Category Archives: distraction issues

The Road to Diamond, Day 269: Nomenclature

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Posted by on in Assistance, collaborating, distraction issues, Inspiration, Personal Values, Social, Spiritual, Striving

August 24, 2025- Someone has alternately pronounced me “mentor” and a short time later, announced that they were MY “mentor’. The situation is that we have bounced ideas back and forth, period. I do not consider anyone currently alive as a mentor. My father, father-in-law and a long ago athletic coach filled that role for me, in earlier times. My mother taught me a lot, also. I still hold all the lessons those fine people sometimes pulled their hair out, trying to impart to me. The rest of us just support one another the best we can, back and forth.

Other words tend to get overgeneralized, and over used. “Vacation” is one such. There are people here in Home Base I, who insist that any time spent not working and/or away from Prescott is vacation. They want to know why I am going to be out of the country, for an extended period of time, when I could be working here. I can say this: There will not be a whole lot of resting, relaxing and idling. I can do all those things right here. The tasks ahead of me are labours of love, in which I also engage here-but there are friends in the countries to which I will be heading. I have the opportunities to connect with them in real time.

“Girlfriend” (and its male counterpart) is tossed around well beyond adolescence. The woman I care for deeply is my dearest friend, and that is where it stands. She stopped being a girl, many years ago-probably maturing well before I did, though she is a decade younger than I. Maybe the oblique reference to childhood is a wish by those who use such terms, for their own continuous adolescence. As for me, I rather like being an older adult, albeit one who is in good health.

Finally, “omnipotent” is being tossed around these days, by those on various ends of the spectrum who see their personal heroes emerging and gathering power. Be careful: “Pride goes before destruction and a haughty spirit before a fall.”-Proverbs 16:18 I am willing to bet that each of the adulated ones is well aware of the above verse, and has many moments when wishing that admirers would calm down.

The Road to Diamond, Day 268: Empathy

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Posted by on in Assistance, collaborating, Community, distraction issues, Family, impediments, Inspiration, Personal Values, Social, Spiritual, Striving

August 23, 2025- I spent several minutes today, reading messages from someone who has an alternate view of the world. There are some points that were made with which I can agree, but the conclusions offered are rather far from what I have drawn. I will defend the right to come to those conclusions, but I also reserve my right to see the world through my own lens.
Some conservatives have recently called for a review of how empathy is processed. They say, correctly in my view, that empathy should not be a blanket endorsement of wrongful or injurious behaviour. I see this caveat as necessary, if our mission in the world is to elevate human behaviour and the level of choices made by those around us. Indeed, ‘Abdu’l-Baha cautions to “not show kindness to a liar, a thief or a selfish person”, lest those ill qualities be encouraged and strengthened. I have had to cut off contact with three people as well as advising a friend to do the same, for that reason.

There are plenty of opportunities to show empathy to those who are truly victimized, or are vulnerable and in need of support. I have been, and will continue to be, engaged in the betterment of life for all around me. Like our nation’s Vice President, I see my empathy as going first to my family (who are not, at present, in high need, but will be at the end of this year and into next), then to my community, and to the wider world. My sense of that progression is not, though, compartmentalized, as the needs of Home Base I right now are not so high as to take my attention away from, say, Dineh people who need help transporting water, or a friend in another state who is facing a serious medical procedure-or the World Central Kitchen’s efforts to feed people in traumatized regions across the globe-including right here in the United States.

There is room enough, in our consciousness and in our time frames, to care for both those closest to us and those a world away.

The Road to Diamond, Day 261: Affirmed

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Posted by on in Assistance, children, collaborating, distraction issues, impediments, Personal Values, Service Activities, Social, Spiritual, Striving, Travel

August 16, 2025- The energy of the day showed its hand early. Sportage’s battery gave out, after four years of service. I had a new one purchased and installed, well in time to go to Farmers’ Market and assist in the breakdown. My co-worker also observed that the energy was a bit on the thick side and she wasn’t getting as much done, to her chagrin. I recalled that Penny was a lot about stopping and smelling the roses, where I had long been Mr. Full Speed Ahead. There is more of a mix between the two, these days, and I have my beloved departed wife to thank for that.

An old friend interrupted her braiding of her second daughter’s hair, and gave me a bear hug, letting me know that various acts of kindness over the years have been fully appreciated. I am constantly, she said, on her and her children’s minds. That the kids are furtive and shy does not mean they are any less appreciative. I will be sure to visit them over Labor Day weekend, a week before wheels up to Iceland, Sweden and other points on the European continent.

Another old friend needed my affirmation of her worth. She is a person who has suffered much and yet gets a good measure of happiness out of hard work. Facing the sometime harsh realities of capitalism has also not been very easy on her. She is facing an aggressive and not altogether ethical competitor, who seems to have the blessing of their collective landlord. I let her know that I have her back and will look for ways that she can innovate, and meet her competitor’s challenge in an honourable manner. My father taught that other people are most often well within their rights, even if they cross my path. I take that very much to heart.

In all the ups and downs of living alongside other people, it has long been my view that there is no daylight, when it comes to paying attention to those around us and helping them play to their strengths. We also, however, must take care of ourselves, not depending entirely on those around us. So my day started with car care and ended with an evening of listening to long-time friends playing a mix of 60s-00s rock and country classics. The hummus plate was fabulous, as ever.

The Road to Diamond, Day 245: Uncommon Emotions

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Posted by on in collaborating, Community, distraction issues, impediments, Inner Struggles, Inspiration, Personal Values, Social, Spiritual, Striving

July 31, 2025- Every so often, in places I’ve lived or in jobs I’ve held, there was a feeling of being fully occupied and my presence was justified, but there was no real connection. This is an actual emotion, called Mal de Coucou. It was most common for me in the early ’70s, when many groups engaged in performative camaraderie- and in the marketing “clubs” of the 2000s, where people engaged in similar pretense of teamwork.

Paro, the sense that I am not getting anything right, has hit more times than I can count. The inner nagging stopped, when I came to the realization that more good things were happening on my watch than their opposites.

Jouska, the playing out of imaginary conversations, was a bugbear of my autism, in adolescence and even into young adulthood. The key to getting past this was making actual connections, making Jouska an outflow of Mal de Coucou.

Ecstatic shock is a sudden jolt coming from even so much as a brief glance, from someone you have not seen before. For me, this has happened a half dozen or so times, exclusively from women. One was with me for 29 years afterward. One still connects with me by Instant Messaging, once a week or so, until I can see her again.

There are ten other emotions with names not commonly used in American culture. They may be seen below. All make perfect sense, in their context. How many have you felt?

https://www.dictionaryscoop.com/article/Youve-felt-these-14-emotions-you-just-didnt-know-what-to-call-them?x_title=0&utm_source=blog&utm_campaign=blog-20250731

The Road to Diamond, Day 242: Making Room

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Posted by on in collaborating, Community, distraction issues, impediments, Personal goals, Personal Values, Service Activities, Social, Spiritual, Striving

July 28, 2025- On the way back from Coffee Klatsch, this morning, I passed the scene of an accident, at a surface street intersection. There were six bystanders helping, so I kept on going. A police car was en route to the scene, as I reached a block south. To be clear, I would have stopped and rendered what aid I could, had I been among the first on the scene. We make room for other people in our lives, without crowding theirs.

Towards evening, I witnessed a conflict between two men. Larger men than I stepped in and separated the two. One was escorted out of the building and the other stayed around, and cooled off. I later talked with the guy who stayed. I learned that he has been pushed around by people in the community, for some time. He also expressed gratitude for those of us who have treated him well. We are seen as more important, in his life, than the bullies-some of whom I know for a fact have been pushed around, themselves.

We are at a crossroads in our social being. Many have found themselves in a position where they are not sure whether their long-held convictions even make sense anymore. Some will just double down on those tenets and see where that leads. Others will seek to expand their mindsets, even turning their backs on the tried and true. In each case, though, none should merely be set aside nor should they be banned from expressing selves.

I could expand on this further, but for now, let’s just say that I am hard-wired to support the Big Tent. It’d be a sadder world, if everything were streamlined and homogenized-or even brought into a state of limited and forced-choice. Anything that doesn’t lead to the hurting of innocents or the vulnerable is on the table.

The Road to Diamond, Day 240: Retro Vibes

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Posted by on in Assistance, collaborating, distraction issues, Inner Struggles, Personal Values, Service Activities, Social, Spiritual, Striving

July 26,2025- There was a consensus among the staff at Farmers Market, this afternoon-The energy today was quite strange. Those who are astrologically inclined put the blame on the retrograde of Planet Mercury. A planetary retrograde is the seeming movement of the orb away from the other planets in the solar system. It is said to bring those influenced by it, back over old ground or unresolved past issues.

I can only say there were a few moments today, when I was feeling a bit of tension-mainly within my own space. At those points, I just stood still and told self to get a grip. It was not going to be a day of being irritated with people, who were just going about their day-even if it seemed that too many were in the same space at once. It worked, and taking my time with several small tasks, one at a time, helped me keep the peace.

Towards the end of my work at the Market, a disabled veteran came along and offered to help. I was absolutely glad to have his assistance and it seemed to make his day. Too many people are made to feel like they don’t matter. I won’t be one of those who stokes that sad fire. My father taught us that everyone has a place in the world, and no one ought to be made to feel worthless. I hope I have made that clear to those who have crossed my path, over the years.

This evening was spent enjoying the music of The Dust Ups, a classic country and surfer music band, out of Tempe. They brought back memories of songs by Dick Dale, the Surfaris, Bob Wills and Don Gibson. Willie Nelson, Johnny Cash and Mexico’s Consuelo Vazquez were represented. (The trio is not to be confused with the four man New Jersey band, The Dust-ups, who also offer country fare). I liked their arrangements and end the day glad that there were no dust ups here, even with the strange energy earlier.

The Road to Diamond, Day 232: Flex Time

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Posted by on in collaborating, Community, distraction issues, impediments, Inspiration, Personal Values, Social, Spiritual, Striving

July 18, 2025- Shortly after the founder of a small online devotional group requested that we say prayers, the co-facilitator launched into an anecdote that seemed to have been on her mind for some time. Those of us who had prayers ready to recite gave her our attention for the ten minutes that it took to share the story. Everyone got their words in, by the time the hour was up. It took flexibility to keep the founder, and others, from cutting off the lady and letting the intense story flow to its end. No humans were harmed in this process.

I was taught to seldom, if ever, take it upon myself to interrupt someone speaking, and much less, people in conversation-no matter how trivial their subject might sound to my ears. It was Mom’s idea of humility-and it has paid dividends, over the years. It also requires flexibility, because let’s face it, each of us regards our own ideas and agendas as being of some import. Giving everyone else the same grace, though, is the first sign that the light of maturity is a long-lasting LED, and not a flickering fluorescent tube.

There is another aspect to the notion of staying flexible in the course of one’s affairs. Certain moral concepts are non-negotiable, if we are to maintain civilized society. Private conversations should remain private. A pledge to help someone needs to be carefully thought out, before it is made; it then, must be fulfilled, to the best of one’s ability. Regard for our fellow humans needs to be held separately from differences of opinion. Recognition of a Higher Power is the bedrock upon which any successful life is lived.

There is plenty of room for flexibility, in each of those concepts. The lubricant of that flexibility is love.

The Road to Diamond, Day 228: Simple Gets Complex

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Posted by on in animal and plant life, Assistance, collaborating, Community, distraction issues, impediments, Personal Values, Service Activities, Social, Spiritual, Striving

July 14,2025- It was a sign that the day was going to see routine matters become complicated. The road scheme, in the neighbourhood where friend’s house is located, is under repavement, which means it is being dug up and will gradually get new layers of asphalt. As with any repavement in a close neighbourhood, there needs to be close cooperation and communication between the workers and motorists. I take care to make sure that there are no misunderstandings, so while a three-minute drive to feed the cats became seven, all was smooth.

Later in the day, I found that Soup Kitchen was laid out more like the Luby’s Cafeteria of old. There was twice the amount of fare available tonight, which was a fine midsummer’s treat for the guests: Three kinds of pizza, angel hair pasta with two kinds of sauce, two types of squash, two salads and a variety of desserts. I was the pasta and sauce person. The cleanup took a bit longer than usual, but the diners were most pleased. The line manager doesn’t always remember my name, yet she does know what I do, and is glad that I show up most weeks.

Back to feeding the cats, after Soup Kitchen, I found that the road work was winding down for the day, but it was still necessary to go slowly around heavy equipment that was being brought into position for tomorrow’s resumption of the work. Mundane tasks can become complex, at any time. It’s a good way to hone the skills of patience and humility.

The Road to Diamond, Day 218: What Price, Independence?

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Posted by on in Assistance, children, collaborating, Community, distraction issues, Historical, impediments, Personal Values, Social, Spiritual, Striving

July 4, 2025- “I’m surrounded!”, the little girl said to her older sister, when called back to the family spot, at this evening’s fireworks watching gathering. She was referring to the tall weeds that were on three sides of her. I was sitting on the fourth side. Going around my folding chair was her easy way out, and back to their gathering place she went.

It is a tough Independence Day for many people. A complicated, and widely-reviled, Federal budget has been put in motion. Fear, on all sides, has people figuratively circling around one another. Like the child mentioned above, the fearful panic, without seeing the whole picture, which does present equitable solutions. The short term solution has ever been centering oneself, then learning to listen- to really hear-what those in our communities have to say. The longer-term answers will then present themselves.

What is the price of independence? I have mentioned, in the past, the economist Thomas Sowell’s truism that “Everything is a trade-off.” Permanent solutions would only work if there were permanent circumstances. The Universe, and everything in it, is not static. So it is with independence. It is an opportunity for an individual to establish oneself and make one’s own decisions. Teenagers and young adults seek, and can thrive, on independence. Once established, however, strict independence needs enhancement.

The next level of social evolution, therefore, is interdependence. People seek partners, and then to be part of communities, as they get older. A strong marriage is 100/100. A strong community draws on the strengths of all its members. A wiser community welcomes new members, with skill sets that enhance the established order, and help it adapt to changing circumstances. Gradually, there is more diversity in a community that is not stagnating.

You’ve also read here that “freedom is not free”. Those who relegate decision-making to louder, more insistent voices should not be surprised to find themselves under the thumbs of grifters, dogmatists and tyrants-and a lot sooner than they might expect. It’s happened in small towns, states and nations. Invariably, this happens when a critical mass of citizens choose to not exercise their duty to take part in the affairs of the community. Then, there comes governance by plurality. This has happened to conservative populaces and to communities where the majority are of a progressive bent. Dogmatism and self-interest are not exclusive to one or another ideology.

Each of us is given free will and the wherewithal to make informed, quality decisions. Putting these to use is the only guarantee that we have, as a nation, to retain the Republic that Benjamin Franklin told us we have the responsibility to keep.

The Road to Diamond, Day 213: Triage

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Posted by on in Assistance, collaborating, Community, distraction issues, Matters of Faith, Personal Values, service, Social, Spiritual, Striving

June 29,2025- As I was about to leave for a long-scheduled Baha’i gathering of youth and other community members, at a local Clubhouse, the phone rang with an urgent message from the Red Cross, requesting immediate action. As I had been told my presence at the gathering was needed a half hour prior to the start time, I let the caller know that I could tend to the other matter in two hours’ time. The caller said the matter would be handled by others, in the meantime.

As it happened, the matter, which was a contingency plan in case a wildfire evacuation gets more intense and needs Red Cross intervention, was handled by the caller. A standby team was assembled and I was able to connect digitally with all concerned, after the gathering ended. The wildfire evacuation is being handled by other agencies at this point, anyway. I will keep watch on the situation, over the next few days.

This week is likely to be full of several synchronous events, as we segue into the second half of this riotous calendar year. We mere mortals will have to prioritize, and use triage. Matters which are brought to my attention, with great fanfare, hubris and warnings will get a careful hearing, but if they come in the face of prior commitments to more vulnerable people, I will ask, as I did today, for the matter to fall to someone else. It’ll be amazing how well the matters are handled. I am just past the point in my life where anything, other than family emergencies, will rattle my cage.

The gathering at the clubhouse was spirited, uplifting and well worth the two hours. I can say the same for every other activity that has been fulfilled, even in the face of competing or synchronous demands for my attention. Commitment brings rewards.