Tag Archives: funeral

One More Waltz to Paradise

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Posted by on in Assistance, children, collaborating, Family, impediments, Inspiration, Matters of Faith, Personal Values, Social, Spiritual, Striving

July 3, 2024, Woburn, MA- So now, we are orphans. The powerful and beautiful matriarch has gone home to her Lord.

Yesterday, the young man was full of himself. Today, he was crestfallen and needed us all to help him deal with the loss of his beloved grandmother. So it was done. That is the nature of any set of random unpleasantries that take place between people who love one another, in their inmost hearts.

Mom lay in repose, and each of us had our time to say our last farewells. Mine was focused on just how powerfully she drew forth the best aspects of my character, and made of them the engine that has kept me going. We four siblings and, by extension, our children and grandchildren are each that much the better for her long and exemplary life. In the end, she looked as elegant and beautiful as she had at any time in her nearly ninety-six years.

Well over a hundred people filled the event room, at the funeral home-and about 3/4 of them continued on to the interment at cemetery, as well to as the funereal meal. The four of us mingled as best we could, with it being a rare opportunity to catch up with relatives and former neighbours we had not seen in decades. In that sense, Mom wove her last magic. Such occasions are in that sense magical, and reassuring.

Mom’s centering principle was that each of us do the very best we can, in any endeavour-big or small. Making the bed was as important as giving a speech. Washing the dishes properly deserved the same attention as delivering up a quality piece of homework. Her send-off reflected that: My sister’s attention to detail made everything click, as Mom would have wanted. My youngest niece created an exquisite audiovisual collage of Mom’s life, which circulated around the lounge at Polcari’s Restaurant, as we enjoyed light desserts after the ample buffet.

I offer two songs, in gratitude, “Until we meet again”.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sGWs1HK8iDU

Anticipatory Memories

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Posted by on in Family, Inspiration, Matters of Faith, Personal Values, Social, Spiritual

June 20, 2024- Mother always said that the time to honour someone is while they are still alive. So I am sharing some stories of her life, over the next several days.

When I was around 4, Mom got into an argument with someone, who got a bit physical with her. She shoved back and got the better of that person. He never bothered her again. Mom was of medium height, but she was robust.

After my father passed, Mom took up golf. She would go to the links, usually Nine Holes, with a good friend, or sometimes with one or more of my siblings. Even after she was no longer able to do the course, she enjoyed watching golf on tv.

Once, during the summer, when we were about to go to one of my favourite theme parks, called Pleasure Island, a neighbour woman came over and told her that another neighbour had died. She told the woman that she would go to the funeral. Having no concept of time, I thought, for a few moments that the trip to the park was going to be canceled. I knew better than to grouse and complain, but my face fell, just a bit. Mom explained that a funeral was seldom, if ever, the same day that a person dies. We went to Pleasure Island and had a great time.

When I was eight, I read the package of one of my Christmas gifts, and saw “Made in West Germany”, on the label. Sister started to wince a little-so we asked Mom, “Why doesn’t this say ‘Made in North Pole’?” She leveled with us about Santa Claus, and went on to say that the important thing is that there is a God. That was small comfort to me at the time, but I kept the Santa Claus business under my hat and we never told our younger brothers-just let them find out for themselves.

Anticipatory grief is unpredictable, and in this case, I handle it best by remembering stories like these. I hope to share a few more, while she is still with us.

The Light Switches Channels

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Posted by on in Family, Inspiration, Personal Values, Spiritual, Striving

December 11, 2018, Arlington, VA.- 

The day broke, cold but sunny, as twenty family members gathered, to say farewell to their mother figure, who had struggled, her last six years on Earth, to maintain a say in what went on with her life, and those of her beloved children and grandchildren.

Ruth Faust Fellman had to deal with her own failing health, thankfully being aided, day to day,  by a dedicated youngest daughter, a team of paraprofessionals and other family members as we were able to visit, at least now and then.

She left the struggle behind, in late October, with her spirit and her family waiting patiently, one more time, as this day of interment approached.  She will rest with her husband of 64 years, on both this earthly plane and in the spirit realm.  We who remain in the state of “waking”, physical activity know that truly being awake entails life far beyond what we know here.  “Bunny”, her husband (my father-in-law) and their oldest daughter (my wife) are watching us, and helping more than we sometimes realize.

After the Jewish burial service, we the mourners quickly parted company, all except me leaving Arlington, for their homes.  I stayed behind, with my flight back to Arizona not scheduled until tomorrow.  Dinner with a friend, in midtown Washington, would take up the slack, somewhat, and give me an excuse to spend at least a few hours in the nation’s capital.

My main reason for being here, though, was accomplished and Mom’s ninety-two years of service to family and community were suitably honoured.  The tombstone shown below will soon be replaced, by one that pays homage to both husband and wife. I will continue, as she admonished, to give back.

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