The Story of Joan

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This is becoming a trend:  Soul-sharing in the morning, travel-sharing in the evening.  I think that’s how it will remain.

Anyway, my mind drifted back to my high school days, yesterday.  I was trying to find a parallel for just how I really feel about my best friend.  Romantic thoughts just don’t jibe, though she is a beautiful woman.  The thing is, 62, with under 40?  Umm, not very likely.  Brother and sister?  No, and for the same reason.

Here is a parallel.  In the summer of my junior year, I would spend most week days at Fireplace 10, of  Nahant Beach.  I would alternate between sunbathing and hanging in the blanket area, and body surfing, when the tide was coming in.

Although I had no girlfriend of any sort in high school, I had a lot of friends, both male and female.  The girls would often sit down on my blanket and just share their feelings and frustrations, seeking a “safe” male perspective.  It made me feel purposeful.  One of these was Joan.  She is two years younger than I, so she was entering her sophomore year.  There was a guy who was absolutely bonkers over Joan.  She was, and is, a lovely woman.  She was dating a guy already, though, and they were happy.  Charlie was one one of my best friends in school, and Joan felt safe talking with me about her dilemma.  She didn’t want to hurt N’s feelings, but it was she and Charlie, and no one else.

As my senior year progressed, N moved on, Charlie and Joan remained a committed couple and they both were among my best friends.  Joan was probably my best friend that year, and I could share my own hopes and dreams with her, where the guys with whom I hung out were far more opinionated and judgmental, with me and with one another.  Joan also didn’t mince words, when she thought I was being over the top, but there was never unkindness in her demeanor, or her voice.  She just was, and had nothing to prove.

Once I graduated, I would only see Joan now and then, at the Friendly’s Ice Cream Parlor, on Rte. One, or at random parties.  Three years after I graduated, we lost Charlie in a tragic accident.  Joan, bless her, moved on, slowly and with determination to survive and thrive.  She was doing well, the last time I saw her, working out of Boston and traveling, both for her job and for pleasure.  She waxed poetic, on that last meeting, about East Asia, especially Japan.  That was thirty-eight years ago.  I believe she is now a grandmother and still working.

She remains, though, an inspiration and a long-ago source of stability in my life.  I guess that’s why I feel the same about a person who is an inspiration to me now.  Many blessings, to you, my best friend on the planet.

17 thoughts on “The Story of Joan”

  1. Great post, Gary! At some point in our lives we find that one person who remains an inspiration for all time. Someone to relate to and rely on and so much more. You’re lucky to have had a friend to feel that way about and to now have someone else to feel the same way.

    As for age difference, I never thought I’d be in a relationship with someone as old as my father (57) not once but twice. I never thought I’d have feelings for someone a bit older than my dad either, but it all happened and I don’t regret it. I never told the third person how I felt about him though for fear that he’d give me the “I could be your father” speech. I prefer older men because I haven’t had much luck with guys my age.

    Sorry for your loss. I lost a friend in high school in a car accident as well. Hope you have a blessed day! 🙂

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    • In my present best friend’s case, she has a good man her own age. They are working through their difficulties and may very well prevail. I know many women, even a 25-year-old (my son’s age, BTW) who have told me I am “to die for”. Well, be that as it may, I believe each person finds his/her own niche. I hope yours works out, Sandra. May your day be blessed, as well.

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      • Thank you, Gary! My day already started bad but hopefully things will get better. It sounds like it’s raining women around you. Lucky man! Well, I hope God gives you a woman worthy of you and all the good you have to offer any woman. Whoever she is, will be lucky to have you. Best wishes! 🙂

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    • Further considering your observation, it’s not so much “raining women”, as having them dance around me in a circle, smiling and comforting me, while staying somewhat out of reach. It’s okay, everyone’s happiness matters, not just mine.

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      • Well, whoever you end up with will be very lucky like I said before. 🙂 It sounds like you have a lovely group of women supporting you emotionally. I am the kind of friend who will offer a shoulder to cry on and ears to listen anytime. You can talk to me anytime! You’re right, everyone’s happiness matters. You seem like a happy man. I hope you continue to be happy and find that person you’d wanna share your happiness with and more. You’re truly an inspiration, Gary! I am glad we’re friends. 🙂

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      • You have this part right, Sandra. It’s not the trappings of support (romance,physical contact, etc.) that matter, but the emotional support. I regard you as part of that group of friends, Sandra.

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    • Thoughtfulness and niceness are good qualities to have. Many women choose rough, rude and thoughtless men, because they make it their mission to “fix” the man’s deficiencies. I have yet to see that work.

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    • I know, John. We talked about some of that, and I think, in your case, it’s the ladies who are losing out. You have a poet’s soul. I don’t, so in my case, they’re better off without.

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    • I think her friendship is the nicest thing to have happened to me, in a very long time. Like anything else that’s fragile, though, it must be handled more carefully, and I tend to be: “Let’s play china shop. I’ll be the bull.”

      I value all my friendships, in spite of myself. That includes yours, Jo.

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