Loving, In The Face of Hatred

January 18, 2020-

Much of the past two decades has seen me fairly being fairly comforted by those around me.  Even two rather difficult people, with whom I had to interact for a time, in the mid-2010’s, were at least offering constructive criticism, rather than trying to see me on a path of destruction.

So, it was rather jarring, last night, to open a message feed and hear a slew of expletives, directed towards both me and my late wife (who has been gone for nearly nine years).  It thus became only the third time I have felt it necessary to block someone from access to my social media. While I can blow off people cussing at me, to a fair extent, I draw the line at my nearest and dearest-especially the departed.

I know that modern-day America behaves as if there are no sacred cows, or anything else that is sacrosanct.  This is the Age of Comedy Central, Cartoon Network and all manner of bottom feeders.

We Baha’is are taught that no one should be considered as a  desolate soul or beyond salvation.  It’s certainly reasonable to recognize that the Supreme Being has it in His power, to make gold out of mud, and thus we mortals are in no position to judge anyone, in perpetuity.  We are also taught, however, to guard ourselves from those who mean us harm.  A soul lasts for eternity and enabling someone, in his/her bad behaviour, is doing no one any favours.

It is entirely possible to love a person and take the steps needed to safeguard everyone involved.  I did so last night, and this morning.  The hate-filled individual cannot harm me, nor can he denigrate Penny, at any time in the foreseeable future.

10 thoughts on “Loving, In The Face of Hatred

  1. Your Faith and resilience toward justice are heartwarming. Justice is a protection of one’s own soul, and for others. To cut off a person from being dysfunctional, destructive, and hurtful toward others, is a form of justice. Toxic individuals do not see in-the-moment how toxic they are, so setting boundaries for yourself can be a wake-up call, as time goes by, for the other person. I am sorry you had this happen. I know your Faith and resilience will see you through.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Hi Traveler,

    I’m sorry for this pain. Growing up in a toxic environment, on my 30th birthday, in a fragile state, and contemplating my own death, had to make, what was once explained to me as, “Life Sustaining Decisions.” I had to make a legal change in my familial status to protect my body and soul, had I died of AIDS in the 90’s. I could not allow toxic people access to my corpse and do whatever they pleased with it.

    it was explained to me that “Life Sustaining Decisions” need no explanation. That i did not need to list these two important decisions in my step work, because I did not need forgiveness nor absolution for making said decisions. That truly pissed off toxic family that only got worse and not better.

    It took me thirty years of verbal and physical abuse to say, ” I, Have Had Enough, of YOU!”

    To this day, I vowed then, that nobody would ever denigrate me, abuse me, or speak to me nor treat me in a way that was not dignified and respectful. I earned my place in this world and i work, to this day, to make my life one of love, honesty and dignity, and anyone who does not wish to share in that life goal, can just drop off the face of the earth, because I don’t have time for you. I don’t hate anyone, and it took me a long time to get here. But I will not be a participant in someone else’s vitriol. I don’t have the time nor the patience to listen to that shit any more.

    And some call me arrogant and unforgiving. That I do not own the right to be my own person. I beg to differ.
    God saved me from imminent death, wasting time in negativity and hatred is pointless.

    That goes the same for you. You own your life, and who you allow into it is your decision. Karma is a bitch, and one day, those who cause chaos and strife will pay in the end. And it won’t have anything to do with either one of us.

    When my father died, hateful and spiteful, I turned him over to God. I’m sure they had quite the conversation when he arrived. Whatever was decided in his fate was none of my doing, but his own. And my mother will have to have that same conversation when she gets there too. And on January 1st, 2020, in my 52nd year, I’ve turned all those people loose to the creator. let Him sort them out. because I don’t want that responsibility.


    Liked by 1 person

    • You did the right thing, for your own life journey, Jeremy. I have a nephew, who is Gay and is loved just as much, by his parents, and by all of us, as are his siblings and his cousins. The responsibility for another’s soul is indeed only that of the Creator.


  3. Well, I felt bad for cussing my grandma out last Saturday. I was having a hard time controlling my illness. It was the middle of a snowstorm and my grandpa didn’t want to take me to the hospital when I needed to go, and they didn’t want me to call an ambulance, so I became aggressive. They’ve forgiven me. I lost it and was shaking and suffering, not that that’s a good excuse. Now I have an emergency medicine to knock me out when that happens. That’s all they do at the hospital.

    When I was in a haze without thought, I attacked this grandma. She puts up with me. That wasn’t like this time where I was somewhat conscious. Back then, I was incompetent and peeing on myself and doing other things.

    As far as lost souls, I used to be full of hatred because I wasn’t working through my emotions and was poorly developed, as you note society has become, too. One liners of cliches rule. We aren’t maturing or dealing with simple issues like anger. I’ve learned to feel bad for other hateful individuals because they damage themselves the same amount they hurt others. I usually try to find out what they need and tell them, but I know better than to keep them in my life. Some people refuse to change unless forced.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. So glad you were able to insulate yourself from the toxic effects of this person’s words. You are right that no one is beyond redemption. However it is not your or my responsibility to lead them to the light. I place that in God’s hands.

    Liked by 1 person

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