Category Archives: Family

The Road to Diamond, Day 23: Longest and Darkest

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Posted by on in Assistance, children, collaborating, Community, Family, impediments, Inspiration, Matters of Faith, Personal Values, Social, Spiritual, Striving

December 21, 2024- When love is freely given them, the children always love back.

Six little girls danced continuously, as the family band, Galactogogues served up the contents of their 13-song album. When the tempo was fast and vibrant, the children pranced, tumbled and bounced around the dance floor, under the watchful eyes of their mothers and grandmothers. When the music was quiet and subdued, the girls offered rather elegant interpretive steps. (The aging security guard glared and grumbled, but that’s another story.) There was love between parents and children.

I thought of the times when my generation’s youthful energy alternately got approval and admonition, from our elders. The same happened when my son’s generation did things that were harmless and delightful, or when they came close to harm’s way. Invariably, the generations understood each other, because underneath it all, there was love.

Today, in the northern hemisphere, featured the longest and darkest night. Here, it was a thing of beauty. The stars twinkled above, and there was a sense of camaraderie among the fans of Galactogogues. The band played all our favourites from its various club dates of the past five years and a few new tunes from the Bohrman’s son and daughter. At the end of the evening, as Meg Bohrman credited her children, Cosimo and Opal, and percussionist friend, Zach Dominguez, Opal did not let her mother go uncredited. When love is freely given them, the children always love back.

Far across the Pacific, another family reunited, a few days ago. I know the mother. She gives enormously of herself, for the sake of each of her three children. They, in turn, are protective of her as well. The same hold with yours truly, and my little family. We are a unit built on love.

When love is freely given them, the children always love back.

Here is the family, about ten years ago, offering their reworking of “Will The Circle Be Unbroken?”

The Road to Diamond, Day 20: Watchful

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Posted by on in collaborating, Community, Family, impediments, Inspiration, Personal Values, Social, Spiritual, Striving

December 18, 2024- I have been asked by a few people whether I am nervous about the Stock Market, in December. No, actually; I am more amused by the knee-jerk behaviour, “Close to Christmas? Let’s unload!” No one over the age of 50, who has done anything right financially, is going to enter a swooning contest over the end-of-year follies. We wait until January, and we go on.

I remain more watchful of those who make outlandish promises. The more promises they make and the larger their constituency, the closer an eye I keep on them. Of course, as the smarter ones walk back their more outlandish gift items, my relaxation meter goes up accordingly.

I am grateful for my loved ones who are watchful of me, as well. Penny always kept me on the straight and narrow, as long as she was cognitively able. My little family and siblings weigh in, when they feel the necessity. My best friend now is not shy about speaking out, when she sees a possible mistake coming.

So, while getting ready for delightful holidays, let us all relax-while keeping an eye on things that may really get in the way of the Season-and stay in support of one another.

The Road to Diamond, Day 16: Privilege

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Posted by on in collaborating, Community, Family, Inspiration, Personal Values, Social, Spiritual, Striving

December 14, 2024- Caitlin Clark, a White woman who some other White women love to hate, commented on her own selection as Athlete of the Year, pointing out that much of her success in life has come from having enjoyed privilege. This stung both those who themselves enjoy semi-royal perks and those who have struggled to so much as put food on the table. I don’t know Caitlin Clark, or any other professional athlete, for that matter, but I do know White people who enjoy privilege and several who do not. I, myself, have been in both categories, at different times in my life-enough to know that one can be traded for the other, at a moment’s notice.

To her credit, Ms. Clark calls on the public to show respect for the many athletes of colour who have built her League-the WBNA. This, too, has offended those who still don’t see beyond their own narrow circumstances. More’s the pity. My life has been made all the richer, by having people of all “colours” and ethnicities in my life. Not all of them have been friendly, but each has imparted an opportunity for me to build personal strength.

I see the entitled ones, each day. Some are White; some are people of colour. They tend to not want to have much to do with people like me, and that’s okay. I look in their eyes and see deadness, shadow. My friends are those whose eyes and faces radiate emotion-mostly caring, joie de vivre. The entitled ones radiate nothing. Their whole being is transactional and they only associate with those from whom they can derive benefit. The rest of us are seen as impediments.

My people are those whom the wirepullers and elitists have trampled, or have deluded into doing the trampling for them. My people are those who have struggled, and yet they keep on trying. They either have transcended the lie, or will transcend it. It has nothing to do with income level, or race, mind you. I know of at least one person of colour, here in Prescott, who only associates with the elites. I know many White people of achievement, including in my own family, who would give the shirts off their backs to the suffering. It is about character, and nothing else.

The vast majority of those I have met, are my people. I kind of think that Caitlin Clark would be one of them.

The Road to Diamond, Day 2: Fort Worth

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Posted by on in animal and plant life, collaborating, Community, Family, Hiking and Nature, Inspiration, Personal Values, Social, Spiritual, Striving, Travel

November 30, 2024, Grapevine- Donnie Wahlberg took our order, at Tokyo Cafe, carefully serving the Miso Soup, Yakisoba, Tokyokonomiyaki (savory, creamy pancake) and eel roll. Of course, it was one of Donnie’s look-alikes. He did a fine job, bringing us our late lunch.

Yesterday was spent on the northern edge of Dallas, so today was Fort Worth’s turn. Our center was Cowtown’s Botanic Garden, a sprawling gem, whose own centerpiece is the Japanese Garden. We were set on wandering mode, starting with Tropical Garden, an indoor setting, given this area’s late Fall temperatures-soon to be followed by a wintry mix. There are both tropical and subtropical flora, including a Philippine banana tree.

Banana tree, found in the Philippines and Malaysian Borneo.

Our meanderings took us past a children’s garden, so we stopped and posed as cookies.

The Gingerbread Trio

Next, was a Kokedama Forest.

Two rows of Kokedama (above and below)

Kokedama is a Japanese botanic art, involving growing plants in a moss-covered ball of soil, contained by a web of string or monofilament fishing line.

Fort Worth has a sister city in Japan: Nagaoka. A symbol of resilience was sent to the Garden, by citizens of Nagaoka. Here is a Mikoshi, topped by the figure of a phoenix.

Most poignant is the Seven Pillars Monument, a tribute to soldiers who served in Viet Nam, in 1967. A lone soldier wrote to the people of Fort Worth, asking that someone acknowledge the sacrifices being waged by his comrades. The community responded with an outpouring of food and personal hygiene supplies. Seven of the soldiers made it home. Five did not. Thus, there are seven standing pillars and five “broken” ones.
The Call for Help, answered by Fort Worth.

This park promises to be a favourite of Aram and Yunhee. I will also want to stop by, when I am out this way next Spring.

Large koi pond, Japanese Garden

The Road to Diamond-Day 1: Cedar Ridge

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Posted by on in animal and plant life, Assistance, collaborating, Community, Family, Hiking and Nature, Personal goals, Personal Values, Social, Spiritual, Striving, Travel

November 29, 2024, Grapevine- The three of us stood, overlooking Cattail Pond, as if it were the Pacific Ocean. In Dallas, any body of water will fill that bill. We took this 4-mile loop, after finishing off most of yesterday’s left overs, at today’s lunch.

Cattail Pond (Above and below)

Each trip around the Sun brings a theme, of sorts. Today begins a two-year stretch, centered on the notion of Diamond Jubilee-the road to that date (11/28/25), and the journey on the hard rock plateau, that follows the Jubilee. I’ve been asked, by at least one friend, how my travel plans are shaping up for 2025. The only things that are certain are that I will spend three weeks with my special someone and our circle of friends,in Home Base III, for three weeks: Late January to mid-February. From then on, I will again be in constant travel mode, save for a few key dates in the Spring that will tie things up at Home Base I. The scope and direction of my journeys will depend on what happens in February, but there will be much work to get done, regardless.

For the next few days, though, I am soaking up family love, at HB II. Partly because of my birthday having been celebrated and because of a general celebration of Thanksgiving, I have been in constant touch with friends in Prescott and the Philippines, and by extension, across the globe. It is salubrious and I thank everyone, near and far, who has taken the time to honour my life. It takes three seconds to type a “Thank you”, so that’s what I’ve done. (Jacqueline Kennedy Onassis, by contrast, wrote out hundreds of Thank You notes, in pen and ink, after each event to which she was invited, or which was held in her honour. She always was, and is, the gold standard).

Cedar Ridge is a remnant of glacial fingers extending down into the north Texas prairie, and leaving this pleasing network of hillocks and ravines, as a contrast to the sweeping riparian Plains. We had our share of short, but steep, climbs and descents. Thanks to the Audubon Society, I can’t think of a better way to “recover” from Thanksgiving Feast, part I and part II.

The sweep of Cedar Ridge Preserve, Dallas

A Year of Beauty; A Year of Release

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Posted by on in Assistance, collaborating, Community, Family, impediments, Inspiration, Matters of Faith, Personal goals, Personal Values, Service Activities, Social, Spiritual, Striving, Travel

November 27, 2024, Grapevine- This was the year that Mom went home to Dad and to her parents, siblings and youngest son. This was the year that we lost Marcia, Michele, Cousin David, Johnny and Verne. It seemed like a thousand celebrities went home to our Maker, whether they said they believed in Him or not.

It seemed for a time, that we would follow Mexico’s lead, and actually elect a woman as President-but that was not to be. Other forces have to run their course, and marginalized people have to feel that they truly matter and are heard. Other marginalized people will need to keep making their voices heard. As a friend said, after the election, the true gap is between classes, not races. There is much to be said for that notion.

I went clear across the continent, to Newfoundland and St.Pierre/Miquelon. Later, it was time to go northwestward, to Vancouver Island’s west coast and to the Sunshine Coast of British Columbia. There was time, in between and afterward, to pay respects to the woman who brought me into this world, and to be there when she left it.

In autumn’s colours and light, I left this continent for the longest period of time since I spent ten months in VietNam, so long ago. A good part of my heart stayed in the Philippines and waits there for me to return, early next year. The call to duty in Home Base I is also strong. I was, and am, determined to make the most of time I have there, that the Love of Baha’u’llah will be felt more strongly in that swath of north central Arizona.

Small gaps were closed this year. I spent time in a place that was central to the first stages of the American War for Independence; honoured a First Nations people, in two Canadian provinces and two others, on the opposite side of the country; spent a Baha’i Holy Day in the first House of Worship built in the Western Hemisphere; visited the most temperate place in the Philippines, and the westernmost part of that country; paid the last money owed on two credit accounts. I went to the top of Astoria Column, and later watched “The Goonies”, which was set in that mouth of the Columbia River. I saw whales swimming in the wild. I overcame some lingering doubts about myself.

So now, 73 is saying goodbye, and its successor promises to usher in a year of fruition, in place of this year of effort and struggle. A bit of 2024 remains, and there are goals to be reached in December. I will think further on them, as 74 marches in, tomorrow.

Down Time

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Posted by on in children, collaborating, Entertainment, Family, impediments, Inspiration, Personal Values, Social, Striving, Travel

November 26, 2024, Grapevine, TX- There really is no such thing as down time.

Sitting in the arrivals area of Terminal B, at Dallas-Fort Worth International Airport, while waiting for my son to complete a personal matter, I got to witness several slices of life. A little girl followed her slightly older sister, in a version of mall walking. They circled around the luggage carousels, at least six times.

Another child decided she would push both her mother’s suitcase and her own, which had her backpack balanced on top. The experiment fell apart, when the backpack tumbled off. Mom just took her suitcase and carried the backpack. Child had enough to handle with her own bag.

Little boy decided he would run around and check out the moving carousel. His gentle mother came and picked him up, soothing his squalling voice, by explaining that she needed his help in finding their suitcase. She did not let him climb into the empty bin that was going around the carousel. Oh, the minds of toddlers!

There was no down time, once Aram came and got me at the passenger pick-up point. We discussed some aspects of my game plan for next year. We also had a wide-ranging discussion of current events. There were errands done, a nap taken (okay, that was my “down time” again) and the three of us watching The Goonies, which Yunhee and I had never seen. I found it interesting, seeing actors I only know from adult roles (Sean Astin, Josh Brolin, Martha Plimpton) in their early years and John Matuszak, a professional football player, who became an actor, as the unlikely hero, Sloth. The silly film’s redeeming plot twist came when the namesake group of kids came to the deformed, but intelligent, Sloth’s defense.

In a world of humans, individual needs and interesting sideshows, there is no real down time.

The Face of Unity

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Posted by on in collaborating, Community, distraction issues, Family, impediments, Matters of Faith, Personal goals, Personal Values, Social, Spiritual, Striving

November 20, 2024- “The core of a child’s education starts with the mother.” Upon my uttering that statement, a chorus of naysayers erupted with their buts, howevers and whatabouts. Methinks they missed the word core. A father does indeed have to stand alongside a mother, and augment the child’s learning. Grandparents and other adult relatives are the second layer of learning reinforcement. Teachers and neighbours, the “village” that it takes to raise a child, are the tertiary layer, and on outward it goes. No, friends, the entire village cannot be on top of the child, all at once.

Several of us were gathered in a comfortable Southwestern-style home, to ponder the question, “What does a unified community look like?” Much of the time was spent in putting forth, and sifting through, various and sundry individual points of view and reflections on life experiences that emanate from life in an often harsh and imperfect world.

Unity starts with respect for, and from, the individual. It proceeds outward, only when one has self-respect and when genuine respect for others emanates from oneself. That respect has to be a two-way street. A political conservative, even a reactionary, cannot advance real unity, without having respect for liberals and progressives. The converse is equally true.

Unity continues with each one having what my father called the courage of your convictions. True courage involves recognizing that what I think and feel does not have to be what anyone else thinks and feels-and the converse is also true. I can be equally at home talking with the members of my American Legion Post, or with conservative Christian friends, as I am among Progressive groups or those committed to social justice. Their opinions are not their souls.

Unity necessitates that the group be able to separate fact from fancy. It also goes back to respect: No adult has the right to live their life through their child, or even through their spouse. We live for our loved ones, and with them. Arriving at a point of unity means talking with the significant other, with the offspring, ascertaining everyone’s wants, needs, dreams and seeing what is most important for the group, and for each of its members. Penny’s mantra was “Consultation is finding out.” I can think of no better way to put it.

Do you think that submitting to the dictates of a strongman will solve the problems of the community, or of the nation? How does that affect the future of your children-both in the immediate and in the far future? Do they not have a say in the matter?

Want to invest in bitcoin? How will that impact your family or group of friends? Should you not discuss this fully with your near circle?

Wish you had a son, instead of a daughter-or vice versa? Does that give you the right to talk him/her into transitioning, even before full adulthood, or even before full puberty? How will that impact the life of that precious soul-tomorrow, next year, and ten, twenty, fifty years from now? Is that not an informed decision to be freely made by the person in question, as a mature adult?

It is well-known that I have deep feelings for someone who presently lives far from me. I also have deep feelings for my little family in Texas, for my siblings and extended family, across the continent and for all manner of friends in this community, and beyond. Any decision that I make, that impacts the life of any one of them, will actively take into consideration their thoughts, feelings and sensibilities. That is my path of unity.

The impact on unity of our decisions is large and small. Slight disunity is like a pebble in a shoe. Major disunity is like a brain tumour, or an abdominal stone. Most, if not all, of it can be avoided by consultation. The greater the chasm, the longer the bridge.

We did not arrive at a picture of what unity looks like, but we did leave the house with an overall sense of respect for one another. We did arrive at the realization that we are each primarily spiritual beings in physical bodies. We will proceed from there, in our deliberations.

Misogyny

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Posted by on in children, collaborating, Community, Family, Inspiration, Personal goals, Personal Values, Social, Spiritual, Striving

November 17, 2024- I watched the first episode of “Lioness” this evening. It is a spy thriller, centered on women secret agents and fighters, in a Middle Eastern backdrop. Each of the women has a male advocate, if not a lover. They just don’t really need those men, day to day. One of the central characters comes to the Lioness program by way of escaping from a gang of disaffected, misogynistic men.

I thought back to how I was raised-to be a gentleman (by my father), countered by male peers who were alternately respectful of our mothers, sisters, grandmothers and aunts, while carrying a veneer of seeing other girls and women as means to an end. It was the stuff of adolescence, certainly, but subliminally was carried forward into our group psyches.

My wife became my equal, my partner, by dint of her sheer intellect and tough personality. Penny grew to become nobody’s fool. I became someone who did not need a fool. As the first true love of my maturity grew into a fully independent woman, so I began to grow into a fully independent man. From there, we both became interdependent.

In the years immediately following her passing, I found the sticky residue of my adolescence clinging to my psyche. As sheer will power and prayer had helped me shed alcohol dependency, thirty years earlier, so did they help me shed the stench of misogyny that was trying to get out. I let it out, along with the lack of self-esteem that is behind all such negative dust. True maturity had been reached.

Young men, around the world, face challenges to their self-concept that have historically been faced by posturing, adopting a dominant position towards their female peers and subscribing to a false sense of entitlement. This is the ethos of The Pack. There is an alpha male, but his “true strength” is only evident when the rest of the peer group is present, for reinforcement. The public face of misogyny is the Incel (“involuntary celibate”), who takes the stance that abstinence from sex is being forced on him by a conspiracy of women and other men.

In truth, though, focusing on one’s sexuality is dealing with only the outer trappings of insecurity. Procreation has an important place in the order of society, but it is only a place. A person, male or female, who has been raised to truly value self, who is focused on his/her totality: Intellect, variety of interests, physical stamina, dreams and goals, social skills, spirituality-will be more likely to know success, to be resilient in the face of challenges and less likely to blame others when things go wrong.

These are things I have come to fully realize, over the past fourteen years.

A Sane and Intelligent Patriotism

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Posted by on in Assistance, collaborating, Community, Family, Inspiration, Matters of Faith, Personal Values, Social, Spiritual, Striving

November 11,2024-

“Let there be no misgivings as to the animating purpose of the world-wide Law of Baha’u’llah. Far from aiming at the subversion of the existing foundations of society, it seeks to broaden its basis, to remold its institutions in a manner consonant with the needs of an ever-changing world. It can conflict with no legitimate allegiances, nor can it undermine essential loyalties. Its purpose is neither to stifle the flame of a sane and intelligent patriotism in men’s hearts, nor to abolish the system of national autonomy so essential if the evils of excessive centralization are to be avoided.”- Shoghi Effendi, The World Order of Baha’u’llah, pgs 41-42.

Relatively few people, deep down, are hateful towards their families. There are always disagreements and sometimes outright quarrels, but let an outsider attack a member of the brood, and the wagons will circle.

Go up the chain, towards community, state and nation-and the same process will play out. There are nations where the populace is restive, and outwardly disdainful of their government. Let someone from outside the group try and enter the fray, however, and there will be a united front.

Our feelings towards our families, communities, states/provinces/prefectures/oblasts, and our nations are each a reflection of how we see ourselves. An emotionally and physically healthy person has positive self-regard, love of family and healthy appreciation for, with a degree of loyalty towards, her/his surroundings. It is second nature for a human being to defend self; for parents to stand up for children, and vice versa; for siblings, and even cousins, to band together; for neighbours to support one another, in time of need; and for the citizens of a nation to defend their homeland.

In this day, it is also imperative for the human race to stand together, in the best interests of our species as a whole. This does not mean militarizing against a still-ephemeral race, or races, of extraterrestrials. It means coming together to devise solutions to threats against our collective existence. Some are the results of natural cycles and others are wrought by human activity. We are a vast multitude of imperfect beings. Every one of us has made mistakes, and many of those errors have had ill effects on others, besides ourselves. Collectively, by dint of excessive self-centered behaviour or just in the course of trying to live an ordered life, we have exacerbated, ramped up the effects of a natural increase in global temperatures-yes, that global warming. It would happen anyway, because it’s a natural cycle, but our actions, as a species, have made it worse.

So, what is a sane and intelligent patriotism? To me, it is simply a love for all the units to which one belongs, a willingness to band together with others, and to work, tirelessly, for the good of the homeland. Our homeland, in addition to our nation, is Planet Earth.

“The earth is but one country and mankind its citizens”-Baha’u’llah, Lawh-i-Maqsud (Tablet of Intention)