The Light of Abiding Love

9

November 4, 2018, Prescott-

Friday night, I headed down to Phoenix, and spent time with several old friends, at the Baha’i Center.  The occasion was a Launch Party Tour finale for  the latest album by a talented young artist, named Colby Jeffers, a rapper with a strong spiritual message.

One of the themes he raised was the importance, the abiding bond, with his wife, M.  They have been present for one another, for several years now, and the love is only getting deeper.

I saw several examples of the light of abiding love, that night, and over the weekend.  Another young couple showed both the firmness of their bond, by holding one another, at moments when Colby’s words hit just the right tone of everlasting love, then having the strength to go about their individual tasks of the evening, knowing that each would be there for the other, when needed.

Penny and I were like that, so my heart is always warmed by a man who takes good care of his beautiful wife-and vice versa.  I feel much the same towards couples who are not quite married, but who are committed to one another.  Having so many friends who are at one point on the commitment continuum, or another, their ties generate light in the world, and I feel reassured.

This was further cemented today, when I attended an honorarium, at a lovely equestrian ranch northwest of here, and saw a couple being honoured, for their service to the Prescott community.  They have suffered unimaginable losses, these past two years, and while I am not her favourite person, by any stretch, I feel very much appreciative of both all they have done and for the depth of their suffering.  Their light shines, intensely, through all the shadows.

Marriage is an affirmation of light, when it is real.

No Idea

11

May 11, 2016, Chino Valley-  I went up here, today, and will again tomorrow, to fulfill a promise I made, before getting the long-term assignment at Prescott High School.   It gives me a chance to continue the friendships I was fortunate to establish, before leaving the little school, just before Christmas.

I have thought a lot about what my place actually is, in this tempestuous time.  All my life, quite honestly, I have felt good about putting other people ahead of myself, and have not suffered as a result.  This continues; my own needs are actually minimal.

Occasional melancholy creeps in, and I think of those I love, intensely, even in my own family, who have no idea how to love me back.  I have to remind myself that there are others, whom I have not loved back.  Part of the grieving process, for me, at least, has been keeping something of a lock on my heart.  When I have unlocked it, and reached out, it’s most often been at the wrong time, toward the wrong person, and BAM goes the hammer.

It’s a circular logic, I know, that has to stop with me.  So, I make an earnest, solemn vow to renew the commitment to having no expectations of anyone, other than myself.  It’s a process, and can be a rewarding one.  That, alone, is what gets me up in the morning, and keeps me looking forward to the next chapters.