Category Archives: Assistance

Least Light

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Posted by on in Assistance, collaborating, Community, impediments, Inspiration, Personal Values, Social, Spiritual, Striving

December 21, 2023- Least light, across the northern hemisphere, is not a nadir.       It is an anchor, along with its mirror counterpart, most light,across the southern realm.    It offers us the hope of resilience, in the minute-by-minute lengthening of daylight.     It brings us the sights, sounds and feels of nature taking a rest, before it burst forth anew.    It offers us the vision of Mother Earth in a balancing dance with our nurturing Sun and her sister planets, with their own moons, even as the Sun prepares to rage for another eighteen months.                                       I had the pleasure of ringing in the solstice, this evening, as Galactogogues, a Prescott band, launched their first album, at our venerable Elks Theater. The family group-mother Meg Boehrman and her three adult children, along with their extended family, drummer and violinist, have kept local fans on our feet, during many performances at the Raven Cafe and some of Whiskey Row’s more genteel bands. It took me a bit of time to feel enough a part of things to get up and dance, but it happened. A friend, Ken, was inspired by my efforts and danced a bit, in his own space, for a few minutes. Someone else, with whom I recently had a dispute, was also there, but I am done with letting anyone’s presence deter me from following my heart. Meg, in the midst of being greeted by the social elite, told me she was glad for my presence. That was inspiration enough to get up and be a part of things.

Now, getting ready for a night’s rest, before the last day of school for 2023, I am listening to the inspiring, and formidable, Buffy Ste. Marie, offering her vision for the future, through songs that propel a 24-Hour Online Dance. I will not be dancing, but will sleep well, knowing that people like Buffy are charging forth, for the betterment of humanity.

https://www.google.com/search?channel=frsc&client=firefox-b-1-d&q=Mister%2C+Can%27t+You+See#fpstate=ive&vld=cid:f5ce7752,vid:E7f_Tk5bD40,st:0
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E7f_Tk5bD40

On Boundaries

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Posted by on in Assistance, collaborating, Community, distraction issues, impediments, Inner Struggles, Inspiration, Personal goals, Personal Values, Service Activities, Social, Spiritual, Striving

December 20, 2023- One of my online writer friends posted, this morning, on the subject of boundaries. Going over both the setting of one’s own boundaries, respecting the boundaries of others and handling those who invade one’s safe spaces, she sparked my own review of past and present behaviours in this area.

When rebounding from Penny’s passing, I gave vent to delusions of having feelings for a couple of women. The first, gently and firmly set me straight on the matter, we parted on civil terms. She is still a friend- and thankfully, is happily married to a fine man. The second is also still one of my best friends, here in Prescott, having set her boundaries early on.

Then, there were those who invaded my space: A homeless man, who did not ask for much more than rides here and there, and assistance with getting established in another town. I was able to help him, and after a year or so, he dropped off the radar screen. A few years later, a well-meaning friend tried to “fix me up” with a woman, who had serious emotional issues and who quickly turned out menacing, even using her thoughts to try and wreck my life-health-wise and in terms of employment. I lost my job, while she had parked her RV in a public area, a block from my apartment. Curiously, on the day that I was fired, she got in the rig and drove away. I cut off all contact with her, have recovered and am living nicely. There was a disturbed young man, who messaged me, continuously, for six months, often sending up to 50 voice messages a day, most of which I deleted, though I listened and tried to understand his issues. I cut off contact with him, after he sent a message attacking the memory of my late wife. Finally, there was the African entrepreneur, who initially appeared to be making a good faith effort to build a life for himself and his family. I connected him with agencies and organizations that could offer real, constant assistance-but he became attached to asking for more money from me-for matters that were not directly connected to the initial investment. I cut him off completely, after about four months of begging on his part.

Now, I have strong, enduring friendships, in a good many states and Canadian provinces, and in three other countries. There will be, I’m sure, more to follow. I have strong feelings for a good woman, who I met two months ago, and am taking care to honour her boundaries and not coming across like a bull in a china shop. The fact that we are an ocean apart makes this a bit easier, but when I see her again, the same respect will continue.

Boundaries, like other aspects of a disciplined, organized and centered life, ensure that one may live in happiness and success.

Inside Out

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Posted by on in Assistance, collaborating, Community, impediments, Inner Struggles, Matters of Faith, Personal goals, Personal Values, Service Activities, Social, Spiritual, Striving

December 18, 2023- A spiritual leader among First Nations peoples referred, at a meeting this evening, to the difference between religion and spirituality. He noted that spirituality comes from within a soul. Religion, as it is often practiced, is an external force that is either voluntarily adopted by the soul or is imposed on it, by prevailing social forces. He further noted that it does not have to be this way, pointing to those religious teachers who stress leaving the adoption of their Founder’s teachings up to the individual, through an emphasis on individual investigation of truth. This places the responsibility, in my view, where it belongs. Force only works as long as it is applied. When it is removed, those who have lived under a yoke, so to speak, will go off on all manner of tangents-including campaigns of force all their own.

It took me nine years of investigation and internal wrangling, before I recognized the Baha’i Teachings as the Divine Message for this Day. Others are free to follow their own path, and I count, as dear friends, men and women of all faiths-from Fundamentalist Christianity to Wiccan, and in-between. Baha’is tend to know my heart better than most, my Christian siblings being an exception. My point here is that, like a house that is built by its owner, the spiritual fortress of a soul is best which fits the soul’s true needs-and only that soul can really know what those needs are. 

As we move forward, through a time that is fraught with challenges, and filled with opportunities, both scheduled and serendipitous, let’s remember to show reverence for one another’s dignity and worth. Let us be open to knowing another’s true heart-inside and out.

Burdens

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Posted by on in Assistance, collaborating, Community, impediments, Inner Struggles, Matters of Faith, Personal Values, Poetry, Social, Spiritual, Striving

December 14, 2023-

A beloved soul recognized,             

that I recognized

the pressure under which she lives.

Another dear soul revealed that he has a challenge

to face,

and will need to make considerable changes

in his life.

Some youth are looking at themselves

and trying to find their paths,

as all youths must,

until their dying days.

The choices we make,

the burdens we cast,

or to which we cling,

determine the arc

of our lives,

and the lives of those we love.

We also choose,

whether they are burdens

in the first place,

and if we are burdens

to ourselves, or

to one another.

Fast Re-fashion

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Posted by on in Assistance, collaborating, Community, impediments, Inspiration, Personal Values, Service Activities, Social, Striving

December 13, 2023- ‘Fast Fashion, churning out large volumes of low-cost, low-quality garments, loaded with toxic synthetic dyes, is polluting the Earth’s water more than any other industry, save pesticide-heavy agribusiness’. -The Good Trade: https://www.thegoodtrade.com/features/what-is-fast-fashion/

The presenter at the school where I am working, today and tomorrow, represented the College of Agriculture, Life & Environmental Sciences, at the University of Arizona, Tucson. The college has a department of Fashion Science & Technology, and has devised a way to re-fashion used athletic team jerseys. The U of A football team gave their used jerseys to the DFST, whose students, treating the jerseys as fabric, reworked them into purses, fanny packs, shawls and even caps.

Here is a site that provides tips on how this may be done in a DIY manner: https://www.sewhistorically.com/how-to-refashion-clothes-beginners-guide/. My thoughts go to not only the landfills of this country, but also all the trash piles in emerging economies. I hope some of my Filipino friends read this, as well as friends in African countries, Brazil, India-and any other nation, each of which deserves the same quality of life as those who are clad in the products of Fast Fashion. 

Re-fashioning is not a panacea, but it will go a long way towards cutting down the abysmal waste that derives from mindless discarding of fabric-right up there with plastic, as a scourge.

The Blue-Leafed Vase

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Posted by on in Assistance, collaborating, Community, Entertainment, Family, impediments, Inspiration, Personal goals, Personal Values, Social, Spiritual, Striving

December 9, 2023- “Now, it seems to me some fine things have been laid upon your table, but you only want the things you can’t get.”-Don Henley and Glenn Frey, “Desperado“.

Two ladies, looking like twins, focused their attention on the titular vessel, and the fresh-cut flowers within. The crystalline surface, and the shimmering blue leaves, take up a small space on the bar at Rafter 11, yet for those ten minutes, the vase dominated the room. A fine singer, named Duane, was belting out covers of songs from the ’50s (Fly Me to The Moon) to the 2000s (Nothing Compares 2 U), yet for that brief time, his efforts were background noise.

The ladies, who were sitting at the bar with my friend, Harry, said they had adopted the older gentleman-a fine thing, as he thrives on the friendships the rest of us regulars offer him at Rafter. Turns out, they themselves have been best friends for 35 years, which they said in response to my observing that they looked like twins. Proximity can rub similarity off on people- something Penny noted, years ago, when we started to ape one another’s habits and proclivities. These ladies were both bleach blondes and about the same height. They dressed just differently enough from one another to be distinctive, and there was enough difference in their facial features to hint at fraternal, rather than identical, twinship. As it happened, though, they were each from a different coast.

When they left, my attention went back to Duane’s music, especially as his vocals pretty much drowned out anything Harry was trying to convey. My older friend left, as he was feeling the day was spent. Duane sang several songs that brought thoughts of my new friend, far away, but ever in my heart and mind. Desperado was among them.

That raised the thoughts of gratitude-or its opposite. I am very much immersed in the former: I have been blessed, a thousand times or more, by all the friends who have come into my life, especially since 2011, and before that, by the woman who gave the best years of her life to me, and whose spirit still spurs me on. There are women and men fifty and older, who are like siblings. There are younger adults, from older teens to forty-somethings, who are like my beloved children. One and all, no one is going to hurt or impugn any of them, in my presence, without a swift rejoinder. A few women from the first group have expressed romantic love for me, and while I haven’t felt the same towards them, their well-being is of high importance.

I am grateful for all the fine things that have been laid upon my table-daily experiences, far and wide as well as local; vivid and exciting, as well as quiet and mundane. I am grateful for the challenges, which have led to refinement of some rough edges. I am grateful for the first that was laid upon my table-the deep love of supremely committed parents and the sibling love that has branched from that. I am grateful that the child we raised is a full-grown, clear-headed man, and happily-married. Now, I am grateful for the friendship of a lady far away, and all the encouragement I feel from the small coterie to which she belongs.

We’ll see where it leads.

Suspicion

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Posted by on in Assistance, children, collaborating, Community, impediments, Inner Struggles, Inspiration, Personal Values, Service Activities, Social, Spiritual, Striving

December 7, 2023- The gentleman regarded me warily, and had several questions, as to my reason for being at a gathering of social justice activists, this evening. I later saw him talking with one of my friends, and pointing in my direction. This friend no doubt vouched for my sincerity and involvement in those organizations that seek to bring about harmony. I later came across a bumper sticker, that said “Love your enemies and you won’t have any.” It seems to me that those who claim to represent social justice ought to work at ridding themselves of judgementality. It helps to have an open heart.

Earlier today, I was with a group of students, who were grateful for my presence, and help in getting calmed down. The lead teacher, not all that welcoming, was at least tolerant of any assistance I could offer. There were few incidents of misbehaviour, and those that did occur were quickly resolved, and in a peaceful manner. The suspicious lead was at least thankful, at the end of the day.

It was mentioned a few times, this evening, that 2023 has been a stressful year. I can sense that, in any number of people, but I have to say that life, in general, can be stressful-in any given year. For social justice workers, this coming year will no doubt be full of stressful moments. The key to not walking about, looking over one’s shoulder, and seeing a bogey man in every closet, is self-confidence. I have had to work on that, mightily, in years past.

It helped, certainly, that I found a message from a dear friend on my laptop, this morning, but even on days when that doesn’t happen, I know to go forward and trust that the right thing is going to be, at least by day’s end.

Messages at Graveside

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Posted by on in Assistance, collaborating, Community, distraction issues, Family, Inspiration, Matters of Faith, Personal goals, Personal Values, Social, Spiritual, Striving

December 6, 2023- I sat by her grave, on this forty-third anniversary of our meeting for the first time, and asked Penny what she thought of my recent trip to the Philippines, and of friends I made there, one in particular. The messages that came back to me were a surprise, of sorts, and a comfort.

After getting a clean bill of dental health, I made my way to the cemetery, and having taken along the chair I am sitting in now, I sat and said a few prayers, then began my silent conversation.

“We sent you there and brought her to you;”, the message came, “there is no reason for your aloneness to go on and on.” I asked about my friends here and elsewhere. “Each of you have a role to play in one another’s lives, but you are not responsible for everyone’s happiness. If they are upset with you for growing your friendship with someone else, that’s on them. Just treat them with grace and patience, as you always did me.”

The spirit encouraged me to keep on with the path that she and others have helped me set for myself, since 2011. Indeed, she has said, more than once, that our life together on this physical plane was not meant to continue any longer than it did. I had growth to do, which required my being alone for a while. That growth, through the love of friends and family, and through the pain of physical and emotional attacks of others, has largely been achieved.

So on I go, and take each day as a blessing, just as I ever have.

Artistry

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Posted by on in Assistance, collaborating, Community, Education, Entertainment, Inspiration, Matters of Faith, Personal Values, Social, Spiritual, Striving, Travel

December 5, 2023- A good friend inquired about a course, offered by Wilmette Institute, a Baha’i online academy that focuses on a number of aspects of our Faith. Her interest is in the interplay between the arts and Baha’i, which is actually quite deep. The course, simply titled “The Baha’i Faith and the Arts”, is indeed being offered for six weeks, this coming April-May.

This spurred my own thinking about artistry. I never really advanced much beyond stick figures and potato people, though I can now at least draw reasonable facsimiles thereof, when it comes to people, cats and dogs. I made a bird house, once, in eighth grade. The instructor said “Thank God it’s made of wood. You and metal? Oil and water. ” Craftsmanship has come easier, with maturity, focus and practice. I might even try my hand at ceramics, one of these days.

Art, though, is mainly an expression of the spirit-as humanity has found, over the course of many centuries. The best of artistic expression celebrates the higher levels of human functioning, or calls our attention to suffering, that we might rise to those higher levels. Some, like Michelangelo’s Creation of Adam, is mythological in tone, but no less celebratory of the rising of the human spirit. Other art, like Picasso’s Guernica, is intended to provoke reflection on the worst that our species can do to its members. Paintings, frescos, sculpture and pottery can present anything from solid utility, to historical record, to sheer serenity.

My aforementioned friend and I were part of a group who visited Ayala Museum, Greenbelt Mall, in Makati, during my recent Philippines trip. There, we encountered the thought-provoking:

the disturbing:

and the soothing.

Artistry is, to both of us, and to millions of people, a regenerative outlet, one that will sustain humanity through the worst of times and aid in celebration of the best.

GPS Goobers

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Posted by on in Assistance, collaborating, Community, impediments, Inspiration, Personal Values, Service Activities, Social, Spiritual, Striving

December 4, 2023- Dutifully programming my Google Maps, for a friend’s medical appointment, I picked up friend and headed towards the designated locale. When we got to the spot, we found…….a gated community, a cul-de-sac and an overpass above a desert wash. A call to the provider earned us grace-and the names of cross streets,- 20 miles away, on the other side of the city. The algorithm interpreted the directional point in the street address, literally. It just got the wrong city. I double-checked my entry, to see if I had given the wrong information. No, the goober was AI.

We got to the proper location, after 30 minutes, and friend was seen by the gracious provider. All worked out well, and I got us back to Prescott, in time for me to help out at the soup kitchen. That was fortuitous, as they were short-staffed. It wasn’t that hard, though. I was the white rice guy and there was no need to wipe the tables afterward.

Goobers are a nuisance, though, and it would be a good idea if there were a feedback mechanism for Google Maps. This is not the first time that I’ve been steered wrong-and I know that others have gone through the same rigmarole. Of course, another option is to research the location from home. I did this before going to the Philippines, Newfoundland, Vancouver Island and Florida-after finding that I should have done so, before going to Paris and Brussels, nearly ten years ago. I will definitely do my homework, before next Fall’s international journey.

Crossed signals are not just limited to GPS and maps. Sometimes, in the past, I have gotten ahead of myself and not even been grounded in my feelings, before opening my mouth-or writing a message. Nowadays, checking my facts and emotional intelligence before speaking or writing, has generally made life a lot easier. In a few situations, this is tricky, but if I have to muddle through, that’s just how it has to be. I have a few friends who want to be given space, and they get it. When they are ready, I know they will reach out. Others are always happy to connect, and they bring me joy.

Gooberism can be avoided, with healthy self-checks, first thing in the morning, and periodically throughout the day.