Category Archives: Personal goals

The Road to Diamond, Day 87: Home Stretch

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Posted by on in Assistance, collaborating, Community, Family, Hiking and Nature, impediments, Inspiration, Matters of Faith, Personal goals, Personal Values, Service Activities, Slow Food Prescott, Social, Spiritual, Striving, Travel

February 23, 2025- “Are you having fun yet?”, asked the random man standing at a corner, as if on guard. “All night long!”, I replied, “Have a nice night”, and kept walking, as someone striking up a conversation in the dark usually wants one of two things-neither of which is good. “Good answer”, he called from behind me. Hearing no footfalls afterward, I continued on to Home Base I, at an unhurried pace.

Days and nights, in general, around here offer a consistency. One accomplishes as much as one wants, with as much, or as little, help from others as is welcomed. That is the measure of a proper Home Base. It is a village that raises children. It is a safe place for those whose only wish is to grow old in peace. It is a forum for Right and Left alike. It is the recipient of my attention, for much of the next six months, as we anticipate a particularly challenging fire season, followed by a monsoon period, the strength of which has yet to be determined.

I will have journeys during this time: Southern California (March 10-13); Nevada (March 25-30), part of which will most likely be spent with Filipino friends who plan on visiting; eastward (May 5-23), to visit with family and friends, in the Midwest, Northeast and South. The rest of the time will be spent with my teammates in Red Cross, Farmers Market, Slow Food-Prescott and my faith community. I will get in more hikes and, given the cutbacks in National Forest personnel, be more given to taking drives to monitor abandoned campsites- shovel and jerry can on hand, to put out any lingering smolders. I will be at Coffee Klatsch most Monday mornings and Soup Kitchen most Monday evenings.

Our national government is, by default, summoning more of us to focus on the well-being of our local communities, and it may be quite surprised at just how many people care deeply-and how much they care. The last time I was this focused on Home Base was in 2020, during the midst of COVID, and I had a lot of company, between here in Prescott and in Alexandria, Louisiana, (the latter due to hurricanes that didn’t care there was a pandemic afoot.)

September will bring the seal to this Home Stretch: Farm-to-Table Dinner is returning on September 6. I will be there as a volunteer, before (world conditions permitting) heading to Europe, and possibly East Africa, for the rest of September and most of October. In the meantime, my focus is as described above.

The Road to Diamond, Day 84: Mixed Messages

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Posted by on in collaborating, impediments, Inspiration, Personal goals, Personal Values, Social, Spiritual, Striving

February 20, 2025- On the one hand, Doc says that I have the constitution of a 45-year-old. I’ll take that for as long as I can keep it. On the other hand, my skin needs a few tweaks. I will go through the process of getting those treated, though thankfully, I don’t have anywhere near the horror blotches of the 2010s. Just a few small bumps is all.

We all go through the day and get some mixed messages. I got a few during my recent time in the Philippines. Now, though, I am getting much more clarity from my friend. We are still messaging back and forth-and the messages are straightforward, both ways. As with friends here in North America, our communication is honest, caring-and yes, loving. I feel blessed that everyone on my radar screen has my best interests at heart, and I, theirs.

Mixed messages come about when the messenger is not sure of self, let alone about feelings towards the recipient. There is, more essentially therefore, a primary duty to not send mixed messages to oneself. I have had to face this as often as anyone-wanting things that aren’t there, in an imperfect, phenomenal world. The solution to the latter is to get to work, and so I have.

Coming full circle, maybe this is the reason for my clean bill of general health. Proactivity reflects one’s work ethic.

The Road to Diamond, Day 80: Two Views of Life

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Posted by on in collaborating, Community, distraction issues, impediments, Inspiration, Matters of Faith, Personal goals, Personal Values, Social, Spiritual, Striving, Travel

February 17, 2025, Manila- I left an umbrella at Glorietta Greenway Mall, in Makati. Someone who needs it will be out of harm’s way. I am not leaving my heart here. Out of the blue, K told me, this evening, that she thinks I need to serve the American Red Cross, which means staying in northwest Arizona. I will not make a knee-jerk decision on the matter of my future, yet. That will wait until the time between March 1-16. Part of the deal is that I need to prove to myself that I am able to set up a shelter from scratch, in the simulation exercise on 3/15.

The reversal of my relationship here is nothing new. On the one hand, I have not really felt really accepted as a life partner, completely, by anyone. It took a long time and a lot of work to secure my marriage, and only after 20 years or so was it a fait accompli. I wouldn’t have ever given my wife less than my all, and I never once considered abandoning her. This time, not much is lost, though it would be awkward to return to Manila to live permanently.

The other side of the coin is, unrequited is unrequited. There are women to whom I have not reciprocated a romantic interest, so maybe this is all a trade-ff, or cosmic payback. Most of them have, over time, remained my friends, and K, after a fashion, will likely see me in the same light, albeit from a distance.

Some people, usually men, see their partners or spouses as servants, chattel, part-time interests or outlets for frustration with life. Such people don’t show much in the way of self-respect, so it stands to reason they would not know how to treat others in a decent way. That doesn’t make it right. I have at least built an ethic of standing firm for the rights of others, even if they hold me in disregard or disdain. The Divine, not mortal man, has infused each creature with worthiness. We have yet to approach that sense of worthiness, in our views of one another.

I will head back to the United States, tomorrow evening, by way of Hong Kong. Chapter Two of this unnerving, but vital, year, will start fresh, on Wednesday morning.

The Road to Diamond, Day 79: Affirmations and A Temple Site

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Posted by on in Assistance, collaborating, Community, Inspiration, Personal goals, Personal Values, Social, Spiritual, Striving, Travel

February 16, 2025, Manila- Two of the adults, of whom I spoke yesterday, have offered me a place of residence, in a city about an hour south of Manila. This gives me a landing place, once I am able to draw down my time in Arizona. That could reasonably be accomplished, in a caring and dignified manner, by the end of May, at the latest. There are organizations about whom I care deeply: Red Cross, Prescott Farmers Market, Slow Food-Prescott-and the Baha’i Community, in which I want to help foster and nurture leadership. There are friends who will never leave my heart, who need to know that they have nothing to do with my moving. I have made it crystal clear who the impetus for the transition is. She is still very much my primary focus, aside from my little family, who themselves would be cause for returning to the U.S., at the drop of a hat. I will have quality time with them and other family members, in early-to-mid May.

All these things come to mind, following my first visit to the site of a future Baha’i House of Worship for the Phiippines. It is in the city of Antipolo, about 17.6 km (10.9 mi) east northeast of Manila. There was a gathering for the election of a delegate to the Baha’i National Convention for the Philippines, which will be held at the end of April. There was the usual fantastic pot luck lunch (adobo, inasal and creamed cauliflower were abundant-as was white rice, of which I took only a small helping.) There was spirited, but always respectful consultation-most of it in Tagalog, so I understood only small snippets, but I could tell the civil and elevated nature of the discourse, by watching body language. K was busy elsewhere, but it was enjoyable to hang out a bit with a couple of her family members, and get to know them better. The vibrant gathering of 45 people was welcoming and supportive of my considering living in their country. Children were free to play at their own developmental games. Dogs, cats and goats wandered about the grounds, interacting with people-mostly for scraps of food, though they are all well-fed by the caretakers.

Here are a few scenes of the Temple Site grounds.

Gathering site for a small business meeting, future Baha’i Temple site, Antipolo, Rizal, Philippines
Fruit tree grove, Baha’i property, Antipolo
Gathering of participants at Baha’i Unit Convention, Antipolo

After the meeting, as we drove back to Manila, it occurred to me that I was becoming more familiar with the roads around the Metro area. I could even help navigate a driver, if asked. Just don’t ask me to drive in the Metro-there are too many motorcyclists, coming every which way.

The Road to Diamond, Day 74: Options Arise

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Posted by on in collaborating, Community, Inspiration, Matters of Faith, Personal goals, Personal Values, service, Social, Spiritual, Striving

February 11,2025, Manila- Someone with experience in condominiums looked at the sheet which outlines amortization and pointed out everything that one gets when purchasing a condo. He then offered an alternative, the details of which must remain private, for now. Suffice it to say, the option would be completely above board, fair and would meet my relatively simple needs. It also met with my loved one’s approval. (She was less than thrilled with the condo idea. To be clear, the living arrangement on which I am working now is for me alone. My friend has her own place and any change in our status would be after I get established.)

It is said that any problem that arises contains the seeds of its resolution. The above is a case in point. It is my nature to consult experts, when confronted with something that leaves me like a deer in the headlights. When I’ve followed that practice, novel situations have turned out well. The few times I’ve tried to muddle through on my own have been disastrous. My gut always knows the difference.

I have also learned to practice consultation in relationships-be they platonic friendships or more intimate. Penny taught me that skill. Most of my relationships since have gone well. The few that imploded went south either because I was delusional or the other person had a hidden agenda-or two. K is the real deal, so our consultation is spot on, each and every day. Consultation always generates options, as well.

Some will be disappointed in the choices I make, but in case of the business matters, they will have factored in the possibility of getting ‘No’ for an answer. In the case of the people who want me to take on one task or another, I will work with them to make sure someone else of capacity is able to take on the duties. No one of us is irreplaceable.

Stay tuned. Dull moments are rare, this year.

The Road to Diamond, Day 73: A Pause for Reality

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Posted by on in collaborating, Community, impediments, Personal goals, Personal Values, Social, Spiritual, Striving

February 10, 2025, Manila- I went shopping, this afternoon. Looking for a way to settle here, in an intelligent, practical manner has run into the realities of urban finance. I will discuss this further with K, and at least I have a safe, secure Home Base waiting, if the whole plan here turns out to be an impractical mess. I have a duty, to my departed parents, to my little and extended families, and to my beloved, to never again be a burden on anyone. So, with no money having exchanged hands, I am glad that my expedition this afternoon and evening has given me insights.

Long story short-while monthly rent here is fairly cheap, housing entrepreneurs favour “rent to own” systems, which include a doable down payment, followed, however, by a monthly payment that exceeds the average American pensioner’s total monthly income-at least in Metro Manila. No thank you, unless I win the lottery stateside, and even then, it’s the principle of the matter.

I am not shamefaced, to tell you, my readers, this, only a day after being so sure of my Plan 1. I did say, yesterday, that events on the ground this year could change on a dime. Things will likely proceed organically, in quite rapid succession, between now and next Tuesday, as well as for the rest of this year. K and I will continue to have honest, heartfelt conversations, about a number of things-and life will go on nicely. Stay tuned.

The Road to Diamond, Day 72: Realizations

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Posted by on in Assistance, collaborating, Community, impediments, Inspiration, Personal goals, Personal Values, service, Social, Spiritual, Striving, Travel

February 9, 2025, Manila- A kindly woman said something that has occurred to me several times, but has slipped to the background of my thinking, with regard to my friendship with a special soul here. It is service together and enjoyment of just being together that matters most, in any relationship. The whole romance and courtship element that is so important, to so many, even among us seniors is actually of lesser importance to K and I. The longing to be together, to do things together, is very strong-as strong as it was with Penny. It does not, however, come with strictures and caveats, per se-other than a sense that I get from K, that I actually commit to being here for more than a few weeks..

Tomorrow, I will go with a mutual friend to look at a place where I might rent a condominium at a monthly rate, looking to live in this area for a year or so. If the place seems reasonable, then all the systematic changes that I would need to make in my life would be effected from the time I return to the United States, in the middle of next week (2/19) to the end of April. It will perhaps discomfit some in Home Base I, and elsewhere, but I haven’t felt this strongly about anyone, nor felt such reciprocal energy coming from the person, since 2011.

Unless things go drastically south in the next ten days, I know that this is the course I want to pursue. It’ll mean working with the Red Cross to train a team of Disaster Response volunteers for northwest Arizona, during March. It will mean putting some household items up for sale and giving much of the rest away, in early April and taking the rest to a storage unit. I would bring only two or three bags of items with me. It will mean a schedule of 9-10 months here and 2-3 months’ travel in the United States or other parts of the world.

It will also mean being readily adaptable, in this age when affairs large and small can turn on a moment’s notice.

The Road to Diamond, Day 66: Not The Same Old Stuff

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Posted by on in Assistance, collaborating, Community, Education, impediments, Inner Struggles, Inspiration, Personal goals, Personal Values, Social, Spiritual, Striving

February 2, 2025, Manila- It was hot here today. I am far from the cold hills of western Pennsylvania, so there is no anticipation about what Punxsutawney’s groundhog will “prognosticate” about the course of the winter. Ditto, with respect to the forecasting rattlesnake of the Sonoran Desert. I am in a place of never-winter.

February 2 is, at least for me, a day to wrestle with my own feelings of being “less than”. I don’t know where this subpar self-concept came from or who might have set it in motion. I know that some, on both sides of my family, struggled with their own self-worth. Growing up, and even through the course of my marriage, those closest to me were put off by my self-criticism, to the point where, on a few occasions, I was someone with whom they were “making do”, tolerating.

In time, I have learned that in order to counter such diatribes, I have to do more than tolerate, or make do, with myself. I am up front, with the person I love most now, about my struggles. Though we are far from sure as to which direction our friendship will go, she is far more understanding and supportive than many were in my past. Looking back, they had their own self-doubts and struggles; so, they could not be of much help.

On the bright side, our communication is much better than the channels I had with those I loved, in bygone years. So, despite my lingering misgivings about self, I know that those will not be fed from outside of me. K and I will be friends forever, and as with some others at Home Base I and across the globe, we will always have one another’s back. My self-concept will not get in the way of being here for others. I want what is best for those I love and that also goes way back.

Unlike Bill Murray’s hapless Phil Connors, in the film Groundhog Day (1993), I don’t have any need to loop counterproductive attitudes and behaviours, in order to achieve what I either think I desire or genuinely want. So, today’s sitting in on a group that was mostly speaking Tagalog was actually time well-spent, as hearing a language other than English, for an extended period of time, leads to internalizing the tongue. I found this to be true of Spanish, French, Korean-even Navajo, Hopi and Persian, to some extent. I can at least pronounce words in print, having heard them spoken for a time.

That is just one way in which my time here is proving to be helpful, on a personal level. I look forward to experiencing others.

The Road to Diamond, Day 61: Return to (Maybe) Forever

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Posted by on in Assistance, children, collaborating, Community, Inspiration, Personal goals, Personal Values, service, Social, Spiritual, Striving, Travel

January 28, 2025, Pasay– Three robust boys came to me with a request all too familiar, even back at Home Base I: Would I be so kind as to support their youth basketball league, with a small contribution? In a Metro Manila that is all too overrun with urchins thrusting out hands or paper cups, this was worth the small contribution that I gladly offered. Of course, the urchins were there, too, one hanging on my arm for a split second, but I am mindful of the futility that accompanies piecemeal rendering of small change. Like those who want millionaires and billionaires to pay off the national debt of the United States, the folks who scold others for not giving on demand to the people in the street are barking up a limbless tree. The Big Dogs don’t have enough, even collectively, to pay off the debt. The rest of us don’t have enough to keep paying the world’s destitute, ad infinitum. It’s simply best to support programs that can raise up the people; inspire and enlighten, educate and empower them.

I arrived at 10:30 a.m., in Apollo 11 Village, in the Barangay of San Gregorio, in the southeast corner of Pasay, and close enough to the gradually cleaner, but still rather fetid, Estero de Tripa de Gallina, to be a bit pestered by mosquitoes. Apollo 11 Village was in a festive mood,as many were gathered for the 75th birthday of a local matriarch. The scene even became a tourist attraction, with a few European visitors taking pictures of the birthday singing and cake cutting. I demurred on that front, out of respect for the lady and her family. My mission at that point was more quotidian: Walking to Mercury Drug, a mile to the west, to pick up spare razor blades. It was irksome to me, to have a day’s growth of beard, and my razor handle not fit into the blade. (For whatever reason, it would be more cooperative the next day).

My beloved contacted me and talked about all the things that had been going on in her life, over the past two weeks. She is always up front, so long as I give her the space that any person needs and deserves. We may well get closer, this time around. This visit may be a “return to forever” (with apologies to Chick Correa). It will, in any case, be memorable and nurturing, at least for me, and hopefully for both of us.

Here, for fans of the technojazz of the 1970s. is Return to Forever’s Majestic Dance, from their “Romantic Warrior” LP. Yes, it is an acquired taste for many, but I have grown to admire Chick Correa, Wayne Shorter, Al Di Meola and the rest, for their dedication to consciousness raising.

The Road to Diamond, Day 39: Institutional

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Posted by on in children, collaborating, Community, Education, Family, Inspiration, Personal goals, Personal Values, Service Activities, Social, Spiritual, Striving

January 6, 2025- The day in Washington came and went, with scarcely a murmur. The will of the people, albeit by way of plurality, was acknowledged and for the second time in our nation’s history, the losing standard bearer of a major party was the person certifying the election of a rival. Albert Gore, Jr. did that very thing, on 1/6/01 and Kamala Harris did so today. The institution of the American republic, a form of democracy, was the winner.

It made me think of other institutions: Parenthood, grandparenthood, marriage, community, corporation, formal education, personhood. Each has its rules and practices, which are its underpinnings. Those who challenge any one of the institutions, on its face, are exhibiting an inclination towards mayhem. That does not mean that the institution should be impervious to change. Our Constitution is replete with the amendment process, for the very reason that the government of 1788, or 1861, cannot possibly address all the needs of 2025. Familial institutions, likewise, have the duty to their members, to regularly communicate across the roles of parent, spouse, child, sibling-and even grandparent, so that the personhood of any given member is not trampled or sacrificed.

In the institution of the school, there is a trust between teacher and student. Today, my role as substitute teacher was a special position of trust: A new semester, a new term, was starting. The regular teacher had a last minute emergency, and though today was the start of a major activity, his life had to take its course. I was able to dust off the cobwebs of my technological savvy and get the basic activities started. The task in question was a vocational education exercise, which will last for two weeks. Those who recognized its import-the majority of students, thankfully, set themselves to the task, some choosing to work in small groups and others on their own. Thus are the members of one institution, the school, beginning to prepare for membership in another, the workforce.

It remains my honour to offer support to institutions, holding up their traditions when the good of the order warrants and working to effect change, when the converse is true.