Undiminished

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Posted by on in Assistance, collaborating, distraction issues, impediments, Inner Struggles, Personal Values, Social, Spiritual, Striving

December 29, 2022- The couple walked two steps in front of me, as I was heading home, past the stately Hassayampa Inn, after meeting Akuura for an afternoon of conversation over latte and tea, at the newly-opened Century Lounge. The woman expressed to her mate, that she didn’t think she could walk much further, on the somewhat slippery sidewalk, to which he replied “You can do it, Baby. Come on, Baby!”

I don’t recall Penny and I having addressed each other in infantile terms, though terms of endearment came out of our mouths on a daily basis. She was straightforward about infantilization, so much so that our son, once he reached the age of three, would say: “I’m NOT a baby!”. Children emulate their mothers, or their primary caretakers of either sex, early on.

So, it seems that the term, “Baby”, applied equally by men and women alike, towards their mates, could be neutral. Yet, given the frequency that women, in the Industrial Age, or earlier, starting with the Manorial System, were treated in a subservient manner, the connotation of the word “Baby”, or even “Babe” (used to describe an attractive female, of any age) has been implied infancy. Of course, women who use that term towards their men are hardly emasculating them. It’s just that to me, and to many others, the best thing anyone can do in a relationship is to encourage a sense of equality, of supporting their mate’s following of her/his life plan and realization of dream (s).

It may well not be a matter of if, but when, I find myself in a relationship again. At that point in time, my choice of expressing endearment will reflect how I view the person who is walking beside, not behind, me. I never want to be one who diminishes another human being.

Still A Tenderfoot Scout

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Posted by on in Assistance, collaborating, Family, impediments, Inner Struggles, Personal Values, Service Activities, Social, Spiritual, Striving

December 28, 2022- When I was in Boy Scouts, from ages 10 to 12, I started out, as all did, a tenderfoot. Eventually, I made it up to First Class, with only a lingering fear of deep water keeping me from the mandatory Swimming and Lifesaving merit badges that would have advanced me to Star, Life and Eagle Scouts. To this day, I don’t swim well with my head above water, but can do about 2 laps underneath.

Shyness still makes itself known in friendships as well. There are people I consider friends, who I am a bit reticent about visiting, mainly because they are reticent about being visited, even though when I have seen them, they wax poetic about my loving nature or gentle energy. Of course, this is on them, but it does bring back old insecurities.

I count people as friends, who are from ages 2 1/2 to 91. Each has a connection that is indelible and each brings a particular quality to the table. Children and seniors bring an unfiltered wisdom. All those in between have character qualities that may not be unfiltered, but are worth encouraging. Some of these friends are only reachable online. Others could not be bothered with cyberspace. Some are quite well-known; others are people most could not tell apart from Adam or Eve. Some are people with whom I have had only a few encounters; others have been my friends since childhood. They run the gamut from students to retired executives; from the kids across the street to my financial advisor, who lives in Florida, and the couple who run a seaside bistro in Brittany.

Only a few people, who chose to dwell on my negative qualities, because that’s all they could see, have had to be cut loose. In every other case, my loyalty remains firm-even if a friend comes up with excuses, every time I ask to visit with them, or is surrounded by “protectors”, who make it clear I am not welcome there. I am still something of a shy tenderfoot, yet feel much blessed in the friend department, as has been said several times.

Lesson Nine

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Posted by on in Assistance, collaborating, Community, impediments, Inner Struggles, Inspiration, Personal goals, Personal Values, Social, Spiritual, Striving

December 27, 2022- Seemingly everywhere, and handling five tasks at once-one for each finger of her hand-so to speak, the head barista caught me signaling out of the corner of her eye, saw the half- sandwich on my plate and went in the back for a take-out box. She then swept back into the ellipse, and put the box down in front of me, while directing her attention to the couple next to me, who were initially enjoying expensive drinks, but had decided they wanted what I had to eat. ‘E’ had been at work since 11 a.m. and it was now 6:30. Her boss, the restaurant manager, and her assistant barista, a slightly younger woman, were doing the best they could to keep up-but ‘E’ is a force of nature. Petite, brainy, proactive, highly energetic and absolutely gorgeous, she can name her ticket-and I would venture that by time she is 25, she will be her own boss.

”E’ is, inadvertently, one of my life teachers. The lesson she has imparted, seared into my consciousness, is to reiterate that a strong woman, a strong human, needs no initial help from anyone, in reaching for the stars. The ladder is something she will devise herself, as is the team she is building and will continue to build. I have seen, and known, several people like her, over the years. Some have imploded, due to a latent inflexibility in the face of misfortune. Others have gone on and hit the heights. Time will tell into which category ‘E’ falls-but she is both gregarious and stone-faced practical, by turns. I sense she will face whatever comes along, with aplomb.

This is the ninth life lesson, along with several sub-lessons, that living on Earth has brought. The others:

  1. I am part of a family and cannot exist just for myself.
  2. Deciding to just up and walk away from home has its consequences.
  3. It is one thing to have an unusual personality and quite another to use it as an excuse.
  4. Self-loathing is a false modus vivendi. God created no junk.
  5. All the crap I absorbed in my community about People of Colour, and about women, is just that-BS.
  6. No matter how bad a situation is, walking through it will lead to greater strength and a place of peace.
  7. Every person on Earth has a place of truth in the heart. If someone hides their truth, it is on them.
  8. There is but one race: The human race.
  9. Every person on the planet, regardless of age, is capable of wondrous things-even singly and alone.

So often, just watching how people handle their lives is an object lesson in how I might deal with challenges in mine. I am grateful for all the people who have imparted life lessons.

Not Boxed In

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Posted by on in Assistance, collaborating, Community, distraction issues, impediments, Inspiration, Personal goals, Personal Values, Social, Spiritual, Striving

December 26, 2022- Someone who is well-known is being trolled by people, or bots, who tell readers, in the person’s name, how well loved they are. This ruse will run its course, in a day or two, at least on my end. The actual person is also an online friend, and is well aware of the dodge. I expect the family’s lawyers will play the game of whack-a-mole with the trolls, for a while, until the miscreants tire of the game-or until those few of us who are drawing them out just click the “unfollow” button. The latter will happen sooner-most likely tomorrow morning. We are not fooled or trapped.

Earlier today, I visited with some friends, a few miles away and had a brief conversation about male/female friendships, with some reference to a post I wrote last week. I am well aware, to say the least, of how many-especially in American society, view attention paid by a man my age to any woman who is ten or more years younger than he. I am also not one who harbours any harmful, or uncouth, intent. My concern, with both women and men, is to support their personal life plans. It wasn’t always consistently that way, but it is now. Further, I will not hide under a rock. Avoiding people, because of someone else’s stereotypes, is not going to happen. So, essentially, I deal pleasantly and respectfully with others, regardless of any external factors.

2023 is being described by some as a year in which each person more directly pursues personal growth, also regardless of anyone else’s agenda. This gives me some idea of what I should pursue, in the next twelve months, but more on that next week. For now, I am finishing up a few loose ends at Home Base and hereabouts. It is clear to me, though, that I am not boxed in-on this Boxing Day.

As We Go

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Posted by on in Assistance, collaborating, Community, Family, Inspiration, Matters of Faith, Personal Values, Service Activities, Social, Spiritual, Striving

December 25, 2022- It’s quiet, this morning, as it often is around here, on any given Sunday. Occasional cars go by, but most people in the neighbourhood are either busy with their worship services or are opening and enjoying their gifts from each other.

My gifts are more of the heart variety, this year. Just having family and friends is always a blessing, whether they are those who include me in everything, or are more selective in their invitations. All are appreciated and loved. It was an unexpected honour to help a former student’s family by transporting aod single gift to their home, yesterday. Being able to finally connect with an old friend who experienced horrific loss, earlier this year, was a bonus. On the way back, it was also a joy to find Sizzler Steakhouse open, get a good sirloin & shrimp combo, and be served by an angel of a young woman. There is a gold mine, in the ordinary.

I have no idea how this Christmas Day will pan out. Siblings are silent, probably busy with a dozen things. Friends nearby are struggling, and need space. After a devotional, later this morning, the whole of Prescott’s outdoors is waiting, along with a likely visit to Prescott Resort’s always scintillating Holiday Display. As with any organic day, I suspect it will turn out magically.

So, no matter where you find yourselves, on this special day, look to the angels in your midst, and to the better angels of your nature, and know that things will turn out for the best, even if they take lots of time.

Merry Christmas, one and all!

No Reindeer on This Ride

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Posted by on in Assistance, collaborating, Community, impediments, Inner Struggles, Inspiration, Personal Values, Service Activities, Social, Spiritual, Striving

December 24, 2022- The father took his teenage daughters to pick out a Christmas tree for their home. He was used to going alone, and picking out a huge spruce, that only fit inside the house after a struggle and some sawing off of limbs. Not this time: The girls saw a scrawny, mini-tree, no more than three feet tall. They fell in love with it, and wanted to take it home and care for it-“Looks so lonely, Daddy!”. Yes, the result was a foregone conclusion, and the tree is said to be sitting in the family’s front room, decorated by Dad and his eldest angel.

With this story under my belt, I headed off to deliver a gift which had inadvertently been mailed to me, by a rehabilitation worker who was confused by a patient sending “too many gifts to too many places.” Spoiler alert: There were four gifts going to two places. No reindeer were over-exercised on this delivery. It was me and my Sportage doing the honours.

After a stop in Flagstaff, to pick up a small gift for a family in the same area, who have been suffering a most untimely loss, I headed to Hopiland. Going to delivery stop # 1, I got Reservation-style directions from a woman who barely knew the recipients, and, combining her comments with the description I got from the sender, I was able to deliver the gift easily, and get the t-shirt that was intended for me and had been mailed to the other party.

The other small gift was then brought to the matriarch of the grieving family, and after a brief offer of condolences, I headed back off the Hopi Reservation, a place that has never stopped feeling like home. “Visiting” Hopi families, during periods of mourning or when the people are preparing for a holiday, is a necessarily brief occasion-unless one is of blood family. Then again, the same has been true of late, with other friends- visits pertain to the matter at hand, and vague promises of “getting together again soon” precede the farewell.

Holidays just are not easy for many.

The Ridge

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Posted by on in collaborating, Community, Hiking and Nature, impediments, Inspiration, Personal Values, Service Activities, Social, Spiritual, Striving

December 23, 2022-

Ocotillo cactus, late blooming and in autumn fade, Ridge Trail, Sedona

Akuura, my Hiking Buddy, and I chose the Ridge Trail as a pre-Christmas route, following a wide loop path, which ended being close to three miles-a fairly easy but vigorous workout. The Ridge in question would have taken us another forty minutes to get to the top-and thus remains a goal for future efforts.

As it was, we got at least one fine view of the great formations to the east and north.

View of Sugarloaf Mountain and Brins Mesa, from first ridge, Ridge Trail, Sedona
Sugarloaf is in the background.
The remnants of last week’s cold snap remain along the washes which drain Carroll Canyon, along which the Ridge Trail runs. Every ice formation tells its own story.
Some juniper trees tell of hard times.

After our loop, Airport Mesa called-with its Mesa Grill providing a fine repast, as always, and the views from the Mesa top offering a different sort of dessert.

Thunder Mountain and Sugarloaf, from Airport Mesa
Sugarloaf and Brins Mesa, from Airport Mesa viewpoint

Ridges, loop trails and sweeping viewpoints also happen in other aspects of life. The afternoon came and went, with no word on the work situation for next semester. Since I have a Plan B, there is not a whole lot of upset on this end. The main thing is that the students get the best possible teacher, given the circumstances.

More immediately, tomorrow will find me on a relatively brief visit to Hopi, to deliver a gift from a hospitalized former student to his wife. The spirit of Christmas will allow for no less.

Surviving The Crush

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Posted by on in Assistance, collaborating, Community, impediments, Personal Values, Service Activities, Social, Spiritual, Striving

December 22, 2022- On the Pine Ridge and Rosebud Oglala Sioux Reservations, in west central South Dakota, people are faced with piles of snow, thirty inches deep in some places, made even more impassible by the deep freeze that has followed Winter Storm Diaz, and has impacted an area from central Alberta to Orlando, Florida. There are people stranded, far from home, along the Missouri River, in both Dakotas and into Nebraska and Iowa. Drones are dropping infant formula and other necessities, as best they can, in rural areas where other transport is presently impossible.

I will be sending some money to help, through whatever avenue that will help the people of the worst-affected region, who are nearly destitute in the best of times. I have been to Pine Ridge, Wanblee, Martin and Rosebud. I have seen suffering and seen the joy that shines in the eyes of the people, when their humanity is acknowledged by those with no agenda. The warrior spirit of the First Nations people, like that of the people of Ukraine, will carry them through this, and the assistance of those fortunate enough to live in an area not as affected by the crushing cold and snow is more than warranted. Thankfully, also, there is an outreach by the State of South Dakota to the Tribal lands. This is an earnest recognition that there is no longer any daylight between the two entities. The Governor is a rancher, whose family has seen this type of horror before, albeit not to this degree. She has had her differences with the tribes, in the past, but weather has erased ideology as a basis for deciding who gets what.

Leave it to calamity to show humans that banding together is the only way any of us can survive.

Possibilities

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Posted by on in collaborating, Community, Education, Entertainment, impediments, Inner Struggles, Inspiration, Personal Values, Service Activities, Social, Spiritual, Striving, Travel

December 21, 2022- On a lark, I spent a little time this evening, watching a show about the misadventures of a young woman in a place for which she was ill-prepared. It had a bit of an “I Love Lucy” meets “Anna and The King” air about it. She was, though, making it work, day to day, when I signed off and went on to other activities for the evening. The gist was that, though she seemed a bit flighty, there was a very strong sense of self-and a pluckiness that brought her eventual success. She was nobody’s fool.

We each face similar situations, even when we stay in place and try to adhere to a certain basic routine. I’ve heard from friends whose lives are rather cut and dried, who have recently been facing challenges they had only vaguely expected. These range from weather that is so cold, that even an Alaska-style battery-warmer would be hard put to keep a vehicle working, to health challenges facing multiple members of a family, at once, and I’m not talking about viruses.

Thus do we find ourselves exploring possibilities. In this little corner, I will be talking with a couple of educators, tomorrow, about filling in at a position for the coming semester. This would make my own routine fairly basic, for the first time in four years. On the other hand, I could keep my present plan, which would have me covering different positions, for 3-5 days each, at certain points in the coming semester. If that plays out, I would still be available for some Red Cross activities and would head to the Northwest and Alaska, in late April, for 3 weeks or so. The other option would be none of the above, a misty, foggy scenario about which I haven’t a clue as to how things would play out. (2020 was THAT sort of year, and things got rather intense-but all ended fairly well.)

Even in “retirement”, the plight of the world, and all those I care about, settles deeply into my consciousness. The possibilities for responsible action remain endless.

Winter’s Arrival.

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Posted by on in Assistance, collaborating, Community, distraction issues, impediments, Inner Struggles, Personal Values, Social, Spiritual, Striving

December 20, 2022- It was a bit warmer today, in Prescott, as we reached the cusp of another Solstice. We are, though, pretty much the exception, across North America right now. All reports I am seeing are of bone-chilling cold; the polar Vortex; no outward sign of the dreaded warming. Of course, long-term vagaries of climatic change are not defined by the events of one season or another. That is of no comfort, however, to those on the Plains, in the subarctic and clear into the Deep South, who are faced with temperatures which are well below zero, in both Fahrenheit and Celsius.

It is the season of “Look out for your neighbour”, much as one does in scorching heat. I am grateful that my mother is in a place where her warmth and safety are pretty much guaranteed. The cold of New England will not be of harm to her. Those in places as far south as Brownsville, TX; clear to Tallahassee and due north to Pittsburgh are facing the Vortex and will hopefully be kept safe, by the vigilance of their community members.

Vigilance of a different form, not depending on weather, needed exercising today-as I noted a friend’s business was under veiled threat from an online commentator. Fortunately, a screen shot of the rudeness was provided to my friend, in time to take action and have the threats removed from that platform. It is quite possible that, as cruelty to animals often precedes violence against humans, so do online posts presage physical attacks. Steps can now be taken to upgrade security in this case.

In closing, I wish readers a Joyous Yule/Solstice, Hanukah Sameach- and an early Merry Christmas. Posts will continue, on a daily basis, of course, but it is never too soon to wish everyone the best.