Alpha/Omega

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April 2, 2021- Every so often, I get a reminder about the commitment that I, as “an American of some affluence”, must have towards the poor of other parts of the world. It usually comes in the form of a veiled demand, but is at least offered with good wishes for my health and well-being. That stands to reason, as a sick person would hardly be able to offer anything to others.

My dealings with people who primarily view the world through a transactional lens are, of necessity, getting more and more limited. Even among those businesses I frequent, I regard the people therein as friends first, and means to an end second. One example is a local family restaurant, Zeke’s, where I sit at the counter, gab with the wait staff and other patrons, and comment freely on goings on. The same is true of Rafter Eleven, Synergy and, to a lesser extent, The Raven Cafe. It is increasingly true in the schools where I am taking on special assignments until the end of May.

My circle of friends trends larger these days, even with-and in some cases because of-virtual connections. The first and last, alpha/omega if you will, is compassion based on love. Those whose primary focus is transactional have a hard time seeing this-and there was a time when part of me was there. Much of my standoffishness had to do with lack of self-confidence, and a degree of self-loathing, as if I were not “good enough” for others. I suspect that is true of those who behave in this manner now. More’s the pity.

There is, to a good extent, the notion that failure to thrive is a Catch 22, a vicious circle. That realization came to me, about four months after I met Penny, back in 1981. Gradually, over several decades, the self-doubt has fallen away-so that even in the most harrowing of circumstances, the faint light has been in view.

I thought of this today, as the Mystery of Alpha/Omega from 33 A.D.: The Passion of Jesus the Christ, plays out in the minds and hearts of millions across the planet. His basis for everything was compassion, rooted in love.

The Road to 65, Mile 355: Positivity About Myself

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November 18, 2015, Chino Valley- I have a long history of self- doubt and second guessing.  My late wife had just about cured me of these, when her disease took her to the Spirit Realm, five years ago, next March.  On my own, since, I have had to face myself and look at the smiling, approving people in my life, while looking past the stern-faced ones.  The biggest task is letting myself be among the former.

It was a bit tough, this evening, after a good, productive but tiring day, to face a meeting with people who were stern-faced and all business.  I got it done, though I had to get hold of myself, as doubt began to slip back in. Rule Number One, anymore, is not to let detractors get a sense of any vulnerability I might feel.

So, here are three positives about me, which no one can take away.  First:  I am committed to bringing peace, safety and tranquility to the lives of children and other vulnerable people in my life.  Second, I am doing better at taking the time to get my tasks done properly.  Third, I take a larger view of things, so what I can do to help the wider society, in reaching its legitimate goals, is well-worth any personal sacrifice.

I am believing more in my abilities, every morning I have the honour of waking.