Tag Archives: accounting for self

Taking Ownership

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Posted by on in Assistance, collaborating, Community, impediments, Inspiration, Personal goals, Personal Values, Service Activities, Social, Striving

March 6, 2023- One of my fellow servers, in the Monday dinner line, asked why I was not putting shredded Parmesan cheese on a small snack of meatballs and sauce that I had taken for myself. I explained about the no dairy and limited grains that are part of my weight reduction plan.

He pointed to his belly, and said, “Not me. I paid for this and I own it!” The implication was: “Come on! Let it go and enjoy life!!” For years, maybe too many, I had the same attitude. I’m tired of it, though. Being of smaller girth actually appeals to me-for the sake of my heart health, if nothing else. So, I will continue the tight regimen, for as long as is necessary-probably another month or two. After that, maintenance will require a modified discipline.

Each of us gets to own our behaviours, as well as our statements. I have, thankfully, been called to account, at first by my parents and other adults, growing up; then by various people, in the years since. Mostly, though, I have been blessed with a very active conscience-which thankfully lets me rest, once I have made any amends that have been necessary, following transgressions great and small.

Taking ownership of life means being consistent, with a fair dose of flexibility-in the sense that plans can be made, while knowing that life can, and does, get in the way. The consistency lies in intent, in a sense of fairness and in communication. Taking ownership of life is also showing the force of example.

So, I enjoyed my snack of a few meatballs, in tomato sauce, cleaned the tables after serving and went back to the apartment, joining an online ecstatic dance group, for an hour or so. No one said an owned life had to be a burden.

Authenticity

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Posted by on in Community, distraction issues, impediments, Inner Struggles, Matters of Faith, Personal Values, Spiritual, Striving

January 5, 2020-

In all the debate about sin, evil and the unfortunate events of life, there is a place for consideration of being real versus living in what one knows, deep down, to be a fallacy; of being authentic versus being inauthentic.

Jordan Peterson, in Twelve Rules for Life, points to the allegories of Lucifer, and of the Egyptian demon-figure, Set, as illustrations of the dangers posed by over-rationalization.  It is, in effect, the opposite of taking ownership of one’s life, responsibility for one’s actions.  Satan always comes up with an excuse for what he’s done-and it’s always someone else’s fault-even God’s fault.  This allegorical depiction of wickedness lays it out straight,though.  Only integrity, ownership of one’s behaviours-and of their outcomes, will serve to bring about a life well-lived.

I had to learn that the hard way.  Losing a spouse brings a person to account, faster than just about anything, even if-as in my case- it isn’t directly one’s fault.  I could not, however, blame anyone for Penny’s passing.  Hereditary disease would have struck her down, at some point, regardless, and all I can do is learn from the experiences of care-taking and of widowhood.  I have taken the lesson that a life of integrity may only be lived if the person living it  maintains authenticity.

Deceit erodes that integrity, first within one’s own heart, then gradually outwardly through one’s circle of friends, one’s family, one’s tribe.  A life without trust is a life of emptiness.

I am fortunate, to have reached a point where authenticity is something of which I am no longer ashamed or embarrassed.