Tag Archives: self-confidence

Head Held High

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Posted by on in children, collaborating, Education, Family, impediments, Inner Struggles, Personal Values, Social, Striving

March 1, 2026- Hana has developed enough upper body strength to hold her head up, while prone, for several minutes. It will not be long before she can also scoot herself forward, without help. Crawling will come after that. She is able to track the movement of her caregiver and will respond to her name, often by raising her little hand. On top of that, she has started singing little cooed tunes that are in her head.

The biggest contribution I want to make to her life is to ensure that she holds her head high, regardless of circumstances. I am already telling her this, knowing that it will take some time for much of what I say, to register. Still, a lot of what is said to pre-lingual children can register and be used by them later in life. She certainly seems to be storing a lot of information already.

It is my belief that much of the trauma that children experience can be mitigated by a solid first six months following birth. During the newborn phase, many physical and communication skills are initiated. How confident a child becomes, depends on the balance between being comforted in actual times of distress and over-protection, when the child can calm self if given a few minutes to think and reflect, knowing that a loving presence is near, should it all be too much to process.

Hana is getting there, because one or more of us are paying close enough attention to know when she has hit a major bump in the road or just needs a bit of breathing room.

The Road to Diamond, Day 272: Sacred Space

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Posted by on in Assistance, children, Community, Family, impediments, Inspiration, Matters of Faith, Personal Values, Social, Spiritual, Striving

August 27, 2025- A House of Worship should be a sacred space; so should a school. For that matter, a family home should be sacrosanct, as should any place where the occupants are engaged in service to the community-whether paid or unpaid.

It is a tradition, in several faiths, that the human body is the throne to the temple of the spirit. This, alone, is reason enough for each of us to hold self-respect and respect every other person with whom we come in contact. Mild humour aside, casting aspersions on anyone for physical attributes or harmless personality traits, is hardly a mark of respect. Besides, a joke is a joke only if the butt of the punchline is secure enough to laugh along. (I went through a few rough patches, being somewhat humourless at some stages of my youth and young adulthood. Gaining self-confidence erased that dourness.) Intentional physical and psycho-social assaults on another person will eventually boomerang on society-at-large.

These two aspects of life, the sacredness of so much in this world and the fact that many are cast aside or subjected to ridicule or marginalization, often lead to tragedies, mass casualty events, such as today’s horrific assault on a Roman Catholic congregation, in the middle of a worship service. There is never an excuse for wanton murder. There is likewise, no excuse for bullying someone because of personality features or social status.

Sacred is sacred.

The Road to Diamond, Day 148: Silken Affirmations

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Posted by on in Assistance, collaborating, Community, distraction issues, Personal Values, Service Activities, Social, Spiritual, Striving

April 25, 2025- The wind was a bit brisk this morning, as a group of us prepared a fund-raising pavilion, on behalf of Prescott’s school district. Zip ties and clips became the saving graces, keeping the necessary signage in place. A few road barriers blew down and were promptly put back up. Keeping vehicles out of the area is important, both for the many pavilions and for the safety of those whose annual event is the impetus for this fund-raiser. Hundreds of mountain bike riders have converged on Prescott, for the annual Whiskey Off-Road bicycle marathon.

I had several small tasks to do, before going to the pavilion site, to help set up the tables and secure the tents. I learned, a few years back, to just go and do errands, rather than overthink and end up making a mess of things. Self-confidence came hard in my life, but it’s here now, and is not going away. The reward to self was another delicious French omelet at Bear and Dragon.

I got confirmations on two service posts, this week: Again serving as Corresponding Secretary for the Spiritual Assembly of the Baha’is of Prescott. After a meeting this morning, I was also asked to serve as Sheltering Coordinator for the Northern Arizona Chapter of the Red Cross. Much of my hands on work, for both positions, will be done during the summer months. Many other aspects of the duties may be done remotely. The Red Cross Disaster Response Coordinator for the Chapter further said that there is no reason to cancel any travels, next month or later in the year. I will continue to be faithful in making an effort to connect with people here, via Zoom or Microsoft Teams, or by phone, when the need arises.

There have been little hiccups, the past few days, but taking things slowly and carefully correcting matters have kept the missteps from having much effect. Life this week has been full of silken affirmations.

DIM

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Posted by on in collaborating, distraction issues, impediments, Inspiration, Personal goals, Personal Values, Social, Striving

August 2, 2024- The acronym, in times past, could have been used to appeal to my awareness of surroundings. Yes, there was a time when I was often so lost in thought that ” The tree just jumped out at me” or “That sidewalk rose up and tripped me” would not have been an inconceivable remark.

That was then, this is now. Do It Myself is a reasonable goal for me to set, with small projects, given time and You Tube. Project numero uno is to repair a gouge in Sportage’s paint job. I have already done the sanding and purchased touch-up paint, which comes in the proper applicator. I will check You Tube, to see if there is any intermediate step, between wiping the freshly washed surface and applying the paint.

This evening, a novice driver backed into hapless Sportage and the rear molding is cracked, but there is no dent and no damage is underneath-I checked very carefully. So, another You Tube check is in order, as the damage doesn’t come to much more than 1/4 of my insurance deductible. The kid was apologetic and gave me his information, but I think that JB Weld can take care of the cracked aluminum.

Essentially, I am more confident in my early seniority-and why not? I have watched plenty of robust and mature adults take care of fairly small matters. I can do the same, whilst knowing when to get outside help, or seek expertise.

Now if only world hunger were a You Tube fix!

Staying Wary

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Posted by on in collaborating, Community, distraction issues, Family, impediments, Inner Struggles, Personal Values, Social, Spiritual, Striving

July 2, 2024, Woburn, MA- A family member who is not known for tact tried to put me on the sidelines, in the middle of a conversation. I didn’t back away, which rankled him just a bit, but he didn’t push the issue. We’ve had our differences, now and then, but given that he is half my age, I try not to take things too much to heart.

In the past, particularly in my New England years, there was always a small inner circle, in any group with which I was involved. I was never part of that circle, even if there were only three of us. The other two just had a very strong bond, that either pre-dated my time with them, or was established while we interacted.

Only recently have I even had the level of self-confidence to call out those who sought to keep things tightly controlled or at least keep me on the outside of things. My siblings, thankfully, don’t subscribe to such exclusivity. Most of those with whom I interact now are no more exclusionary towards me than they are towards anyone else. Still and all, I am very wary of anyone who draws a circle around self, and makes sure that “the other”, even one to whom s(he) is related, doesn’t step inside.

I used to ascribe exclusionary behaviour to “American culture”, or “elitism”. Anymore, I associate it with insecurity or misplaced anger. No one can be totally accepting of all those around them, in the course of this life, but it stands to reason that moving away from small enclosed circles is mark of spiritual growth.

Reiterations

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Posted by on in collaborating, Community, Family, impediments, Inner Struggles, Inspiration, Matters of Faith, Personal goals, Personal Values, Service Activities, Social, Spiritual, Striving, Travel

December 12, 2023- My horoscope for today says I will reveal my true colours. Truth be known, I’ve been doing that for some time. Historically, I am the world’s worst liar. So, even though I have said a lot of this before, “Double-Twelfth” is a good day for reiteration, to begin wrapping up the cosmic year that started with “Double-First”, a year of introspection and casting out remaining demons, for many. Ahead is a year of action, of putting thoughts into observable energy.

I have been active this year, certainly, and having mentioned those events and processes elsewhere, let me say that next year-the next two years, at least, will see even more of this. After some thought and comparison of costs and routes, yesterday, I am revising my route to an area that is on the itinerary for next Fall ( I will talk about the location on this platform, when it is prudent), to be prefaced by a two-week stop in the Philippines. Unless I hear from friends in Phil that this is not advisable or necessary, that is the plan.

My true colours just reflect love. What I feel for my angel in the spirit realm will never fade. Last week, I got a message from her, that my feelings for a woman now are perfectly acceptable before the Divine-and that I should treat that lady like a queen. It is true that love is the basis for all life-so the colour of love is my most basic hue.

I’ve been tripped up by grief and rebounding, especially for a few years after Penny’s passing. I’ve been hobbled by deep-seated attitudes and fears about myself, that have been brought to the surface and let flow out. Baha’u’llah wrote that love should not blindly lead to error. My thought is that such “love” is not the true kind. Now, in maturity, I see myself as a worthwhile human being-and get a lot of affirmation from those around me, in real time and online. Now, in maturity, I am no longer anxious or overbearing about expressing myself.

That brings up the matter of anxiety in general, and of the need for giving others room to work out their issues-and live their lives. My friends, especially my most beloved, deserve time and space to take care of their personal work. My son, and those I love as if they were my own children-and grandchildren, deserve the confidence and trust that I place in them, to show just how they will move forward. What I offer one and all is that confidence and trust. If you fall down, brush yourself off and go forward-keeping the lesson learned in mind. If you need a hug, it’s here. I will not, though, stand idly by and let you wallow. We are all better than that.

Ahead is a year of building-of a stronger Faith community, of reassurance for members of an extended family (and thus two stops in Carson City, next July) and of another extended family member further north (and thus a stop in Victoria, the same month), of fulfillment of promises both recent and of longer-standing, and of increasing my level of self-confidence-though not to the level of callousness or arrogance.

It’s time to go and tie up a couple of small loose ends-every day has a few such matters. All happiness on “Double Twelfth”, my friends.

Suspicion

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Posted by on in Assistance, children, collaborating, Community, impediments, Inner Struggles, Inspiration, Personal Values, Service Activities, Social, Spiritual, Striving

December 7, 2023- The gentleman regarded me warily, and had several questions, as to my reason for being at a gathering of social justice activists, this evening. I later saw him talking with one of my friends, and pointing in my direction. This friend no doubt vouched for my sincerity and involvement in those organizations that seek to bring about harmony. I later came across a bumper sticker, that said “Love your enemies and you won’t have any.” It seems to me that those who claim to represent social justice ought to work at ridding themselves of judgementality. It helps to have an open heart.

Earlier today, I was with a group of students, who were grateful for my presence, and help in getting calmed down. The lead teacher, not all that welcoming, was at least tolerant of any assistance I could offer. There were few incidents of misbehaviour, and those that did occur were quickly resolved, and in a peaceful manner. The suspicious lead was at least thankful, at the end of the day.

It was mentioned a few times, this evening, that 2023 has been a stressful year. I can sense that, in any number of people, but I have to say that life, in general, can be stressful-in any given year. For social justice workers, this coming year will no doubt be full of stressful moments. The key to not walking about, looking over one’s shoulder, and seeing a bogey man in every closet, is self-confidence. I have had to work on that, mightily, in years past.

It helped, certainly, that I found a message from a dear friend on my laptop, this morning, but even on days when that doesn’t happen, I know to go forward and trust that the right thing is going to be, at least by day’s end.

Admonitions

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Posted by on in collaborating, Education, Inner Struggles, Inspiration, Personal goals, Personal Values, Social, Spiritual, Striving

May 23, 2022- “No, you may NOT spray that girl with the fire extinguisher!”, I told the male student who cradled the device in his hands, whilst looking goofily at his female classmate. He dutifully put the tool back on its hook, and the two of them bantered a bit more, but there was no harm done.

That was the only hiccup, on this penultimate day of the academic year, in the small community north of here. Nonetheless, one never knows when it will fall to a voice of reason to take charge-even among adults, as it happens. Lord knows, there have been times when I have needed an admonition, or two, in moments of heedlessness, fatigue or the residual effects of mourning.

I am certainly grateful for those who have helped me stay on an even course. The admonition given with a steady tone of voice, and an air of confidence, certainly is more effective than one given with a shrill or frantic, screechy delivery. The first shows forethought and love; the second, insecurity and mistrust. I hope to continue to maintain steadiness and self-confidence, both of which came hard.

May all your steps be firm, as well.

A Small Laboratory

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Posted by on in children, collaborating, Education, impediments, Inner Struggles, Personal Values, Service Activities, Social, Striving

December 13, 2021- The young lady doubted herself, as soon as one of her actions as “producer” of a school newscast was challenged by a teammate. It is a minor issue and I’m sure that the regular teacher will help set things right, tomorrow-in plenty of time for the broadcast. This is a little laboratory, scheduled at the end of the school day, representing an ambitious effort at tapping into the technological precocity of many eleven-year-olds.

Life itself is a laboratory, and many of its experimenters fall back on the opinions of those around them, when engaged in uncharted territory. This is all well and good, when someone is mature enough to have trust in both own abilities and in the process of peer review. The peers also need to exercise good judgment, and maturity, in their own work.

Had I ten extra minutes, it would have been time well-spent to sit the group in a semicircle and make sure everyone understood the process. As there was only enough time to actually put together a preliminary product, for the regular teacher’s review and critiquing, tomorrow, we made do with what there was-which except for the small error, was quite good. The fledgling producer will learn to listen more carefully and the earnest critic will learn patience-and hopefully to shed any sense of rivalry.

In the laboratory of life, both the feelings of people during the process AND the final result are equally important.

Quotidian

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Posted by on in Assistance, collaborating, distraction issues, impediments, Striving

October 18, 2021-

It was more quotidian than I thought, this transfer, this purchase of an SUV. The dream of a silver warrior tooling down the TransCanada, next Spring turned out to be a fairy tale. In this realm, there are no fairy tales, and if there are any fairies, they know to make themselves scarce.

It was more quotidian than I thought, this exchange of cash, for a sound vehicle that will do its part, and sans rocket science, but plenty of regular maintenance, will see me safely from one place to another.

It was more quotidian than I thought, driving to the Motor Vehicle Department, sans license plate, with only the transferred title, to prove any validity, with regard to my presence behind the wheel. It mattered none, as in less than thirty minutes, I had accomplished what thousands of people do each year.

It was more quotidian than I thought, this putting a car legally on the road. That says more about my state of mind, than about how the world is working.