Category Archives: Personal goals

Healing Energy

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Posted by on in Assistance, collaborating, Community, impediments, Inspiration, Matters of Faith, Personal goals, Personal Values, Service Activities, Social, Spiritual, Striving

November 13, 2022- I felt some change-of-seasonsitis coming on, last night, so I did what I always do in such cases. I took a spoonful of elderberry syrup and crawled underneath a bundle of covers. The covers helped me sweat whatever it was out. In turn, this allowed me to attend breakfast at the Legion Post, host a Zoom call and join another, work out at Planet Fitness and enjoy a fine meal with my Hiking Buddy.

It’s been worse, in the past. Some years, change-of-seasonitis kept me in bed, for 24 hours. If it were COVID, I’d probably be in bed for a week to ten days. So far, though, that hasn’t happened. Having O+ Blood may be responsible for that good fortune, though that immunity may be an old wives’ tale.

Mostly, though, I credit healing energy for the relatively good track record. Part of it comes from doing devotions every day and the other part comes from acting on those devotions. We talked about that in the first Zoom meeting, this morning. Thanksgiving, gratitude, has to be sincere-not perfunctory, if one wishes to genuinely partake of what is good in life. This sincerity should be in place for everything from answering a daily “Good morning, have a nice day”, on social media to paying one’s fair share of taxes, when the time comes.

It also involves being patient and flexible-things which have attached themselves to me, over the past three decades or so. After all, everyone, in their own space, is facing challenges that have nothing to do with what anyone else is facing. So, we can all send out healing energy and adjust our schedules to help others, when the occasion merits.

I’m grateful for each person in my life, even if I can’t give certain people what they seem to want of me. I am appreciative of what they give to me.

The First Snow

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Posted by on in Assistance, collaborating, Community, impediments, Inner Struggles, Inspiration, Personal goals, Personal Values, Service Activities, Social, Spiritual, Striving

November 3, 2022- It mostly danced in the air, before fluttering to its melting place, on the still warm dirt and asphalt. A crew is working diligently, to put in a sidewalk, along the south side of Goodwin Street, between the American Legion Post and Prescott Public Library. Snow was just a minor distraction, for them and for those of us who were going about minor business. I chose a rather salty, but bracing, bowl of chili from Olde World Bakery, for lunch. It was hot, though not spicy-and that was okay. It was a good counter to the unseasonable cold outside.

I awoke this morning to a wintry feeling inside myself, tapping into the strange energy that has been afoot since last week’s attack on the Speaker of the House’s husband. Violence should never be the butt of jokes, but then, neither should a disability, a debilitating disease or even a person’s physical attributes. Such humour only delineates the teller’s, and audience’s, lack of maturity. A while later, after getting myself together, doing devotions and checking the news, I got an e-mail asking that I serve as a Poll Chaplain, in the city of El Mirage, west of Phoenix, on Tuesday afternoon and evening.

Tuesday, November 8, is also the day of a full moon and of a total lunar eclipse. Cosmic guides say that this year’s eclipses have the energy of those which took place in 2004, and thus unresolved matters from that year may arise again this year, for resolution by way of the growth one has undergone since that time. 2004 was part of the time when I was starting to see Penny decline, and starting to deal with a few personal demons. Those have been defeated and expunged, over the past eight years. I will, though, be more cognizant of any residue that needs to be removed and let flow out. The same will be true of each year going forward: Eclipses may bring out old issues from eighteen years prior, and any spiritual learning I have acquired in the interim may be put to use, in dispersing the old energy.

Tonight, the snow has ended, and more seasonal weather lies ahead-with perhaps rain on Election Day. I’ve already voted, but will be there for those, in El Mirage, who are experiencing anxiety or distress.

The Carson Loop, Day 9: No Conference, Just Connection

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Posted by on in Assistance, children, collaborating, Community, Entertainment, Family, impediments, Inspiration, Matters of Faith, Personal goals, Personal Values, Social, Spiritual, Striving, Travel

October 23, 2022, Carson City- The would-be hostess apologized for being too ill to let us enter. The devotional, scheduled for this afternoon, would also have fit the definition of community conference, which is an integral part of the Baha’i plan for the nine years 2022-2031. We can focus on building community, strengthening relationships, with all people.

Leaving that residence, the four of us, two children, their grandmother and me, headed instead to a Mexican-style ice cream parlour: Michoacan A Pedir de Boca. It was cold outside, but no matter- I was more than glad to treat my hosts to some of the best confections to come out of the Mexican state of Michoacan.

They next decided to head to a nearby WalMart, usually not my idea of a good time, but with kids, anything can become fun. Most of the time was spent in the crafts section, with a bit of food shopping at the end. The 3.8 year-old is into clocks and bells. He spotted a red numerical analog clock, and was able to tell the time. So, it became his, along with a Pre-Kindergarten activity book, covering a variety of learning skills. His older sister, who has been like a grandniece to me, from the day she was born, and whose birthday is tomorrow, will get a few books to pique her interest. For V, though, the main thing she wants from anyone in her life is connection, and the knowledge that she means a lot to those around her. That is a given, and will remain so, as long as I draw breath.

It has only been a huge life-affirming element for me to have been connected to this family, since the mid-1980s. Penny felt the same way. They are, collectively, among three such clans, besides my own biological extended family, to whom I have an ineradicable tie. I can see, because of the strength this has given me, that the number of such families will only grow, as time goes on.

The Carson Loop, Day 8: Being Ourselves

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Posted by on in Assistance, children, collaborating, Community, distraction issues, Family, impediments, Inner Struggles, Inspiration, Matters of Faith, Personal goals, Personal Values, Social, Spiritual, Striving

October 22, 2022, Carson City- There was big news out of Grapevine, this afternoon. Aram received his Chief Petty Officer pins, and will now serve in that capacity, in the U.S. Naval Reserves. He will continue to work on his Baccalaureate-and he will earn that, as well. We are a determined lot, we Boivins, as were/are our Fellman relatives.

My day here in Carson was spent with an equally determined bunch, the Smith/Carrillo/Sandoval extended family. The running conversation centered on something especially dear to my heart-the right of each person to be self. It was pointed out that most of the difficulties facing society, both here in the United States, and globally, stem from failure of people to accept each other as they are. Much of this, in turn, seems to come from personal insecurity, and as was pointed out, in another conversation, earlier this week, the notion of zero sum; if one person, or group, achieves or gets something, others stand to lose what’s theirs. This line of thinking has fostered everything from civil wars to the begging culture that arose from colonialism. It was certainly behind the brief episode of screaming and yelling that occurred last night, while I was walking along, and minding my own business. It is behind sibling rivalry, oneupmanship and people talking over each other, or interrupting someone who has the floor, and is speaking in measured tones, or haltingly.

It took a very long time for me to value who I am. I made a lot of progress in that regard, over the course of my 29-year marriage and, thus far, 34 + years of parenthood. I have had precious little trouble accepting everyone else, for who they are, but myself? It’s only, really, been since 2014, that I have been 100% okay with me.

My extended family members, one in particular, stressed that this concept is actually one of the primary keys to the growth of a peace culture, to wit: Parents should lay off pushing their children to follow a narrative that is primarily designed to fulfill the wishes of the parents, and not their own. This affects everything from mistaking a phase in the child’s life for an indicator of his/her destiny to fulfilling, for the parent(s), a long cherished dream, which is NOT necessarily the child’s own, to the attitude that so many have towards people who disagree with them, even on relatively mundane matters.

The consensus of our conversation today was: Let us each be, and love, ourselves.

The Carson Loop, Day 7: Brushing Off Gnats

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Posted by on in Assistance, collaborating, Community, distraction issues, Family, impediments, Personal goals, Personal Values, Service Activities, Social, Spiritual, Striving, Travel

October 21, 2022, Carson City- The truck with a “Black” flag slowed as it passed and the visibly angry passenger screamed out the window: “Get out of this town!” The truck kept on going, and so did I, walking to Ming’s Chinese Restaurant and Sushi Bar. I got my combination fried rice and egg rolls, enjoyed a few cups of hot jasmine tea, and remembered old times in Phoenix, Saugus and other places with good Chinese cuisine. I most often opted for fried rice of some kind, or buckwheat noodles. Tonight, carrying leftovers, I walked back to the motel. The gnats in the truck had been brushed off, and I had no further trouble from anyone.

The day as a whole was uneventful. Breakfast at Holiday Motel was cereal, muffin and yogurt, with “of-course, coffee”. I left Winnemucca around 11:30, then stopped for lunch at Lovelock’s Cowpoke Cafe, where a bustling lone server took my order, wiped tables and delivered soft drink orders to three tables-almost in one fell swoop. He was soon joined by three women, one of whom helped for more than ten minutes. I’m not sure what the other two ended up doing, but the food was good and the people all seemed happy.

I settled into America’s Best Value Inn, called my extended family here in Carson and made tentative plans for the next three days. Visits to a nice new home of one branch of the clan, a devotional and a birthday party will be on tap. The best news: Aram has completed his Chief Petty Officer training, for the Navy Reserve and will receive his rank tomorrow. I have a hard-working family, all around, so the various successes don’t surprise me at all.

Sharing

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Posted by on in Assistance, collaborating, Family, Inner Struggles, Inspiration, Personal goals, Personal Values, Social, Striving

October 14, 2022- Once upon a time, three of us went trick-or-treating.

We were never out of each other’s sight,

stayed clear of any house whose lights were off,

and had no worries about bullies trying to raid our stashes.

When we got home, all three stashes were dumped on the dining room table.

Mom and Dad went through the pile, with fine toothed combs,

looking for signs of tampering.

They never found any, but I am grateful to this day that they did this.

I was raised to share, to not hoard.

“This is myyyyiin!” seldom, if ever, came out of my mouth.

If it did, the soap bar was at the ready.

Grown, a long time ago, I still share-my time, my energy

and, to the extent that is prudent, my money and my thoughts.

I try not to overshare. Friends and family have enough going on.

Being a burden to anyone is not my style.

Economy Kick

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Posted by on in Assistance, collaborating, Community, Family, impediments, Inner Struggles, Inspiration, Personal goals, Personal Values, Social, Striving

October 12, 2022- When we were kids, there would occasionally be times when Mom would announce to us that the family was on an economy kick. That was about the extent of our involvement in family finances, but we knew that costs were outweighing income, and not to ask for anything extra. We got three meals a day, without fail, the house was comfortable and well-kept, and the clothes were always clean. Not much else really mattered, even to me, in the throes of autism, of which I knew nothing.

I had to manage a household, myself, during Penny’s decline, and through being frugal, managed to keep 3-6 people fed and comfortably housed, even while working through Chapter 7 and the uncertainties of the housing crisis, combined with medical costs. The economy kick came, almost with its physical counterpart- when an Arizona state employee came to the house and demanded I turn over Penny’s care, and her benefits checks, to the state. It didn’t happen.

Every so often since, frugality has been my answer to the forces of greed and deprivation, when they stage assaults on our well-being. I know that the financial markets, being global entities, are not cash cows, so when they get raided, I know to tighten the belt. This is what I am doing now, though it may not look like it when I head up to see friends in Nevada and Idaho, in a few days. The thing is, I don’t cancel plans to visit people, just because the powers that be are trying to take us all down a notch.

I do keep my spending to a dull roar, and am quite happy even sitting in the apartment, watching shows and reading. A foray or two to Planet Fitness, or to the neighbourhood park, works nicely, as does a walk downtown. In time, these ebbs will return to being flows, as they always do. Someday, too, the controllers of the purse will realize that prosperity for the masses of people does not mean they themselves must go without. It is not a zero sum game. In the meantime, I will continue use my funds wisely, as ever.

Common Ground

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Posted by on in Assistance, collaborating, Community, impediments, Inner Struggles, Inspiration, Personal goals, Personal Values, Social, Spiritual, Striving

September 28, 2022- One of my family members, and a high school friend, let us know they were safe and well, as Hurricane Ian made its slow move through southwest Florida, for several hours today. The sometimes contentious state and Federal governments are on speaking terms for this one, and there is no daylight between the arrival of the storm and that of Federal aid.

There are a few troublemakers trying to disrupt things- a bogus article claiming that President Biden has “abandoned” Puerto Rico, with the theme that “a whole week has gone by, and nothing has been done.” Sorry, but the Federal Emergency Management Agency has no drive-through window. It usually takes three weeks to a month before tangible results can be seen and felt. Just yesterday, funds to help Mora County and Taos, New Mexico recover from the wildfires of May and June, were approved by Congress-meaning that those who felt abandoned by FEMA will shortly begin to get actual relief.

The larger picture is that when disasters like those mentioned above, or in Alaska, or further afield in Pakistan or the eastern Caribbean, happen, we feel a genuine desire to help. I am somewhat indisposed to physically go to Florida right now, owing to a commitment to be available for two Social Action prep courses, between now and the end of December. These are Friday morning classes, online, so work of any form would be disruptive. I trust that there will be a multitude of people going to help-with the Florida Emergency Management director telling people to go through official channels, when volunteering, and not to just self-deploy.

The big picture, though, is in seeing that we all are standing on the same common ground-and in times like these, no one gains from throwing stones at others, including government workers.

Mean?

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Posted by on in Assistance, collaborating, distraction issues, impediments, Inner Struggles, Personal goals, Personal Values, Social, Striving

September 23, 2022-

The complaint was registered: Why are people so mean? The response was offered: What makes you call them such? The retort: No one gives me what I want!

I am glad to have been raised with a work ethic and to be able to hear “We owe you nothing!” , without sulking or arguing. The same people, after all, do reward me, handsomely, for doing the job that I was hired to do.

This makes it hard for me to identify with someone who does little or nothing, and finds people mean.

Looking Past the Shrillness

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Posted by on in children, collaborating, Community, distraction issues, Education, impediments, Inspiration, Personal goals, Personal Values, Service Activities, Social, Spiritual, Striving

September 21, 2022- The call came, with about fifteen minutes left in the class. The tone was furious, and decidedly personal. It was clear that the caller felt let down and that in her mind, the rest of the day was about damage control. The students carried on, and did a fairly good job at completing the assigned task.

It was actually all about process, procedure-and will have scant effect on the learning of those particular students. I know little about the caller, so maybe other parts of her life were not going well today. It doesn’t take much to trigger a tirade, these days.

It was, all in all, a nice day. I was working with a group of children who I particularly treasure. The classes accomplished a lot, with the second and third groups following the procedure that was reiterated to me, albeit in angry tones. I choose to look past a person’s rage, because when it’s all over, we will both be standing in the same spot. So long as there is no harm to children, or other innocents, I walk away.

There will, I know, come a time, maybe as early as next Thursday, when I will face that person again. I will not be swayed, one way or the other, by anything she has to say. At this stage of my life, it’s all about the children and teens, and their progress, their well-being.