February 7, 2019-

I’m still working on channeling my intensity, properly.  Most of my difficulties, as an autistic person, have come from not knowing when to dial back a bit.  Fortunately, the progress I have made on this issue has come, courtesy of supervisors, friends and family who have been direct with me, without the cruelty that has come from others with narcissistic agendas of their own.  I appreciate direct feedback, IF it is related to better doing the task at hand or concerned with my being a more whole human being.

I have, over the years since Penny passed, on occasion been drawn to women who befriended me, and, misreading their actions and statements, went off on  woefully wayward tangents.  Nowadays, I am supremely careful, along those lines. I remain a person of intense feelings, and these are more being channeled towards the well-being of my friends and family, as they define it.

So, my interest in the lives of people around me is less prescriptive, and more intuitive-a lot more measured, in the direction of empowerment.  Life is richer that way.

17 thoughts on “Intensity

  1. Don’t feel bad. I was tormented as a teenager and hate bedside manner with doctors or nice guys. They were the only ones nice to me, like your friends. I have a hard time not filling up with awarenesses and flooding thoughts. Too many ego deaths. Prolixin makes me a little stronger. Most of me is already dead. Oh well, I float happily away. Keep on swimming. Congrats on being human.

    Liked by 2 people

  2. I’m not going through any more of those ego deaths. No seeds allowed. I have assholes like this who think they’re so clever just because someone is young and trying to survive, doesn’t know. I hate Marilyn Manson and hope to end his reign on this planet. He just wants attention and greatness, to prove how we have no human rights. You could fix people? The last one was totally my fault because I enjoyed anger and pain.

    Liked by 1 person

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