On Wednesday night, I drove into the first Forest Service campground to which I came,after my friend in Del Norte said the rental cabin was being renovated, and was unavailable. As it was a calm night, and free of moisture, I rolled out my ground tarp, bed pad, sleeping bag and pillow, and got ready for sleep. I prefer that there is nothing between the stars and me, whenever possible.
Just before greeting the dream world, I placed my watch and camera on the picnic table. There was nothing else on the table, at that point. I would occasionally wake, regard the starry sky with awe, and contemplate all that I had seen and heard on this trip, both good and bad. Generally, though, the sleep was restful.
In the morning, I awoke, took my change of clothes into the latrine, got dressed and shaved. I went over to the picnic table and retrieved my watch and camera. There, right next to them, were two polished silica rocks. These did not remotely resemble anything that was on the ground. I will probably never know, in this life, how they got there, or who left them.
It did get me to thinking. Rocks get a silicone quality through fire, rough treatment by wind and water and more heat. I thought of my wife, who suffered mightily, her last eight years, yet maintained a cheerful disposition until nearly the end of her days. I also thought of friends, one in particular, who are undergoing extreme pain and stress, at the hands of people whom they trusted. I then thought: “Gary, are YOU being trustworthy? Are you making situations better, or worse,by your own behaviour?”
The pain and suffering in this world are seldom about me. I am almost a poster child for Bob Dylan’s “Positively Fourth Street”, or Keith Emerson’s “Lucky Man”, yet I do have more to me than a goofy, smiling face. My friends’ hardships are my hardships, by choice, and I will not rest easily while any of them are in pain.
They in my social circle, though, tend to be fiercely independent and want to do it all themselves. I know the feeling. I didn’t want or expect much help, when caring for Penny. Our son was there, doing things a teenager should never have to do. Otherwise, it was my wife, polishing her stone, and me, moving forward, one step at a time, and not knowing what was ahead for me, once she was gone.
I have purchased a book, about a friend’s late child, and her struggle with cancer. I will read this with close attention, because it defines the attitude we each must have in facing horrific pain, every bit as much as did my wife’s struggle with neurological disease, and those of countless other friends, and friends’ relatives, who have struggled with, and sometimes succumbed to, relentless disease.
To whom much is given, much is expected. I am sorry to those whose needs I could meet, but haven’t always. At the same time, know that every waking moment, you are in my heart, and need only say- “Hey, FRIEND, what about me?” None of us need burnish our stones in isolation.

( I will share this on Facebook, though it is somewhat personal, just because there are people on FB who need to be re-assured that they are deeply loved.)