Tag Archives: optimism

The Road to Diamond, Day 175: Connecting, Havening, but No Othering

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Posted by on in Assistance, collaborating, Community, impediments, Inspiration, Matters of Faith, Personal Values, Social, Spiritual, Striving

May 22, 2025- The road to resiliency is whatever length one makes it. Such was the first message at this afternoon’s COPE (Connection/Compassion,Optimism, Perspective, Emotional Intelligence) seminar, at Granite Mountain Unitarian/Universalist Church.

Connection and compassion are illustrated by acts of support, structural language (terms of endearment and understanding) and meaningful/joyful experiences. Public gatherings can be the forefront of the latter, but it is small, intimate encounters that make up the bulk of these. Consistency in supportive language is crucial-from affirmations of affection to words of gratitude. The facilitators, a married couple, offered their ingrained habit of thanking one another continuously-avoiding any tendency to take one another for granted. Finally, “me” is consistently replaced by “we”.

Optimism is signaled by confidence that comes from having met past challenges and a sense that we are building upon those successes. These can be small or great achievements. Self-regulation (breathing, healthy diet, regular exercise, proper rest) is a basic indicator of optimism. So are the practices of incorporating uplifting experiences,a positive forward outlook and a basic trust in a Higher Power. Havening is the process of self-soothing. Besides deep breathing, placing one’s right hand over the heart and left hand on the solar plexus is an example of havening, Another example is slowly passing one hand over the other.

Unity of internal and external perspectives is beneficial. The understanding that everything is temporary, whether positive or negative, encourages savouring the moment, an ethic of carpe diem, accepting that a painful day is no more permanent than a pleasurable one. One may choose to view a challenge as a portal, or see it as a hole. A broad perspective will let one view everything as sacred-whether it be a blessing or a hard lesson.

Emotional intelligence is marked by recognizing, naming and managing own emotions and recognizing those of others. Using emotional intelligence to address three basic human needs (Safety, satisfaction and connection) entails recognition that there is, in reality, no “others” but that we are all extensions of one another, in that regard. The “other side”, of conventional political and social mythology, has the same basic needs as those with whom one more comfortably associates. The key to social cohesion, then, starts with assisting one another, in getting those needs met.

The “rugged individualism” of the libertarian or conservative can meet the needs of some, while the “social contract” of the progressive or liberal can address the needs of a wider segment of society. The key to both lies in avoiding dogmatic adherence to one set of principles or methods of achievement.

In a time of uncertainty and challenge, resiliency is what will guarantee that our communities, and their members, survive and thrive anew.

Ten Gratitudes

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Posted by on in children, collaborating, Community, Family, Inspiration, Personal goals, Personal Values, Social, Spiritual, Striving

November 25, 2021, Grapevine- One of the inherent goodnesses of this day, that is so strangely placed one month after the last harvests have been completed in most parts of the Northern Hemisphere, is that so many people nonetheless stop to count their blessings. There will always be those who say they have none, but that is a topic for another time. The Universe will see such people along, in its way.

I spoke with my mother and each of my siblings, earlier today, and being comforted by the overall spirit of optimism that was conveyed. My little family and I had a lovely Thanksgiving Dinner, which they put together nicely, within the framework of the usual lunch hour. The meal set me to thinking of those aspects of my life that generate gratefulness. These are what come to mind, in this time of ongoing crisis and victory, and in no particular order of importance:

  1. I am more accepted and honoured, by more people, than at any time in my life. Those who once found me strange have expanded their own viewpoints, either by dint of enlightenment or by virtue of going through life’s inevitable grind. I also find it easier to understand their pain.
  2. My judgment is clearer, more focused than it has been in times past. A good part of that comes from moving away from overthinking.
  3. Every person dear to me is in generally good health. Some are getting over mild cases of COVID, but that is more incidental than chronic. They are recovering and will be back in good stead, very shortly.
  4. Humanity is moving in an essentially positive direction. Problems of living will always be with us, and there will ever be the challenges posed by the wayward, the disgruntled and the egocentric. By and large, though, we have as a species made great strides in facing the gauntlet of a harsh world.
  5. I find much to admire, in a broad cross-section of humanity. The groundedness and tradition of conservatives meshes far more easily, in my mind, with the inclusiveness and innovation of progressives than either group sometimes can countenance.
  6. The youngest generations, even in the one-step forward, two-steps back matter of overcoming prejudice, are showing more maturity, at a younger age, by and large.
  7. It is easier to ignore the wirepullers and shrill voices of negativism than it once was for me. Keeping eyes on the prize of a better world is the only true path.
  8. People at the grassroots are taking back their communities, and not in an exclusionary or hierarchical manner. The elites will find that they must meld with the vast majority of humanity, not the other way around-despite the temporary trends in some areas towards control by artificial intelligence and autocratic structures. As people get over their collective fears, they are banding together in a united front.
  9. The growing awareness that the human body has what it needs to heal itself, and that all that is supplemental to this healing may be found in nature, is a corollary to this grassroots renaissance.
  10. The great Spiritual Teachers, speaking with one Voice, are showing us the way towards an even brighter future for this abundant planet.