Category Archives: Family

Extended Family, Reno- Carson, Day 2: Memorial Day

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Posted by on in Family, Inspiration, Social

May 30, 2016, Reno- We came back up here, visiting the laid-back, always loving, fluid family mash-up that is the Hill household.  The 3-6 souls who anchor the Reno point of my family constellation are predictable in two ways:  There will always be interesting media on-screen, usually streaming video or movies; and there will always be food delivered, in copious quantities.

Our fare today was not barbecue (“Too dry around here”), but Domino’s pizza, wings (both bone-in and boneless), Parmesan bites, and Dad’s Root Beer.  There was enough to take care of the eight of us for the rest of the day.  The film was Barbara Streisand’s and Seth Rogen’s  “Guilt Trip”.  Neither my mother or I, as much as we love one another, would ever countenance a drive together that lasted more than three hours. As a movie, though, the character growth inherent in a parent-child journey makes for a captivating story line.  Both grew, marvelously, as people, by the end of the film- and largely because there was mutual fulfillment.

Memorial Day’s main purpose, though, was not lost on anyone here.  There was a solemnity in the house- W’s stepfather, who raised her, has been gone three years;  S was lost in thought about his departed loved ones; and it goes without saying that my thoughts were not far from my beloved.  That we were each far from the cemeteries that hold the remains of those gone on, mattered little.  They continue to inspire us and watch us carefully.

 

Extended Family, Reno-Carson: Day One

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Posted by on in children, Family, Service Activities, Social

May 29, 2016, Carson City- There are several places in the world, where I feel among family.  Over the past five years, the blended family that straddles the burgeoning area of northwest Nevada has provided one of those places.  The Smiths have been friends of ours for over twenty years.  Their children and grandchildren have maintained that tie, and grown into extended family.

The youngest grandchild has been a particular delight- a spirited, highly intelligent 4 1/2-year-old.  I was introduced, this morning, to her Star Wars robot.

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Veronica’s Star Wars robot

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Veronica’s Star Wars robot

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Veronica’s Star Wars robot

Okay, that was overkill, but this little lady has given me practice at potential grandparenthood. I am inclined towards a combination of healthy fun mode and diligent oversight, as well as being concerned with the child’s holistic growth.

This day was thus a low-key affair, helping with locating moved items, unpacking some boxes and helping to re-establish the household.  Such will be the order of the next three days, worked around the usual family events.

 

There Is No Empty

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Posted by on in Family, Social, Travel

May 28, 2016, Carson City- The medical emergency which hospitalized an old friend, yesterday, has abated somewhat.  As is usually the case in a responsible medical institution, she has been kept overnight and will be able to leave hospital tomorrow, if her condition holds and tests turn up negative.

So, with my anxiety thus relieved, I headed north from Prescott, at a suitably early hour ( 8 A.M.), stopping for a late breakfast at Westside Lilo’s, my restaurant of choice in Seligman, a fun, touristy town, some 34 miles northwest of Prescott.  Lilo and her husband have had this German-Mexican fusion establishment since 1963.  It, along with several other places in town, do a land-office business, owing to the popularity of the area as a pit stop between Las Vegas and the South Rim of the Grand Canyon.   After a lovely chorizo scramble, and some banter with Lilo, I was off again, this time without the transmission issues that clouded last year’s Reno trip.

Being a holiday weekend, traffic through Kingman and Las Vegas was a fraction of what it normally is.  I made it through the metro area in rather short time, choosing to stop at Indian Springs, on the far north side of Clark County, for a refueling.

U.S. 95 was characteristically sparse with traffic, most of it being commercial on this serene Saturday, and much of that was comprised of fuel tankers, of all things.  A spot of rain in and around Tonopah, and again in the area east of Boundary Peak, gave a bit of a shake-up to the droning drive.  Another point of interest is the transition zone between the Mojave Desert and the Great Basin.  The Joshua Trees, and other plants native to the Mojave, fade out near Coaldale Junction, about an hour north of Tonopah.  The Basin is largely grassland, at least in this area.  Salt flats are a bit more common than I remember seeing, in previous visits.  Then again, I was pre-occupied with the car last year, and may not have noticed.

Speaking of which, my stop in Hawthorne, just south of Walker Lake, was brief and uneventful this time.  A tankful of gas was all that was needed.  Looking in the restroom mirror, though, I saw a scruffy face, with an uneven shave, looking back at me.  That may have explained the “30-45 minute wait” I was offered at Pizza Factory, near the Shell station.  I moved on, taking a quick look at the lake, before heading to Carson City in greater earnest.

Walker Lake, NV
Mt. Grant, near Hawthorne, NV

It is still cool here, in the eastern reaches of Sierra Nevada, and it will be a while before Mt. Grant (above, right) sheds its snow cover.

The old friend whom I am visiting these next few days  has,  this very day, moved from Reno to Carson City, closer to her younger daughter and youngest grandchild.  It is partly my purpose to help with the inevitable furniture moving and unpacking of boxes, as her settling in again continues.  After a lovely drive through the scenic Smith Valley, with its towns of Yerington, Wellington, Gardnerville and Minden, punctuated by the gorgeous West Fork of the Walker river, I found it prudent to get a hearty dinner at El Charro Avitia, on Carson City’s south end.  There, I enjoyed the delights of seafood enchilada and shared in the locals’ joy in their favoured Golden State Warriors’ come-from-behind victory.

It took a bit longer to locate my host’s new residence, but here I am, at the end of the day, and in the process helping her to note that her new apartment complex has two distinct sub-complexes.  Out of confusion comes learning.  I am fortunate to have several places where I feel like I’m with family.  Tomorrow, a little angel will explain to me the world of cartoon dragons.

 

Amen To All That

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Posted by on in Community, Family, Personal goals, Striving

May 17, 2016, Prescott- Things went better at work today, as I knew they would.  Contrition replaced stridency, and my supervisor announced, at the start of the day, that no one would be allowed to talk politics in class.

My son had a successful laser eye treatment, this morning, and is now at his home, enjoying renewed clarity of vision.  We had a fine conversation, this evening, as usual. He is proactive with his personal affairs, so I feel a firm foundation was set, both with our guidance and with our mistakes, from which he learned.

Preliminary job feelers have come out, regarding next academic year, from my current department.  It’s nice to be again making a good impression.  I would be primarily responsible for helping a young autistic man, with academics and life skills, and, by extension, working with others who need academic assistance.  The process should take not much more than a week.

I have been admonished by some who feel I am too busy.  Well, there is always a lot going on, but here I am with the free time to write, in clear-headed fashion.  There are end-of-year events, this week and next, along with a charity dinner for the family of a woman who died from childbirth complications.  I will need to get my vehicle serviced on Friday, and head to an old stomping ground, Keams Canyon, on Saturday, to support Baha’is who have moved there recently, at a devotional meeting they are having.  Then, once school is done, it’ll be time to help a friend in Reno move to Carson City.

Busy, somewhat, but feeling productive is a good thing, for me.

NEXT:  Another hike along Prescott Circle, this time in Granite Basin.

 

 

 

 

Maternal

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Posted by on in Family, Personal Values

May 8, 2016, Prescott- Talking with my mother today, I learned she has a new smart phone- which I called her new “hobby”.  It’s great for her, at a certain age, to take up technology.  She wants to study every facet of it, slowly- so as not to get bollixed up. It was raining in the Boston area, as it was here, and was about the same temperature.  Everyone back there seems to be on an even keel, which I hope continues as long as possible.

She thanked me for thinking of her.  I can’t imagine a time when I would not do so.  Mom gave the best of her life for the five of us, for over 40 years .(There was fourteen years’ difference between my youngest brother, now deceased, and me.)  Helping her, when we can, is more than poetic justice.  She remarked that she knows of some mothers, whose children have not spoken to them in years.  What a terrible thing to have happen!  I am something of a loner, but I can’t imagine not keeping in regular touch with my family members- especially my mother, my son and siblings.

I wish for peace to be made, between those who are at odds with their parents, or their children.  There is no greater heartache, I would imagine, short of losing them to death.  Family is the bedrock of any society.  Happy Mother’s Day to all women who have nurtured a child to adulthood!

Out Like A Lion

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Posted by on in Community, Family, Inspiration, Personal Values, Striving, Uncategorized

March 30, 2016, Prescott-  I’ve been pretty busy this week, with work, and a brief foray into the “after work” social gathering scene.  I find it still as shallow as it was when I frequented such gatherings, before Penny came along.  People have their closed groups, and no matter that one or two might invite a newcomer, out of courtesy, it doesn’t take long for the body language to stiffen and the eye contact to move to those familiar faces.

My thoughts went today to the places where, and the people with whom, I feel at home.  Not all are my ever-agreeable supporters.  Some are critics, but they are honest critics, and are often quite helpful.  As my beloved always said, “The opposite of love is indifference”.

In this hour of a March that is headed out like a lion, after treating us to icy wind and a dusting of snow, I want to honour the places that are homes to me, in the West, since it’s been a while.

Prescott and vicinity, Flagstaff, Marana, Tubac, Bisbee, Thatcher, the Sunnyslope area of Phoenix,  Holbrook, Hopi land, Pine Springs, Reno and Carson City, San Diego and vicinity, Dana Point, San Clemente, Lomita, Santa Barbara, Ojai, Ashland (OR), Portland, Spokane, Anacortes, Wrangell, Juneau, Sitka, Ketchikan, Afton (WY), Cortez, Boulder, Colorado Springs, San Luis (CO), Socorro, Albuquerque, Truth or Consequences. I can go to any of these places, and there will be a welcoming presence.

I will talk further about my homes in the Midwest, the South, the Northeast, and the rest of the world, in subsequent posts.  The point is, I am ever grateful for all who have reached out, kept faith in me, and not abandoned me out of difference of opinion, hurt feelings, or convenience.

Let’s see whether the March Lion gives way, willingly, to the April Lamb.

My Life Thus Far: Lessons Learned from “The Aughts”

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Posted by on in Assistance, Family, Inner Struggles, Personal Values

March 11, 2016, Prescott- Today’s been rather a fine day.  The AARP Tax-Aid Center did the honours, this year, and I gauged things properly, as it happens.  It was a fine thing to watch a noble send-off for Nancy Reagan.  Shortly, I will head to a Spaghetti Dinner/ Drum Circle, at the home of some Chino Valley friends.

I want to address the single most challenging decade of my life, a bit differently than I have the others.  The high points/low points are getting a bit tedious, and I have mentioned people and places in the heart, to the point of repetition.

The major feature of any time of great challenge is: “What have you learned?”  Here goes:

2000:  1.  Pundits make poor prognosticators.  2.  The wealthy can be quite down-to-Earth, especially when hosting. 3.  Taking a southern route doesn’t always result in avoiding snow.

2001:  1.  Troubled people can sometimes network, and bring about calamity.  In fact, they can be very surreptitious about it. (Mingus Mountain Academy, February and the Wayward Planes, September).  2.  No matter how shattering a calamity in my life, I will find a way forward. (Forced out of work one day, in a new job three days later.)

2002:  1.  Everyone’s child is precious.(In this horrific year of assaults and kidnappings of girls, this was especially vividly accented.) 2.  Girls can be spot-on, in getting the drop on their abductors (Think Kyla Pratt, Philadelphia and the two teens in Los Angeles). 3.  Just because the landlord says so, doesn’t make it so. (Mid-lease attempt to up our pet rent was shot down by the City of Phoenix.)

2003: 1. Never take your eyes off someone so precious (Penny fell, when I was momentarily distracted by talking to another friend). 2.  No matter how noble an effort one is making to save others, focus on family first. (She fell a second time, while I was occupied with fighting serious bad actors on the Internet. This time, the gig was up and her decline began.) 3.  Honouring one’s elders is always a good thing. (Mom’s 75th was a bright spot, in this dark year. 4.  Working close to home is not always the best course of action. (Palo Verde Middle School)

2004:  1.  People are beginning to feel a disconnect with government, even down to the lowest level, i.e. school administrators. (The parent of a white student, who felt victimized by a black classmate, voiced the sense she was being dismissed out of hand, by the principal, at the school where I was working.) 2.  There is, related to that, a serious gap in communication, between different population groups. 3.  Never take a job, out of expedience.

2005:  1.  People, who are uncomfortable with physical disability, are not above bending the truth, or exaggerating, to get rid of a disabled employee.  2.  There is magic,still, in a full formal wedding, set in the mountains. (My eldest niece was married in the Mount Washington Hotel.) 3.  Justice, deferred, is still justice. ( A Justice of the Peace, who ignored the testimony of a deputy sheriff, in favour of well-connected people, who caused the accident that totaled Penny’s car, was himself removed from the bench, by the Superior Court, six months after having fined my wife.)

2006: 1.  As excruciating as it is, for the person being retired, there are some people who do their level best to offer a dignified retirement to a disabled worker. (Penny’s retirement was achieved in dignity, thanks to school district office personnel.) 2.  The advancement of knowledge is always amazing. (She moved on, and began working on her third Master’s Degree.) 3.  Having pride in one’s child graduating in summer is perfectly natural, and essential. (On his 18th birthday, our son showed that persistence was part of his nature, as well.  We honoured him fully.)

2007:  1. Putting together a Virtual Field Trip is an amazing experience.  (We flew to Atlanta, attended my oldest nephew’s wedding, then drove to various places, between Atlanta and Saugus, taking photos along the way. These were part of Penny’s technology education project.)  2.  Even the most reserved family members come through, in a pinch. (My taciturn sister-in-law put together a lovely 25th anniversary gathering for us and Penny’s gruff brother-in-law repaired her rickety wheelchair.  We got it replaced, once back to Arizona.)  3.  Driving in the pouring rain is probably not the best practice session for a teen driver. (The poor girl was in tears, after pulling out in front of me, on a South Carolina highway.  No harm was done, except maybe to her confidence.  The man in the passenger seat didn’t look very happy, perhaps a stern father.)

2008:  1.  Arrogance can lead to overreaction. (The CEO of an automotive design company busted out laughing, at a poorly-designed electric car prototype, offered by an environmental action student group to which Penny belonged.)  2.  Even in a period of declining health, the mind can accomplish great things. (Penny completed most of her coursework by December.)  3.  Honesty always leads to vindication, when coupled with persistence and attention to detail, even if it takes a while. (A school worker was rough with a Kindergartner, then embellished a tale about me, when I comforted the girl.  I voluntarily took a leave of absence, but was vindicated, after three weeks.  The other person was terminated.)

2009:  1.  Even mental health workers can have a blind spot, when it comes to the disabled and their families. (I was let go, after three months, because of “conflict”  between my work for the agency and being Penny’s caretaker.  I found out later that it was all about my not generating revenue for the agency.) 2.  Driving, cross-country, with a disabled passenger was slowly getting easier, rest-room wise.  More states allowed opposite-sex caretakers to go with their disabled person into the restroom, and several were starting to install Caretaker-friendly “Family” restrooms. (We had a relatively easy trip, to and from my third nephew’s wedding.) 3.  If acting as caretaker, do take time for one’s own well-being.  The greater selfishness comes from pretending that one must be full-on, 24/7. 4.  Never, ever, try to outpace credit card debt by just pulling more money out of investment funds. (Yes, we ended the year in Chapter 7.) 5.  Most importantly, when given a major task, involving a loved one, see it through, no matter the obstacles.

The decade ended with me still substitute-teaching, Penny having earned, and received, her third Master’s Degree, and she increasingly spending more time asleep than awake. As those who followed me, then, on Xanga and Facebook will recall, there would be 14 more months of struggle and decline.  The decade which followed, and which is now  well past half-finished, would sharply distinguish between light and shadow.

 

Rice Canyon

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Posted by on in Family, Hiking and Nature, Travel

March 7, 2016, Prescott-  This past weekend featured my shortest visit to southern California, since July 3, 2013.  It was truncated by the intense storms hitting the region- with rare  Winter electrical elements, and hail, in the mix.

My visit with my son, Aram, was the main reason for the journey.  It is indicative of how much of me he has absorbed, that he asked whether I was just “swinging by” on the way to see friends.  It is true that, in the past, I have combined a visit with him and those with friends in Orange County and Los Angeles.  That was not the case this time, as both weather and fiscal prudence put the latter two segments on hold, until early June.

One of the things I enjoy doing is connecting people with places in the area where I happen to be, that they enjoy or find useful.  I do this here in Home Base, and I was able to do so with Aram, in Chula Vista.  I introduced him to a small Thai restaurant, near his home, on Saturday night.  Yesterday afternoon, we discovered Rice Canyon, a lovely trail just ten minutes’ walk from his apartment.  This trail system, a feature of the City of Chula Vista, gives area residents a lovely venue for hiking, biking and jogging.

Here are some scenes of this floral, riparian preserve.

Palms, Rice Canyon, Chula Vista
Copse, Rice Canyon, Chula Vista
North Trailhead, Rice Canyon, Chula Vista

There is a pleasant mix of desert and subtropical flora here, as elsewhere in the San Diego area.  Palm trees abound, though they are in a state of drought-induced duress right now.

Here is a steep side trail, leading to a housing area just west of Rice Canyon.
Lemonade Berry shrub “forest”, Rice Canyon, Chula Vista
Hidden creek, Rice Canyon, Chula Vista

Erosion, mostly man-made, is a concern for the friends of Rice Canyon.  Aram was underwhelmed at the notion of “side trails”, in the preserve.  Lemonade berry shrubs(above/upper right) provided the Kumayaay people with a sour beverage.   A small creek, (above, lower right) peeked out at the discerning walker.  Myrtillocacti (below) are also common in the South Bay of San Diego and the Tijuana Estuary.

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Myrtillocacti, Rice Canyon, Chula Vista

We had a fine introduction to the canyon, during a seven-hour respite from the rain that graced southern California with its presence.  This morning, no sooner had I left the city, than the rain resumed, with a vengeance.

 

 

My Life Thus Far: The Nineties

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Posted by on in children, Family, Inner Struggles, Personal Values, Social

March 6, 2016, Chula Vista- In the scheme of things, my most productive decade, to date, has been the 1990’s.  My forties were, initially, of consternation to my wife, but ended up being a time of relative calm and mutual growth for us.

1990-High Point: Travels with my family, around Jeju.                                                                                   Low Point:  Losing several more aunts and uncles.                                                                                People in the Heart:  My little family; my students; the Korean Baha’is.                                     Places in the Heart:  Jeju; Mt. Halla; Nonsan; Yosu.

1991- High Point:  Continued growth of our community, and in my teaching.                                       Low Point:   None.  This was a very sanguine year.                                                                                 People in the Heart:  Koreans, in general.                                                                                               Places in the Heart:  Jeju; Inchon; Jonju, Busan .

1992- High Point:  Return to the Navajo Nation.                                                                                               Low Point:  Leaving Korea.                                                                                                                              People in the Heart:  My students, both in Jeju and in Jeddito; the long-suffering Mr. Chun; Marty Green, who gave me a fresh start; the proprietress of Mile-Hi Motel, Prescott.                                                                                                                                                                              Places in the Heart:  Jeju; Sorak-san; Prescott; Jeddito.

1993- High Point:  Penny’s return to teaching.                                                                                                   Low Point:  Dealing with a disinformation campaign.                                                                          People in the Heart:  My Navajo and Hopi students; A.T. Sinquah; the Begay family,              of Cienega Canyon; Harry James, who gave his life for his faith.                                                      Places in the Heart:  Jeddito, Keams Canyon; Canyon de Chelly; Flagstaff.

1994- High Point:  Learning about, and implementing, a comprehensive guidance                              program.                                                                                                                                                                Low Point:  Struggling to adapt to new school administration.                                                         People in the Heart:  The Ambrose family; the Melvins, who taught me how to act                 with grace, and patience; all the aforementioned.                                                                     Places in the Heart:  Pinon; Shungopavi; First Mesa.

1995-High Point:  Our first cross-country road trip, as a family.                                                                 Low Point:  The passing of Penny’s paternal grandfather.                                                                  People in the Heart:  Sadie Charley; the Bathkes; the Shuplas; A. C. Fellman.                           Places in the Heart:  Louhelen Baha’i School; Bedminster; Saugus.

1996- High Point:  Continued success in our school’s program.                                                                    Low Point:  The passing of our neighbour, Georgianna T.

           People in the Heart:  The Coin family; Clifford Q., who taught us all patience, in a                  different way; Mark Sacco, who never gave up on the hardest of students; the                            Smiley sisters; the Tewanema family.

          Places in the Heart:  Edgewater, NM (our vacation spot); Sandia Crest; the Navajo                  and Hopi Nations, in general.

1997- High Point:  Our road trip with Lady (our dachshund, adopted in 1995).                                        Low Point:  The suicide of a former student.                                                                                            People in the Heart: Marwin Woody and his family; the staff of Louhelen Baha’i                      School; all my relations.                                                                                                                                  Places in the Heart:  Amarillo; Effingham; Lambertville, NJ; Louhelen Baha’i                           school; Edwardsville, IL.

1998-High Point: My securing a principalship.                                                                                                   Low Point: The accidental death of a key staff member.                                                                       People in the Heart:  Mrs. Lowe and Ms. Young, my strongest classroom teachers.                  Places in the Heart: Chilchinbeto; Kayenta.

1999-High Point: Landing on my feet, at Salome High School.                                                                     Low Point: Aram’s harrowing return visit to Korea.                                                                             People in the Heart:  Tom Riggenbach, the Charley family (who spoke in my                             defense); Paul Lansing; the majority of my constituents in La Paz County.                                   Places in the Heart: Polacca; Salome; Prescott.

The Nineties began with stability and hope, though various storm clouds were always showing lightning,in the distance.  This was a time that began and ended with big moves for us.  I made a stab at being an administrator, and found it was not for me. I am much more at home with counseling, and would have done better to hone my skills in that area, still further.  Penny had a serious fall, in 1998, and we spent much time and energy seeking competent neurological care.  She seemed to have recovered, by the end of the year, when we observed her parents’ 50th Wedding Anniversary.  The decade ended with us working through the joys and sorrows of life in a small Southwestern town.

Still and all, that decade was good for us.  The ten years to come would prove far more challenging.

 

 

True Diamonds

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Posted by on in Family, Striving

March 5, 2016, Chula Vista-

I laid a diamond in a vault,

Some five years ago today.

A hatchling gem sprouted wings,

and  found his own way.

Much happened to burnish

away the rough,

both for mother and for son.

I think of those who have not

seen their shine,

It’s for them that my tears run.