Category Archives: Social

The Road to 65, Mile 67: Deferred Attention

7
Posted by on in Personal goals, Social

February 3, 2015, Prescott- Television stayed off today. I did not go to morning prayers, nor did I even get out of bed until 10 AM. Of course, getting home at 3:30 AM had everything to do with that. My respite at home will be brief. Some here in Prescott will wonder, again, why on Earth I even bother coming back here. There were three key elements at play: I took part in the commemoration of the deaths of four Navy Chaplains, in the sinking of the USS Dorchester, off the coast of Greenland,on February 3, 1943. This is an emotional time for those who served in World War II, and many who served later, in the Korean Conflict. It is significant in that four noncombatants gave the ultimate sacrifice, choosing to die, alongside 653 others, rather than mount a lifeboat. They set their own hopes and dreams aside.

The other two tasks that need doing here are left for tomorrow and Thursday. They involve quality attention to dear friends. So here is a key aspect of the changes that became apparent to me, as I drove home last night: I am leaving isolation behind. That’s the scary part, but it’s also the satisfying element. When I focus on a person, or a task, I am all in. It may not suit the people who are on the sidelines, and have to wait until a later time for me to attend to THEIR needs, but that attention is only deferred, not cast aside.

I am also getting better at deferring, not casting aside, my own needs for rest and rejuventation. So, I got up at 10, not 6 or 7. Early rising will return tomorrow.

The Road to 65, Mile 66: Totems

6
Posted by on in Personal goals, Social

February 2, 2015, Prescott- From the time I was small, there has been something about bears that has set in my heart, far beyond the Teddy Bear connection that has led some to dismiss that fascination. I have learned that my Penobscot ancestors regarded the bear as a sacred being, as many Indigenous Americans do. So, it was a particular honour when a longtime friend gave me an eagle feather, my name slightly misspelled, and with four bears lovingly placed along the bottom edge.

SAM_3834

It sits now, at the edge of a heart, created by my wife, from mesquite sticks around 2002. That was a symbol of all we had, and its ruggedness foreshadowed what we were to endure. The eagle and the bears are symbols of keenness and strength, two qualities which I’ve known, erratically, most of my life. During all her suffering, though, I could not let go of either quality.

Now, I’m coming into another phase of my life, its specifics still unclear, but in which sharpness of mind and strength of character will need to flow, uninterrupted. It will entail a lot of flexibility, energy-wise and time-wise, and could very well include going back to work full time, though that is a matter now in the hands of others. The totems will impart a certain energy to the process. Stay tuned.

The Road to 65, Mile 65: Weirdness Finds Us

5
Posted by on in Entertainment, Social

February 1, 2015, Longmont, CO- Katy Perry has done one or two songs that resonate with me, and several others with which some of the girls, with whom I’ve worked over the past few years, have sung along. Her videos, though, are mostly flamboyant and of the “all about MEEE” genre. When I visited my paternal uncle on Sunday, after the Winter Summit had finished, he was glad that I had come along- all the more so, as he could turn from the tv, which he had muted during her performance.

We talked of several things- my visit to our ancestral neighbourhood in Rouen, my having gone across the Pacific, from Honolulu to San Diego, my son’s wise choice in doing four more years in the Navy and Uncle’s dealing with the gradual effects of nearing 90. He is a practical man, who plans things out and addresses issues creatively. So, as Super Bowl play resumed, and the sound was turned back on accordingly, he was a bit perturbed to see the various blunders which took up the second half. It’ll be a while before the question, “What kind of coach orders a PASS at the goal line?” is addressed to Uncle’s satisfaction. As New Englanders, we were pleased with the outcome, but we both have had good experiences in the Northwest, so there were condolence thoughts expressed, as well.

It was, he and I agreed, a surreal game. For the Seattle wide receiver to catch the ball, while sprawled aground, as if it were a greased pig, was kind of like eating bacon ice cream- a bizarre treat that would be an acquired taste. The Patriots’ rookie defenseman’s finding the ball coming right into his hands, behind the goal line, was equally bizarre, but felt more like a triple chocolate, dripped caramel, with peppermint, triple shake-albeit in the dead of winter. Weirdness brings the most delectable surprises, and never when or where one might expect.

The Road to 65, Mile 64: Roommates

3
Posted by on in Social

January 31, 2015, Boulder- I am sharing a hotel room with someone I had never met before yesterday. He is congenial and considerate, as I am in return. It is a rare occasion when I have a roommate, anymore. I last did so in the dark days of Summer, 2011, when I was at a week-long Baha’i school, following Penny’s passing and my abrupt cancellation of home renovation plans, which messed up the contractor’s schedule and added to my emotional meandering. The gentleman who shared my room then was quiet and scholarly, and had some fine tales of his days with the Canadian Air Force, serving in the far northern edge of Ellesmere Island.

Since then, I have lived alone- first in a two-bedroom house and now in a one-bedroom apartment. It seems to fit, especially as I have been in and out of town so much. Likewise, having a roommate this weekend also fits- for the task in front of each of us is to be more social. I am feeling a lot more talkative, though my roommate is spending his first time away from his wife of five years, and is on the phone with her constantly, during free time.

I know the feeling well. The few times that Penny and I were apart, during our years together, we were constantly on the phone with each other, or connecting online. Spouses are the ultimate roommates, after all.

The Road to 65, Mile 63: Special Touch

4
Posted by on in Personal goals, Social

January 30, 2015- Today was spent learning how to apply a variety of essential oils to another person’s body, in a therapeutic and respectful manner. Couples can have lots of fun with this, as well. For me, though, it was a focused and elegant exercise. The purpose of this is to address the sacrocranial column and the feet, with 5-8 oils. Each of these oils has a specific property and affects the body in a particular way. Lavender, which starts the process, relaxes the body. Peppermint, which ends it, brings the body back to a state of alertness. The whole process, for each of us, took 40 minutes.

I am now certified to OFFER this treatment to people, but I will not CHARGE for it, at least not for the time being. I may not teach others how, without a rigourous training process. The most important thing is that, once one learns the process, it is a good idea to let people know that it works. When it was done on me, this morning, I felt wondrously relaxed and spiritually nourished. Oh, and the Thai curried chicken added to those feelings.

If you have the opportunity to learn this process, take it.

The Road to 65, Mile 62: No Snow

2
Posted by on in Social, Travel

January 29, 2015, Boulder- I came to Boulder, this evening, after a long day of driving through an unusually dry series of Colorado roads. There was a modest amount of snow, well off the roads, in the mountain passes, and a hardy quartet of young men buzzed around the base of Wolf Creek Summit, on their Skidoos. Down in Del Norte, however, it was mild and the grounds of Piece of Art complex, at the west end of town, were muddy. I had a hearty bowl of split pea soup there, one of my favourite cafes along Hwy. 160. I found the complex is up for sale, for $699,000. I certainly hope it falls into caring hands. Piece of Art is one of a kind, especially in that area of Colorado.

It was a smooth ride further, up I-25, past Denver, and up to Hwy. 36, which was narrow, due to construction, and very dark, due to the Dark Sky Ordinance that seems to have been adopted by Boulder- both City and County. I made it to a comfortable motel, though, and got a fine night’s sleep, after the six hour drive from Cortez.

I would like to see more snow hereabouts, though. If it slows my return to Arizona, that’s okay. My main concern is seeing our rivers enjoy the fruits of a good snowpack, and the mountains are the key to that. Wherever the good snow falls, the chances of fire in the coming Spring and Summer become less. That would do my heart good.

The Road to 65, Mile 61: Vintage

4
Posted by on in Social

January 28, 2015, Prescott-  This afternoon, as I was readying for my drive up to Colorado, I got a call from my street-smart buddy, wanting me to look at something. I met him at a used car lot, mentally preparing for yet another misadventure. What I found, though, was that he had found, and arranged to buy, a treasure. A 1995 Ford van, complete with solid wood consoles, and a small 8-cylinder engine, was his, for a bargain price. He started it up, and I did my usual in such matters- kicking the tires (good tread and solid wheels), checking the exhaust pipe, manifold, belts and hoses (all good) and the fluids (topped off and clean). He seems to have done well.

This set me to thinking.  Many of us complain that there is little made to last, any more. Here is a prime example, though, of a vintage model that has held up well, after nearly twenty years. I am of the opinion that young people will revive the notion of building things in a solid manner. We already see artisan products- foods, beverages, and various crafts, all being made with pride. I think that artisan products will expand, in number and in scope, as the need to ditch the concept of planned obsolescence gains momentum.

Relationships, too, will increase in the number of “vintage” long-lasting bonds. We may not see traditional marriages increase in number, but I have observed a larger number of couples who are committed to one another. I don’t think it’s just old Bruin wearing rose-coloured glasses. Young folks want security, and where better to find such, in the days of the scaredy-cats on Wall Street selling other people’s funds at the drop of a hat, or of the proverbial sky, than with a long-term partner.

As some things fall apart, other things will emerge and be the foundation of the future True Vintage.

The Road to 65, Mile 58: Hiding in Plain Sight

8
Posted by on in Social

January 25, 2015, Prescott- A few days ago, my topic was Expectations. As I figured, the topic offended some people, but that’s the risk one takes, on a dedicated series like this. Regardless, I will continue to write what’s in my heart. Many of us prefer to overlook things which are either mundane or unsettling.

When I was still quite young, I sometimes would win a game of Hide and Seek, by simply lying down prone on the ground, close to the bottom edge of a cliff or berm. The seeker would, without fail, walk or run past me, and back to goal I would head in triumph.

Fast forward to the present, and a job market which frequently casts its nets far afield, while overlooking local talent, either out of the vanity of seeking the exotic or in the belief that someone who comes from another locale, will bring fresh vision and energy to the table. I fell in that trap, a few times, in the late ’90’s, only to be overruled by my Board, which chose an aging local person for the position. She turned out to be perfectly suited for the job, and grew in it, professionally, to serve several more years- long after I had left.

It’s just a thought, but how much would business and industry save, if they were to prioritize finding local talent, especially in smaller, close-knit communities. The newcomers do bring a different perspective, but they often must be eased into the community, while so many who are passed-over are still in the community, years later, and could have been a far greater asset to the organization, overall.

The Road to 65, Mile 56: Expectations

4
Posted by on in Social

January 23, 2015, Prescott- Over the past several years, I’ve learned it’s best to hold high expectations of my own performance and behaviours, while not expecting specific acts of others. I’ve mentioned this before, and of course, taken flack from those whose view is that we ought hold each other’s feet to the fire. The problem with that is, burnt soles make for hard walking.

I am working with a transient man who has rejected all solutions, thus far, regarding his getting permanent housing. I sense he’d prefer to be out of doors, permanently and that’s fine. I have pointed out, though, that  others who are helping him. and I, are not available 24/7, given our other responsibilities. He is congenial about that, and doesn’t give us any flack. There is one thing about expectations, though. High hopes are admirable, yet need to be tempered with patience. Keep your sights high, dream big, AND prepare to move forward slowly. The progress of mankind will be constant, yet tempered by setbacks, largely due to the scarcity mentality of the financial sector and other aspects of commerce, by the limited understanding and fear of change that affect both the guardians of the status quo AND those who say they believe in new ways of doing things, even as they also believe that the bottom has to drop out of those new systems, eventually.

I believe that our expectations will lead to our future. If you think that God provides, “kind of, sort of”, then you will get exactly what your doubt and fear are telling you will be provided. If you believe that while, yes, it’s cold today, people might die, tragically, tomorrow and there may well be fires, earthquakes, tornadoes, floods and cyclones in the months and years ahead-maybe even WWIII, there will be civilized life beyond all those, then your efforts will be towards recovery and regeneration, not the doom and gloom of virtually every current religious and political system presently operating.

When the latter happens, are the pessimists going to be pleasantly relieved, or will they still look under rocks for “dark days ahead”. Expectations do best to  seek the light, even that which lies beyond the storm.

The Road to 65, Mile 55: Challenges

5
Posted by on in Hiking and Nature, Personal goals, Social, Travel

January 22, 2015, Prescott- I got a call at 5:38 AM, got out of bed, fumbled with the phone, hit the wrong button, and ended up with no work today. It always goes the way it is supposed to go, though. While I won’t earn money from today’s activities, I did reassure a transient friend that he has allies in this community, got him where he needed to go, and spent some time with a friend in Prescott Valley, at a restaurant on the north side of the sprawling town. The place is called The Chalk Board. It’s a breakfast and lunch spot and has an inventive, well-prepared menu- like Soldi, here on the hilltop. Several of us will probably gather there on Saturday morning, for breakfast. I want to look for the trailhead where I left off of the Black Canyon Trail, last Spring, so a hearty breakfast, en route, will be a great start.

Slow days like this are a good time to look at challenges that lie ahead. So, between now and the end of May, I have these:

Work- The full-time job will happen, if it’s meant to, by the end of February. Otherwise, I will show up at every charter school in Prescott and Chino Valley, give them each a copy of my sub certificate, focus on building my Essential Oils business (which I’ll do, anyway) and sock money away.

Service- I am with the Red Cross as a volunteer, regardless. American Legion? My continuing there, past May, will depend on the political climate. Right now, it looks iffy. Prescott Family Shelter is on my volunteer radar screen, also, unless I get full-time work.

Recreation and Travel- Colorado, next weekend, is my most immediate focus- for a Winter Summit. Texas, the Gulf Coast and central Florida follow, from Feb. 6-17. My MIL has a birthday during that time, in Leesburg. Weekend hikes will be many, from mid-February until late May: Continuing down the Black Canyon, McDowell Mountains’ Pemberton Trail(Scottsdale), Spur Cross Ranch (Cave Creek),Kendrick Peak (west of Flagstaff), Tucson’s Sahuaro National Park-West Unit, a few more places in Sedona and the rest of Tonto Natural Bridge State Park’s trails. Then, there are the hikes I will no doubt take, on the spur of the moment.

Faith- Baha’i, like random acts of service, makes up the built-in cabinets and shelving of my Life House. My growth, and that of the community, will continue in tandem with all of the above.

These may seem like trifling challenges, and they are. Then again, I’m autistic. Everything is a challenge.