Then and Now-The May Version

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May 19, 2020-

Change is a constant, even if some hectoring voice uses that bromide as his mantra.  It occurs to me that there was a different me, sometime ago, which is either fading or has disappeared.

Time was, when I was concerned with how people thought of me, how they looked at me, whether I’d be accepted.  Now, I see others as fellow travelers, even if they go on a path that’s different from mine.  We will all end up at the same place; we’ll just be asked different questions, by the Gatekeeper.  I accept myself, and how I look, so it doesn’t matter how others find my appearance. Besides, more and more people are far younger than I am, so they will most likely just see an old man.  As for acceptance-that starts with self-and that horse came back into the barn, a long time ago.

Then, I tended to patronize people-kids, women, old folks.  I thought it the best road to being regarded as “just folks”.  A rough old soldier called me out on the matter, and I began the long road to seeing humans as eyeball-to-eyeball.  I had made a lot of progress, in terms of being genuine, by 2005. Then, my beloved began to really go into decline and I put my self-care, and development, on hold.  After she left, it took three solid years of struggle, some travel and a fair number of mistakes, whilst on the road, to reach my equilibrium again.

Now, it’s 2020-and getting closer to mid-year.  How am I doing?  I’m good, in place, and once the curtain gets lifted, and I am cleared to be on the road again, I probably will hang on around here- to see how the school situation is shaking out, and if I am needed there.  I will also be even more focused, whether at home or on the road, than I was even last year.  There is a five-dimension sense that has taken over my consciousness.  It’ll be a most astonishing seven months ahead, and even more astonishing afterward.

When “Clean” Becomes Filthy

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May 17, 2020-

I used to live in central Maine.  On weekends, I would go either north or east, as a rule, exploring the further segments of New England’s largest state.  One area that always impressed me was the North Woods- one of the largest stretches of unbroken forest, east of the Mississippi River.  Even when I lived there, a small group of people, mainly Europeans, who didn’t understand why we “needed” so many trees, were agitating to cut down many of the trees and build something “useful” in the region-like second homes for people from more congested areas.  We would hear how, in Europe, there was not this obsession with keeping the land “empty”. and people were just happy with less wilderness. (I did not get this feeling, when I visited some western European countries , in 2014, but there we are.)

So, it doesn’t surpise me to learn that a Spanish-owned company, Central Maine Power, is going to court, to force a clear-cut of a 53-mile swath, through the North Woods, for the purpose of building a “Clean Energy” transmission line, from the St. Lawrence River, in Quebec, to Massachusetts. The total line would run 145 miles, so a third of it would go through the North Woods.  The width of the cleared path would be 300 feet across.

The Woods are owned by a timber company, which permits a wide variety of recreational uses throughout its property.  The forest products industry stands to lose a fair amount of resource material, through the clear cut-even if CMP’s Spanish parent company pays a decent sum for its trouble.  The loss to the environment would be even greater, with unknown damage to the lakes and rivers of the area.

Thus does another “New Age” company find itself in the position of being inimical to the very environment it purports to protect.  Rather than bull their way through North America’s largest remaining temperate forest, the Spaniards may find it better to explore some truly clean means of providing power to southern New England.

https://environmentmaine.org/feature/mee/protect-north-woods-stop-transmission-line

Little Stuff

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May 16, 2020-

As I have thrown some very lengthy “shares” on my other social medium, I will keep this brief and just mention a few things that come to mind, as the night progresses.

I haven’t seen the Moon, in its waning phase, this month.  Turns out, it rises at 2 a.m. and sets when it’s mid-afternoon.  I do, however, go outside and meditate under the stars, before calling it a night.

My computer desk is something of an altar.  Penny appears in three photos. My singing bowl is right in front of me.  A family heirloom Buddha, which my father-in-law brought back from Paris, in 1945, sits atop the mantle, next to a hand-carved wooden soldier, modeled after the ones in Nutcracker Suite.   A photo of ‘Abdu’l-Baha and one of our son bookend the mantle.

I planted my four vegetables, this afternoon, adding  granulated organic food scraps to the soil and spraying animal repellent around the area.  Javelina tend to come in the yard, during the night, so I want to get them accustomed to not liking the scent of the yard.

Now, it’s time to change course and say goodnight to the laptop.  Books have their turn, in my wind-down.

 

Hint of A New Normal

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May 15, 2020-

I went over to a far neighbourhood restaurant, this evening. The clientele tends to be folks in my age group or older, so we were seated with physical distancing.  The buffet was, of course, empty-though the owner says it’ll be back and full, next week.  I will watch that one closely-as I am personally rather finicky, when it comes ot buffets, anyway.

The crab cakes were back, and just the right size for my palate.  Opting for a baked potato, I likewise was pleased that it wasn’t half the size of Idaho.  There was a nice portion of steamed, mixed vegetables- and two pieces of garlic toast.

Enough of the meal; the important thing is that about twenty-seven people were there to dine in, and not all were seniors-a gentleman brought his daughter and two granddaughters along.  The owner made the rounds and caught up on some old times, as well as praising the Lord for not letting him, and his family, go under.

I do a fair amount of fixing my own meals, yet part of community life is supporting one’s neighbours.  There is a balance, and as the proprietor of this eatery says:  “It’s all a very fine line.”

Unsticking from the Hustle

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May 14, 2020-

One of the issues that some who are not seeing their business at death’s door, during the current pandemic, is that they miss their prior routine, so much.  They are going stir crazy, from being “stuck in the hustle”, working ten-twelve hours, daily, even from home.  The presence of their children, pets, even of their spouse, does not deter them.

Long ago, I was there, to the point that I would come back from my office, a forty-five minute drive from our house, spend five minutes getting a recap of my wife’s and son’s days, and get ready for bed.  The zombie act did not faze either of them- and to their credit, they spoke up.  Son was in seventh grade at the time and wasn’t buying the fatigue excuse-being quite outspoken, about being entitled to some of my time.  He was right, and my long-suffering wife, knowing just how hard it was to do a good job, by a less-than-appreciative boss, would have been within her rights to insist on much the same.

In the end, the fatigue induced by an impossible set of expectations, from a man who lived ten minutes away from the worksite, led to my resignation, in md-year.  That I was also framed by an underling, mattered little.  It was my choice to opt for leaving the cauldron and going into a less-stressful line of work, thus saving my place in the hearts of those who mattered most.

We are all left with the fact that, no matter how complex a situation is, the choice as to the direction of one’s life, belongs to that individual.  It may take longer for a person, whose presence is more crucial than mine was, to process the  pros and cons of one action, over another, but we are each given a Rubicon, or two, to cross in our lives.

Wednesday, the Thirteenth

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May 13, 2020-

The day began with rough energy.  I reflected that negativity is often associated with Friday the 13th.  I have been, and remain, determined to not let negativity dominate my day-even on days when I have been dismissed from a position or facing the loss of a loved one.

I read the obituary of a childhood friend- the closest personal connection I have, thus far, to Coronavirusdisease2019.  A short time later, when I was preparing to do a routine task, the most basic step momentarily escaped me. I felt my friend’s energy and the step came to my consciousness.

By mid-morning, the negativity had passed.  I went to visit some friends who have a restaurant, in a small shopping center, on the edge of town.  They were on their third day back, after staying closed for sixty days.  They are very much people of the soil, of the ranch.  Thus, what you see is what you get-and no apologies.  I’ve always had an open heart for those who speak their own truth-not aimed AT others, in an ad hominem manner, but in an inclusive, welcoming fashion.  I always have a seat at their counter.

This evening, the draw has been to a Baha’i-oriented spiritual discussion, on Baha’u’llah’s meditiative work, The Seven Valleys and The Four Valleys.  I write this, whilst listening to a recording of a Zoom call that I missed early this afternoon.  It is from a gatheriong called Gaia Calling.  The meditation and the insights gained here are reinforcing various other spiritual sites, to which I’ve been drawn, especially during this time of widespread turmoil.

The moderator spoke of a “dance” between linear time (the Earth time, in which we operate) and organic time (the spiritual movement that has always been in play).  I feel this happening more now, than I ever have.  On “good” days and on “bad”, my feeling these days is far closer to natural rhythms, to Earth, to the Universe, to the Divine.

Setting the Bar

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May 12, 2020-

My conversations with various people, last night and throughout today, have invariably featured goals they want to achieve, over the next several weeks and months.  One of my best friends here has set the goal of building a raised planter bed and showed me the frame she has made by herself- a very sturdy oblong planter, which should hold two or three crops, once filled.

This morning, around 11, I visited a small barbecue restaurant, on the second day of the re-opening of food establishments.  Tables are set six feet, or more, apart, with the goal being to not have to close up again, anytime soon.  Those who came in, while I was having lunch, were very respectful of the few requests the owners made.

My next order of business was to deliver a bottle of essential oil capsules to someone who is suffering a debilitating disease.  While at his wife’s establishment, she and a relative were discussing a goal relative to their own overall health- and devising a team plan to meet this objective.

I met my own goal of getting my hair cut, this afternoon.  The conversation, with the woman who was cutting my hair, centered on keeping children happy during the ongoing shutdown, which of course will continue into summer-a time that children normally are off, anyway.  In some circumstances, no one course of action can resolve an issue.  There will be some boredom and some grousing-but I have learned that, when I’ve been bored or listless, things come to me, as to what I might do and inventiveness is always a good skill to hone, in any mind.

I continue to set the bar high for myself, at least, and feel confident that this entire exercise in patience and perseverance will not be as wasteful as one individual, with whom I spoke early this morning , seems to believe.

Moving Right Along

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May 11, 2020-  

I have observed, as life progresses, some things re-open and others maintain their COVID19 restrictions, that there is some fraying taking place.  Yesterday, on a Mother’s Day visit downtown, I stopped at a frozen yogurt establishment.  I took my place in line, behind a gentleman who was wearing a mask.  A mother with two boys in tow ignored the line and went to the ordering table.  There, she was immediately served, by the teenaged clerk. The mother looked up at the man glaring at her, from the head of the line, and offered a lame excuse  for having jumped ahead-something about being pre-occupied with the menu.  This further incensed the man, who asked to speak to the manager/owner. After registering his complaint, he called to the women who were with him and they left, sans treats.  I got my order in, and was actually served before the mother and sons.

Things are happening, as businesses re-open, in random order.  I went to my haircutting place, which re-opened today, and made an appointment for tomorrow afternoon.  I got my car washed, this afternoon, and was surprised to see that the lady who used to work at the dry cleaners, where I had been taking my winter coats, was now the attendant at the car wash.  Turns out, the dry cleaning shop had closed, due to a rent increase. So, my cleaning goes to another shop, on the north side of town.

Traffic has picked up, and with it, the presence of those who are not comfortable in traffic, and have to pass as many people as they can, as quickly as possible.  This will, of course, continue for quite a while.  Line jumping may happen, though here in Prescott, it is the exception, rather than the rule. There were 20 of us in line last night, for picking up take out orders.  A man who had a little boy in tow was allowed ahead of us, to use the establishment’s restroom, but all others took their places, without any fuss.  Then, there are those, at pick-up stations like the Farmers’ Market, last Saturday. who scoured the line of cars and served their friends first, leaving the rest of us to appeal to the market director.  There will be several such anomalies, as we move forward.  I pray that patience wins out.

Two Candles

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May 8, 2020-

On a Zoom call, this evening, the moderator put forth a telling message:  “It is not necessary for me to put out your candle, so that mine may burn brighter.”

Cynics may counter-“Too many lights put each other out.”

I beg to differ.  Life is not a zero sum game.  Some conservatives want a world without progressives.  Some progressives can’t wait to rid our planet of conservatives.  I find either prospect an empty one.  There are features, of extremists on both sides, that I find reprehensible-  From the alt-right:  The murder of an African-American jogger, on February 23, by two white men; the drawings of swastikas and nooses; “Rassus” jokes, told by both whites and Native Americans; ANY hint that one race is superior to another. From the extreme left:  The caricatures of conservatives as knuckle-dragging hominids; ANY defense of pedophilia (which occurs among both liberals and conservatives, by the way); advocacy of wholesale slaughter of those in power.

I’ve covered the need for an array of responsible viewpoints, in an earlier post.  So, I will end with this:  I know plenty of respectable, responsible and loving people, on both sides of the chasm.  I know plenty of decent, morally sound people, among all ethnicities, economic levels, creeds and ways of life.  My candle doesn’t need yours to be snuffed out, in order for it to shine brightly.  Come on home.

Credibility

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May 5, 2020-

Fifty years ago, yesterday, four students were slain, at Kent State University, Ohio,  in the midst of a “tough” government reaction to protests against the VietNam War.  At that time, as now, there was a stark division between those who wanted peace and those who favoured a hard response to an identified enemy.  I was little more than a child, then, and even though I was on active duty with the United States Army, I felt strongly that there had been an overreaction.

Coming from this incident, there was a very intense backlash among people of my generation-especially among those in college.  Hippiedom was still much in vogue, as less than a year had passed, since the Woodstock Festival.  A cliche arose, as well:  “Just because you’re paranoid, doesn’t mean that we’re not out to get you.”   There were also working class youth, like me, who were not exactly over the top for the Hippie culture, but still had our reservations about the Military-Industrial Complex.

Fast forward to the current crisis.  Many of the same people who had doubts about our government then, have the same reservations now.  The difference is in the target of those qualms.  Now, it’s the Scientific-Medical Complex, from Monsanto to “Big Pharma”, and anyone who stands to make a bundle off disease cure and prevention.

I will say this, having posted arguments from both sides on another social media platform:  At least half of the predicament in which large companies find themselves is a hoist of their own petard.  Lack of transparency always sticks in the craw of an educated populace.  Numbers have been fudged, quite frequently- and by those on both sides of an issue.  There has been fakery, to the point that one must even scrutinize the claims of fact checkers.

It all can be avoided by just telling the truth-but that may cost people money.  There is a hard choice to be made by many.