The Road to 65, Mile 15: Validation and Respect

December 13, 2014, Prescott- I watch my favourite television shows on my laptop, a day after they are aired on TV.   This evening, I  watched a segment of “Blue Bloods”, in which one of the issues was respect between a husband and wife.  Validation of  a woman’s goals and aspirations was a matter of  personal growth for men of my father’s generation.  My mother did that for which she was trained, hairdressing and cosmetology, working out of her kitchen, as part of putting food on the table.  Dad respected that choice, and valued her efforts.

It was a no-brainer for me, that Penny would work at what she loved best, and at what she excelled.  We worked a few times in the same schools, and her efforts often exceeded my own.  I learned to be sensitive, to avoid small acts or statements which could be misconstrued as disrespect for her work, or for her thoughts, goals, dreams.  There is a lot of subliminal sensitivity among Baby Boomers, stemming from our place as a transitional generation, one of whose tasks was to establish a true equality between genders.

Society is not there yet.  Women, by and large, do get validated, in terms of their aspirations- up to a point.  There remains the Glass Ceiling.  There still exists the disparity in salaries, between genders.  Both genders, to a large extent, regard rape as a victim-initiated crime- even, among some on the far right, a contrived crime, either instigated by the woman, or made up by her-for various reasons.

To be sure, there are those who use rape as a cudgel.  Such women, though, are a very small percentage of the total post-pubescent female populace.  Their acts should neither define public policy nor be the determinant of society’s attitude towards the vast majority of victims of sexual assault- female or male.

As an educator, as an uncle and as a friend, I regard the aspirations, the efforts and the boundless intellectual and ergonomic gifts of women and men on an equal level.  As a fellow human, I regard a person’s body, space and well-being as inviolable.  Each of us has had to struggle with emotional and spiritual baggage.  I have disposed of much of my own, especially in the past dozen years.  I have imparted to our son, the imperative of being at eye level with any woman he wishes to bring into his life.

Being in the world, living a complete life, means extending that right to all others.  Slowly, and steadily, the human race will realize that gender equality brooks no leeway.

4 thoughts on “The Road to 65, Mile 15: Validation and Respect

  1. There are some topics that I hesitate to voice my views strongly — this is one of them. Sexism in my mind is akin to racism — womer and people of color are no less people than white males simply because of the circumstance of their birth. Having said that, I do believe that pay should be equal for equal work, no matter who performs the job. All people should enjoy the respect of others. The feminist movement of the ’60’s was effective as far as it went, but, as you say, it didn’t fully accomplish its goals, and I believe that people grew tired of hearing Betty Friedan continuing to demand the same demands. I also believe that the current political scene in our country has diminished the status of women and people of color — and that the sloganizing of these issues may not always be productive in response. It is my hope that the country will continually work towards equality for all people, regardless!

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  2. I love watching Blue Blood. I love that family unity. 🙂
    I do find that most women who may be raped, is accepted, and could be for the awareness given. But there are some countries that, does not recognize rape, and women are still considered lower than the man. It is a pity, that those are the very countries that produced women leaders.

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  3. indeed, a no-brainer.
    i was raised by a woman so strong, even in her stormy depression, that equality was never an issue. or it was a non-issue. and i have finally learned, to be ‘sensitive’, as much as that is possible for me, and appreciative of men, as beings in different bodies, with a different balance of hormones.

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