11, yet for those ten minutes, the vase dominated the room. A fine singer, named Duane, was belting out covers of songs from the ’50s (Fly Me to The Moon) to the 2000s (Nothing Compares 2 U), yet for that brief time, his efforts were background noise.

The ladies, who were sitting at the bar with my friend, Harry, said they had adopted the older gentleman-a fine thing, as he thrives on the friendships the rest of us regulars offer him at Rafter. Turns out, they themselves have been best friends for 35 years, which they said in response to my observing that they looked like twins. Proximity can rub similarity off on people- something Penny noted, years ago, when we started to ape one another’s habits and proclivities. These ladies were both bleach blondes and about the same height. They dressed just differently enough from one another to be distinctive, and there was enough difference in their facial features to hint at fraternal, rather than identical, twinship. As it happened, though, they were each from a different coast.

When they left, my attention went back to Duane’s music, especially as his vocals pretty much drowned out anything Harry was trying to convey. My older friend left, as he was feeling the day was spent. Duane sang several songs that brought thoughts of my new friend, far away, but ever in my heart and mind. Desperado was among them.

That raised the thoughts of gratitude-or its opposite. I am very much immersed in the former: I have been blessed, a thousand times or more, by all the friends who have come into my life, especially since 2011, and before that, by the woman who gave the best years of her life to me, and whose spirit still spurs me on. There are women and men fifty and older, who are like siblings. There are younger adults, from older teens to forty-somethings, who are like my beloved children. One and all, no one is going to hurt or impugn any of them, in my presence, without a swift rejoinder. A few women from the first group have expressed romantic love for me, and while I haven’t felt the same towards them, their well-being is of high importance.

I am grateful for all the fine things that have been laid upon my table-daily experiences, far and wide as well as local; vivid and exciting, as well as quiet and mundane. I am grateful for the challenges, which have led to refinement of some rough edges. I am grateful for the first that was laid upon my table-the deep love of supremely committed parents and the sibling love that has branched from that. I am grateful that the child we raised is a full-grown, clear-headed man, and happily-married. Now, I am grateful for the friendship of a lady far away, and all the encouragement I feel from the small coterie to which she belongs.

We’ll see where it leads.

Messages at Graveside

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Posted by on in Assistance, collaborating, Community, distraction issues, Family, Inspiration, Matters of Faith, Personal goals, Personal Values, Social, Spiritual, Striving

December 6, 2023- I sat by her grave, on this forty-third anniversary of our meeting for the first time, and asked Penny what she thought of my recent trip to the Philippines, and of friends I made there, one in particular. The messages that came back to me were a surprise, of sorts, and a comfort.

After getting a clean bill of dental health, I made my way to the cemetery, and having taken along the chair I am sitting in now, I sat and said a few prayers, then began my silent conversation.

“We sent you there and brought her to you;”, the message came, “there is no reason for your aloneness to go on and on.” I asked about my friends here and elsewhere. “Each of you have a role to play in one another’s lives, but you are not responsible for everyone’s happiness. If they are upset with you for growing your friendship with someone else, that’s on them. Just treat them with grace and patience, as you always did me.”

The spirit encouraged me to keep on with the path that she and others have helped me set for myself, since 2011. Indeed, she has said, more than once, that our life together on this physical plane was not meant to continue any longer than it did. I had growth to do, which required my being alone for a while. That growth, through the love of friends and family, and through the pain of physical and emotional attacks of others, has largely been achieved.

So on I go, and take each day as a blessing, just as I ever have.

Fulfillment

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Posted by on in Assistance, collaborating, Community, Inner Struggles, Inspiration, Personal goals, Personal Values, Service Activities, Social, Spiritual, Striving

November 29, 2023- I watched as a man and his little daughter ran, hand-in-hand, towards their car-no winner, no loser, only a team, only a connected pair. Just beforehand, I was greeted by warm smiles from virtually everyone at Planet Fitness. I felt aglow, so the ambiance was a mirror.

Today was a satisfying day-with two acts of service either completed, or finished to the extent that was doable. Over 100 people sent birthday greetings, from Monday night until today. Every one of them was affirming. One, from a new and treasured friend, was the most affirming of all. The royal treatment I enjoyed in Grapevine was the icing on a very rich cake.

I think of all who bemoan the lack of love in their lives. Quite often, it is intertwined with lust-which can negate love, if it takes precedence. It invariably is intertwined with self-centeredness, something with which each of us struggles, at least intermittently. I have yet to meet a happy person who views others as means to an end. That goes as much for a “high-powered” social misfit as it does for one who sees self as “involuntarily celibate”-and there are women, as well as men, who cast themselves in that gruesome bit of darkness.

There was a time when I was in that sad realm-in the late 1970s. Penny came along and dispelled that state of affairs. Even with her passing, my mien has been one of gratitude and deep love, at any of several levels, for so many people. I cannot view anyone as a stepping stone. I learned that saying I love a woman means seeing her as a complete human being, whose central mission is not satisfying my urges and meeting my needs. We met each other’s needs, together. That is the standard going forward, for any relationship that might develop.

So, as I sit here at Home Base, and give thanks for everyone of my family and friends, I also give thanks for the opportunities that come my way to help others uplift themselves.

Seventy-three

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Posted by on in collaborating, Community, Family, impediments, Inner Struggles, Inspiration, Personal goals, Personal Values, Service Activities, Social, Spiritual, Striving, Travel

November 28, 2023, Grapevine- So it has come to another re-set, another “trip around the Sun” completed. All that happened during the past year has only made me stronger, and no less committed to what a friend in Manila told me, during my visit there, and my most trusted family members reiterated today: My mission is to love those around me and help them live better lives.

There was another friend, I met in Manila, who would fit very nicely at my side, but I am not quite sure how well I would figure in her life. So, my path goes on, and as the cliche states-“If you love something (someone), let it (her) go. If it (she) returns, so much the better. If not, it (she) was never meant to be yours in the first place.” That’s happened a few other times, over the past twelve, and the ladies are still my friends.

Between now and November, 2024, there are six journeys, three short and three long. Next month, and again in January, take me to northern New Mexico. The first is customary-a Santa Fe and Taos-centered post-Christmas tradition, with a possible errand of mercy. The second will find me at Ghost Ranch, for a week of service.

February will take me to San Diego and, briefly, to Orange County-another emerging tradition. Ocean Beach, especially Samesun Hostel, is practically Home Base #3. I have to remind myself that I am NOT staff, and can be only just so much at home, particularly around some of the more officious staff people. Still, it’s a marvelous place to spend a day or two.

May, and the first week of June, will be my Back East time-with a return to Cape Breton Island and Newfoundland. It will also be post-Covid catch-up time, with a few friends in Indiana, as well as family visits to Maine, Massachusetts and Pennsylvania.

Mid-July to the first week of August will see two visits to Carson City, as bookends to another Vancouver Island trip, and long-delayed visits to BC’s Sunshine Coast-and Four Worlds International Institute.

That brings me to Journey # 6, which will find me in a part of the world I’ve not been in before. Details will come, as the time for the visit gets closer. It will take in the latter part of September, until November 1. Suffice it to say that I have promised friends in that area, that I will visit them, for several years-and intend to make good on this, God willing.

Here in Arizona, there will surely be many opportunities for continued service-and visits to southern Arizona, in late January and to both the South Rim and Jacob Lake (weather-permitting) in mid-March. Early July, after the Fourth, will be time on Hopi, just before I head up to Carson City.

Of course, next Thanksgiving, which coincides with my birthday, will be right here in Home Base #2. It will be another milestone, well worth celebrating.