Category Archives: distraction issues

Hoarding

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Posted by on in collaborating, distraction issues, impediments, Personal Values, Social, Spiritual, Striving

September 4, 2021- During my weekly visit with some restaurateur friends, the husband told me that there is a rising problem of hoarding, within the food service industry. He did not specify whether the excessive purchases are being done by chains or by insecure independent restaurant owners. He did, however, make it clear that their restaurant was buying what they need, in order to provide fresh and delicious meals for the week.

I was always taught to buy only what I need, as well, as the open market is intended to provide for all, at a fair price. Hoarding, at any point in the supply chain, causes scarcity of goods, and thus, skyrocketing prices. In many countries, this has led to commodity-based riots. Here in the U.S., it is helping to contribute to discontent-as not only discretionary meals, but staples, are sure to be affected, before long-if the hoarding behaviour is not more widely discerned and called out.

There are other things that people hoard: Attention, money, and power. I could go on for a long time on any one of those, but suffice it to say that the intangibles, when hogged by a few, will also contribute to widespread social malaise. No one likes to be pestered or bullied, so the backlash is liable to be swifter than the perpetrators think. In my case, pests and bullies just get blocked and deleted. There are too many genuinely loving people in my world, who give and receive the affection and attention each of us deserves. I am sure that most other rational and genuinely caring people will do the same, for their own well-being.

Hoarders, sooner or later, face the scarcity they so fear.

Ignorance is Bliss?

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Posted by on in Assistance, collaborating, distraction issues, impediments, Inspiration, Personal Values, Social, Striving

August 30, 2021- So, I am looking at a letter which says that, because someone in another person’s community is likely to be jealous of his success, should he build a network of support, I should just give him the money, quietly, and no one will get their feathers ruffled. I am not following the logic, other than the individual adhering to a beggar mentality. It will get him nowhere, of course, but ignorant attitudes die hard.

So it is, with several of the major newspapers in this country, squawking about how imperfect the rescue efforts in Kabul have been. I doubt any of the media moguls who are complaining right now would do any better than the current President, or his three most recent predecessors. In fact, several of those who are the loudest critics were, only a week ago, saying that those Afghans who served our efforts there should stay put and that they were just goldbricks, trying to get a free ride to our country. I am not impressed by the mentality that anything our President does is wrong.

Fire, water, and wind wreak havoc across this country, and several others around the world, and yet those who have theirs are aghast at “the cost of infrastructure repair and of combatting the effects of climate change.” What do they think is going to happen, while destruction continues, God knows what diseases follow Delta, and people in power are sitting on their hands, because procedure has to be followed? A voice of reason, from Louisiana, has called for an end to the mad delusions of his fellows in the U.S. Senate, and elsewhere. Good for him!

Ignorance is leading to the opposite of bliss, and it’s time for those who are suffering to send the U.S. Senate, the Supreme Court and the likes of The Washington Post and The New York Times a clear message-nonviolently, of course, but loud and clear, all the same.

We, the People, have had enough.

How I Overcame Self-Absorption

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Posted by on in children, collaborating, Community, distraction issues, Family, impediments, Inner Struggles, Personal goals, Personal Values, Service Activities, Social, Spiritual, Striving

August 27, 2021-

There was a time when I bumped into a clearly visible barrier pole, whilst backing my car out of a space, at Breakheart Reservation, in my hometown of Saugus. My head was so far into a matter of such earthshaking importance, that I can’t even vaguely recall what it was. I remember the fender bender, though, and the mildly amused twelve-year-old kid who chuckled at my ignorance.

Mom and Dad didn’t raise us to ignore our surroundings, and I caught more than a few rounds of indignation, when I turned too far inward. Gradually, in the wider world, the core of my being, which loved my family and those around us, took focus. Penny came into my life, and we helped each other break out of our respective shells. Students, clients, by the hundreds, became my focus and between wife and children, I realized that my life actually mattered far more than I had thought. Aram became our responsibility and made sure, in turn, that I didn’t lapse into my former bubble.

There was a long eleven years, in which my wife was my primary responsibility. In the end, son and his crew, Penny’s family and my brothers were our primary support group. The cackling crows who castigated me for using the adjective “my”, when I referred to Penny, offered absolutely nothing in the way of help-save their mealy-mouthed ideological puffery. There were also the masses, who went about their business, but at least didn’t get in my way.

On my own, I had choices to make, and slowly shed the residue of self-absorption, once again. A few women came to me, hoping that perhaps they would be the next Penny. It didn’t happen, and life took a far wider turn. I almost deluded myself into thinking that one or two others might be the next Penny. That didn’t happen, either, and life took a wider turn, still. There were three things that propelled me out of my bubble, altogether.

The first was dealing with five people who were/are so intensely self-absorbed, in their own right, that I was constantly wondering what, if any, place there was in the world for me, or any other good soul who was just trying to live a good life. Four of these five are gone from my world now, banned for constantly magnifying every single mistake I made, ignoring any good thing I did and yet clawing at me for attention. The fifth at least thanks me for what has already been done. I thank them, though, for making me aware of all the times I was the same towards others.

Secondly, I found myself largely responsible, for the well-being of over 80 people in a storm shelter, in Alexandria, Louisiana, late last summer, during the daylight hours of a Red Cross operation. That is when my work never stopped, until wiser heads pointed out that the opposite of self-absorption is not complete other-immersion. Then came a more balanced view, that both my personal needs and those of others had equal importance. I also realized that being too deeply in the business of other people robs them of dignity.

Third, the full acceptance of others as complete human beings, beyond their physical trappings and even their personalities, has come about from our collective dealing with COVID and all the climate change-based events that we have faced, and will continue to face, long after I myself have left this earthly life. It takes me three to five seconds to recognize that a woman has pleasing features, that a child is precious, that anyone has an engaging nature.

There are things that are about to happen in this life, that make such an emergence from self-absorption more essential than ever. I look forward to them all.

Best Laid Plans

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Posted by on in Assistance, collaborating, Community, distraction issues, Education, impediments, Inspiration, Personal Values, Social, Striving, Travel

August 26, 2021- To those hoping for a sestina, followed by an octina, in the next two posts-sorry, I worked extra hard today and am ready to do so again tomorrow-so, rain check on the two big kahunas. I don’t go by other people’s schedules anyway.

My day began with a phone call from my colleague, for whom I am covering classes. We have worked as a team, these three weeks-I, in person, with the students and she from her family’s home, in another state. I was on my own today, with basic, but well thought-out plans, which kept five groups of potentially rambunctious teens happily engaged. Not everyone got all the concepts being considered, but when does that ever happen? The students made my day dance.

Plans, these days, are made to be changed. This is a poster year for flexibility, and methinks it is not the last such year that lies in wait. I thought for sure that I would visit Canada in the Spring and Europe in the Fall. Instead, two cross-USA trips took place this Spring and Summer and New Mexico will replace Silesia and Old Prussia, in October. I am very fortunate, regardless.

A man in another country thought for sure that glomming onto me and calling me “Brother” would guarantee him a steady supply of money. Instead, he got some help and a few lessons on forbearance and trying to network, rather than the old “You owe us” guilt trips, which are fast running out of steam.

This has become the year of shattered assumptions and of resilient self-reliance. I am feeling finer, with each day that I face whatever fire happens along. I wish everyone the same.

Conversations, Outbursts and In-between

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Posted by on in Assistance, children, collaborating, distraction issues, impediments, Inspiration, Personal Values, Social, Striving

August 20, 2021- The furious man probably shouldn’t have been behind the wheel of the large pick-up-or maybe the guy who laid on his horn and made the other man furious was the one who shouldn’t have been driving. At any rate, as I was crossing the street on foot, the short but intense verbal exchange between the two gave me pause-for a few seconds, as either one, or both, could have bolted through the red light. Such is the mood, sometimes, as we enter the pause in the Southwest’s monsoon season that is known here, as well as elsewhere, as Dog Days.

Earlier today, the nurse at the school where I was working entered our classroom. As she spotted two boys carrying on, in a manner not to her liking, the woman trained in a more authoritative European model of education dressed the class down and warned them not to entertain disobedience. One tactic she used in this effort made sense to me: She made the students stand next to their desks and look at her, while she was issuing the directive. I found that technique very effective, over the next five hours and every time I had instructions for the six-year-olds, they stood next to their desks and listened. Thus went the one-day assignment I had accepted a month ago, before my concurrent long-term effort at our local high school came about.

When I got home and checked e-mails, I found a last minute, after hours reminder about a medical appointment-for Monday. This procedure was tentatively scheduled, before I agreed to help my old colleague at our high school. Customarily, a reminder is sent out a week prior to the appointment. Two days’ notice, when both the medical facility and school are closed for the weekend, doesn’t work. I will need to re-schedule, at a time that works for all concerned. The students, and my colleague are not going to be given short shrift. The medical procedure will happen, though, and soon. No, it is not a life threatening situation.

Thus went, on this cusp of the August Blue Moon.

Oddquain

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Posted by on in collaborating, Community, distraction issues, impediments, Inspiration, Personal Values, Striving

August 18, 2021-

He

has a want:

Money, from one man.

He would prefer tomorrow

morn.

Many people have come to expect gratification that is instant, or at least forthcoming. We who truly serve humanity do best to turn aside such unrealism, as it debilitates and scars the beggar. So, too, does bloodlust-that which has consumed the present leaders of five countries-Afghanistan being the most recent. Bloodlust, too, dangles instant gratification in front of overgrown little boys.

Coralie

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Posted by on in Assistance, collaborating, Community, distraction issues, impediments, Inner Struggles, Inspiration, Spiritual, Striving

August 14, 2021- The slender young woman accepted my offer to check out my deer hide drum, and began gently beating it, while her exquisitely melodic voice sent forth a Plains Indian chant. The offering electrified the room and set several others to join in, singing in Spanish and Portuguese as well as using their own drums, several rattles, and a flute.

The day had begun with my being greeted by another young woman, across the country, whom I regard vey much like my own daughter. C told me that she had had a hard day at work, yesterday. I assured her this was quite common these days, that she could only do her best and that this should be enough for anyone. I know that she is up to whatever challenge she has to face. I love her for that, and for all that she does in this life.

The more people, especially the young, whom I meet, day by day, the more loving I feel towards them. God knows I have felt so, towards my own son, from the day he was born, and my nephews and nieces, students and those I encounter along the way. With this feeling, my main role is that of advocate and encourager.

Days like this seem to come more frequently now, and the darker it gets in the wider world, the more ferocious become my own determination to love and stand by those who will inherit this world of turmoil and hope; the stronger comes the resolve to give encouragement to all, even those who don’t quite understand me. It’s more readily accepted by women and children, though the number of men who recognize the need for sensitivity and a supportive approach to life is growing.

Coralee, an angel from France, by way of Florida, won just about everyone’s heart this evening, in Synergy Cafe, and made a particular friend of a fine young man, with whom she will attend other events during the rest of her stay here. Such turns of events warm my heart. There was a night, in December, 1980, when such happened to me, in equally unanticipated fashion.

As for Synergy itself, the owner, one of a half dozen, or so, women to whom I am particularly drawn in close friendship, stopped by a couple of times during the evening. I hadn’t seen Sierra in about eight months, so it was especially joyful to visit, just a bit, with this effervescent, irrepressible soul. She promised that the venue’s weekend hours will increase, which suits me just fine. Any time with such friends lifts my soul.

The key to all this is apparent: “O COMPANION OF MY THRONE! Hear no evil, and see no evil, abase not thyself, neither sigh and weep. Speak no evil, that thou mayest not hear it spoken unto thee, and magnify not the faults of others that thine own faults may not appear great; and wish not the abasement of anyone, that thine own abasement be not exposed. Live then the days of thy life, that are less than a fleeting moment, with thy mind stainless, thy heart unsullied, thy thoughts pure, and thy nature sanctified, so that, free and content, thou mayest put away this mortal frame, and repair unto the mystic paradise and abide in the eternal kingdom for evermore.”- Baha’u’llah, “The Hidden Words”

I have no inkling as to when my own mortal frame will be put away, so for the time being, I will see all I meet as friends, not strangers-and be glad for my dearest friends, that they may only grow in number.

Musical Double Eights

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Posted by on in Assistance, children, collaborating, Community, distraction issues, Family, impediments, Inspiration, Matters of Faith, Personal Values, Social, Spiritual, Striving

August 8, 2021- The three little girls methodically cleared all the pebbles from the piece of carpet on which they and their Nanny sat-and on which they wanted to show their tumbling skills. It was a fine bit of teamwork and an enjoyable sight for, as rudimentary as their forward and backward rolls, attempted somersaults and semi-cartwheels were-they showed a determination to build on their nimbleness.

I took in two somewhat different concerts, last night and this afternoon-in each case after a series of study sessions which took four hours. The faith-based discussions were necessary for our work to continue. The music was essential for the soul to want to keep on with this work. Melodious tunes, even vigourous Celtic and American folk tunes, help to focus the spirit, by soothing it. Brid Dower and the Big Fellas provided Gaelic reverie and lore, over two hours last night. It’s been awhile since I last heard live music at the Raven, and far longer since I heard anything Celtic, in a live setting. It was a blessed entry into 8 8 Lionsgate.

Today, after our study session finished, I napped-then went over to Becky Fest, a celebration of women in music, which I had attended for several years since moving to Prescott-except last year. There was plenty of room, and I brought my own chair, thus being able to find a nice shady spot, at which to listen to the vibrant ladies and a few male guitarists sing of all aspects of life-both joyful and full of pain. The little girls mentioned earlier were on the carpet in front of me and to the left of the stage area. One of them, I have known for three years, so it was especially important that I noticed every flip and flop. She was not hurt in the least, and it was a good backdrop to the pickin’ and singin’. ‘D’ was mainly concerned with one thing, in the end: When was I going to go up and visit her house again? That will depend on her ever-busy parents and their willingness to have visitors-nothing to do with COVID, they are highly intensive farmers and like to schedule any company.

Oh, to have a child’s simplicity again!

Firewalls

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Posted by on in Assistance, collaborating, distraction issues, Education, Family, impediments, Inner Struggles, Matters of Faith, Personal goals, Personal Values, Service Activities, Social, Spiritual, Striving

August 7, 2021- A firewall guards me, from mayhem both inside and out .

The above verse is a Lune, or “American haiku”. I have thought of several firewalls, which keep my once fearful self in safety.

There is the firewall of respect. It extends to all life, to the healthy relationships people have with one another, to the sanctity of marriage, of parent and child bonds, and to the right of human beings to make their own choices. It also extends to the hope that this respect will be a two-way street-that parents will respect their children, even those in the womb; that children respect their parents and grandparents-as well as one another; that people respect those whose opinions differ from their own, while measuring their own opinions, so that the resulting actions don’t hurt others.

There is the firewall of unconditional love. It, too, extends to all life, and starts with my unconditional love for self, as a child of the Creator. It does not mean I will give someone everything that is requested-especially if I can see that such giving will weaken either me, or the recipient, or both of us. It means that I love each person, where he/she is now. It means I care equally for the people around the beloved, as they are essential to the loved one’s well-being.

There is the firewall of logic and reason. It is dependent on rest, on proactive health and on inner peace, so that the mindfulness which brings it to the fore can flow untrammeled. Logic and reason allow for flexibility, for movement through changing circumstances. They allow for a climate of peace.

There is the firewall of obedience to natural law. It forewarns me of consequences for acting on untoward thoughts and makes me learn from my mistakes. It shows how to get through unexpected turns of events and how to plan for the next time a calamity may strike.

Firewalls have, all in all, kept me on track for what I must do in the short term, and how I might plan for further out. They also remind me that what I did wrongfully, in the past, simply present lessons, from which hopefully I will have learned.

Hugging, In The Time of Delta

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Posted by on in Assistance, children, collaborating, distraction issues, Education, Inspiration, Personal Values, Service Activities, Social, Spiritual, Striving

August 6, 2021- I had the stitches in my left cheek removed this morning, and was able to shave the area of my scar, with no ill effects. This should eliminate some of the disdain, shown by some shop workers around town, when I next pop into their establishments.

I digress, however. I will find myself on special assignment, next week, as a longtime friend at a local high school is off duty. The protocols needed for effectively dealing with the nuisance named Delta are real, are serious and are not the stuff of government overreach. One of those protocols precludes hugging, in and around the school environment.

I am prone to hugging those I know, who are amenable to such a greeting. I do not go around hugging everyone in sight, nor have I kissed more than one or two people, besides my own mother, since Penny passed away-ten years ago. It is less likely to be an issue, in a high school setting, because Andrew Cuomo,70 and 14-18 retain a certain level of decorum, relative to one another.

This brings me to Andrew Cuomo. While few, if any, of his male critics can claim to be squeaky clean, in the #MeToo department, by and large, they have each had to own up to their indiscretions, at some level. I have certainly done so, and would continue to, were my present levels of self-discipline and heightened awareness to somehow go on a slow fade. We have not, to date, however seen this level of accountability from His Excellency, the Governor. Instead, we hear, “I’m Italian. It’s a cultural thing.” Yes, I know about the men in the Old Country who are legendary butt pinchers or leg/breast gropers. I would imagine that’s changing. Italian women aren’t exactly pushovers, from what I understand. Besides, in this country, Italian-American women are likely to kick a man’s butt, if theirs, or their daughters’. are pinched.

Hugging, or more intimate expressions of affection, are chancy in this country, in any era. Given the current public mood, though, with a 75/25 split as to the seriousness of Delta, I would advise knowing a person’s overall health status, before embracing.