Tag Archives: balance

The Road to Diamond, Day 178: “Like Everybody Else”

0
Posted by on in Assistance, children, collaborating, Community, Family, Inspiration, Personal Values, Social, Spiritual, Striving

May 25, 2025- As I explained that, unless there is a lot of background noise, I can hear people speaking in a normal tone of voice quite well, one of the others at breakfast objected: “Why do you not have hearing aids, like everybody else here?” While I could use a wax cleaning, the fact remains that I don’t have a sustained hearing loss, as yet.

There have been frequent times in my life, when well-intentioned people have urged: “Fit in!” I have, as the years have gone by, pretty much struck a balance between those aspects of conformity that have made sense to me and following my own path. Doing things a certain way, simply because that is what “everybody else” is doing, does not inherently make sense. First of all, no one knows “everybody else”. Each of us knows only a small segment of a given community, and can only claim to have a cursory knowledge of what the rest are doing. Secondly, we know even less of what others do, behind closed doors and drawn shades.

I have basically chosen the road map offered by my parents and other trusted elders, in charting my course and passing along guidance to my son-and the grandchild(ren), when they come. He, and they, in turn, will use their own judgment in adapting to changing circumstances. Conformity only makes sense, when circumstances are the same -as in “driving on the right hand side of the road (except when in countries where it is customary to drive on the left), showing courtesy to those one meets, or bathing/grooming each day,for the sake of health.

So much has changed, though, in my seventy four years, to say nothing of son’s nearly 37 years-or the short lives of my grand nephews and nieces. There are bound to be further changes, and even some of those will be temporary. It is the basics, those behaviours based on love, that will endure and be the foundation for a useful conformity. For those, we can hopefully count on “everybody else”.

Matching Parts

0
Posted by on in Assistance, children, collaborating, Education, Family, Personal Values, Service Activities, Social, Spiritual, Striving

April 17,2024- I was asked, at the end of my last appearance in a particular school, this year, whether I enjoyed the class and the day.

Children squabble, and if gently but firmly kept from escalating their conflict, will move on and find common concerns over which to consult and move forward in friendship. Most times, an observant adult does well to not actively interfere in children’s interactions, other than to guarantee each child’s physical safety. I have found that honoured children will find their way to a place of balance, vis-a-vis relationships. There is often the element of a friendship, when two children seem overly concerned with one another-even if the concern is at first frictional.

Children and teens do look carefully at how the adults in their lives interact. The adults who are there for them are granted the most respect. That young people are sensitive to sensing abandonment should come as no surprise. That they may be slow to forgive someone who just “up and leaves”, like a parent who walks away from the family, is equally self-evident. Kids are the sum of their parents’ parts, and then some.

I have found many “matching parts” in my life-certainly Penny, who was with me for nearly thirty years, our son, Aram, my siblings and extended family, a wide variety of friends, many of whom I count as professional colleagues and one with whom there is a developing bond. We each complement one another, in different ways-and I trust that my presence and actions are of some value to each of them as they are to me.

Yes, I did enjoy the class and the day, as each child with whom I worked learned at least part of a skill set that will serve her/him well, in the years ahead. I enjoy being a part of their whole.

Least Light

2
Posted by on in Assistance, collaborating, Community, impediments, Inspiration, Personal Values, Social, Spiritual, Striving

December 21, 2023- Least light, across the northern hemisphere, is not a nadir.       It is an anchor, along with its mirror counterpart, most light,across the southern realm.    It offers us the hope of resilience, in the minute-by-minute lengthening of daylight.     It brings us the sights, sounds and feels of nature taking a rest, before it burst forth anew.    It offers us the vision of Mother Earth in a balancing dance with our nurturing Sun and her sister planets, with their own moons, even as the Sun prepares to rage for another eighteen months.                                       I had the pleasure of ringing in the solstice, this evening, as Galactogogues, a Prescott band, launched their first album, at our venerable Elks Theater. The family group-mother Meg Boehrman and her three adult children, along with their extended family, drummer and violinist, have kept local fans on our feet, during many performances at the Raven Cafe and some of Whiskey Row’s more genteel bands. It took me a bit of time to feel enough a part of things to get up and dance, but it happened. A friend, Ken, was inspired by my efforts and danced a bit, in his own space, for a few minutes. Someone else, with whom I recently had a dispute, was also there, but I am done with letting anyone’s presence deter me from following my heart. Meg, in the midst of being greeted by the social elite, told me she was glad for my presence. That was inspiration enough to get up and be a part of things.

Now, getting ready for a night’s rest, before the last day of school for 2023, I am listening to the inspiring, and formidable, Buffy Ste. Marie, offering her vision for the future, through songs that propel a 24-Hour Online Dance. I will not be dancing, but will sleep well, knowing that people like Buffy are charging forth, for the betterment of humanity.

https://www.google.com/search?channel=frsc&client=firefox-b-1-d&q=Mister%2C+Can%27t+You+See#fpstate=ive&vld=cid:f5ce7752,vid:E7f_Tk5bD40,st:0
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E7f_Tk5bD40

The Struggles of Good Men

2
Posted by on in collaborating, Community, Family, impediments, Inner Struggles, Personal Values, Social, Spiritual, Striving

April 25, 2022- A co-worker spoke of her husband’s having to wrestle with the uptick in rental rates, and the pressure it puts on those who, like himself, have genuine compassion for their clients who risk being put out on the street. Large scale rental agencies try to do their tasks efficiently, yet are more susceptible to macroeconomics than are individual, or small-scale, landlords, who can choose to cut their own costs or at least negotiate trade-offs with their tenants.

Masculinity matters, just as much as femininity. It hardly needs to come across as ungainly or overbearing, any more than femininity need appear as flighty or sappy. Both forms of energy are needed, in their time and from the same persons, both male and female. My father was tough when he had to be, and the epitome of gentleness and kindness, when those were in order. The same is so with my mother.

Pairings of males and females are essential to society, and even gay couples take their essential relationship cues from their heterosexual fellows. Everyone has a forceful element and a nurturing element. To ignore either one is to hobble in imbalance. Although I am doing well on my own, a keen interest in the well-being of both male and female friends and family is a very basic core of my being.

Long may good men overcome their challenges.

Unstuck

4
Posted by on in Assistance, collaborating, Community, impediments, Inspiration, Matters of Faith, Personal Values, Social, Spiritual, Striving

August 31, 2021- I was given to a bit of a rant, yesterday, none of which I regret. I still stand for the betterment of the lives of people, through networking, consistent effort, perseverance. I will never subscribe to the quick fixes of begging, unilateral solving of other peoples’ problems, exclusion of certain groups for the benefit of the relative few.

A student asked today, whether it was to be the norm for people to be expected to hate being White. It should never be, that anyone be made to hate who he or she is. I stand, foursquare, for inclusion-of everyone, regardless of their falling into any category. It is violence, deluded thinking, taking advantage of others and actively working to deprive others of their God-given rights, which I oppose. The student in question should certainly, always, love who he is.

Many around the world are, simply put, “stuck in second gear”, to quote the theme song of the old TV show, “Friends”. I have gone through periods of such a state of mind and body. The Baha’i Faith helped me get unstuck, but I had to make the consistent, persevering effort to overcome that state of mind completely. Only then could the balance between conservative and progressive, rational and emotional, decisive and contemplative be established.

Being unstuck brings greater responsibility, as well as greater reward, and I look forward to being, more and more, part of the solution, not part of the problem.

The Tenth Anniversary Torrent

0
Posted by on in Assistance, children, collaborating, Community, Education, impediments, Inner Struggles, Inspiration, Personal goals, Personal Values, Social, Striving

August 11, 2021- The nimble little girl danced in the rain, barefoot, to the music inside her head, carefully prancing and pirouetting, along a fairly narrow wall between her alley and the parking lot of a nearby restaurant. S captured my heart several years ago, as a shy, grinning toddler, who proudly showed me how well she could ride her tricycle. She and her family are essential to our neighbourhood, alternately taking a leading role in keeping a sense of balance between an “Over 55” mentality and a street overrun with kids, and being, for a short period, the only child-centered family on the block. I don’t mind the street full of kids part at all, as that was the way it was in my childhood-we children were everywhere. I watched S dance, from my living room window, lest she had slipped and fallen-in which case, I’d have been across the street like a shot. Every child who lives in this block has my heart. As it is, they also have my admiration, especially when living out their dreams.

The afternoon had brought a torrent of rain, on top of yesterday’s deluge. As I watched the sheets of precipitation pour down, I was reminded that it was ten years ago, today, that I wrote my first post on Word Press, after my previous blogsite, Xanga, became monetized. There are people I miss from Xanga, that I have not heard from since 2011. There are also those who turned on me, some for good reason, and others in fits of pique. For the most part, I am still in contact, either here or via other social media, with the Xanga friends who have stuck by me.

Many other changes have enveloped me, in this past ten years. Rage stemming form personal affronts now seems cheap and a waste of energy. I no longer harbour thoughts of long-distance thru-hikes of the Appalachian or Pacific Crest Trails, at least for the time being. There is simply too much to be done, with other people around, both here in Home Base and further afield. I am more contemplative, before speaking or acting. A Basal cell has been removed and my immune system has been largely built up.

is There are other ways in which life is the same. My best friends, locally, are for the most part almost a decade or more, younger than me. My contemporaries don’t understand me any better than they ever did. That’s fine; being someone who is humoured and sent on his way has been my lot, among my age-mates, for a very long time. The “kids”, from Gen X to the Alpha Generation, have come to know me better, as I worked with them day-to-day. I can talk with many of them for a long time, without their passing judgement or getting their socks in a knot over some real or imagined slight. There are exceptions, among the Baby Boomers-like my hiking buddy, but it is with those my junior that I am most in my element.

Ten year into Word Press, self-assuredness and recognition that I am a person of worth have grown-and all the journeys of mind and body have only gotten richer.

Full Power

7
Posted by on in Assistance, collaborating, Community, Family, Inner Struggles, Inspiration, Matters of Faith, Personal Values, Social, Spiritual, Striving

April 4, 2020-

Today, the fourth day of the fourth month, is also seen by numerologists and astrologers  as Universal Year 4. This is figured by adding the digits of the year: 2+0+2+0= 4.  It is considered a year of feminine power, as multiples of two reflect feminine energy, whilst odd-numbered years reflect masculine energy.

I tend to have a balance of the two, having been raised by parents whose power was balanced.  Many, both male and female, who were raised in an imbalance-usually  patriarchic , have judged me as weak or even effeminate, as I  have leaned away from aggression-most of the time, in my earlier days, and always, of late.

Feminine energy, as most of my readers know, is far from weak.  I was raised by a lioness, who nonetheless knew how to nurture, as well how to exact obedience.  My father also showed a good balance of masculine and feminine, in his discipline. So, in my maturity, I chose a career that stressed being both supportive and showing my charges the value of boundaries.  The vast majority of “my kids” have grown to be mature, grounded and productive citizens, even those who have hard lives.

Now, in late middle age, I find myself cheering the arrival of a more balanced culture.  These Twenties are bound to be rough for many, who hang on to shopworn ways of looking at and doing things.  This year has already dragged many through the ringer, and the rest of us just taking one day at a time.  I am still ready to do what is needed to bring in the real sunshine, knowing that the love of the aging is going to be needed, as those of the Rising Generations:  Younger Gen X, Millennials, Generation Z and the Alpha Generation, will be doing the heavy lifting.

Each day is bringing with it, full power-the power each of us needs to effect transition- our own individual, that of the nations and of the planet.  Rise with the Sun, live your day fully and rest well at night.  We are all needed, in our way.

 

As We Grow

2
Posted by on in Assistance, Community, Inspiration, Personal Values, Service Activities, Spiritual, Striving

March 21, 2020-

Is it crucial,

to know who is to blame?

Is it a matter of life and death,

whether one’s opinion

is correct?

Is it reckless,

to take time and

look at a dire situation,

with clear eyes,

and do the right thing

the first time around?

Is it selfish,

to balance one’s

private time,

money,

energy,

with the needs

of the disenfranchised,

the destitute,

the abandoned?

The well, after all,

needs to collect

the rain,

the snow-melt,

the run-off.

The soul

is an energy field,

and thus must

every so often,

regroup from

stasis

and

surge forward,

with renewed vigor.

The sentient being

is always learning,

sometimes from mistakes

and other times,

from immersion

in what is.

We are always

growing.

 

Righting the Ship

4
Posted by on in collaborating, distraction issues, Inspiration, Personal Values, Social, Striving

February 23, 2020-

So, I got back to Home Base around 4 a.m., doing what is customary, under such circumstances: Sleeping for three hours.  It was then time to shower and do devotions, as always, and head off to the American Legion, for the last breakfast I will have with the mates, for a month or so-as my final physical Fast is approaching (March 1-19, this year).  A devotional meeting followed, in Prescott Valley, for which I was actually quite mentally present.

More sleep took up early afternoon, thus righting my physical/mental ship.  Among other things, the illness that lingered, for nearly two weeks, is finally gone.  Maybe the exercise, of pushing myself to do the long round trip to/from Indio, was exactly what was needed to push the remnants out.  Sometimes, counter-intuitive is the way to go.

At last night’s concert, Sheryl took a few minutes to engage the audience, as to who in the crowd was in their thirties, forties and fifties, the last being her own age group.  She asked how many were still having fun, in their fifties-as she certainly is.  A goodly number gave a rousing response.   That’s gratifying; people ought to enjoy life, at any age.  She didn’t ask US-those in our sixties and beyond, but I am, my row mates (also in their sixties) and the seventy-somethings, who were seated across the aisle, seemed to be having a great time of it, as well.

So, on we go. This coming week brings Mardi Gras, Ash Wednesday/Lent and, for us Baha’is, Ayyam-i-Ha (the Intercalary Days of feasting and gift-giving, before our Fast begins, a week from today).

May it be a great run-up to Leap Day!

 

Each One, Let The Other One Live

4
Posted by on in collaborating, impediments, Inspiration, Personal Values, Social, Striving

November 22, 2019-

I am reading the updated version of a young adult novel, “Abbie Wize: AWAKE”.   It is the story of a misunderstood, isolated and battered young girl, who experiences a unique spiritual awakening.  Her main nemesis is her own mother, who appears at this point in the novel as a brutal and controlling menace.

Jordan Peterson’s Rule 10 is ” Don’t Knock A Teenager Off A Skateboard”.  Basically, our task as members of society is to not be so up in other people’s business, that we quash their legitimate joys, experiences and efforts.     This is even true, to an extent, of parents, so long as a child is not harming self or others.

I tend to concur with that sentiment.  My own parents were not brutes and I can count on one hand the number of times I was physically chastised, as a child and teen.  I was not too different, as a father, in that respect.

As adults, many tend to think it is within their boundaries to prescribe to others, exactly how they should be handling their business.  There is a story about an old man, a young boy and a donkey.  As they went on their journey to a town that was ten kilometers away, the old man walked, while the boy rode the donkey.  Some objected, saying the robust boy should let his elder ride.  They switched places and kept going.  Others appeared, berating the old man for making such a small child walk.  The boy joined the old man, riding the donkey.  Animal rights activists chided the pair, for putting the poor donkey under such a strain.  The man and boy decided the activists were right, and began carrying the donkey!  A group of rowdy men gathered, and began mocking the two, for being so stupid as to carry an animal.  The old man and the boy decided to take turns riding the donkey, and so they went the rest of the way in peace.

Dr. Peterson’s point here is not that we should be apathetic towards our fellows, but that we should adopt a posture of seeing each other as they see themselves, and taking steps to encourage right behaviour-rather than aiming our arrows solely at what is being done wrong.

This, combined with his earlier point about listening to one’s critics, calls for a balance in our interactions with one another.  I have learned to measure my criticism carefully, as well as to sift my own naysayers’ words, with a view towards continuous self-improvement.