Chapter 7

Trillium Specialty Hospital

My year of substituting dangerously

Painting the house, inside and out

Penny’s last birthday, without candles on the cake

My 60th birthday, sharing pizza with the guys

December 5-6, with my family, at Yard House, at Durant’s and at the Phoenix Light Parade

Xanga

The longest year of my life, signifying dedication, and not much else.

2000-09

Y2K                                                                                                                                                                                          September 11, 2001

Second Prescott residence                                                   Dobson Ranch

Mother’s 75th

Penny in decline

Mingus Mountain Academy

Sierra Pines Apartments                                                          Ironwood Elementary School

Solar Drive

El Mirage School                                                                            Palo Verde Middle School

Willow Canyon High School                                                                                                                                                  Penny’s third Master’s Degree

Pre-School Substitute

Aram’s HS Graduation & 18th Birthday

Ten years of feeling strange

Leaving Korea                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                               Centenary of Baha’u’llah’s  Ascension

Santa Monica and Oxnard                                                                              Weekend drives to Flagstaff

First residence in Prescott                                                                                                        Keams Canyon

Jeddito School                                                                                                                                              Louhelen Baha’i School

Hopi ceremonies on weekends                                                                                                      Bosch Baha’i School

Cross-country family road trips                                                                                         New Year’s Eve, 1997,  in Edwardsville, IL

Chilchinbeto                                                                                                                                 Santa Barbara

Murder, She Wrote                                                                                                                Salome, AZ

Penny’s first injury

Northern Arizona University                               A townhouse in Flagstaff                                                           Penny

Nieces and nephews

The Baha’i Faith                                                            Tuba City                                                                     Humphreys Peak

Wedding in San Diego                                                  Julian, CA                                                          Pilgrimage to Israel

London and Canterbury                                                                                      Standoff, Alberta

The Wildfire Conference, Greencastle, IN                                         Guyana                                                     Macy, Nebraska

Glenn and Barbie

Pine Ridge Lakota Nation                                                                                                Losing my Dad

Cheju

The Korean Baha’i Community

Visiting Professor of Conversational English

Fatherhood

Taiwan

The Polar Route                                                                          Cementing a marriage

Vietnam                                                         Emerson, Lake & Palmer

Sydney, Australia                                                               marijuana

North Shore Community College               Quebec Winter Carnival                                                                   Marshall’s and Sears

Hitchhiking

dating and clubbing

UMass-Amherst                                                                                         Crane’s Beach security detail                                          Quisisana Resort

Etna-Dixmont School                                Villa Oasis School                                         the Grand Canyon                             Disneyland

Chicago at  Christmas time                               Guaymas and  Puerto Penasco                                                                                 siblings’ weddings

This is the second in my word portraits:

Brother Glenn

Losing Grama

Brother Brian

Saugus Junior High School

The death of Marilyn Monroe

Boy Scouts

British pop music

The school arsonist of 1963

Motown

My handwritten newsletter

Delivering newspapers

The deaths of John F. Kennedy, Malcolm X, Martin Luther King and Robert Kennedy

The Blackout of 1965

Saugus High School

Girls

Star Market

Fireplace Ten

Mount Chocorua

Martha’s Vineyard, 1966

Salem Willows

Pleasure Island

UMass at Boston

Basic Training, Fort Jackson

Apollo I

Myrtle Beach

Fort Benjamin Harrison

Fort Myer, VA

The scourge of alcohol

Autism

I spent this past weekend attending three day sessions, and one evening, of Grand Canyon Baha’i Conference, which has been held every December since 1984, in Phoenix.  This is the first year I have not stayed in the city, opting instead to drive back and forth from my home in Prescott, 1 1/4 hours away.  I had a tamale order coming on Saturday. and Sunday night, I just felt it financially prudent to not spend money on lodging.

The theme of the Conference this year was “Arise To Serve Humanity”.  When I think of it, this is what I prefer to be doing most of the time, anyway.  As an eldest child, it was expected of me, from the day my sister was born and that ethic has served me rather well, by making my life path very certain.

I spent Saturday listening to the actor Rainn Wilson and Justin Baldoni present their thoughts on how we may serve as mentors to the rising generations of youth, both younger Millennials and those born since 2000, whom I regard as “Generation AA”- a tribute to their focused energy.  Like youth from time immemorial, our current children and teens are very much focused on genuineness.  A few examples were given, in the presentations, of those adults whose “walk” is at clear variance with their “talk”.  I’ve never been able to successfully do other than what I say, or vice versa, so, being a very bad liar, I feel most comfortable with like-behaved people, whether young, old, or in-between.  Being with kids is thus, natural for yours truly.

Sunday, Ms. Leila Milani spoke of developing a culture of service.  It is largely dependent on being not associated with the accumulation of anything- goods, money or reputation- at the expense of others.  She also spoke of the three Stations in the world of existence- God, the Manifestations of God (Who can speak with the Voice of the Creator, as Christ did, and as Baha’u’llah did) and the Station of Servitude- exemplified, perfectly, by John the Baptist, and by ‘Abdu’l-Baha and, to a lesser but still significant degree by many throughout history- Saint Francis of Assisi, Florence Nightingale, Mohandas Gandhi, Albert Schweitzer, Mother Theresa, Nelson Mandela, et al.)  Several modes of service were mentioned:  Spiritual teaching, learning useful skills, education of children, financial support of worthy causes, hospitality, founding a loving home, serving one’s parents and working in development projects.

Roberto Nathaf then offered the intriguing notion that, as physical Man seeks to travel to distant stars, perhaps even by circumventing the speed of light, so spiritual Man ought seek to develop the Light of the Spirit to the nth degree.  By serving others, one becomes truly regal.

On Monday morning, Dr. Jim Reed, a Christian educator, offered the notion that, by undergoing difficulties, one may use  these tests to inform and assist others.  It is interesting that the case of a breast cancer survivor, Kristen Magner, who has taken to inspiring others through post-cancer involvement in interpretive dance.  Sandra Paredes, a mother who lost her son in an accident, three years ago, has spent this holiday season giving gifts to children in hospital.  Dr. Reed spoke of the Human Library, comprised of those who have suffered, a major force that brings people forward in their individual and collective lives.  He said “Suffering and trial are not punishment.  They are preparation for a life of service.”  Indeed, they are.

Now, what are we to make of the continuing occurrences of destruction- both natural and human-caused?  With Mr. Saeed Khadivian, an educator from Los Angeles,I offer this notion:  There are two forces at work- today and throughout history- Destruction of old systems and Construction of a new system.  In this day, however, the Kingdom of God on Earth, promised by Christ, in the Lord’s Prayer, is what is stirring, what is slowly and almost imperceptibly, being brought into being.  It is this Promised Day that is the true Fruit of all the acts of service that are occurring.  This fact is lost in all the attention being paid to acts of destruction, catastrophes, personality aberrations and political rancor.

A friend asked me, a few days ago, why everyone knows about the words of Christ, and many know of Buddha, Joseph Smith and Mohammed, but not much is heard of Baha’u’llah.  I felt ashamed at that.  The first thing everyone, regardless of faith or creed, should know about Him is that His name, in Arabic, means “The Glory of God”.  From there, a person may learn as much about Baha’u’llah, and His Teachings, as he or she cares to learn.  The other thing I wish to share here, though, is this:  Beginning with the 1844-50 Ministry of Baha’u’llah’s Herald, al Bab (Who is to Baha’u’llah as John the Baptist was to Christ), the groundwork for the Kingdom of God on Earth is being laid.  Baha’u’llah, during His Ministry (1863-1892), revealed over 100 volumes of Scriptural Guidance. His eldest son, and designated Successor, ‘Abdu’l-Baha and His great-grandson, Shoghi Effendi, expounded and further clarified Baha’u’llah’s Teachings, until their own passings, 1921 and 1957, respectively.   Baha’i literature is available for study at http://reference.bahai.org/en/.

I was asked today, in an online exchange, what I thought the difference was between loving, as opposed to “feeling bad” about someone’s pain.  I cannot feign love, so  feeling good about someone’s success or good fortune is as natural as feeling badly about his/her misfortunes.  Love is, in the true sense, both the basis for, and the outcome of, faith.   In fact, love is pretty old, in the scheme of things, as Baha’u’llah, speaking with the Voice of God tells us: O SON OF MAN! Veiled in My immemorial being and in the ancient eternity of My essence, I knew My love for thee; therefore I created thee, have engraved on thee Mine image and revealed to thee My beauty.

I wish all a joyous and very Merry Christmas and a happy, prosperous 2014.

I want to try a word portrait, for each of my decades, prior to 2010- and for each year since.  Let’s see how this works.

November 28                               Gooch Street                   Blessed Sacrament Church       Central Street                         Grama’s

Kickball                                                                                    Girls                                                                                                                          Charlie & Flo’s

Miss Nugent                                                                                                                                                                                                       Sister Cheryl

The Waldrons                                                                    Books                                                                                                                            Nana & Grampy

The Connallys                                                                                                                                                                              the hairbrush

Eddie & Allan                                                     Records                                                                                                Adams Avenue

Father McGrath                                                                                                                                                         The Harlem Nutcracker

Miss Lavin  & the bell                                                                                                                                          Conrad’s Farm

The rodeo

Blueberry Hill ( the promontory and the song)

Brother David                                                                                         Tom and Yvonne’s candy dish

I had a fine day today, November 28, 2013.  Along with my son, I hiked a segment of trail in the Cuyamaca section of Anza-Borrego State Park, in the Laguna Mountains, northeast of San Diego.  Afterwards, we enjoyed a simple, but well-crafted meal at Julian Cafe, in the town of Julian, where my late wife worked for a year, just prior to our wedding.  It’s always a pleasure to visit Julian, and it was a way to include Penny’s spirit in our observance of my 63rd birthday.  Growing up, my parents were always glad that I enjoyed turkey, as there were several times that my birthday fell on T-day.  Today was the latest of those.  Finally, Aram and I went to a showing of “The Hunger Games:  Catching Fire”.  It hit the spot, and all its targets, for sure.  I liked this episode better than the first, and will be glad to see the next two installments.

Now, to revisit the reasons I am grateful, this Thanksgiving.  I was able to successfully divest of a house in Phoenix, thanks to Matt Deuitch,  I resolved several dental issues, thanks to Kamran Ruintan and his team.  I enjoyed an earlier visit to San Diego, as well as this present one, thanks to my son, Aram, and his naval command.  I had lovely visits across several states, beginning at the home of my Colorado in-laws, David and Mindy Kosak, and ending with a short, but reassuring visit with another friend. Along the way, Mitchell Silas, Derek and Sima Cockshut, Jim Graeve and Summer Rae, John Glaze, Wes Hardin, Christina  Fullmer, Sandra Liz, Beth and David Glick, Nataly Loveless, Tom D. Stevens, my in-laws in New Jersey, and my family members in Massachusetts and Philadelphia provided me with emotional support and hospitality.  My uncle, George Boivin, reinforced my sense of self, towards the end of my journey in September.  I have had consistent emotional support from my Baha’i friends and fellow American Legionnaires in Prescott.  I am grateful to have made so many friends in social media, including my newest good friend in Prescott.  Most of all, I am grateful for having grown so much emotionally this past year.

The year ahead is sure to present more challenges and opportunities.  I will, most immediately, attend seasonal gatherings in December, and the Grand Canyon Baha’i Conference, in Phoenix.  I am a hiking enthusiast, and segments of the Black Canyon National Recreation Trail, the McDowell Mountains, near Scottsdale, and trails in Cave Creek, will be on tap for the winter months, as will hikes in the Prescott area with friends, both old and new.  I have tentative plans to spend three weeks in France and the Benelux region, later in 2014.  These may be postponed until another year, if I am assessed a hefty tax bill, relative to the short sale of my Phoenix house, last February.  It won’t matter, because I would have Plan B, a month’s hike of the Colorado Trail, as my backup. A move, from my current residence, to another home in Prescott, later in the spring, is also likely, for the sake of the well-being of my family-at-large.

My 2014 will continue the building of my character, my relationships and my overall life.  If it’s as fruitful as the past two years have been, I will be triply blessed.  My gratitude remains, regardless.

I made a new friend, or so I think, not long ago.  I have a steadfast conviction that I am a loyal friend, and not pushy- though some have challenged me on that last point, over the last six months.  I also have a tendency to commit to service to my friends. I have made such an internal commitment to this new friend.  

The difficulty is that this person seems to have no need for my friendship, and so messages are unanswered and phone calls go straight to voice mail- which also goes unanswered, for several days at least.   I will not go to someone’s house uninvited- chalk that one up to my New England upbringing.  “Never go visiting without calling first!”

So it has gone, for the past three weeks.  I remain this person’s friend, in my mind and heart, but the one-way street develops pot holes very fast.  The holding pattern, as I sit here at home, on a Saturday night, dealing with this First World problem, has gotten old.  I will bake the squashes that are now in the oven.  I will try to get tech support, so that I may watch my DVD’s on television again, for the first time since I moved to Prescott.  I will resist the urge to hit the road again, for an extended period, with the mindset that at least while wandering, I can justify my failure to connect with someone in a meaningful way.  I will not go to a restaurant and occupy a dinner table for one- I leave that for Mr. Bitter.

I’m here if my friend needs me- all she need do is call or text.  In the meantime, I am keeping my First World problem at bay, by making other friends, as the occasion arises, and staying productive with work, acts of service, and enjoying our natural surroundings.  Life goes on.