Category Archives: Assistance

Stability

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Posted by on in Assistance, Inner Struggles, Matters of Faith, Personal Values, Spiritual, Striving

May 29, 2021- There have been many times in my life, when I felt the ground was caving in beneath my feet. Somehow, I have always managed to recover. Sometimes, it has been because of help from family or friends. Other times, it has been because of my own stubbornness and refusal to accept the status quo, or settle for just any set of circumstances.

Now is a time when I have achieved stability, with no clouds on the horizon. The caveats are that I must be willing to share, to a reasonable and markedly-limited degree, and to do so in a way that will not make me a ward of someone else.

I credit both my upbringing and the Baha’i Faith for this basic sense of stability, having absorbed some lessons right away, and others over a period of time. My yardstick for the strength of stability is mainly the avoidance of capricious and ill-considered decisions. I am much better, in that regard, than even seven years ago. It took bouncing back from losing Penny and recognizing that I have far more worth than any naysayers have led me to believe, at certain periods of this life.

This same message is what I impart to anyone who approaches with a tale of woe. In the long run, stability only comes from doing what one’s inner essence advises- and never kowtowing to someone else’s dictates, no matter how loud and forceful their voice.

Living Dreams

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Posted by on in Assistance, collaborating, Community, distraction issues, impediments, Personal goals, Personal Values, Service Activities, Social, Striving, Travel

May 28, 2021- In the midst of settling back in, for four weeks or so, I took the time to work on resolving the one nagging issue that has pursued me, for three years and, most recently, across the country and back: Doing something about African poverty. To his credit, my constant correspondent has become much more forthcoming about how he specifically plans to use any funds that are raised in his name. That made it much easier for me to set up a secure transfer process, for the funds which others and I raise, from now until June 21. There are two things to consider, both matters of justice: 1. Neither I, nor anyone else, am/is obligated to send money, in perpetuity, to anyone who requests it (Calling me “Dad”, or “brother”, does not help matters any, either); 2. At the same time, neither I, nor anyone else, can simply ignore the less fortunate. I have mentioned before, that I give, locally and further afield, to a reasonable extent, so that others may realize their goals-or at least survive. This current, limited and task-specific effort is an example of that. Each person is free to pursue a dream. No one is free to bleed another person dry.

My own dreams are quite simple. Most involve building and maintaining friendships, and being there for people, emotionally and physically. So, I am present, when here at Home Base, and when on the road. This summer will be another one of “those”, which make more sedentary people roll their eyes. The fourth week of June, in Carson City/Reno and Pyramid Lake; July 5, onward, to the Dallas area, New England and several points in between, then across the northern tier to Oregon and Washington, before September beckons, and I take another Home Base respite. October, in western Poland and Germany(Mom’s ancestral region), and a zip down to Croatia to visit an online friend, is still possible. Yes, I get my fill of visiting historical and natural wonders, but I do that here, too.

Dreams are affected by the wider reality, and a relatively minor medical issue may alter my plans a bit, but in the end, the dream and the goal are the bases for what one achieves in life.

Home Base Bound: Day 3

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Posted by on in Assistance, collaborating, Community, Historical, impediments, Social, Striving, Travel

May 24, 2021, Wheatland, MO- It’s been a sweltering few days, in the east central region, and across the nub of west central Indiana, central Illinois and a north central to southwest diagonal in Missouri, I alternately used AC and outside air, to keep the good times rolling.

Today was a first for me: Salad for breakfast; being the remnants of last night’s chicken salad from Fricker’s. Of course, Niemerg’s was also on the itinerary, so brunch in Effingham, it was. After that, I chose a northward route around St. Louis, bypassing the worst of the construction snags. Just east of Columbia, the southward route to Jefferson City, Missouri’s capital, beckoned.

A few miles north of “Jeff” is Fulton, a mid-nineteenth century river port, with a red brick downtown. Naturally, I stopped for a quick look.

Downtown Fulton, MO
Downtown Fulton, MO

Arriving in Jefferson City, I headed directly over to the State Capitol, where two quarters gets one fifty minutes of parking. The capitol building is understated, in terms of etchings, inscriptions and statuary. It does please the eyes with its relative simplicity, though, and since Jefferson City is a modest regional commercial hub, the fit is snug.

Western view of the Missouri State Capitol, Jefferson City
Fountain on west side of Missouri State Capitol
Eastern view of Missouri State Capitol

l walked around the capitol grounds for several more minutes, stopping to say a silent prayer. This drew the curiosity of a plain clothed security guard, who watched me for about two minutes, then moved on.

Reflecting Pool, on east side of the State Capitol
Missouri River, at Jefferson City
Row of War Memorials, from the Mexican War to Persian Gulf War

Wanting to make further progress, I headed out of Jefferson City, past Lake of the Ozarks and on to a series of small towns, along the way to Kansas. I found a comfortable room at Wheatland Motel, albeit one that had no Internet or phone connection, owing to an earlier power outage. A local high school student helped me get a cell phone connection, but WiFi via laptop would have to wait. Still and all, Wheatland Motel and the nearby Hickamo Cafe offered a comforting, downhome welcome.

Around Hometown: Day 5

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Posted by on in Assistance, collaborating, Family, Inspiration, Personal goals, Personal Values, Social, Spiritual, Striving

May 21, 2021, Saugus- Mom gave me my marching orders. I am to do several sit-ups, every day, henceforth, eat smaller portions and get out on the trail more often. While she is still very concerned with COVID variants (she is fully vaccinated, but frets about the deniers causing havoc), she knows I am not at risk for the disease. Thus, taking care of the Septuagenarian Sag is to be one of my main focuses.

This comes with her own promise to me, to engage with her fellow residents and end her long self-imposed isolation, which came to an end with her move of last week. There are several activities she can join now, so I look forward to the resumption of her letters-which she stopped, out of annoyance at being stuck in the house, for so long.

Today is the twenty-first day of the fifth month, in the twenty-first week, of the twenty-first year, of the twenty-first century. Twenty-one is the Industrial Age’s hallmark of maturity. This, in and of itself, means little to actual maturity, which varies from person to person. When I was 21, I was in the throes of adjusting to a rapidly-changing set of circumstances, in my life, but using the methods of an adolescent. Maturity, for me, came around age 40. The century, though, has begun heading into its maturity, with the human race, likewise, being dragged kicking and screaming into its own maturity. Forces like nationalism, racism, misogyny, sectarianism, patriarchy and material jealousy are bound to fade-though not before each goes through its “wounded predator” stage.

My current visit to my hometown will come to an end, tomorrow morning, and the road southward, then westward, will occupy me-and this blog. I have my marching orders, though, and my filial sense has not faded, even as mother and son share the status of advanced age.

Farewell, childhood home, and may you become the place of memories for another family.

My childhood home
The old backyard
Our dogwood tree

Around Hometown: Day 4

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Posted by on in Assistance, collaborating, Family, impediments, Inner Struggles, Inspiration, Personal goals, Personal Values, Social, Spiritual, Striving

May 20, 2021, Saugus- In anyone’s life, priorities must be made, kept and never be fodder for apology. I took stock of my charitable efforts, this afternoon. They are, by any definition, responsibly generous. I will not apologize for not taking on additional causes, no matter how persistent and vocal the appellants are. There remains one appeal on Facebook, to GROUP contributions. If no one contributes, in three weeks’ time, that will end-and I will not apologize, no matter how harshly, or how widely, I am criticized. I have told those who might benefit, that there are no guarantees. Besides, I know, and people who know me best will concur, that I do not live for my own comfort, alone.

I felt better about myself today, observing the process of refuse collection and donation retrieval at the old family house. It is just about empty now, with a few boxes to be taken to Mom’s new residence. We had a vibrant and wonderful family dinner, this evening, at Teresa’s Italian Restaurant, in the town of MIddleton, about 10.5 miles north of here. Whatever tensions or differences of opinion might have arisen in the family, over the past several days, vanished, with the awareness that we were all here for Mom.

I will spend one more day here, visiting an old friend around Noon, and going back to Mom’s place in the early evening. Then, the road back to Arizona opens up, with the knowledge that I will be back here, in midsummer, to honour Mom’s progress in this new chapter of an incredible life.

Around Hometown, Day 3

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Posted by on in Assistance, collaborating, Community, Family, impediments, Personal goals, Personal Values, Service Activities, Social, Spiritual, Striving

May 19, 2021, Saugus- Today was a bit of a break from the house clearing. I focused more on getting the car’s regular service. No problems arose there. Otherwise, today was mostly spent resting.

I made the choice to spend the last two nights here at Chisholm’s, rather than sleeping on the carpet in the old house, “for old time’s sake.” There is only so much emotional value, in spending time where ghosts actually did call on me, in my childhood. There are also the ghosts of my own inferiority sense, which I realize now was just a reflection of the inferiority that some very vocal people, in my family and close by, seemed to feel in my presence. It would have been better, had they never felt that way. Putdowns flowed pretty freely, back and forth, in the days of my youth. Much of that has been overcome, but there is the residue that I sense, after being with certain people for more than a few hours.

I know this much, though. There is no length to which I would not go, to defend and protect any of my family and townspeople from attack. Every one of us has been wrestling with demons, and for far longer than we sometimes care to acknowledge. I have urged people who want my help, in other communities and countries, to learn to work together at a local level. That admonition has sometimes been put to the test, these past few days, in my own situation. I find that a good thing; self-purification makes giving advice to others a whole lot more trustworthy.

Hometown Bound: Day 5

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Posted by on in Assistance, collaborating, Family, impediments, Personal goals, Personal Values, Service Activities, Social, Spiritual, Striving, Travel

May 16, 2021, Saugus- The body takes the sleep it needs. So Penny used to say, and so I have been finding to be the case, this time around. After a very deep six hours of slumber, I got myself together, and with a breakfast sandwich from Dunkin’ Donuts, across the street from Travel Inn, I headed out for the final leg of a hometown journey.

There were a few disruptions: I had to walk back to the hotel room and retrieve a mask, in order to purchase my breakfast meal. Even with Federal and state governments lifting restrictions, the people on the street need to be convinced. That will be a lengthy process, and some business owners will require employees and patrons to “mask-up”, well into the summer.

There were a couple of traffic backlogs, but both were accident-related, and the Massachusetts State Police cleared matters rather quickly. I was here in the Home Base of my childhood, in time to visit an old friend for a while, then to check in to my abode for the next several days. Chisholm’s Motel has been in business here, since the 1950s. The bungalow format is something I find relaxing and quite secure.

I joined my mother, brother and sister-in-law, at Mom’s new residence, spending about 2 hours taking the measure of her feelings about the move. She is a consummate realist, and as it was her decision, I have no qualms about this being the right place to settle. I checked out our old house, which will be base of operations for the next few days, as large amounts of memorabilia get divided up, apparel gets donated and castoffs get bagged as refuse. Memories, though, will never be eradicated. Mom has read, and been heartened by, her advance copy of my life story. I will not return to the house, once it’s been sold, but I will always see it in my mind’s and heart’s eyes.

The Long and the Short of It: Part II

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Posted by on in Assistance, distraction issues, Family, impediments, Inspiration, Personal Values, Service Activities, Social, Striving

May 11, 2021- I was able to locate the Windows service for deleting temporary Internet files, so let’s see if that helps with the configuration issues that have been irksome, over the past few days.

The Elantra is ready for its first cross country jaunt, since 2019. It was found that the small brake light bulb, that kept burning out , is simply not well-made, with small filaments that don’t handle the bumps and lumps of our rougher roads-and those are the ones that are paved. It’s a nuisance, but also a First World problem.

The lack of regard for the safety of children is not just an American issue: Eleven people, many of them children, were shot to death yesterday, in Kazan, Russia. I can’t say it enough- It is not the God-given right of mentally ill people to bear arms. This does not mean those who have been successfully treated for mental illness can’t own firearms, but those still certifiably afflicted are a public safety menace, when given access to guns and ammunition.

It’s time to end the “audits” and voter restriction bills that seek to undo the results of LAST year’s election and/or prevent American citizens from voting, based on any number of anticipated, but unlikely, “potential frauds”. If anything, voter protection needs to be expanded. If that means there are laws passed that I may not like, then let the courts determine whether these are/are not constitutional. It is not up to state legislatures to circumvent the right of the people to vote as they please.

It’s starting to get warm here again, and I see that just as I am preparing to head out of town, the fires are kicking in. This time, I am taking care of family matters first, and pray for the safety of those in the back country, who might be affected by the present wildfire. My journey does not mean I don’t care about our County.

Onward and outward, it is.

Further Changes

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Posted by on in Assistance, children, collaborating, Community, Education, Family, impediments, Personal goals, Personal Values, Service Activities, Social, Spiritual, Striving

May 8, 2021- I received a supportive message from the principal of the school to which I referred yesterday. There will be some discomfort, for some people, but the children will be safe.
In a few short days, my mother’s life will become more secure. I will be on the road, towards my childhood home, and will help with whatever needs to be done, for at least a week. This was not expected-at least not this month, but life does not compromise with want-only with need.

I received word, this evening, that her next door neighbour of 66 years is dying. He is in hospice- a man’s man, reduced to lying in a single bed. I can only hope that his extended family, his cousins and closest friends, can be with him. If he is still with us, when I get to Massachusetts, I will pay a visit and thank him for being a faithful friend of our family, like his parents were.

The next few days will see preparatory activities- a Mother’s Day call, a dental check-up, a car servicing, laundry and packing. There will be time, tomorrow, for a visit to a magical place: Montezuma Well. My Home Base will be secure, while I’m gone, and there will much to be done, when I get back .

School, though, will wait until Fall, or maybe Winter, as I honour marching orders, sent from a place unseen.

Pasch

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Posted by on in Assistance, Matters of Faith, Social, Spiritual

May 2. 2021–

Freedom of worship makes for a magnificent tapestry of holy days and festivals. The past month has brought us Passover, the Eastertide, Ramadan, Beltane, Vesak and Ridvan. Soon, it will time for Eid-at Fitr, the end of Ramadan.

Today was Pasch, the Eastern Orthodox observance of Christ’s Resurrection. I have an eclectic group of friends, observing various ways of honouring the Creator of us all.

My Eastern Orthodox friends are every bit as dear to me as all who pass my way. This confirmation of Jesus’ promise thus augments, and never contradicts, the strengthening of His Teachings on how we may renew ourselves,

No matter how far back, in the mists of time , a Faith goes, the way in which it honours the Almighty is its proof.

As with all the holy days gone before it, a Most Joyous Pasch!