Category Archives: Family

The Road to Diamond, Day 185: Heads or Tails?

0
Posted by on in Assistance, Community, Family, Inspiration, Personal Values, service, Social, Spiritual, Striving, Travel

June 1, 2025- I received a notice from the airline that I’ve been using most often ,these past four years, that my accumulated miles will expire in six months. I have plans to use them, and to add to them, three months from now. Where exactly will depend on a couple of family-related matters that will take clearer shape, in the next month or two. I may be needed at that point in time, or the matter will wait until later in the Fall.

There is an energy in June that says: “Hold off; rest; take care of small, procedural matters and day-to-day interactions. This month, you probably won’t need to go far afield. ” I like that, actually. It will be enough to stand my ground, regarding July, and others’ demands and expectations for that month. It will be enough to plan a bit for September and October. It will be more than enough, still, to resolve the important, when the most important looms over it.

Much of what goes on in life is a flip of the coin. I can only hope that those for whom the toss does not go in their favour will understand that this is not personal. Family is most important; then come those extended family who deeply touch my heart; then comes the community that I have carefully chosen to serve. I realize this is all rather nebulous, but here we are. A lot of moving pieces need to be helped to find their places.

The Road to Diamond, Day 182: Heaviness

0
Posted by on in Assistance, collaborating, Community, Family, impediments, Inner Struggles, Inspiration, Personal Values, Social, Spiritual, Striving

May 29, 2025- It was hard, somehow, to maintain focus during a meeting I attended this morning and through the noon hour. It wasn’t the fault of the presenter, or of the subject matter. The air was cool, so it was not that, either. There was just a heaviness today, that stayed with me, requiring a more concerted effort to get what I needed from the Red Cross training session-for which I was an assistant commentator, to boot. It lingered, even as I purchased a dinner item from a nearby pizzeria, for evening consumption, and as I later exercised on a recumbent bike at Planet Fitness. It wasn’t a physical issue-my blood pressure read normal and I was breathing easily. There had to be some deeper cause.

In this late hour, I am reminded that today would have been the 61st birthday of my late youngest brother, Brian, who died in 1994, just shy of his 30th. He would have been proud of my service to the community, albeit at a very rudimentary level, as his disabilities made communication difficult. Nonetheless, there was a very basic love about the child, and later, the man. It was in our interactions with him that each of his four siblings developed a compassion for those less fortunate. That has informed our social and community behaviours, as much as any experiences we each have had over six or seven decades.

Those who have left us will communicate in various ways. I think now that the spirit of my baby brother was reminding me that sometimes, life takes a gargantuan effort, just to get through an ordinary day. The heaviness lifted, as I sat and read some pages of a book on the ancient Mediterranean world. Brian liked to pretend to read aloud. He would surely have approved.

The Road to Diamond, Day 178: “Like Everybody Else”

0
Posted by on in Assistance, children, collaborating, Community, Family, Inspiration, Personal Values, Social, Spiritual, Striving

May 25, 2025- As I explained that, unless there is a lot of background noise, I can hear people speaking in a normal tone of voice quite well, one of the others at breakfast objected: “Why do you not have hearing aids, like everybody else here?” While I could use a wax cleaning, the fact remains that I don’t have a sustained hearing loss, as yet.

There have been frequent times in my life, when well-intentioned people have urged: “Fit in!” I have, as the years have gone by, pretty much struck a balance between those aspects of conformity that have made sense to me and following my own path. Doing things a certain way, simply because that is what “everybody else” is doing, does not inherently make sense. First of all, no one knows “everybody else”. Each of us knows only a small segment of a given community, and can only claim to have a cursory knowledge of what the rest are doing. Secondly, we know even less of what others do, behind closed doors and drawn shades.

I have basically chosen the road map offered by my parents and other trusted elders, in charting my course and passing along guidance to my son-and the grandchild(ren), when they come. He, and they, in turn, will use their own judgment in adapting to changing circumstances. Conformity only makes sense, when circumstances are the same -as in “driving on the right hand side of the road (except when in countries where it is customary to drive on the left), showing courtesy to those one meets, or bathing/grooming each day,for the sake of health.

So much has changed, though, in my seventy four years, to say nothing of son’s nearly 37 years-or the short lives of my grand nephews and nieces. There are bound to be further changes, and even some of those will be temporary. It is the basics, those behaviours based on love, that will endure and be the foundation for a useful conformity. For those, we can hopefully count on “everybody else”.

The Road to Diamond, Day 173: Home Lands

0
Posted by on in Assistance, collaborating, Community, Family, impediments, Inspiration, Matters of Faith, Personal Values, Social, Spiritual, Striving

May 20, 2025- Coming down the mountain from Strawberry Junction to Camp Verde, my main concern was putting my energy into the safety of the large load of logs being hauled in front of me, and staying in the slow line, regardless of my wanting to get back to Prescott. The truck was fine, even when an antsy driver behind us pulled his pick-up and drove around the line, crossing double yellow lines, when he spotted a minute or two. There is one in every crowd.

I arrived back at Home Base I around 3 p.m., picked up my mail and sorted out the junk from magazines and legitimate bills that still come through snail mail. The VA stuff is always among the latter. I also had to deal with a broken blind mount, for which duct-taping the blinds to the side window will allow privacy for a day or so, until I can get a new set of mounts. (I rarely have opened said blinds, in eleven years, so it must have been one of the workmen who are installing my apartment’s AC unit, who messed with the blinds.)

Home Base I is only one of my Home Lands, as readers have no doubt figured out, over the years. It is where those who believe in me the most happen to be, and I would say that this confidence in my skill sets comes from my having engaged in community activities here. My little family and others would feel the same, if I were to spend more time with them. For now, though, I am grateful for what time I do have in Home Bases II (Grapevine), III (North Shore), IV (Southeast Pennsylvania) and V( Makati). I know some of you will say “What about our area?” I appreciate all the love I get from friends, wherever I go.

What makes a place home, though, is not the mutual love and support that I get, as well as give. It is a deeper feeling, that is often hard to put into words. There is likely to be a time, in the not-too-distant future, when the Home Bases will get shifted around a bit. One scenario has me living closer to my son and daughter-in-law. Another has me in Metro Manila, or a place fairly close to it. Those situations will work themselves out, with Divine Energy in play, much as so many issues and problems have gotten resolved, especially since 2014.

For now, though, I need to give my trusty steed a wash, interior cleaning and routine maintenance, before week’s end. Tomorrow is my dearest’s birthday. I am glad to have been able to get gift and proper greetings sent. The Baha’i Spiritual Assembly and Red Cross need some time tomorrow, as well. So, too, does Bellemont, on Saturday, for a fire wise clean-up. There will be time to relax and ruminate on Sunday and Monday, being Memorial Day weekend.

The Road to Diamond, Day 171: Breathing Deeply

0
Posted by on in Community, Entertainment, Family, Hiking and Nature, Inspiration, Personal Values, Social, Spiritual, Striving

May 18, 2025, Grapevine, TX- Being a sultry day here, our family hike around Coppell’s Wagon Wheel Park was fairly short, but gave a good look at the copses of trees and tall grass prairie that define north Texas. Like any other ecosystem, this has its place in the overall realm of nature. So, we walked along various trails for about an hour. At one point, there was a sketch showing the wingspans of various area birds. The longest was the span of a great blue heron-7 feet. We each stretched our arms out and found 6 feet (Aram and me) and 5 feet (Yunhee).

Coppell Nature Center
Aram and Yunhee under a forest canopy.

The names of the trails are certainly fetching, and family-friendly. The park is also close to Home Base II, so my future visits here will feature walks in Coppell Nature Center, lying within Wagon Wheel.

Of course, no visit here is complete without a full complement of Korean cuisine. So, Yunhee prefaced this hike with a delicious lunch of Mandu-gook (Dumpling soup). Last night, we went to a fine eatery called Ham Ji Bak, in nearby Carrollton. Here is the scene, just before we started “tucking in”.

Jeonyok
Our dinner spread at Ham Ji Bak

This afternoon, we changed course and went to Old Town Lewisville, northeast of Grapevine, and enjoyed an hour or so at Perc Coffee House. It’s always good to get acquainted with spots that offer a relaxing vibe. Lewisville is a bit of a drive, but it’ll be worth further explorations. Besides coming from me, “a bit of a drive” must sound a bit hollow!

Tomorrow, I will head west again. Sportage is wanting another service, but I think she and I will make the rest of the way to Prescott and a Wednesday visit to the dealership will be soon enough. In any event, I will stick to main roads, the rest of the way. This has been another good visit.

The Road to Diamond, Day 170: Security

0
Posted by on in Assistance, collaborating, Family, Inspiration, Personal Values, Service Activities, Social, Spiritual, Striving, Travel

May 17, 2025, Grapevine,TX- There are many ways to hack into someone’s computer. It is one reason why I personally have despised the very word “hack”, which just means “shortcut” and is thus a neutral term. Fortunately, no one has hacked my electronic devices, and with the upgrades in security that my CySec adult child implemented today, it is even less likely.

We are each responsible for our own security, once past a certain age. There will always be those loved ones around us who will help some, but essentially from the time one masters “Look both ways before crossing the street” and “Don’t take things from strangers”, personal safety gets a new owner. When I was a child, I never mastered riding a bicycle until I was around thirteen, so I walked-a lot. I never counted my money in public, and was wary of anyone I didn’t know. Besides, walking kept me in good health, especially since I was no one’s idea of a star athlete.

In adulthood, that penchant for walking has translated into a love of hiking. I have done a lot of solo hikes, even in areas that others cringe over. The key there is to get on and off the trail before dark, though I have done some walks by moonlight. Coyotes have warned me that I was going too far afield, and I have heeded their “advice”. Other animals, from cattle to Gila monsters, have communicated with me, on certain trails, and giving them their preferred berth has worked nicely for all concerned. My favourite was the bull elk who bugled at me from the top of a cliff, far above my trail-apparently letting me know to not mess with his cows, which were also on that cliff top.

Technology has, in general, made safety a lot easier. I can certainly find my way around more easily, with its help, while maintaining what I learned about orienteering, in Fifth Grade. Those skills and a genuinely useful intuition, have resulted in my remaining out of harm’s way.

Lastly, I read today about people who have Williams Syndrome, a genetic condition which results in their seeing everyone as an instant friend, without the normative bonding or evidence of the approaching person being worthy of friendship. To be clear, I have regarded many, but not all, of those whom I have encountered over the years as friends, to a certain extent. Acquaintance has seemed like a rather sour term and enemy a rarely deserved sobriquet. I am discerning enough to know that I am not of the Williams Syndrome category, and I do have my clear boundaries.

So, as the most recent road trip nears its last few days, and I return to Home Base I for three months of service, taking stock of security gives me solace. I am being kept safe, on many levels.

The Road to Diamond, Day 168: Resilience

0
Posted by on in Assistance, collaborating, Community, Family, Historical, Inspiration, Matters of Faith, Personal Values, Social, Spiritual, Striving, Travel

May 15, 2025, Parsons, TN- In the open garage of a country home, I set the box containing a plant, that was gifted by my hosts in Oley, PA to mutual friends who live about two hours east of here. As I was getting ready to pull out of the circular driveway, one of those friends pulled in on the other side. A joyful hug and fifteen-minute catch-up ensued. I learned that friend’s husband, suffering from a serious disease, is showing signs of resilience. Time will tell if he pulls through, though given his wife’s persistence and determination to treat the disease with natural medicine, it is entirely possible that he will.

My hosts in Oley said that my visits are those of encouragement. That does my heart good, as my energy is geared that way. It always has been my mission in life to help others realize their goals; my own goals, not so much, though being on my own, these past fourteen years, has tempered that self-abnegation, a fair amount. I suppose that is only fair.

I made a brief return visit to Broad Porch Coffee House, the most recent successor to Artful Dodger, the former Harrisonburg cafe where a couple of long-gone friends helped me get my bearings and reclaim my own worthiness as a human being, some twelve years ago. Broad Porch is a busier place than Dodger was, but I get much the same vibe. After a brief breakfast, I was on the way back south. The plant had to be delivered, today, and in one piece.

I checked out downtown Roanoke, a city I have pretty much bypassed on previous drives down the Spine. It, and Staunton, the next town south of Harrisonburg, would be worth a day or two of exploration each, on future backs and forths. From Roanoke, down through Bristol and the out skirts of Knoxville, plant and I continued. In Crossville, we found her new home, and the above conversation took place.

Now, I rest, in the crossroads of Land Between the Lakes and Natchez Trace. Not far from here is Loretta Lynn’s Ranch. As I now have a different mission, getting to my little family’s place in Grapevine, tourism is off the agenda. There’s a lot to do around Parsons, according to a fellow guest who frequents this motel, but I will save that for later, as well.

The bright orange flower and the resilient couple will keep on showing the world that life is ever about bouncing back-God willing and the creek don’t rise.

The Road to Diamond, Day 165: Kosher

0
Posted by on in collaborating, Family, Inspiration, Personal Values, Social, Spiritual, Striving, Travel

May 12, 2025, Exton, PA- I stopped at a “New York-style” restaurant, in Vernon, CT, while en route from Saugus to this western Philadelphia suburb that is a third anchor for my sibling family. The place was beyond packed, almost reminding me of the old Jack and Marion’s, in Boston. This was the first place I’ve been in a long while, where the lunch line was practically out the door. I took my Reuben sandwich to go, and enjoyed half in the car. The rest will be tomorrow’s lunch.

Urban delicatessens, especially New York and Chicago styles, are centered primarily on kosher, or traditional Jewish foods. The quality of the meats and cheeses has an appeal far beyond those adhering to the dietary instructions of Judaism. Kosher has come to mean correct, present with integrity, “doing what you say”.

We live in a very precise age, and the slightest slip-up can bring down a host of criticism, some of it well-intended, other meant to make the critic feel better about self, by focusing on a flawed other. I have learned that indulging in criticism, however, will invariably bring the “three fingers pointing back at you” of Hindu lore. Being truly “kosher”, in one’s daily life, is best served by being the one finger that points at self, and doing the requisite self-examination.

I ended the day by visiting with my middle sibling and his wife, for a short time, over dinner here in Exton. Thus, all three of my visits with siblings were pleasant, with meals as backdrops. The next few days will focus on friends. My relationships with all are “kosher”.

The Road to Diamond, Day 164: Mothers

0
Posted by on in collaborating, Community, Entertainment, Family, Inspiration, Personal Values, Social, Spiritual, Striving, Travel

May 11, 2025, Saugus, MA- In the end, my plan to take the rocking chair left by my mother when she passed away last year ended up a bust. The structure of Sportage was the main issue-the bar supporting the back storage privacy screen cannot be removed. It is a design flaw of the 2020 models, and is generally not an issue. It was, this time, but the chair is in good hands.

I spent a few minutes graveside this morning, then joined my brother and sister-in-law for a Mother’s Day lunch. It was held at a steak house, which Mom would have enjoyed. Some traditions continue and others are newly established. I like to think the steak house lunch is a bit of both. Time was that Hilltop Steak House was the place to go. It closed and was re-developed into a mixed use collection of residences and small shops. Across the highway, though, is Jimmy’s Steer House, an equally fine establishment. That was our lunch venue today.

After three days of rain, the skies were clear and it was shirtsleeve weather. This was fitting for honouring the people who have kept the human race going, for at least a million years. The first woman was probably not called Eve; she may not even have had a name. Language would have come well after human consciousness arose. The maternal instinct, though, has been passed up from some fairly simple animals to us, the highest form of earthly life.

I have recently been told that, in a certain person’s view, everything that I am today is because of the government. The state has little to do with who I am, though. That honour goes quite strongly to my parents, especially to Mom, who did so much for the five of us. Without her roadmaps and admonitions, my father’s work of keeping a roof over our heads and food on the table would have been next to impossible. It is because of her that “adulting”, for me, is less of a burden, and is in fact a joy.

I will leave this hometown of mine tomorrow, heading first to Pennsylvania to family and friends there, then on to Virginia and Tennessee for brief visits with other friends and to Texas, for a few days with my little family. Mom’s spirit will stay with me, as will Penny’s, and each leg of the journey ahead will be safe.

Safety and guidance are the pillars of a mother’s love.

The Road to Diamond, Day 152: Far-flung Family

0
Posted by on in Assistance, collaborating, Community, Family, Inspiration, Personal Values, Social, Spiritual, Striving

April 29, 2025- A lone patron sat on a stool at The County Seat Restaurant, when I walked in this morning. I knew instantly who it was- a cousin whom I hadn’t seen in 31 years. (Spoiler alerts: I had been in contact with him for a few weeks, and had arranged this lunch meet-up; besides, LinkedIn cued me to his present appearance.) I have been in his “summer community”, in the Twin Cities area, a couple of times in the past several years, but he was not there at the time. During the colder months, he and his wife are at home in the Phoenix area.

Our conversation focused, quite a bit, on the subject of family reunions. We used to have those, organized by one nuclear family unit or another, when the majority of aunts and uncles were still around. Now, there are four aunts on my paternal side and one aunt on my maternal side. We cousins connect, to some extent, with our siblings-and occasionally with those further afield.

I was able to visit with several cousins, on both sides, last summer during our farewell to my mother. The idea of an annual reunion was bruited about, but it occurs to me that the best way to connect with extended family is to just make arrangements, on an individual basis. That worked the past few summers and again today. It will likely work again, in a week or two, when I get back to New England for several days. Then, too, there will be stops in Pennsylvania, Virginia, Tennessee-and on to Texas, and my little family, if only for a weekend.

B and I compared notes. We have both pretty much blanketed the United States and have been to a smattering of other countries. Our far-flung family has made its presence known in just about every country where there is a French diaspora. We each have Irish blood, so that, too, has given us connections. My German ancestry also has ties to a good many parts of the world.

I won’t likely connect with every member of the brood, but it’s fun when connections do happen.