Bloodlines

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March 17, 2026- Today being St. Patrick’s Day, my thoughts go to the Irish heritage on both my mother’s and father’s sides. The Kusches, who hailed from Szcezcin, Poland, back when it was Stettin, Pomerania, ended up in St; Louis and Chicago, by the mid-19th Century. Papa Kusch journeyed east, as a young man, and became a shoemaker in Boston, and a small farmer in Saugus. Before they were Kusches, though, they were Cooks-in the area around Wexford, Ireland. Poverty, and the Hanseatic League’s allure, brought them to the Baltic shores. The family was proud of having been prosperous in Germany, and in the Midwest, and I heard little about our Irish roots, but I always felt a draw to the Emerald Isle. Mom had me pledge to look into her side of the family, when we talked of the genealogy that my Dad’s older brother had compiled. I thought that meant going to Pomerania, but last summer’s visit to Wexford, and nearby Rosslare, brief as it was, introduced me to a few people who looked strikingly like my mother and aunts. I later learned their family name was Cook. Part of me wants to go back and spend more time there, but that will need to wait.

My granddaughter will have far taller order, should she ever want to check out her roots. Half of her bloodline is Korean, and there are probably some Chinese ancestors. going way back. The other half is Heinz 57: German, English, Irish, French, Penobscot, Jewish, Lithuanian, Romanian, and Scottish. Her present and near term well-being, though, has me refocusing my energies. The journeys I undertake in the foreseeable future are all along the paths of introducing a little soul to the wider world.

That brings me to a separate point. There was once, at a Baha’i-sponsored conference in Florida, a zone set aside for protesters. Neo-Nazis and Black Separatists found themselves next to one another, in that small zone. There are, on both the Far Right and Far Left, those who today preach the credo of division. The truth about human relations is “whatever we say it is”, and any who call for reconciliation between ethnic groups or “racial” entities are accused of clinging to outmoded, discarded concepts. I beg to differ: It is the very divisions to which they cling that are outmoded, counterproductive and dangerous. Clothing them in academic jargon, or using tones of ridicule, do nothing to bring a longed-for peace. I have to wonder if peace is even what they want- or is conflict more alluring?

Regardless, as Hana and others of her generation show, bloodlines are no respecters of truly outmoded ideologies.

Blue Streak

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March 16, 2026- My work as Hana’s weekday caretaker started today, sort of. Her mother’s return to work saw a light workload, so Yunhee was around for much of the day, With new items that she had bought, I was able to devise a new activity for Hana to practice. The inflatable seat gives her a soft, but firm, place to sit upright, for a few minutes at a time, It is close enough to a wooden rack, from which some plastic rings are hung, that she can reach and grab the rings-one at a time, and hold onto them for two-three minutes. This adds to the short activity of lifting her head up and looking straight ahead, also for a few minutes, in anticipation of learning to crawl. She also enjoys the manipulation of the balloons, using her legs.

A side effect of these is that, as I am talking to her during the activities, Hana is picking up words here and there: “Wow”, “Yay”, and a clear form of “This is fun” (which she hears on a Sesame Street audio toy). Without teeth, her speech is mostly babbling, but a keen ear can pick up one-syllable words. She is “talking” almost constantly now, so I will not be surprised if her actual speech surfaces early. Penny was a gabber; so was my father. Aram can be loquacious, also.

She is also quite assertive about expressing her needs-with the customary loud crying one expects from an infant, as well as facial expressions-and certain babbles made with eye contact. This, too, presages early command of communication skills. We pay attention to her, so the assertiveness is being reinforced. The activities I mentioned above are done in short increments, three times a day, which I think will reinforce her learning. I look forward to each day, whether she holds her own, advances further or needs to slip back a bit. All in all, I notice that Hana is already motivated to learn. She will go at her own pace, without pressure from us.

Pledges and Promises

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March 15, 2026- Hana looked at me with concern in her eyes, as I was next to her, while she was busy pumping her legs in the balloon exercise that I described a few days ago. It seemed she was wondering what I was thinking, as my face was serious. I told her that I wanted her to go after whatever dreams she might have, as long as they help her and other people. She likely has only a very limited understanding of what I was talking about, but a smile returned to her face.

I finished reading “Nobody’s Girl”, by Virginia Giuffre, who was prominent in getting the Epstein Files top of mind, for so many people. She died last year, under murky circumstances, with even one of her own collaborators casting doubt on her mental stability and the status of her marriage. Any of the insinuations, or none of them, could be true. The woman had more health issues in her last years of life than most people have to even momentarily face. It may have been impossible for her and her husband to stay together, though she ends her narrative on a positive note, in that regard. (The collaborator makes a veiled reference to the couple being “estranged”, in the opening pages of the book and a Wikipedia article on Virginia casts her husband as an abusive brute. That same article says that the FBI doesn’t believe a word she said about a sex trafficking network headed by Jeffrey Epstein.)

The drivel in parentheses is one of the reasons that I take official accounts of abuse of women and children with several grains of salt. When I was a counselor, and a young person, usually a girl, came to me and said s(he) had been abused, only once was it untrue-and that fabulist came to me on her own and admitted she had made the whole thing up. I was far more skeptical of people in high places-or journalists, who took the side of the accused. There was always money or power behind their counterclaims. Generally speaking, I found that children should be seen, heard and believed.

I’ve said it before, and will maintain as long as I have all my faculties and senses about me-no one hurts my granddaughter-ever. That was what was on my mind, when she looked at me, with such probing eyes.

Ever Friends

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March 14, 2026- My hiking buddy, back in Prescott, lost her best fur baby yesterday. Cancer took the lovable fluffy cat, leaving behind her “brother” and their devoted human. I know the pain of losing an animal friend, having had to put down two of my dogs, over a period of fifteen years-and having seen a third, who I had sold to a woman an hour from our then house, dead by the side of the road, near her house, four months after he had been sold.

Animals, from fish and snakes, to cats, dogs and horses, enrich our lives, in ways that can’t be quantified in dollars and cents. It is a shame that dogs and cats cost so much, these days, as pet ownership has been so heavily monetized. That is not the reason why I don’t presently have an animal. My peripatetic nature, while I lived in Arizona, had more to do with that. An animal deserves a human who will be able to offer quality time and attention to its needs.

There may come a time when my grandchild(ren) show(s) interest in having a pet. In that case, I will support the choice that the family makes. It was good for Aram to have been around dogs, and to a lesser extent, around horses. It may be good for his child(ren) to experience the same All I would ask is that the kids treat the animal kindly and that the animal be of suitable temperament to be around children.

A good animal-human match is a forever friendship.

Balloon Game

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March 12, 2026- Spending time with an infant is not just feeding, changing diapers and being close by while the baby sleeps. There are developmental skills to be nurtured and a bond to be established.

Hana likes a new game, where two differently coloured balloons on strings are tied loosely to her ankles. Each balloon is anchored by a magnetic clothespin. As she lies on her back, she can make the balloons bob up and down, by the kicking motion that comes naturally to a newborn. She is fascinated by the movement of the balloons and by the fact that she has control over how high or low they go. She is also showing coordination between her two legs. To her, though, the best part is looking over and seeing that either her mother or I is lying by her side on the mat, enjoying the activity as much as as she is. Having her face light up is worth everything.

She is also fascinated by lights, staring at the chandelier or at the “on”light of a humidifier. Tree branches waving in the breeze draw her attention as well. This little girl knows no boredom, and I hope it long stays that way.

Each of us needs a balloon game, to develop skill and keep us occupied for a reasonable period of time.Each of us also needs to know that someone recognizes what we’re doing, and hopefully shares in the joy we feel while doing it.

Clean Tools

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March 9, 2026- The City of Plano hauled away a large pile of cut branches, from Saturday’s storm. The haul took place bright and early this morning. It was a good second day of daylight savings time. It saved me the trouble of sorting the branches into piles.

My only remaining task from yesterday was thus cleaning the chainsaw. That brought a trip to Lowe’s, for bar and chain oil, an awl for cleaning the bar reservoir and microfiber cloths for wiping te tool clean. I also got a special oil for the battery posts, to be applied before the next use.

I am quite fastidious about cleaning tools after using them-and that goes for appliances as well. Cleaning the washing machine, dryer, dishwasher and yes, even my laptop-which does tend to get dusty, has its place in the scheme of things. If I could just get around to washing the windows……

Housecleaning can apply to countries, as well. The President of Mexico brought up a good point-that we in the U.S. work on our addictions, before wanting to solve the problems of her country-and others. It is not rocket science to determine that American weaponry is being used by drug cartels to provide “security” for drug shipments that support American addictions. Europe has similar problems, but they tend to work on their own issues, before, say, sending troops to Africa to deal with that continent’s drug traffickers. One thing I noticed, in travels through Canada in 2022-2024, the Philippines, over the past three years and Europe, last year, is that the police forces in those areas are quite on point, when it comes to busting drug dealers and gangs. Many parts of the U.S. do their jobs well also.

We do best, though, by dealing with the tough parts of our own issues first, before wanting to invade Mexico or indulge in regime change elsewhere. People in most countries have agency. Don’t take that away from them.

International Women’s Day

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March 8, 2026- I had the best of intentions, ordering a lox and tomato bagel for my daughter-in-law , for International Women’s Day, especially as it was part of the local bagel shop’s fundraiser for prevention of violence against women and girls. Saved By The Bagel is a take-off on a popular 1980s sitcom, “Saved by the Bell”. Yunhee is on a dairy-free diet, for Hana’s sake, until mid-April. I forgot that bagel shops almost always add a shmear (cream cheese), so when I got the sandwich home, she contented herself with the tomato, onion and lettuce on the part of the bagel that had no shmear. She said she also doesn’t eat lox. It meant more to her that I honestly loved the beef stew she had made, three days ago. I had four bowls of it, two on the night it was made. I also spent the afternoon with Hana, so that Yunhee could have a few hours to go shopping for items she wanted, or the house needed.

One of those items was an electric chainsaw. She got a deal on it, and proudly presented it to me, knowing that I wanted to tend to the bough that was 80% severed from the oak tree in the front yard. I got the chain on the wand, but had to consult my neighbour on the corner, as to the finer points of tightening the chain. This led to his coming down to the yard and essentially cutting the bough and its branches, as the saw is one of his favourite tools. His son-in-law was along, to help me keep the ground around him free on fallen branches. There is nothing more dangerous than someone who gets carried away with a power tool. We three managed to get the job done in less than an hour. I offered them the better pieces of cut wood, but they declined. I got in my exercise by moving the debris to the back, by the alley, where I will cut the longer branches down to smaller units tomorrow.

That part had nothing to do with IWD, other than getting the men out of the house. International Women’s Day is never about men giving things. It is more about women empowering themselves. The notion that female humans are inherently worthwhile, and don’t need men to complete them, is oddly enough, only fairly recently a widespread concept. There have always been women who have stood on their own two feet, for life. Some have married; others just forged their own successful paths. Some have raised children; others found fostering animals more fulfilling; still others found the nurturing of ideas and creating products more to their liking.

On this International Women’s Day, I recall the lives of my grandmothers, who raised twenty children, between them; of my mother, who raised five of us and was the glue for her extended family; of my sister, who remains a matriarchal figure for her children and grandchildren; of my late wife, who earned three Master’s Degrees, the last while in declining health. There are women whose memorials I have visited: Civil Rights icons-Coretta Scott King, Fannie Lou Hamer, Nina Simone; Holocaust victim Hana Reiner, and astrophysicist Eleanor “Glo” Helin, whose asteroid research is celebrated at her place of work, Palomar Mountain. There are the women friends who work wonders, every single day, in fields from astrology to auto mechanics to home renovation.

Mostly, though, I look ahead, to all that my daughter-in-law has left to achieve and to all that my granddaughter can choose. My grandnieces, likewise, have an infinite realm of possibilities in front of them, because of the work that their mothers and grandmothers have put into having their strengths, ideas and dreams recognized and appreciated.

We’re all better off because of what women have done.

Small Havoc

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March 7, 2026- A heavy rain fell, and there was a fair amount of thunder and lightning, into the mid-morning hours. A branch of one of our trees is partially severed from the main trunk and is now partially covering our front sidewalk. That gives me something to work on tomorrow, when the weather is expected to be nicer. My goal is to at least clear the sidewalk. Working from the outermost edge towards the thick part of the branch, I should be able to get a fair amount of the debris cleared and hauled back to the alley. The larger part of the branch will take a bit longer to clear. Son won’t be back for another two weeks, so I will carefully get what I can done rather than leaving it all for him.

There was a warning of possible tornadoes last night, but none materialized this far south. Our safe zone is a windowless bathroom on the first floor. Strangely, there is no community shelter, but there are plenty of “tornado shelter companies” willing to sell shelters to individual families. I guess the idea that this is an individual endeavour strikes me as odd. The only times that I have been near a tornado, in Missouri and in Ohio, there was an active effort at getting people together in community shelters. Fortunately, we were spared, this time. My condolences to those people in eastern Oklahoma and southeast Michigan who were not so fortunate.

Every part of the world has its drawbacks, either in terms of natural phenomena or of being in the crosshairs of some conflict. There are always innocent victims, in any event. My job now is making sure that my granddaughter isn’t one of them. Not everyone thinks I have her best interests at heart. I guess they will just have to find out. Suffice it to say that no one will hurt her, as long as I am of sound mind and body.

First Laugh

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March 6, 2026- Hana laughed just before her mother and I had lunch, this noon. It marked the first time either of us had witnessed her chuckling. She is very happy, when we bring her to the bouncy chair at our mealtimes. The sense of being included has already been integrated in her 2 1/2 month old mind. It is a tradition of sorts- Penny and I always had Aram with us at breakfast and dinner. (I didn’t always get back for lunch, but when I did, he was with us then, also.) I initiated having her at table for dinner, and her parents were quick to affirm.

She chuckled periodically, throughout the day-and as I fed her a nightcap bottle, she was thinking about something funny and let the amusement process, laughing quietly before starting to take her nourishment. As the days roll by and she has more experiences in her memory, I fully expect she will find something to joyfully recall. When she develops language, I’m sure she will share them with us.

Dineh people have a tradition, where the first person to make a baby laugh gets to throw a laughing party for the family. I did so once, for a little boy who is now 39 years of age. In Korean tradition, a baby is honoured on the 100th day after birth. Aram, as we were living in Jeju, Korea in the days of his babyhood, was given a 100 Day Party and wore a hanbok, the garb of a baby on the hundredth day. He was also given a tiny ring, which we probably still have in the jewelry box.

Hana will have a hundredth day party. We will also honour her laughter, as well as any other milestones she passes before then. She is likely to have several things to “say” about this. Her cooing and babbling are quite frequent now. We engage her in conversation, to encourage these.

Fifteen Years

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March 5, 2026- It was a mild, crisp Saturday morning, when I got the call that I had been expecting, since having woken to a heavy presence in the bedroom that Penny and I had shared for nearly twenty-nine years. I was told that I didn’t have long to get to the Hospice, if I wanted to “exercise the option” of being with her when she passed. I had not taken the spare room that the Hospice provided to those who were expecting a loved one’s imminent passing. because we lived thirty minutes away and a gentleman from Nashville was present, waiting for his mother’s demise.-

This was a case of trusting the Universe to arrange everything nicely. As it happened, the entrance ramp that would have gotten Aram and me there on time, was blocked. The detour added an extra ten minutes to our drive and we arrived, on a still morning, to be greeted by a slow spiral of leaves and dust, swirling near the door. Three minutes had gone by since Penny’s departure, so quiet that the nurse, who had checked her ten minutes earlier, was taken aback. Still warm to the touch, eyes still open, I know that my beloved would have preferred to wait, but it was not to be.

My task, in the years that have gone by, has been to make a concerted effort to live a far better life. It took a few more years, after that day, to vanquish my demons and accomplish most of what we had planned to do together. Here I sit in a comfortable open office, in our family’s home, looking at our infant granddaughter, via a monitor. She is asleep in her crib, with plenty of room, on a soft but firm pad. Helping to raise her will be my lasting gift to the wife who sacrificed everything to help me turn my life around.

It’s been a long process, but I really think I’m there, at long last.