The Road to Diamond, Day 260: Selective

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August 15,2025- Each of six groups, of five or six students were asked to prioritize a list of items that might wash up on the shore of an island where the group was hypothetically stranded. There were common choices made by all six groups: Potable water,rope, a burlap bag and a digging tool (sometimes a shovel; other times, a trowel). There were other items that meant more to some groups and not to others. In each case, though, the variable choices reflected the personality of the group.

It is interesting that people double down on their choices, behaviourally and etymologically, not always in the interests of logic. One group of students chose a fishing net; others chose a bag of gardening tools; still others chose a cage trap. Each selection mirrored the attitude that the more vocal members of the group had towards providing food. There were other members who went along with the first recommendation-a commonality in many social groups.

This evening, I attended a steak dinner, in which each of us got to grill our own meat. There were three grills, each of which could fit four steaks at a time. Without hesitation, the first people at the grill made room for those after them, and watched each other’s meat when it was necessary for someone to go inside for a bit. The collective in our organization is hard-wired to not be selective, as to whose needs are met. Each of us is just recognized as equally worthy as the other-whether at a communal meal or when someone needs help outside of social gatherings.

I am eternally grateful to my parents for having instilled this value. Mom and Dad were always helping family and neighbours- and expected us to follow suit. There are people in my life now who have a hard time with that concept. They seem to need an “other”, to hold at arm’s length, and the prefix “non” punctuates their thoughts and language, when comparing their group to the rest of society. It has taken me a lot of patience, in explaining my world view to them. The answer is always the same: “We need to be able to distinguish people from one another.” Maybe I might be more accepting of this othering, but I don’t see where it is going to result in much good.

I have not been able to remain selective towards others, in terms of dignity and worth. This isn’t false humility; it just is how I’m wired.

Destiny

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November 8, 2016, Prescott-

The watched pot may never boil,

the ignored one, will.

The more people are egged on,

the more ends up on the faces,

of the callous instigators.

The proof of a person’s worth,

is not how much influence is amassed,

but how he/she regards those

of seemingly small stature.

The worst that can befall a soul,

is believing that there are those

with whom it is beneath one’s dignity

to associate.

Then, it becomes one’s destiny

to figure out how.

Tomorrow, America will still be America.

Will you still be you?

Passages and Markers

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September 10, 2016, Prescott- This was a day of gatherings and  of paying attention to “urgent” messages.  I have learned that the latter is usually a matter of perception.  The former is how we survive and thrive, as a species.

I made my usual visit to the Prescott Farmer’s Market, buying a bit more than usual, so as to bolster the contents of my evening healthy shake.  A trip over to a yard sale, organized by Baha’i friends, gave me a chance to pick up some books and other items that should capture the interest of the children in my care.

Then it was off to a memorial service for John A. Mortimer, about whom I wrote, two weeks ago.  The chapel service was solemn and done with military honours.  I found it touching and lovely.  The gathering at our American Legion Post, afterwards, was packed, as befits his memory.  One who fully lives, until the age of 96, is unlikely to be bid farewell, without fanfare.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=viHa7jzOUjM

John had the full send-off, and 87 or so people gave him all the love and respect he had earned.

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The above was part of the 70th Anniversary of the D-Day Landing, June 6, 2014.

Today is my mother’s birthday.  No one has been, and is, more of an influence as to how I have turned out as an adult than Lila Mae Kusch Boivin.  She it was, who kept after me to pay attention to my surroundings, to be proactive, to not use my affliction as a crutch, to not wait for an invitation to be of help to those around me.  She it was, who did everything on my behalf- from getting after a hard-edged teacher and a know-it-all school counselor, when she felt they were failing to meet my needs, to seeing that I didn’t wallow in self-pity, on any one of a dozen occasions in my adult life, not the least, when my beloved wife passed to the next plane.   On all the occasions when she thought I was tuning her out, it turns out that I was actually storing all that instruction, and have put it to full use, ever since.  She it is, who is behind my survival and relative success.

She wants to live on, fully, and no one is more behind her on this, than yours truly.  Happy 88th, dearest Mother. (My nephew is conveying our collective sentiments, in this photo of three years ago.)

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