The True Standard

14

November 5, 2019-

Returning to Jordan Peterson’s “Twelve Rules for Life”, #4 states “Compare Your Present Self Only to Your Past Self, not to Anyone Else.”

As social animals, we so often give other human beings far too much credit, for perfection or superiority.  I’ve heard from so many:  “It’s cold and lonely, on the pedestal.”

So, I have made it my business to measure my progress, compared to where I was-six months ago, twenty, thirty or forty years ago.  Then (1970), I hid from my peers.  Now, I am in the world, but not of it.  Then (1977), I found solace in the bottle.  Now, I find peace and tranquility in service, in meditation and in standing up for the downtrodden.  Then (1982), I handed out money on demand.  Now, I contribute reasonably, without caving in to every demanding voice or thrust-out hand. Then (1981), I viewed different people with different lenses. Now, every human being is seen in the light of their character.  Then, (1954-1986), I looked upon myself as essentially unworthy of love, as damaged goods.  Now, I am proud of what I have achieved, no matter what others might view as inadequate.  Then, (until 2010), I saw myself as a frequent victim of “politicians”, “the Elite”, “the Establishment”.  Now, I see those in positions of power as basically living out their own life plan, without seeing myself as a pawn on their chessboard.  Then, (prior to 2012), I had no idea why I behaved atypically, so often.  Now, I know I have a place on the Autism/Asperger’s spectrum-and that’s okay.

The only true standard we have is our own life.

Hard-Wired

7

May 4, 2019-

Today has certainly been a splendid day.  I never feel more alive than when I am strolling the Prescott Farmers’ Market, learning new things about the produce that ever abounds here, and the advances in Earth-friendly natural solutions to our environmental bug bears.  For example, today I was introduced to Soap Nuts, a lavender-based, eco-friendly laundry product, which may be re-used as many as eight times.  See http://www.heddaskincare.com, for more information on this unique product.

I was able to pass, to another person, a mattress that had been sitting, unused, in my apartment, for the past five years.  Needless to say, I have given myself the gift of more space and will continue this process, over the next few weeks.  Lastly, I completed the online documents needed for my new work assignment.

I am hard-wired- to love other human beings, to forgive all but the most egregious and willful assaults on my character.  I am hard-wired, to not anchor myself to any one place too long; instead, to want the very best for every soul I meet-even if that best requires my absence from their lives or their absence from mine.

I am hard-wired to be proactive, in solving issues; to share what I have, sometimes down to the nub.  I am hard-wired to regard no matter as being intractable, to regard even the slowest of progress, as forward motion, nonetheless.

I am hard-wired to neither be discomfited by crowds, nor by isolation.  I am good, with huge numbers of people,  or none at all.  I am hard-wired to look past a person’s outer shell, no matter how ungainly or repellent he or she wants us to believe is the case.  There is good, detectable in most, and definitely present in all-even to the extent of a “grain of a mustard seed.”.

I am hard-wired to cherish life.

 

Intensity

17

February 7, 2019-

I’m still working on channeling my intensity, properly.  Most of my difficulties, as an autistic person, have come from not knowing when to dial back a bit.  Fortunately, the progress I have made on this issue has come, courtesy of supervisors, friends and family who have been direct with me, without the cruelty that has come from others with narcissistic agendas of their own.  I appreciate direct feedback, IF it is related to better doing the task at hand or concerned with my being a more whole human being.

I have, over the years since Penny passed, on occasion been drawn to women who befriended me, and, misreading their actions and statements, went off on  woefully wayward tangents.  Nowadays, I am supremely careful, along those lines. I remain a person of intense feelings, and these are more being channeled towards the well-being of my friends and family, as they define it.

So, my interest in the lives of people around me is less prescriptive, and more intuitive-a lot more measured, in the direction of empowerment.  Life is richer that way.

Holistic

9

February 1, 2019-

It is a true state of ecstasy,

to see each person

as s(he) ideally sees self.

It is most fulfilling,

to be free of baggage,

when looking upon

even the most attractive

of women.

This is how real progress

is made,

in solving the issues

that most need solving,

rather than constantly

rehashing issues

which mankind ought

to have resolved,

ages ago.

Let this month

of celebrating love,

be rooted

in celebrating the

whole person.