Category Archives: Family

The Road to Diamond, Day 170: Security

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Posted by on in Assistance, collaborating, Family, Inspiration, Personal Values, Service Activities, Social, Spiritual, Striving, Travel

May 17, 2025, Grapevine,TX- There are many ways to hack into someone’s computer. It is one reason why I personally have despised the very word “hack”, which just means “shortcut” and is thus a neutral term. Fortunately, no one has hacked my electronic devices, and with the upgrades in security that my CySec adult child implemented today, it is even less likely.

We are each responsible for our own security, once past a certain age. There will always be those loved ones around us who will help some, but essentially from the time one masters “Look both ways before crossing the street” and “Don’t take things from strangers”, personal safety gets a new owner. When I was a child, I never mastered riding a bicycle until I was around thirteen, so I walked-a lot. I never counted my money in public, and was wary of anyone I didn’t know. Besides, walking kept me in good health, especially since I was no one’s idea of a star athlete.

In adulthood, that penchant for walking has translated into a love of hiking. I have done a lot of solo hikes, even in areas that others cringe over. The key there is to get on and off the trail before dark, though I have done some walks by moonlight. Coyotes have warned me that I was going too far afield, and I have heeded their “advice”. Other animals, from cattle to Gila monsters, have communicated with me, on certain trails, and giving them their preferred berth has worked nicely for all concerned. My favourite was the bull elk who bugled at me from the top of a cliff, far above my trail-apparently letting me know to not mess with his cows, which were also on that cliff top.

Technology has, in general, made safety a lot easier. I can certainly find my way around more easily, with its help, while maintaining what I learned about orienteering, in Fifth Grade. Those skills and a genuinely useful intuition, have resulted in my remaining out of harm’s way.

Lastly, I read today about people who have Williams Syndrome, a genetic condition which results in their seeing everyone as an instant friend, without the normative bonding or evidence of the approaching person being worthy of friendship. To be clear, I have regarded many, but not all, of those whom I have encountered over the years as friends, to a certain extent. Acquaintance has seemed like a rather sour term and enemy a rarely deserved sobriquet. I am discerning enough to know that I am not of the Williams Syndrome category, and I do have my clear boundaries.

So, as the most recent road trip nears its last few days, and I return to Home Base I for three months of service, taking stock of security gives me solace. I am being kept safe, on many levels.

The Road to Diamond, Day 168: Resilience

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Posted by on in Assistance, collaborating, Community, Family, Historical, Inspiration, Matters of Faith, Personal Values, Social, Spiritual, Striving, Travel

May 15, 2025, Parsons, TN- In the open garage of a country home, I set the box containing a plant, that was gifted by my hosts in Oley, PA to mutual friends who live about two hours east of here. As I was getting ready to pull out of the circular driveway, one of those friends pulled in on the other side. A joyful hug and fifteen-minute catch-up ensued. I learned that friend’s husband, suffering from a serious disease, is showing signs of resilience. Time will tell if he pulls through, though given his wife’s persistence and determination to treat the disease with natural medicine, it is entirely possible that he will.

My hosts in Oley said that my visits are those of encouragement. That does my heart good, as my energy is geared that way. It always has been my mission in life to help others realize their goals; my own goals, not so much, though being on my own, these past fourteen years, has tempered that self-abnegation, a fair amount. I suppose that is only fair.

I made a brief return visit to Broad Porch Coffee House, the most recent successor to Artful Dodger, the former Harrisonburg cafe where a couple of long-gone friends helped me get my bearings and reclaim my own worthiness as a human being, some twelve years ago. Broad Porch is a busier place than Dodger was, but I get much the same vibe. After a brief breakfast, I was on the way back south. The plant had to be delivered, today, and in one piece.

I checked out downtown Roanoke, a city I have pretty much bypassed on previous drives down the Spine. It, and Staunton, the next town south of Harrisonburg, would be worth a day or two of exploration each, on future backs and forths. From Roanoke, down through Bristol and the out skirts of Knoxville, plant and I continued. In Crossville, we found her new home, and the above conversation took place.

Now, I rest, in the crossroads of Land Between the Lakes and Natchez Trace. Not far from here is Loretta Lynn’s Ranch. As I now have a different mission, getting to my little family’s place in Grapevine, tourism is off the agenda. There’s a lot to do around Parsons, according to a fellow guest who frequents this motel, but I will save that for later, as well.

The bright orange flower and the resilient couple will keep on showing the world that life is ever about bouncing back-God willing and the creek don’t rise.

The Road to Diamond, Day 165: Kosher

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Posted by on in collaborating, Family, Inspiration, Personal Values, Social, Spiritual, Striving, Travel

May 12, 2025, Exton, PA- I stopped at a “New York-style” restaurant, in Vernon, CT, while en route from Saugus to this western Philadelphia suburb that is a third anchor for my sibling family. The place was beyond packed, almost reminding me of the old Jack and Marion’s, in Boston. This was the first place I’ve been in a long while, where the lunch line was practically out the door. I took my Reuben sandwich to go, and enjoyed half in the car. The rest will be tomorrow’s lunch.

Urban delicatessens, especially New York and Chicago styles, are centered primarily on kosher, or traditional Jewish foods. The quality of the meats and cheeses has an appeal far beyond those adhering to the dietary instructions of Judaism. Kosher has come to mean correct, present with integrity, “doing what you say”.

We live in a very precise age, and the slightest slip-up can bring down a host of criticism, some of it well-intended, other meant to make the critic feel better about self, by focusing on a flawed other. I have learned that indulging in criticism, however, will invariably bring the “three fingers pointing back at you” of Hindu lore. Being truly “kosher”, in one’s daily life, is best served by being the one finger that points at self, and doing the requisite self-examination.

I ended the day by visiting with my middle sibling and his wife, for a short time, over dinner here in Exton. Thus, all three of my visits with siblings were pleasant, with meals as backdrops. The next few days will focus on friends. My relationships with all are “kosher”.

The Road to Diamond, Day 164: Mothers

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Posted by on in collaborating, Community, Entertainment, Family, Inspiration, Personal Values, Social, Spiritual, Striving, Travel

May 11, 2025, Saugus, MA- In the end, my plan to take the rocking chair left by my mother when she passed away last year ended up a bust. The structure of Sportage was the main issue-the bar supporting the back storage privacy screen cannot be removed. It is a design flaw of the 2020 models, and is generally not an issue. It was, this time, but the chair is in good hands.

I spent a few minutes graveside this morning, then joined my brother and sister-in-law for a Mother’s Day lunch. It was held at a steak house, which Mom would have enjoyed. Some traditions continue and others are newly established. I like to think the steak house lunch is a bit of both. Time was that Hilltop Steak House was the place to go. It closed and was re-developed into a mixed use collection of residences and small shops. Across the highway, though, is Jimmy’s Steer House, an equally fine establishment. That was our lunch venue today.

After three days of rain, the skies were clear and it was shirtsleeve weather. This was fitting for honouring the people who have kept the human race going, for at least a million years. The first woman was probably not called Eve; she may not even have had a name. Language would have come well after human consciousness arose. The maternal instinct, though, has been passed up from some fairly simple animals to us, the highest form of earthly life.

I have recently been told that, in a certain person’s view, everything that I am today is because of the government. The state has little to do with who I am, though. That honour goes quite strongly to my parents, especially to Mom, who did so much for the five of us. Without her roadmaps and admonitions, my father’s work of keeping a roof over our heads and food on the table would have been next to impossible. It is because of her that “adulting”, for me, is less of a burden, and is in fact a joy.

I will leave this hometown of mine tomorrow, heading first to Pennsylvania to family and friends there, then on to Virginia and Tennessee for brief visits with other friends and to Texas, for a few days with my little family. Mom’s spirit will stay with me, as will Penny’s, and each leg of the journey ahead will be safe.

Safety and guidance are the pillars of a mother’s love.

The Road to Diamond, Day 152: Far-flung Family

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Posted by on in Assistance, collaborating, Community, Family, Inspiration, Personal Values, Social, Spiritual, Striving

April 29, 2025- A lone patron sat on a stool at The County Seat Restaurant, when I walked in this morning. I knew instantly who it was- a cousin whom I hadn’t seen in 31 years. (Spoiler alerts: I had been in contact with him for a few weeks, and had arranged this lunch meet-up; besides, LinkedIn cued me to his present appearance.) I have been in his “summer community”, in the Twin Cities area, a couple of times in the past several years, but he was not there at the time. During the colder months, he and his wife are at home in the Phoenix area.

Our conversation focused, quite a bit, on the subject of family reunions. We used to have those, organized by one nuclear family unit or another, when the majority of aunts and uncles were still around. Now, there are four aunts on my paternal side and one aunt on my maternal side. We cousins connect, to some extent, with our siblings-and occasionally with those further afield.

I was able to visit with several cousins, on both sides, last summer during our farewell to my mother. The idea of an annual reunion was bruited about, but it occurs to me that the best way to connect with extended family is to just make arrangements, on an individual basis. That worked the past few summers and again today. It will likely work again, in a week or two, when I get back to New England for several days. Then, too, there will be stops in Pennsylvania, Virginia, Tennessee-and on to Texas, and my little family, if only for a weekend.

B and I compared notes. We have both pretty much blanketed the United States and have been to a smattering of other countries. Our far-flung family has made its presence known in just about every country where there is a French diaspora. We each have Irish blood, so that, too, has given us connections. My German ancestry also has ties to a good many parts of the world.

I won’t likely connect with every member of the brood, but it’s fun when connections do happen.

The Road to Diamond, Day 142: The Long of It

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Posted by on in children, collaborating, Community, Family, impediments, Inspiration, Personal Values, service, Social, Spiritual, Striving

April 19, 2025- Today was the 250th anniversary of the beginning of the Battles of Lexington and Concord, which are seen by many as the beginning of the American War for Independence from Great Britain. It is also the twelfth anniversary of the Boston Marathon bombing, by which two men and a woman tried to make the claim that the American Experience was ignoring the plight of Muslims in Western and Central Asia, and thus Americans deserved to suffer.

A conservative friend recently pointed out that the basic conflict in our society is between those who believe good actions should be the result of free choice and those who believe that good actions often have to be coerced. I believe that most people start out the socializing portion of their lives (around age 4) wanting to please the people who are most closely in their view (parents, siblings, grandparents and, if they are lucky, extended family like aunts, uncles and cousins). Friends begin to be made around that time, as well. If that love is not reciprocated, for whatever reason, the person will devise other means of obtaining goals. Thus, greed, aggression and devious behaviour (such as lying or fantasizing) take root.

So, until such time as the spiritualization of the entirety of the human race is realized, we need some governmental safeguards, to serve as prompts, in moments of feckless, antisocial or exclusionary activity. We needed government to put a stop to slavery, then to two-tiered education systems and institutionalized racism, then to the same discriminatory practices regarding the treatment of women-and by extension, homosexuals. We needed government to protect workers from the excessive greed of employers. To some extent, we still need these laws, to guard against backsliding.

Freedom is never going to be free, so if we as a species want to be able to function without coercion, there is only one long term answer, the development and maintenance of self-discipline. My life has only become freer since I made a disciplined lifestyle my reality. I am quite certain that the same is true of anyone else who truly feels personal freedom.

The Road to Diamond, Day 140: First Dibs

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Posted by on in Assistance, children, collaborating, Family, impediments, Personal Values, service, Social, Spiritual, Striving

April 17, 2025- I checked online, about a request that I made to be relieved of a volunteer slot at an upcoming charity event. The request was denied, due to a shortage of other interested volunteers. I could very well take the stance that it’s my time, something more important, further afield, has come up and life is just too bad sometimes.

I will do nothing of the sort. My word is good for a lot more than convenience. The event in this community will benefit a lot of children and teens. The event for which I might have traded my time would primarily benefit only me, with Kathy getting a video of a place which I have already taken several photographs. So, the edge goes to Home Base I.

There are several choices that will need to be made, both on an individual and on a collective basis, over the next several months, and likely well into next year. I can only control what choices I make, so here it is: With Baha’i Teachings as my road map, my little family and Kathy come first, followed by extended family, then this community-including Baha’i friends and finally, all those across the continent and the world. I guess I put myself somewhere in the middle of it all, yet I will survive just fine.

I know, in each situation, who gets first dibs.

The Road to Diamond, Day 135: An Overdue Reunion

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Posted by on in Assistance, collaborating, Community, Family, impediments, Matters of Faith, Personal Values, service, Social, Spiritual, Striving, Travel

April 12, 2025- The cousins had not seen one another for forty years, though they have spoken by phone on several occasions. Their embrace was timeless and classical, reflecting the universality of family and of the human need for continuity.

Reunited
Bobot, Thelma and Celeste after dinner, with a “stealth selfie” of yours truly.

Coming from large families, on both sides, I thoroughly appreciated what was transpiring, in this well-appointed home, on Phoenix’s far south side. The Filipina cousins re-cemented routes that had never really been severed, over a delectable meal of chicken adobo and steamed kalabasa(squash). I will hopefully meet with some of my own cousins next month, though our parting has not been anywhere near as long.

The day began well, with visits to Prescott Farmers’ Market and Zeke’s Eatin’ Place. Each of my local friends were gracious and welcoming to Babot and Thelma. The visits afforded them free samosas and enough food from Zeke’s to keep them for another day or so.

We next drove down to Desert Rose Baha’i Institute, in Eloy. There was a great temperature difference between there and Prescott, so we kept our outdoor time to a minimum. The caretakers were busy with another matter, so after brief conversations with them,we conducted our own tour. I made what I thought was a comprehensive video, using my i-Phone, only to later find that it had somehow jammed and ended up recording nothing. (Note to self, next time use the camera. It doesn’t depend on cell towers.) I have photos from a January visit here, and Bobot took his own video, which I hope turned out better. In any case, my friends enjoyed this little bit of Baha’i property.

The last journey on my watch, from Eloy to Phoenix, was marred by neither dust storms nor heavy traffic. We found the house easily, and after showing my friends that the best way to get someone to let them in to a house was by pressing the doorbell, rather than relying solely on the phone, the joyful reunion was complete.

I drove back to Home Base I, a bit tired, but happy that the week has been a fair success.

The Road to Diamond, Day 122: The Value of Love

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Posted by on in children, collaborating, Community, Family, Inner Struggles, Inspiration, Matters of Faith, Personal Values, Social, Spiritual, Striving

March 30, 2025- In reflecting further on King Lear, which I experienced last night, for the first time since studying the tragedy, as a high school senior (57 years ago), it was showcased as another example of the primacy of love, and the ultimate futility of scheming and power-seeking, through external means.

This morning, a fellow diner at breakfast spoke of a young relative, who had been disaffected from her own mother and siblings. The young woman is welcomed by this person and spouse, and not subjected to judgment, but rather a loving home-which has its rules of order, but not strictures of stifling.

I have made a lot of progress in that regard, with any difficulties for which I was responsible in the past having largely come from my own self-loathing. The result is that, within my own space, life has taken on a new energy, a stronger hope that, even in the autumn of my life, and into its winter in the decades to come, I will continue to radiate what is deepest in my heart. I have recently had dreams of children who resemble both my son and my daughter-in-law. The children have each stood at the side of my bed and told me they loved me. This may be foreshadowing, or just a reflection of how I would feel towards any grandchild(ren) who enter our lives.

The most important thing, though, is that self-love radiates outward, and touches everyone who comes along. That is something that had to survive a few hard relationships, in the latter part of the 2010s and would have to transcend any setbacks in the years to come, as well. Love, as I’ve said before, is the basis for all else that is.

The Road to Diamond, Day 111: Yin/Yang

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Posted by on in Assistance, children, collaborating, Community, Family, Inspiration, Matters of Faith, Personal Values, Social, Spiritual, Striving

March 19,2025- The little girl holding an arm load of red and green tennis balls looked plaintively at me, through the chain-link fence of the tennis court, as I was walking back from downtown. There, near my feet, was a stray ball, with the same yin/yang design as the ones she was holding. I picked up the ball and tossed it, underhand, over the fence to her waiting, appreciative father.

Earlier, while I was on the way downtown, a man and his three sons were riding their bicycles, with a good heady speed, up the slight hill. This sort of exercise is vital to people, especially children, so I gladly stepped aside. Kids on bicycles or on skateboards, deserve all the support they can get, from adults. It was a joy to see the father engaged with his children.

These families are not uncommon in Prescott. People are always gathered outdoors, in this manner. It made the message I read when I got home, from the Baha’i Faith’s Supreme Body, all the more cogent. The Universal House of Justice wrote us on the subject of the importance of family, as the basic unit of society. ‘Abdu’l-Baha said, in the early 20th Century, that the family was the miniature of a nation. In today’s letter, the Institution noted that there is a struggle between forces, which are pulling society in opposite directions. The family, in its functioning, needs to steer a middle path between the two extremes, and focus on building character in its children-a character which will serve the person well, throughout life.

Towards evening, I learned that someone in our neighbourhood, an obviously troubled individual, had to be jailed for lewd and lascivious behaviour. There are small children next door to Home Base I and two teenage girls live in houses across the street. I look out for these kids, while knowing they have loving and dedicated parents. The miscreant will not harm any of them, even if released for some reason.

There is always a yin and yang.