Category Archives: Assistance

It Does Not Belong

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Posted by on in Assistance, Community, impediments, Personal Values, Service Activities, Social, Spiritual, Striving

February 5,2024- The regular teacher, and several students, warned me about two of their classmates, among the after-lunch bunch. Classes that meet, right after lunch and recess, are often the most difficult of the day-mainly because there is still this energy that children and teens don’t know how to expend. It also happens that scheduling staffers pack larger numbers of people into the afternoon classes, either right after lunch or the very last hour of the day.

So, how did things go? The class worked as hard as the others. The two “terrors” did what they were expected, by me, to do-their assigned work. I did not see any difference between them and the best-behaved of their classmates, and told them so. It will, hopefully, give everyone pause, before-as I said yesterday- jumping to conclusions with scant parkour skills.

This evening, I read of seven migrants, whose legal presence in the U.S. is questionable, having been witnessed attacking New York Police officers, getting booked and then being released, forthwith. One of them was observed exercising his First Amendment right to free speech. I’m not sure that non-citizens can claim Constitutional rights. They have Human Rights, certainly, but U.S. Constitutional rights apply solely to U.S. citizens. 

 Assaulting a medical professional, in the performance of his/her duty, is a felony in at least 30 states. Assaulting a medical professional in a Federal hospital is a Federal felony. Assaulting a Federal law enforcement agent is a Federal felony. Assaulting a State or municipal Peace Officer is, as I understand it, a felony in every state in the Union. In New York State, these are the provisions: https://fastlawpc.com/assault-on-police-officer/

It is believed that four of the seven men accused, but released, have hopped a bus to California. Here’s a thought: These miscreants belong in prison. We don’t, in reality, live in a world where people can beat those who expect them to obey the law, and turn around and just be set free by other officials who think the system is unjust. It is unjust to let people act like wild animals and just pat them on the head. Truth be known, a wild animal will be more likely to go its own way than would a violent mobster. 

Further, anyone visiting a country, in which he or she is not a citizen, owes respect for the laws of that country. I would like to see an International Code, where a citizen of any given nation who assaults a police officer of a country he or she is visiting is subject to prosecution by an officer of the International Criminal Court. It means more bureaucracy, sure, but the days when one can just go across a border and wreak havoc belong in the dust bin of history. 

I have visited Canada, Mexico, Guyana, England, France, Belgium, Luxembourg, Israel, the West Bank, South Korea, Taiwan, the Philippines, Vietnam, and Australia. In each nation, the laws were clear and reasonable. Granted, I was legally admitted, on either a tourist or employment visa, and therefore not engaged in illegal activity-but I expected that the laws of the country would apply to me, as to anyone else-citizen or visitor, and conducted myself accordingly.

Excusing violent behaviour does not belong in this world. I would not have excused violence from the above-mentioned students, and they knew it. People coming into this country, or any country, need to be set straight. The ignoble seven need to be made examples, re-arrested, tried, and if found guilty, punished as befits their crimes. It’s just better for their souls.

Strat Fail

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Posted by on in Assistance, Community, distraction issues, impediments, Inspiration, Personal Values, Service Activities, Social, Spiritual, Striving

February 4,2024- One can never tell about other people, each and every time they are encountered. Growing up, and into adulthood, several of my male friends operated on the premise: “She’s above your level” or “She’s in a different league.” I often wondered about very attractive girls and women, especially as to “Do they really see themselves as above certain guys?” There were a couple of snooty women, when I was in Community College, but I left them to themselves and pursued other friendships. 

Stratification tends to fail, in the long run. Each of us should be okay with choosing who we date, court and marry. Settling for anyone who comes along is not fair, either to self or to the one with whom one is “making do”. Neither, though, is being so selective that virtually no one can meet one’s criteria. I was plenty happy with my wife of 29 years, though neither of us were close to perfection. I was not expecting to meet Penny, when I did. I was not expecting to lose her to disease, either. Fast forward, 12.5 years, and I wasn’t expecting to meet K, a few months ago, but I did. Attraction sure is a funny thing, and it can lead to some beautiful results, so long as both parties keep things in perspective. The way in which relationships develop depends entirely on how much respect and compassion each person has for the other’s life experience.

These thoughts came into my mind, when I spoke with a young friend, who is like a daughter to me. Uncertain about her social life, and drifting along, she has fallen into a pattern of over-reacting to other people. In the few minutes she had to speak with me, I conveyed the message that she has first to see herself as worthy of respect and love. Men will pick up on where a woman is, in terms of self-esteem-and the wrong ones will take full advantage. It works that way, conversely, as well. Wreck-it-Ralph and Ravaging Rita are two sides of the same coin. There is, finally, the caveat about not assuming things about people, based on random observations. Generally speaking, one who is given to jumping to conclusions had better make sure the parkour skills are up to speed.

Useful Metrics, from A Brief Job

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Posted by on in Assistance, collaborating, Community, distraction issues, Matters of Faith, Personal goals, Personal Values, Service Activities, Social, Spiritual, Striving

February 2,2024- Today was Imbolc, a day of spiritual renewal for Naturists and Wiccans, some of whom are my friends. While the origins of their Faiths are found in the mists of time, many of their guiding principles go along with those of more recently revealed Faiths, including Baha’i. Not the least of these shared principles is the Golden Rule, the real one, that states “Treat others as you wish to be treated.” It was also Groundhog Day, and there will, apparently, be six more weeks of winter, since Phil didn’t see his shadow.

I spent the morning with two groups of Freshman Success students, who were mainly occupied with things like Typing Tests, real world skills-like how to buy a car and, of course, teen life. One savvy teacher has a set of metrics posted on her wall. These include: ”Listening, Being respectful, Fairness,Nicety,Kindness, Appropriate conduct,No put-downs, Effort and Honesty.” I intend to keep a record of my own performance, in those areas.

There was another set of metrics, in poster form, on a closet door, adjacent to the teacher’s desk. Here they are: ”Be yourself; think young; laugh often; forgive quickly; be happy; love deeply; dream big; take chances; be grateful; have no regrets; play hard; be spontaneous; let go; never give up.” I have practiced most of these, at least as an adult-and gotten better at several. 

Having shared all this with my most treasured friend, I bring these into my wider circle. Anyone is welcome to point out when you see me lapsing-just remember to be constructive. It was a pleasant start to Hiking Buddy’s birthday weekend, this evening, with a dinner at a small fine dining establishment, called BigA (pronounced big-uh). The fresh ingredients were delectably put together, for both of our meals.

Weather, work and even a stuck red light were no impediments. Imbolc was a fine day.

Past the Clouds

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Posted by on in Assistance, collaborating, distraction issues, impediments, Inspiration, Personal Values, Service Activities, Social, Spiritual, Striving

February 1, 2024- Five people, clad in dark colours, were walking past my driveway, right as I was heading to work, this morning. I didn’t make a wide turn, thankfully, and kept on with the commute. There were a sizable number of people on the road, while it was still a bit early for rush hour. Being alert is never optional.

The clouds dissipated enough, as the sun rose, and the three classes I covered were pretty straightforward. In the third class, I had to rattle my brain a bit, to remember the right way of determining the area of a triangle, when given the lengths of two sides, and the top angle measure’s sine. That requires looking the sine up in a trigonometric table-which was fresh in the students’ minds, but had faded from my memory. Fortunately, they all just worked the assignment, while I quietly brushed up on it, in case I need to cover that class tomorrow.

Recalling that this year is one of not ducking challenges, I found self in a calm and happy mood, going back to Home Base. I later sat through a Red Cross meeting, at which I was not entirely welcome, and, with rain coming down in buckets, earlier this evening, sat out a potentially raucous community meeting. Being bold does not mean being intrusive, or reckless.

This brings me to the feelings that I have for someone who lives far away from here. The friendship is not something that will surge ahead, by leaps and bounds. It is something that will be built, carefully, with sensitivity and being supportive of the lady’s independence and personal sensibilities. 

Boldness and decisiveness do not dovetail with acting like the bull moose of the woods.

The Wider Net Cast

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Posted by on in Assistance, collaborating, Community, impediments, Inner Struggles, Inspiration, Personal goals, Personal Values, Service Activities, Social, Spiritual, Striving

January 29, 2024- There was nothing left behind, forgotten, when I finally got underway, taking a friend to Sky Harbor Airport, this morning. Much ground was covered, in terms of what is needed in order for humanity to understand self, for its members to understand themselves-and one another, for children to be truly honoured and understood and for the global plantation mentality to be overcome, transcended. I was set straight, that in this friend’s opinion, I had some serious work to do with regard to what I was willing to accept from children. In her view, everything that a child does needs to be accepted and understood. 

I will go with the understood part, but we can’t just accept destructive behaviour, no matter who is engaging in it. Children do appreciate guidance, having limits set and gentle models provided, by the adults in their lives.

As for the hierarchic mentality-whether we call it plantation, patriarchy or Fascist, the idea that some are inherently superior to others-the Hammond Doctrine, if you will, needs dismantling. There will always be some who have strengths in certain areas and less so in others. My dearest one is skilled in finances. I am fairly competent in that area, but I don’t hold a candle to her. My son is a whiz in technology and systems security. Again, I can maintain a modicum of computer safety, but that’s as far as that ship sails. Others are primo, athletically, artistically or scientifically. I am lucky if I hit a baseball or softball to the outfield, throw a football 30 yards or swim one lap, the length of an Olympic-sized pool-and then with my head underwater. I made a stone carving, a few weeks ago and fashioned it into a rough necklace-but it doesn’t look half bad. Just don’t ask me to draw a human or animal, freehand. At age 73, I can balance a chemical equation and probably figure out simple physics problems, but that’s the extent of it. As brother put it, my strength is in my heart. The point of all this is, each of us has strengths and flaws. So, none can inherently just assume the mantle of authority in all things. Hence, there ought be no hierarchy. It’s the collective, the sharing, that proffers strength.

I had the pleasure of seeing that my site has drawn a fair number of visitors from a nation, other than the United States, that is dear to my heart. A wider net was cast, and seems to be attracting those whose views I also value.

Flexible

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Posted by on in American Legion, Assistance, collaborating, Community, Entertainment, Inspiration, Personal goals, Personal Values, Service Activities, Social, Spiritual, Striving

January 28, 2024- The account that a fellow Legionnaire gave, of his ailing wife’s situation, was achingly familiar. He has arrived at the conclusion that he needs to cultivate a hobby. I heartily concurred with him on that. When one has lived and loved one person, for so many years, it is hard to prepare to change course. It took me three long years to get myself together. Even afterward, there were times when brief relapses happened-but when an ill-wisher challenged my judgement, I knew I was over the hump. Blocking and deleting people who attacked me, after 2014, came a lot easier, as did bringing myself to serious account. A far more peaceful environment has been the result.

I am on the cusp of a life change, still in the realm of possibility, that would rest on flexibility. That, in turn, depends upon inner tranquility. The centered soul can be flexible, prioritizing the needs of the one(s) that are loved the most. That’s all I will say, for the time being. Great changes, like Penny’s illness and death (2003-11), the sale of our house (2011), and the sale of a second home, due to the vagaries of double taxation (2014) have come and gone. I have survived, because there are other things that I have had to do, and have yet to accomplish.

One thing that I have re-started is to walk to places that are within two miles of Home Base, unless time is tight, or the weather is just plain awful. Today, I walked to a friend’s restaurant, connected with a neighbour the next street over from me and watched a bit of a football playoff game, and walked back to HB 1, about an hour later. Exercise at Planet Fitness followed. It’s time to continue my fitness pattern. I can’t be a support to another human being, if I slack off in my own space. So, onward and upward, it is.

Centenary, and Remembrance

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Posted by on in Assistance, collaborating, Community, Education, Family, Historical, Inspiration, Personal Values, Service Activities, Social, Spiritual, Striving

January 27,2024- The grief-stricken woman told me, and bar staff, what had happened to a beloved family member, and relayed the seemingly nonchalant reaction of someone who had once told her that he was dependable. I shared with her about my own experiences, and the current state of my life. She was heartened by both what I had experienced taking care of my late wife, Penny, and by the present state of a new love in my life. As she broke down, and needed reassurance, I hugged her, and she wished me well with the rest of my life. When she left, we briefly discussed our own reactions to her story; D’s daughter agreeing with me that an undependable friend is no friend at all. I paid for my meal, and coffee, then headed back to Home Base 1.

I thought of Penny, and how no matter the level of difficulty with her condition, I would never have left her alone, or dismissed her pain. I stayed with her, until the end of her life, and would do so again and again. I think of the new love that has appeared in my life, and know that if she needed me to be by her side, post haste, I would be there, across the ocean, as quickly as humanly possible-and stay with her, for the duration.

Today, one of the most influential men I’ve ever had the honour of knowing would have turned 100 years of age. That he was the father of my first true love as an adult, and the treasured grandfather of our son was a bonus. Norman David Fellman was, more than these, much more. He was the living symbol of the Holocaust survivors-a Jewish soldier in the U.S. Army, in the final year of World War II. He was captured by the German Army, in the southern flank of the Battle of the Bulge, kept prisoner in Berga, in a special POW unit of Jewish-, Mexican- and Romani-Americans. He survived, and when found by the U.S. Army, 97 pounds clung to his 6’1″ frame. He thrived, attended college, decided to open his own shoe business, married his life-long sweetheart, sired Penny and adopted twin girls-raising all three to be strong women. He and my mother-in-law, Ruth, were married for 65 years, until his death in 2014. (Ruth survived him by four years.) They owned and ran a farm, which tided them over, when he sold his shoe business. They raised and rode Arabian horses, teaching all three girls-and me, how to ride, and care for, those wondrous beasts. Norm was a fixture in Veterans organizations, and even made a video of his experiences, which at one point aired on national television. It must have come very hard, but he made it his mission, to ensure that the experiences of those who kept freedom alive were not forgotten.

Likewise, International Holocaust Remembrance Day was established, in 1996, on this, the day of Norm’s birth. It was a fact that gave him great satisfaction, though like the gentleman he was, IHRD became more important to the day, than his own birthday. That this remembrance has continued, despite the noise and hasty judgement heaped upon all Jews, for the actions of a relative few among them, would be a point of pride, for Norm, Ruth and Penny, were they here among us still. He would fulminate, as only he could, against all those he saw as perpetrators of injustice.

I was all too glad to have been able to help a stranger in distress, to help finish a good friend’s move, earlier in the day and to give due homage to a great man. Let us never forget the Shoah!

The Blind Dancer, and Other Marvels

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Posted by on in Assistance, children, collaborating, distraction issues, Entertainment, impediments, Inspiration, Matters of Faith, Personal goals, Personal Values, Service Activities, Social, Spiritual, Striving

January 26, 2024- He danced with his beloved woman, confidently in her arms and with a serene expression, as Galactogogues gave another rousing and stellar performance, this evening. Blind since birth, the gentleman is an accomplished musician in his own right, and a regular at Raven Cafe. He is one of many marvels of our town, in his instrumentality and in his dancing.

A couple who have had a hard life, and have stuck together for over forty years, are monitoring me, since we had a disagreement about something, two months ago. They seem almost saintly, in and of themselves, yet inquire of mutual friends about my well-being, or so I’m told. It is something of a marvel, that this is even important to them. My life is not all that prominent in Prescott.

My work day began with an expectation, on my part, that this would be a quiet day, working with Special Needs children. The school is understaffed, though, and it was no surprise when I was informed by the Office Manager that my day would be split: Morning, teaching Music and Afternoon with a First grade class. After a dicey start, I was able to get access to the computer and video, in time to teach three groups of children about rhythm and tempo, using rhythm sticks, whilst listening to varying speeds of a video-based tune. Of course, they liked the prestissimo the best.  The middle school choir was self-directed, which was fortunate, as the teacher had not left plans for their class period. 

After some sober assessment of the overall situation, the OM decided that I should have an hour break, at lunch, and had me teach one more music class, using the same plan. Then there was First Grade, reading the chapter of “Charlotte’s Web, in which Wilbur decides he wants to try to spin a web of his own. Wilbur, for the unitiated, is a pig. The old “when pigs can fly” quip pretty much gives an idea of what happened next. Charlotte rightly points out that, as a domesticated animal, he is fed by the farmer, and so, is not in need of a web. A spider, on the other hand, must fend for self. The children got the point, that they are cared for, but that many people have to fend for themselves. Charlotte also compares her web to a bridge that people build-and with that, we segued into the topic of bridges. The afternoon was delightful.

Just before attending the latter part of the Galactogues concert, I joined an hour-long devotional, discussing the topic of Resurrection. We Baha’is see it as spiritual rebirth, rather than full-on re-emergence of a physical body, from the dead. I have had several dreams , over the years since Penny died, in which she had come back alive and I felt the need to re-arrange my life to accommodate her renewed presence. Realizing, upon waking, that this was only a dream, and that she is in a good place, I came to understand that her spirit is in a constant state of renewal and advancement. Indeed, whilst sitting at her grave site, in early December, I got affirmation that her spirit is pleased with, and had involvement in, my new friendship with another woman. I think that, as one of my primary spirit guides, Penny has made sure that I have all manner of friends, of both genders. One’s spiritual progress, after death, is probably the greatest of marvels.

Taking Ownership

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Posted by on in Assistance, collaborating, Community, distraction issues, impediments, Inner Struggles, Personal Values, Service Activities, Social, Spiritual, Striving

January 25, 2024- Child # 1 kept denying having broken a health-related rule, even though ten of his classmates testified that he had done so, and the evidence was there, on his desk. He was held to account for the violation. Had he not been, who knows how many copy cats would have followed suit?

I have said it before: I was the world’s worst miscreant, when it came to covering up misdeeds, from childhood to the end of my erring days. I was actually relieved, in later years, when called to account for bad choices. It meant, usually, a chance to start afresh and act more in tune with Divine teachings.

We’ve discussed owning one’s bad choices before, on this site. Families, communities and countries have never been known to thrive, when a key member of the grouping goes from one denial to another. Yet, some believe the denier, largely because they see so many dodging responsibility for their actions. So, “why not give ________the benefit of the doubt?” Well, there is “Two wrongs don’t make a right.” There is also the fact that the individual’s spiritual state does not improve, over time, with the accumulation of “duck, dodge and hide”.

What I’ve found is that I have gotten umpteen chances to overcome a character defect-until the time comes that the baggage is actually cast overboard.

Other Places, Other Uses

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Posted by on in Assistance, collaborating, Community, impediments, Personal Values, Service Activities, Social, Spiritual, Striving

January 24, 2024- Two bags worth of bath towels, bed sheets and pillow slips went to the Thrift Store, this afternoon, along with a piece of art that I collected a while back, and my two boxed sets of the last two seasons of “Game of Thrones” . In each case, the materials were either far more than I need, or no longer reflect the person into whom I’ve evolved-especially in the past three months. Others who need or can use these items are more than welcome to them. There will be further downsizing, next week, when I have more free time to go through the closets and cabinets.

This year of action, as it has been described, finds me getting up with new energy-and I attribute that, partially, to the fact that I feel the supportive energy of someone whose days and nights are opposite ours here in Prescott. I send loving energy back to her, as well. On top of an already strong network of support, here at Home Base, and across the continent, this energy is a much-treasured bonus. The other element is that I sense increased support from those who have gone on before me-from Penny and from my ancestors who, as I saw yesterday, are making themselves known to my extended family, in ways we have not seen in a while. In any case, I feel so much calmer, more self-assured, and more automatically directed to simplifying my life, since my visit to the Philippines.

Much of what happens this year, especially in the wider world, will seem, at first blush, as having no rhyme or reason. A calm and confident approach to our surroundings, and to things outside our comfort zone, will be necessary to survival-and to the thriving that will follow. There will be a fair amount of yelling-always happens in Election Season, or whenever people feel threatened by even the most innocuous of remarks. There will be weather-related challenges and disasters. We will each lose people we love dearly-some very unexpectedly. In the end, around Christmas and New Year’s, it’ll be obvious to those who have kept a clear head that all of this is part of a larger evolution-and that the skies will clear, the ground settle and the guns will, in fair order, fall silent.

These thoughts are with me, settling in for the night, before two days of work bring a brisk week to its end.