Category Archives: children

Fortnight of Transition, Day 5: Whose Children Matter?

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Posted by on in children, collaborating, Community, Education, Family, impediments, Personal goals, Personal Values, Social, Striving, Uncategorized

September 13, 2020-

In some of my response to reports of abused and neglected children, it has come back at me that these particular campaigns are cherry-picked, Right-Wing trope activities. Maybe so, but I personally don’t cherry-pick, as to which children get attention and which go without.

Early in my counseling career, a severe sexual assault case was brought to me and the Response Team was in the midst of getting the victim to safety, when a call came about another child threatening suicide. I asked my senior partner to take that case and get back to me, once the child had been evaluated. This was unusual, for the particular community to have two victims at the same time, but there was no daylight, no distinction, between one child and the other.

One red flag, which discomfits many, is a child who gets too close, who hugs too tightly or even wants to sit on a non-related adult’s lap. I’ve dealt, gently, but firmly, with several such children, almost always girls-and who were either being totally ignored, shunned by their father or were being grommed by an adult either in, or known to, their immediate family. Getting the father to acknowledge, and spend quality time with, his daughter was relatively easy. The girls being taught sexual behaviours had, however, to be removed from the home and placed in group homes, where experienced professionals were able to give them the advanced therapy they needed.

I think of these children, a few of whom have kept in touch, as adults and are doing quite well, considering the ordeals that came their way. I think of them all the more, in light of the current Netflix film, “Cuties”, which uses exhibitionism as a vehicle to “combat sexual exploitation of children”. Counterintuitive, at best, and exploitative in itself, at worst, I see the showing of the film as a serious error in judgement. There was a period, from the mid-1990s to the late 2000s, when young European and South American girls were featured in some rather lurid websites-with the sites’ owners and photographers claiming their work was “art”. Fortunately, Interpol, the FBI, the government of Chancellor Angela Merkel, of Germany, and, wondrously, the Russian FSB, at the direction of Vladimir Putin, took these sites down and the long process of finding and rehabilitating the child victims was initiated. I would not want to see anything close to that horrific state of affairs be repeated.

That said, the vast majority of sexual and physical abuse of children takes place in situations familiar to them, at the hands of people whom they ought to be able to trust. This makes it both simple and complex, for the helping professional- Simple, in that the child is easy to locate and remove from the home; complex, in that there is often a culture of denial in place, largely based on fear of disruption and dislocation of the family unit.

Getting co-operation from the other family members is completely dependent on their degree of self-assurance and cohesiveness, independent of the perpetrator(s). In a close-knit community, even law enforcement officers. medical staff and social services workers, if they are related to the perpetrator, can be a hindrance to justice for the victim.

All these factors come into play with regard to obtaining justice, and if the matter involves a child, or multiple children, being groomed in sexual behaviour, there needs to be both a swift separation of perpetrator(s) and victim(s) and active therapeutic measures initiated as quickly as possible.

No child, anywhere, is less important than any other.

The Summer of the Rising Tides, Day 81: No Dichotomy

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Posted by on in Assistance, children, collaborating, Community, distraction issues, Family, impediments, Inner Struggles, Inspiration, Personal Values, Social, Spiritual, Striving

August 20, 2020-

I have written, on another medium, about both regarding the right of a human being to care for own body to be sacred and the right of a child to life as also being sacred. I see no contradiction between the two, but our society has allowed itself to view the two as somehow at variance, in certain cases.

I see this as one result of our movement away from the concept of the sacred. This does not specifically have to do with “unchurching” or movement away from long-established organized religions. It has more to do with the rising of uncertainty, of insecurity in people’s lives, in this time of massive, and sometimes instantaneous, transition. It opens the door for a relatively small number of people, with untoward views of how to attain population control, to seize control of a debate which did not even need to happen.

There will always be adults who are uncomfortable, even hostile, in the company of children. There will always be those who don’t understand the nurturance of infants and toddlers. They were either mistreated, or not treated at all, in their own infancy and childhood, or are of a temperament that doesn’t mesh well with the organic nature of child behaviour. They prize strict order and predictability in their world. These are the vanguard of the Abortion Lobby, and of the nascent Neo-Eugenics movement, which seeks to bring about social acceptance for the killing of newborns with certain disabilities.

That this segment of society should link arms with the political Left, that element who have, for so long been associated with inclusion, and who have been in the vanguard of genuine progress in the advancement of women, people of colour, sexual minorities and immigrants, is both cognitively dissonant and profoundly concerning. The linchpin here seems to be the right of a woman to decide what happens to her own body, a right that has always existed in the sight of God, but has, for so long a time, been slighted by patriarchal thinking.

A person who has been relegated to the back of the line, in self-determination, who has not been loved and nurtured by those around her, who feels totally alone and friendless, is easy prey for those who hold a skewed understanding of population control. Abortion of a pregnancy, which in cases of an unviable fetus may well be medically necessary, is now being promoted as a mere option, an elective procedure, one of many ways by which a person may exercise birth control. A subgroup of the Abortion Lobby has even hit upon the aborted fetus as a resource- a source of organs to be harvested, a source of Deoxyribonucleic Acid, a source of stem cells for research and for vaccines.

Women who are pregnant, regardless of circumstances, need and deserve to be completely enveloped in a culture of love. They neither need nor deserve judgement, from a standpoint of shallow morality, nor do they need or deserve to be the foils of those who, either consciously or unconsciously, detest infants and children, seeing the innocent and vulnerable as simply a means to an end. A loving culture feels the pain, sorrow and confusion of a woman or girl who is at wit’s end. A loving culture presents, and discusses with her, all the options available in this most personal and delicate of circumstances. It honours her informed and well-considered decision. It helps her heal.

Indeed, it is a shorter step than many in the Abortion Lobby realize, from the practice of their craft to the organized trafficking of children, a phenomenon from which the majority of abortionists would, no doubt, recoil in horror, but which nonetheless is a clear and present danger.

We, as a society, have one long-term choice-to return to a place in our hearts where all life is sacred.

The Summer of the Rising Tides, Day 80: As Decades Have Passed

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Posted by on in children, collaborating, Community, Education, impediments, Inner Struggles, Matters of Faith, Personal goals, Personal Values, Service Activities, Social, Spiritual, Striving, Travel

August 19, 2020-

I have been pondering, since early this morning, as to the nature of my decades, lived thus far.

Young mother, anticipation, rough birth.

World still aflame, born under the element of Fire

Walking alone at age of three; hairbrush to the backside

Loved pictures and songs; pile of 45s in a memorized order

Family in a ramshackle house, which soon became a decent home

Three became four, then five.

First grade, morning bell rung by teacher

Second grade, more families in the neighbourhood

Third grade, began reading like a pro; teacher was like an angel

Fourth grade- Sometime tyranny, worn-out, angry Reading Instructor, Long Division

1950-59 was the decade of inception.

Fifth grade- Hypersensitive, wary of the Principal, death of Grandma

Sixth grade-Attention Deficit Disorder, hospitalized for colon issues

Junior High School- Mischief, girls mattered, one fire followed another,

High School- Best years ever, I-the Individual, clueless about attire, scattered work habits

Post-Graduate- Flubbed first semester, Demon Alcohol, lack of coordination, Army Basic Training, Postal Clerk at Fort Myer, Saw Moon Landing, Missed Woodstock

1960-1969 was the decade of formation.

Army Years- Lost buddies in VietNam, protest marches and intel duty, personal investigation of combat theater, clueless in Sydney

Community College- Series of dates, series of flubs, community involvement, living away from home, living back at home, Quebec-Ville and Montreal, hitchhiking across the continent

University- Dorm year, rooming house, apartment life, incompetent as editor, successful as student, so/so as teaching intern, summer hotel work, Bachelor of Arts in Psychology

Maine years- Staying distant when asked, substitute teaching, tutoring, Teacher Aide, more Demon Alcohol, visits with extended family, two siblings married, all over the state and the Maritimes

Villa School- Saved by the West, attempted Math instruction, dormitory watch, all over the West and the country, San Diego and Disneyland

1970-1979 was the decade of instruction.

Graduate School years- Town House in a quiet neighbourhood, Zuni, Baha’i Faith, first real adult love, Master of Arts in Education (Counseling)

Tuba City Years- School Counselor, Newlywed, Pilgrimage to the Holy Land, London and Canterbury, death of Nana, death of a dentist friend, deaths of children, Guyana, wedding of Glenn & Barbie, Pine Ridge, Omaha Nation, Columbus Youth Conference, death of my father

Jeju Island- House husband for a semester, Work Visa wait time, grappling with cultural baggage, Baha’is of Korea, troubled expatriates, Visiting Professor of English, training teachers, birth of a son, back and forth across the Pacific, Baha’i International Pioneer

1980-89 was the decade of maturation.

Jeju 2.0- Facing the culture of sexual harassment, empowering women students, enjoying life with a toddler, standing at the Demarcation Line, honouring our elders

Navajo-Hopi 2.0- More School Counseling, active child protection, rescuing two girls, saving our son, losing youngest brother, addressing ambition, Lady the Dachshund, Baha’i homefront pioneer, Principal in two schools, Keams Canyon, Jeddito, Chilchinbeto, Salome

1990-99 was the decade of professional success.

The Active Urban years- Y2K, Mingus Mountain Academy, Kingswood Estates, Mesa Community College, substitute teaching, El Mirage Elementary, Fuhr chiropractic, Phoenix Baha’i newsletter, Sierra Pines Apartments, the house on Solar Drive

The Caretaker Years- Penny’s two falls, my fall into despair, more substitute teaching, WIS International, Southwest Network, Ironwood Elementary, Palo Verde Middle School, poor career choices, ASU West, President Obama at Penny’s graduation, two wrecked cars, Dr. Yau, hyperbaric oxygen, Stem Cell Therapy, six family weddings, Aram graduates High School

2000-09 was the decade of reckoning

Caretaking and Losing- Trillium Specialty Hospital, renovating and painting the house, MRSA, Dr. Desvignes, Chapter 7, John C. Lincoln Hospital, facing my demons, Odyssey Hospice, turning sixty, Durant’s Steak House, Penny’s transition

Feeling My Way- Aram in the Navy, Kim & Stu, short-selling house, Louhelen Baha’i School, meandering across the country, helping in-laws, moving to Prescott, Willow Creek Gardens, Pacific Coast and interior Northwest, Texas Circle, wayward Vision Quest, emotional overkill, death of father-in-law, D-Day Anniversary, Berga, World Cup celebrations, Rouen landmarks, Paris by day and night, Luxembourg National Day, Iolani Palace, Waikiki, Tiger Cruise

Settling in My Space- Arizona Avenue, Prescott Circle Trail, Black Canyon National Recreation Trail, southeast Alaska, BRIDGES Program, RISE Program, Prescott High School, southern California beach towns, Aram to Korea, Carson City-Reno family, Gulf Coast journey, cross-continental journeys, loss of two cars, break-in to a third, Red Cross, death of mother-in-law, semi-retirement, Do Terra Essential Oils, Aram & Yunhee, return to Korea

2010-19 was the decade of resilience

2020- 29 is the decade of endurance

The Summer of the Rising Tides, Day 79: That Which Hangs Heavy

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Posted by on in children, collaborating, Community, distraction issues, impediments, Inspiration, Matters of Faith, Personal Values, Social, Spiritual, Striving

August 18, 2020-

The air before a thunderstorm tends to sit, held in place by an almost perverse high pressure system, of anti-gravity. Eventually, as the sun’s influence wanes and evening draws near, the barometric pressure often falls, and the moisture being artificially held in abeyance will be released.

The same is true in human affairs. Those who thrive on artifice, and control of the masses, have gone to great lengths to devise systems by which this control may be monitored, adjusted and synthesized, so as to fit the ever-changing state of affairs, which seems to elude their initial grasp.

There is an old joke about the Brass Ring, that it is thinly coated with brass and is in fact largely iron. It comes with a magnet, carefully placed above it, which unseen manipulators swiftly lower, grabbing the ring and raising it up, away from the longing hands of the underdog. It’s a variation of “You can’t beat the system”, “Murphy’s Law”, “Business as usual is the only business that counts”, “Corporations are people, too”, “You can’t always get what you want”-and so on.

There are a couple of other truisms at play here: First, patience is a virtue. The young, and those who have waited forever for their just desserts, are understandably short on patience. We see this in the outbursts that initially came after the deaths of George Floyd and Brianna Taylor. We see it in the outbursts that continue, seemingly without purpose or direction, in cities like Portland and Seattle. We see it in the outbursts that DO have purpose, in Beirut and Belarus. Patience is a virtue, but so is purposeful, constructive action. The trick is in knowing when to turn off the patience and turn up the heat-without unintentionally scalding or singeing innocent bystanders.

Secondly, those whose purpose lies in control of others are not going to lie down and play dead-ever. The Far Right has been masterful at playing Donald Trump’s ego, and his insecurity, like a fiddle. It has been ingenious at drawing in the fanciful minds of the New Age community, the orderly, obedient and heartfelt members of the Fundamentalist Christian and Orthodox (as well as Conservative) Jewish communities and the business-minded, obedience-oriented legal immigrants from Asia and Latin America. It has an End Game, summed up by “He who has the gold, makes the rules”. It foresees an America divided into palaces and favelas. It envisions a gradual elimination of those who deviate from what it defines as the norm. It will play the Master Race card.

The Far Left, no less authoritarian than its identified opposite number, has mastered the Game of Shrillness: It has capitalized on the lingering fears of Nazism and Fascism, which are ever-present among both those whose lives are well-ahead of them and those whose best years are behind them. It has owned the Megaphone, snatching that device away from White Supremacy, while being careful not to give it up, too much, to Black Lives Matter. It has dangled the nebulous term “Antifa”, in front of people whose own mantra is “Just let me go to work, come home and enjoy my family.” The idea is to cow people into submission, by shouting: “What are you, a bunch of Neanderthals?”, to anyone not toeing the line of its agenda. Its End Game is that-It has no End Game, except perhaps that same, pesky, Master Race card, which will be face up-should more people buy into the false dichotomy between the lives of children and the rights of women, the concept that ridding mankind of the congenitally-disabled is a key to a healthy community, or the equally false notion that religion cannot co-exist with free will.

Time hangs heavy-just like precipitation that is stuck inside a cloud.

The Summer of the Rising Tides, Day 67: Leave of Senses

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Posted by on in children, collaborating, Community, Inspiration, Personal Values, Social, Spiritual, Striving

August 6, 2020-

I saw a blurb, this morning, for a TED talk, of indeterminate date, in which the speaker purports to tell us all that we should get a grip, with regard to society’s ban on pedophilia.

There is a disturbing amount of that sort of insanity going around, right now, so I doubt it was satire-and NPR isn’t exactly world famous for such folderol, anyway.

This evening, someone posted about their experience with their two-year-old being given an innocent-looking Troll Doll. When the parents looked the doll over, as responsible parents tend to do, they found a button between the doll’s legs. Yes, it made disturbing, adult-type noises, when pushed. The toymaker has recalled the device.

I’ve been called paranoid and puritanical, for making a big deal about the alleged sex trafficking of children. So be it. As much as I believe in adults making their own choices, behind closed doors (and getting flack for that, as well), children CANNOT tolerate, physically or emotionally, serving as playthings for adults-or for pubescent teens, for that matter. Children (and teens) should not be part of such activities.

We have reached the point in our society’s decline, when this sort of decadence is again considered chic, as it was among certain elements of society, in Victorian times. It is anything but, and I look forward to those participating in, or fostering, child sex trafficking to be brought to swift justice. It won’t matter to me how prominent, or well-regarded, the person is: Wrong is wrong.

The Summer of the Rising Tides, Day 66: Inclusive or Exclusive

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Posted by on in children, collaborating, Community, impediments, Inner Struggles, Inspiration, Matters of Faith, Personal Values, Social, Spiritual, Striving

August 5, 2020-

I have recently had to address the issue of whether I am taking firm stances on matters, or am just flip-flopping, in order to keep disparate groups of friends happy. The truth of the matter is this: I can extract grains of truth in the statements and positions held by friends and family who may not agree with me, and who definitely do not agree with one another.

I look at it this way. We all came from the same Heavenly, Universal Source. Whether people’s ideologies or theologies allow for it, there is only one Creator, one Energy that has brought all life into the Universe, the Milky Way Galaxy, the Solar System and the Planet. Some get hung up on names, on fear of demons, on duality. These last two concerns are certainly prudent, in my book. God does not want us to be consumed by Dark Energy.

We are meant to be beings of Light. We are meant to be reverent, just, loving to one another, regardless of which God-oriented or Light-directed creed to which we adhere. Again, I can tell the difference between Light and Dark. Even in the case of Dark masquerading as Light-the hate reveals itself in short order-as I learned nearly two years ago.

So, I tell myself-and those I love, to “Live Your Truth”. By doing so, mistakes will be revealed and we may then choose to correct- or to persist in error. God knows, I have had to make several corrections, over the years.

There are, though, things about which I will never cave:

  1. Every conceived life is sacred, and worthy of the effort at saving and fostering.
  2. Every born child is sacred, and worthy of nurturing and protection. Despite the position of Word Press, that children’s rights is not an acceptable term for use as a tag, I will continue to hold it in my heart as a talisman. SHAME on the administrators of this platform, for taking such an oppostional stance on this issue.
  3. Every case of suspected abuse or neglect of a child or teenager merits full investigation and the pursuit of justice-no matter HOW HIGH UP in status the suspected abuser sits.
  4. Every sentient being is worthy of respect and dignity.
  5. God never leaves Mankind alone, to our own devices. We have free will, and we are given parameters within which that free will may be used for the full development of our virtues.
  6. When among all Light-oriented beings, I choose to be inclusive. When confronted by Dark forces, my barrier will go up. I am grateful that this last has only had to happen three times, in my entire life.

The Summer of the Rising Tides, Day 65: Hot Pavement Holds, Beirut Explosions and Neo-Nazi Arsonist

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Posted by on in children, Community, distraction issues, impediments, Personal Values, Social, Striving

August 4, 2020-

The weather here is the same, day in and day out. There is NO rain forecast for the entirety of Arizona until after Labor Day. So, we go on with our lives, ration water (individually, not by statute) and thank God for the breezes that bring some relief. The smoke from the fire in southern California is also blotting out the sun, just a bit-but we could do without that sort of overcast.

I opened my screen today, to three things-all disconcerting. First, a Black family was detained, because a dispatcher in Aurora, CO told the police that the license plate on their vehicle matched a stolen plate. Left out of that call were: The plate was from another state and that the stolen vehicle was a motorcycle. The family was in an SUV and were sitting in a shopping center parking lot, minding their own business. They had stolen nothing. Within minutes, though, two children, a teenager and an adult were on the ground-or rather, on the hot pavement. There were four officers, at least in the photo. This was yesterday; so far, the accountability is forthcoming.

It was another hot day in the Middle East-and with the added horror of an explosion, in Beirut’s Port District, that looked, for all the world, like a cross between Hiroshima and the second World Trade Center attacks. Fifty people are known dead and over 3,000 injured. Initial reports say the first detonated building had been used to store explosives. I have prayed for the dead and wounded, and am staying tuned.

Lastly, a suspect in the torching of the Minneapolis Police Department’s Third Precinct has been arrested. He is from St. Paul, and is-are you ready- a neo-Nazi. While no one is saying ALL the protestors are angels, they are apparently not arsonists, either. There is a football field-sized space for miscreants from all points on the political spectrum to make hay while the sun shines, and are they ever taking full advantage!

August is shaping up to be another year, masquerading as a month.

The Summer of the Rising Tides, Day 62: What I Want in August, Part II

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Posted by on in Assistance, children, collaborating, Community, Education, Inspiration, Personal Values, Service Activities, Social, Spiritual, Striving, Uncategorized

August 1, 2020-

Half of any soulful person’s wish list, at any given time, is what is wanted for the community. My list, in this regard, is both simple and complex.

The simple things: Our neighbourhood children may continue to come and go as they please, safely, through the alleys, yards and creekbeds that outline their world. Instruction, whether online or in-person, starts soon and engages minds. People gather downtown, or in public parks, and enjoy their time, without having to justify their beliefs. Nursing homes are able to permit visitors, even with screening for temperatures, before too many more weeks have passed.

The complex things: Our election goes off, without a hitch, on the day scheduled. Those erstwhile friends of mine, now acting more like acquaintances, come to see past their sectarian and political blinders and look at the hearts of those, including me, who hold no ill will towards them or anyone else. Freedom of travel returns, and is not made subject to the partisan views or “one-size-fits-all” health prescriptions of either government officials or private citizens of means. Recognition that the lives of preborn children, infants, toddlers, school-age children and adolescents are universally sacred.

August is said to be a month of masculine energy. I know I will be plenty busy.

The Summer of the Rising Tides, Day 48: From Revolution to WeVolition

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Posted by on in children, collaborating, Community, impediments, Inspiration, Personal Values, Service Activities, Social, Spiritual, Striving

July 18, 2020-

It was another interesting day. There was little on my agenda, until the Harmonic Convergence update session, entitled “Saturday Night Alive”. I made a visit to Farmers’ Market, seeing a few friends I hadn’t encountered in a while and shortening visits with others, who seemed more annoyed at my conversing a bit longer than they wanted. It’s still a good place to pick up fresh vegetables, healthful concoctions and dairy products. (Yes, I am one of those who enjoys a cold glass of milk, on a hot day. It’s not harming me.)

A lunch stop at our neighbourhood family restaurant was pleasant enough, until someone called the police on a couple who had left their dog in a car that had all four windows rolled halfway down. It could have been handled differently- I might have gone in and told the hostess about the make and model of the car, and the dog’s situation-as this is a small place and it wouldn’t have been hard to find the people. Long story short, the couple’s meal was covered by someone else.

There has yet to be a successful political revolution, if one is talking about a result which includes ALL people living in the country affected. There have been few that even serve the interests of a dominant culture-at least at first.

Politics can’t be divorced from spirituality, or morality. We can separate the state from specific religion, and oftentimes, that’s a good thing. Humans, though, are spiritual, and/or moral, and/or ethical beings. We can see down the road, if we care to look.

Where we are now, though, is a rather foggy place. I have long-standing friends who have cut me off, because I dare to say that adoption is preferable to abortion, while still maintaining that the mother should have the final say over her own body. or because I have posted the first person account of a young woman who escaped from sex traffickers. I have others who keep me at a distance, because I don’t support a whole lot of what the current president is saying and doing. Nor do I support the most prominent alternative.

I don’t have to speak to any of these people, ever again, though I still have love in my heart for who they are, essentially. My bottom line is human beings should not be subjected to what is in vogue, what is “chic”. Sexualizing children is NEVER “cool”, no matter WHO is on TV or on social media, defending it. Coercing people to adhere to outmoded practices and promulgating false versions of history-because “that’s patriotic”, is likewise, not kind or just. Calling for people to be killed, because YOU don’t like their view on life, is just plain sick.

Revolution is passe. I propose WeVolition: From the grassroots up, we the people can show the top-down crowd and the naysayers, on both sides, that we can build a genuinely decent society. We can handle safeguarding children, teenagers and young adults from human traffickers. We can, at the same time, learn to deal with the residual effects and continued practices of racism and sexism-despite the loud voices telling us that prejudice is not eradicable. We can curb appetites for addictive drugs that sap a person’s strength-whether they are obtained by prescription or from illicit dealers. We can devise a system for keeping babies alive, through birth, and finding loving homes for them, even if those homes are not those of the birth parents. We can find resources to provide running water and electricity for our friends and neighbours on rural First Nations reservations and back country Appalachia, Ozarks and the Mississippi Delta. We can find both natural and allopathic remdies for the viruses and bacteria that seem to have everyone running into their caves.

It will take knowledge. It will take volition (will power). It will take action.

WeVolition.

The Summer of the Rising Tides, Day 40: Discretion

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Posted by on in Assistance, children, collaborating, Family, Inspiration, Personal goals, Personal Values, Social, Spiritual, Striving

July 10, 2020-

For these sixty-nine years and change, I have felt two, perhaps semmingly contradictory things: Unconditional love and discernment, with regard to how I spend my time and money. The contradiction clears up, once I remember that unconditional love includes how one is towards self.

So, when someone decides, on my behalf, that THIS is what I should do, for the greater good, THIS is how I will spend my time and THIS is what deserves my financial investment, the door tends to shut-at least until such time as I see the value in being involved. Part of this is my autism, and part of it is that I have received clear guidance from my ancestors and spirit guides.

I appreciate that some in the world feel drawn to me, calling me their brother or father, even though we’ve never met. A few of them have my support, to a certain extent. I will fulfill those commitments I’ve made, but this will NOT open the door to unending work on more projects. I have my path set, for the times when we are dealing better with COVID19 and for when there are other events going on, for which I will need to be elsewhere. During such times, I will not be at the random beck and call of individuals. I will have my family and selected other people as my first priorities.

Yes, this is a statement of discretion, which hopefully will be understood in the spirit of love with which it is offered.