Category Archives: Personal Values

Secret Cove

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Posted by on in animal and plant life, Hiking and Nature, Personal Values, Striving

March 16, 2021- My hiking buddy and I got up onto the rocks above one of Watson Lake’s most beautiful sections. As she is not quite up to clambering around the more difficult rock sections as yet, we turned back. Another time will suffice; Secret Cove is not going anywhere.

There are a myriad trails through the Glacial Age’s gift to Prescott: Granite Dells. The hoodoos and small granite mounds that dominate the northeast corner of this town have been a draw for residents and visitors alike, since the mid-Nineteenth Century. The dells form an arc, rising on the north side of Watson Lake and swinging west, to its fellow reservoir, Willow Lake (that sector being called Willow Dells), the area is a hodgepodge of City Park and private residences that have, for the most part, been built in a manner that respects the wilderness.

We walked mostly along a converted rail bed, known here as Peavine Trail. Its wide, flat mien allows bicyclists, equestrians and disabled people equal space, with hikers free to go off on any one of a dozen trails, mostly leading to overlooks of the lake.

Below, is an old photo of Secret Cove, from a hike I took there in November, 2011. The tranquility of the place doesn’t change, and even being shy of the cove itself, we felt a deep serenity.

There will be several visits to this hidden gem, in the near future-especially as the weather gets mild again.

Baby Steps Add Up

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Posted by on in Assistance, collaborating, impediments, Personal Values, Social, Striving

March 15, 2021- A week or so ago, a friend who needed a trustworthy vehicle received one, with help from several of us, who had ourselves been in similarly dire straits, in the past. This morning, I received a message from a long-suffering friend, in a faraway community, who at long last has an opportunity to live in a community that will meet her needs. Several of us have already pitched in, towards her settlement costs-and, hopefully, others will tap into the energy and help out as well.

This is an often dicey time of year, with the changes from Winter to Spring/Summer to Autumn, the resumption of Daylight Savings Time in many locations, the onset of standardized testing in many public schools-and lingering COVID, too. Through it all, we do well to realize that progress, along with change, is a process-not an event. We all have our high points, and their opposites, with a good stretch of in-between, interspersed.

The most important thing, in my humble opinion, is not to make assumptions about one another. Having lost a few friends because they had their assumptions about yours truly, and were unwilling to let go of those, even in light of proof to the contrary, I can only ask the reader to re-consider anyone about whom you might jumped the gun. I have done the same, over the years, and those who I misjudged are back in my circle. It took baby steps to mend fences, but it was worth it.

Confirmation Bias

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Posted by on in Assistance, collaborating, Community, distraction issues, Historical, Inner Struggles, Personal Values, Social, Striving

March 13, 2021- During the McCarthy Hearings, in the 1950s, there was enormous pressure put on both investigators and witnesses to take any smidgen of evidence of Communist sympathy, on the part of suspects, and blow it up at least ten fold. Senator Joseph McCarthy had everything riding on conflating social Liberalism with Stalinism.

The term confirmation bias is used to describe a situation in which evidence that leads to a desired outcome is placed prominently in the investigator’s or prosecutor’s case file, while exculpatory evidence is filtered out and other evidence, contributing to a reasonable doubt, is overlooked. McCarthy and his associates reveled in confirmation bias, until it led them over the cliff of disrepute.

These days, I see confirmation bias used, with abandon, by several groups. Those on the Left go back in history, being willing to erase historical accounts which show any degree of complexity in the leaders of various historical periods. Those on the Right, conversely, reject any criticism of the same historical figures. The recent controversy over Theodore Seuss Geisel is certainly the latest such case, of both sides ignoring or discounting the very features of Dr. Seuss’s personality, which the man himself spent countless hours working to refine, to bring up to date with the times. A careful study of his work’s progress shows a fundamentally decent man moving on, from caricatures that clearly show a prejudiced bent to depictions of people that more accurately reflected changes in public opinion. Neither the Right, with its insistence that NOTHING he wrote was wrong, nor the Left, some of whom want a wholesale destruction of his catalog, are showing any degree of academic rigour in their posturing.

We are at the cusp of a public arena, in which stridency commands absolute fealty and careful discernment, in the course of assessing the march of history, is deemed a feckless approach. I will, however, maintain the latter course of action.

No one, save the Messengers of God, walks on water. No one, conversely, deserves to have even the smallest amount of merit discounted. Most of us are very much in the middle.

The Little Truths

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Posted by on in impediments, Inner Struggles, Personal goals, Personal Values, Social, Spiritual, Striving

March 12, 2021- In the course of becoming a better person, there is an ongoing process of uncovering, remembering small incidents and minor actions that form patterns over time. It is in the burial of those details, that growth becomes stunted, difficult- if not impossible. It is in their acknowledgement, that incremental changes can take place and growth suddenly takes off.

I have experienced both, in this fairly long life. It took a lot of introspection, and even more forgiveness, of both myself and others, to reach a relatively strong level of equilibrium, enhanced intuition and ability to recognize who is truly in my corner-and who is best cut out of my life.

Fortunately, no family members are in the last category. There are some, who I trusted- in some cases for years, who are in my rear view mirror. There are others, a few of whom are members of my Faith, who are more or less in a state of suspended animation-so as to let me have time and space to work through those parts of myself that have been triggered by their mannerisms, jabs and ability to find my weak spots.

I am reminded of this aspect of my persona, by certain events of the past week, especially last weekend. Thus, I know what I must continue to do, to strengthen myself and shed even more of those aspects of myself that bring about limitations-while keeping a distance from those who would drag me down.

Little truths can be positive, shiny and growth-enhancing. It is better to find, and promulgate them, than to wallow in their opposites.

You Only THINK…

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Posted by on in collaborating, Family, impediments, Matters of Faith, Personal Values, Social, Spiritual, Striving

March 10, 2021-

A story I heard today set me to musing.

In reality, there is no time when I don’t love my family members, to a one. You only THINK that I have left you behind.

There is no amount of trouble that could turn me away from my child. You only THINK that time and distance have crafted a wall.

There is no barrier tall or thick enough that could get between me and my God. Some only THINK that they can be that impediment.

There is no lie enticing enough, shimmering enough, to convince me that down is up. Some only THINK that its repetition will do the trick.

There is no true link between narcissism and piety. The narcissist only THINKS that a tie can be contrived between the two.

Be careful. What you think becomes your reality. It will not become mine.

Threads

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Posted by on in collaborating, Education, Inner Struggles, Personal Values, Poetry, Social, Striving

March 9, 2021-

The thread of enjoyment extended out, as a friend took in one of my favourite restaurants, on her own, and found it good.

The thread of caring got a little longer, as the powers that be offered more assistance to a long-neglected teen, and it will be good.

The thread of preparation is getting clearer, as a storm approaches us, and people mentally get ready for winter’s last gasp. It will be okay.

The thread of assurance is getting stronger, as there is some enticement to return to an untenable situation, which it is best to resist. I will be fine.

International Women’s Day

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Posted by on in Assistance, collaborating, impediments, Inner Struggles, Inspiration, Personal Values, Social, Spiritual, Striving

March 8, 2021- I look out the window, this lovely afternoon, and see buds tentatively clinging to the trees. They seem to sense that the late winter storm, forecast for Thursday through Saturday, is on its way. They will survive, and will show themselves more fully with the warming temperatures of next week.

Women, worldwide, face the tempests of lingering resistance by many men-and some women, to the recognition that there is nothing to fear from assertive womanhood. There is always a residual feeling, among some of my fellows, that if power is shared, then power is lost. This impacts everything from voter registration among people of colour to the presence of women in fields of work traditionally set aside for men. There is nothing wrong with a woman choosing to fulfill the traditional role of stay-at-home mother, as long as it is her choice.

On this International Women’s Day, we see that just about every field of endeavour is now open to all, regardless of sex. Women in firefighting, auto mechanics, the building trades and in a variety of sports have had tough rows to hoe. Male physicians have even put up some resistance to regarding female colleagues as equals, as have men engaged throughout the sciences.

The bar of performance is sometimes raised higher for women, in nontraditional fields, as a passive- aggressive way of discouraging their participation. Thankfully, it has by and large not worked. Women, in any given profession and trade, are as competent as men-and do their level best to contribute meaningfully to their chosen field. There are always those not individually suited to a particular job, but this has nothing inherently to do with gender.

May the advancement of women, in all fields, long continue.

Estrangers

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Posted by on in American Legion, collaborating, Community, impediments, Inspiration, Matters of Faith, Personal goals, Personal Values, Social, Spiritual

March 7, 2021- This morning, after ten years of my being a member, in good standing, of a veterans’ service organization, the matter of my Faith was raised-specifically that I am viewed by some, who I have known and with whom I’ve gotten along well for this past decade, as a “non-Christian”.

The context of this was with regard to a request that I serve again as the organization’s Chaplain, a post I held, with a good record of service and with no complaints registered, for two years, prior to embarking on several years of extensive travel. That latter stream of activity is set to resume in July of this year, and for that reason, I am declining the above request. An officer in a service organization needs to stay put-even in the days of Zoom and Microsoft Teams.

The larger issue here is that there is a shrinkage of the social circle of many people, partly a result of the political mayhem that has been afoot in this country, across the spectrum, for the past dozen years-if not longer, and partly because of a rising false narcissism, rooted in fear. Those I joined for breakfast, nearly each Sunday that I was in town, for the past ten years, have taken to talking only among themselves and shoving everyone else, including yours truly, to the sidelines. A culture of estrangement has taken root, which can only be detrimental to those who profess belief in the Paragon of Love. That embracing of parochialism has, from what I’ve seen in the past, only led to bitterness.

I cannot, and will not, turn aside from my Heavenly Father, in the name of a label. I cannot, and will not, let “estrangers” define who I am. So, with all prayer and loving regard for the members of said service organization, it’s time to move on.

Much Obliged?

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Posted by on in collaborating, Community, Family, Inspiration, Personal Values, Social, Spiritual, Striving

March 6, 2021- This morning, one of my dearest friends invited me to a small gathering, set for tomorrow afternoon, with the caveat that I should not feel an obligation to attend. I am delighted to receive the invitation, and the last thing I think is that it is an imperative.

This set me to thinking: How many actual things in life are an obligation? There are relatively few, and virtually all are role-dependent. Many of us have heard it said, “The only things sure in this life are death and taxes.” For some, only the first is regarded as certain.

The word obligation often brings the image of something one does only while kicking and screaming. I will have to say this, with regard to my own life, at present: I do what I do, only out of love-Love of God. If one loves God, then one loves His creatures. So, as a parent-I take whatever time my son, and by extension my daughter-in-law (and in the future, their children) ask of me. As a citizen, I obey the laws of any community, state(province) or nation in which I find myself. As a member of any group, I contribute to the ideas, needs and agendas of the gathering-whether it is family, Faith-based, civic or charitable.

All of what I am presently doing is something of my choice. So, there is only one “obligation”, if you will. That is to keep my word. That said, I am going to bring this post to a close, as I have promised another friend that I will visit her shop, for a special event. It will also be a delightful time.

Transitions

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Posted by on in Family, impediments, Inspiration, Personal Values, Social, Spiritual, Striving

March 5, 2021, Phoenix- She took her last breath, ten years ago this morning. She was still warm to the touch, as I walked to the side of her bed, having arrived three minutes too late for a real-time goodbye. Yet, when I had awakened, an hour before, in our home of eight years, the bedroom we had shared was filled with a very heavy energy, the likes of which I have not experienced before or since. At the hospice site, our son and I were greeted by an upwardly swirling of dust, on an otherwise still morning.

Today, I returned to the gravesite I have visited so many times, this past decade. This time, I sat for the better part of an hour, praying and meditating. There was a couple looking for a loved one’s grave, which turned out to be on the other side of the cemetery. Otherwise, I was in solitude with the spirit of my spouse of twenty-nine years.

Penny has long since transitioned to a better place. I am still in transition to being a better person. In this past ten years, I have broken trust three times, been called out for it, almost immediately and learned to do better. I have had my integrity, with regards to how I view women, called into question and after initially taking umbrage at the criticism, done a deep dive into exactly how change was in order. It has been well worth the soul search. While I am still peripatetic at my core, being part of a community is more essential to me, than it had been in years past.

I had a groundswell of support, during the five months after Penny’s transition. It was ironic that some of those who were warm with their words, immediately afterward, were later so vicious in their attacks. They have long since vanished from my life. Family members are there, when I need them, and I, when they need me, Mostly, though, the contacts are short and sweet-and their lives don’t intertwine with mine so much any more. It is partly physical distance; partly the fullness of each others’ lives-and it may well change, as time goes on and disease abates. It is my core of friends, who also ebb and flow with their presence, who keep me honest and forging onward.

Today ends one decade of living transition and begins another. I wonder, as to how it might feel to be an octogenarian, in 2031. In the meantime, there is much on which to work and life from which to learn.