Category Archives: impediments

In-Laws

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Posted by on in children, collaborating, Family, impediments, Inspiration, Personal Values, Social, Spiritual, Striving

February 11, 2026- My mother-in-law would have turned 100 today. I look back on her contributions to our family life with a lot more gratitude than I might have shown as a thirty something and forty something work in progress. She had another term for it: “piece of work”, but she knew I was doing the best I could with what I had.

In-laws work together, coming from different generations, life experiences and perspectives. Hers was a more Victorian, adult-centric view, and she spoke of how her own childhood found her often shoved to the sidelines, by elders more concerned with “important issues”, in which children had no say. That lesson came hard to her, and I got the feeling that she wished she could be more tolerant of little ones. That aside, she raised Penny to be a caring and responsible woman; that gave me a wonderful helpmate, and Aram, a marvelous mother.

Now, it is my turn to be an in-law. I think the world of Yunhee, and get along well with her parents. She is hands down the best wife Aram could want and an exemplary mother to Hana. What I learned from Norm and Bunny is that there is a fine line between showing concern for the well-being of the family and getting in between husband and wife. I have a good situation now, in which Aram and Yunhee will invite my assistance, while I give them space to raise Hana as they see fit, and to consult me if they have issues, for which answers elude them.

I can sense the folks, and my parents, are with Penny, looking on with delight at seeing our son and daughter-in-law raising an exceptional child of their own.

A Slight Independence

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Posted by on in children, collaborating, Family, impediments, Personal Values, Social, Striving

February 10, 2026- Hana has established a spot in her sleeping bassinet, where she is comfortable being by herself and snoozing for hours. I know when she is ready to go from my shoulder to the bed, as she will shift from my shoulder to my chest. A rib cage is a poor substitute for a soft pad. All she wants in the latter is a small blanket covering her torso and legs.

She is also content being by herself in the bassinet with a mobile. She now likes watching the revolving dogs, and talks to them. The only time that doesn’t work yet is during our dinner time in the next room. She wants to be a part of the gathering, even though it’ll be a while before she can eat solid food. Our girl is very sociable.

It helps to tune in to each little move towards her independence, both for her self-assurance and for her parents’ feeling of personhood. The first month of a child’s earthly life is full=blown newness of everything that is encountered. It is also hard for the parents, who have been so used to adult-centered routines. I am glad to have been around and to let them know that this is just standard for a brand new relationship-one that will figure in their lives, for the rest of those lives, in one way or another.

Hana is slowly getting a sense of her own space, and while she will revert to needing comfort at times, the arc is bending towards a slight independence.

Super

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Posted by on in Assistance, children, collaborating, Family, impediments, Personal Values, Spiritual, Striving

February 8,2026- Today is Super Bowl Sunday, with many eyes on the actual game, some eyes on the advertisements and a fair number watching and listening to the half-time messages. Though I have my preference, as to the winner of the game, we are not watching the festivities. Other things take priority.

There have been many movies, podcasts and other media presentations dealing with “superpowers”, which each of these ascribe to one ordinary person or another. Superpower has thus largely lost its heft, and become a cliched word.

My daughter-in-law, however, is deserving of super status. I sometimes wonder if, and when, she sleeps. Though we men split shifts watching Hana, her mother is constantly present, and maintains an active schedule during the day, as well. She is constantly in motion, largely tending to matters pertaining to Hana’s feeding, bathing and grooming. We do our share of bottle feeding, diaper changing and playing with the child, but Yunhee’s hand is in all of these, as well.

Through it all, there is only a sunny face, with a determined air about her. There has been no task from which she has shied away. She reminds me of a few other supermoms: My maternal grandmother, my mom, my sister and a mother of five, who lives in Chandler, AZ. Children with supermoms are lucky for life-I know this firsthand, and am glad to see it is so for my granddaughter.

Supermoms don’t wait until the second Sunday in February.

Composed

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Posted by on in Assistance, children, collaborating, Community, Family, impediments, Matters of Faith, Personal Values, service, Social, Spiritual, Striving

February 7, 2026- Hana has decided she likes her bath. It helps that the weather has moderated and the bathroom does not have any draft coming in through the window. She is a warm weather girl, and is also very appreciative of being clean. She was happy through the bath tonight, and even more so for the feeding that came afterward. Food, at least the kind that comes with infancy, is definitely a big winner with Hana.

I hear that my own composed demeanour is rubbing off on her. After 75 years, I simply don’t see anything about which to lose composure. There are plenty of bad actors who’d like nothing better than to rattle everyone’s cage. I think it’s best that those folks just go back and get their own houses in order, especially if they wield power. We need not give them the satisfaction of keeping us unbalanced.

I was fortunate to have met several members of the Plano Baha’i Community, who are a cross section of generations. All but one of them is of Persian descent, all but one having come here after the Islamic Republic was established. The ongoing persecution of the Baha’is in Iran is also designed to take attention away from the thievery and self-aggrandizement of a relatively small class of people, who happen to be well-connected clerics, paramilitary and sycophants to the first two. Increasingly, though, the common folk are not buying the deception, especially if they happen to know Baha’is personally.

The vast majority of the Baha’is still in Iran are likewise composed, law-abiding citizens of that country, who have broken no laws, save the dictum that everyone should be Muslim, or certain approved Christian or Jewish organizations. Perhaps our composure comes from the realization that our physical lives are not the entirety of our existence-and that those who spend their physical power capital on the temporary control of the masses will come to rue the day they crossed certain lines.

I know I’ve lived a good life, by and large, and have learned from my mistakes, That alone justifies my composure.

Ambition

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Posted by on in Assistance, children, collaborating, Family, impediments, Inner Struggles, Inspiration, Matters of Faith, Personal Values, Social, Striving

February 5, 2026- Hana makes no bones about it: She wants to stand up, and so with my help, she does, in sets of twenty. She wants to climb up on our shoulders, while being held, and so whoever has the honour will support her doing that. She likes to try and scoot or crawl, twice a day, on a soft nylon pad, and will work very hard at it, before getting frustrated. 7.75 weeks isn’t quite enough time, but she isn’t checking the calendar. Our girl is already setting an agenda for herself.

Hana comes by this honestly. Her paternal grandmother earned three Master’s Degrees, despite being physically disabled. One of her paternal great-great grandfathers was a master of podiatry and invented the Fellman boot, which was distributed to all ship-bound sailors of the U.S. Navy, during World War II. Her maternal grandfather gets up at 4 a.m. and works his farm until nearly dusk. Her parents have agendas for each day, and are not happy unless they accomplish at least 80% of those game plans.

So, we played the stand up game and I counted forty stand ups, while I was holding her and about twenty more, later in the day, while her Daddy was up for it. Mommy got her to start pushing forward with her feet a couple of times, and she realizes that holding her head up is key to successful ambulation. I look forward to helping my granddaughter set her own pace. She is not going to lay around and do nothing.

Clear Vision

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Posted by on in Assistance, children, collaborating, Family, impediments, Personal goals, Personal Values, service, Social, Spiritual, Striving

February 4, 2026- Hana was upset, and the cause didn’t quite seem clear to her parents, so Papa went down and took her. She wanted me to let her sit on my knees and then calmed down. I spoke to her about what might be troubling- maybe a little stomach upset or she needed a blanket. Prelingual doesn’t mean not intuitive. She calmed down, and after a bit, she was glad to rest her head on my shoulder, and we repaired to the little rocking chair.

Having time with fewer demands from the outside world, I can see things with a bit more clarity. I don’t worry anymore about who might think what of me, or of what I might have done to offend someone. Words and actions just come more carefully, by default. I guess part of that is the catalog of experiences. Another part is deepening in spiritual teachings and integrating them into my daily life. My main goal now is to give this little person a solid emotional foundation.

A wise man, now gone on, once said there were two types of people he trusted unconditionally: Children under the age of ten and senior citizens, over 65, who have all their faculties. I can honestly say that my faculties are sharper now than they were at the age of 25, or 55.

Never Alone

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Posted by on in animal and plant life, Assistance, children, collaborating, Community, Family, impediments, Matters of Faith, Social, Striving

February3,2026- I watched a lone sparrow, sitting on a branch of an oak tree next door. The bird was quietly resting, before continuing its flight, in search of bugs or worms. In the house, Hana was in her smaller bassinet, quietly watching the revolving dogs of the mobile that hangs above. She cooed and talked to them, before drifting off to sleep. “Lullaby by Brahms” contributed to the calm.

Babies and animals, alike, are never really alone, when in their family groups. Hana has her mother, father and me, one of us always within earshot, and/or line of sight, until she is old enough to play, or walk to school, with friends. Our local animals, from the birds, squirrels, rabbits and coyotes that live nearby, in Hoblitzelle Park and visit our neighbourhood to the pets that are kept safe from those same coyotes, all have at leas one other of their species to keep them company.

I was somewhat comfortable in my own company, growing up, but have always needed a presence nearby. There were usually family and friends, when I was a child,yet when I was solitary, invented a cadre of imaginary people. That came back to haunt me later, when I couldn’t quite let go of my imagined world. Still. the ideals that I conjured up have turned out to be rather beneficial to humanity: The ideas that there are no real strangers,that people of different nations can be friends across thousands of miles, that we might talk with one another on phones that are not confined to a house, that there is value in learning geography, that there is life on other planets, have largely become so commonplace as to be cliched.

We are seeing, however, a different sort of imaginary world surfacing , in the isolationist pronouncements that are behind much of the recent actions by some in governmental capacity. One may idle a car in neutral, for a time, and certainly should back up on occasion, but driving long distance in reverse is just as foolhardy as, say, driving 190 mph anywhere other than a designated race track. My fantasies of being alone with imaginary people did me no good. Neither will pretending that one group of people, holding one set of ideas, and practicing one way of life, work to their advantage, or anyone else’s, in the long run.

Michael Jackson sums it up, in another context, at a very basic level.

All Matter

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Posted by on in Assistance, children, collaborating, Community, distraction issues, Education, Family, Historical, impediments, Personal goals, Personal Values, Social

February 1, 2026-

There is an illusion afoot, across the higher ranks of the Federal government, that there are two classes of people: Those that matter and those that don’t.

This is the logical consequence of centuries of “othering” and compartmentalized thinking. As long as one can separate self from those near or far, there is a path for those who profit from separation, to obtain that person’s allegiance. This is not a Right thing or a Left thing- both extremes follow the same mantra.

It has yet to work and will not work in the future. The only answer is adhering to the idea that all matter- and not just saying that as a rejoinder to people who feel unheard and have reminded the rest of us of that fact.

These are my thoughts, as Black History Month begins. I personally think that all history should be openly taught, discussed and made into fodder for learning how to move forward. I will, in the years left me to be with my grandchild(ren), teach the open truth and critical thinking skills. Hana already shows that she is no fool. I would expect the same from any sibling she might have.

Untangling

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Posted by on in Assistance, children, collaborating, Family, impediments, Inner Struggles, Personal goals, Personal Values, Social, Striving

January 31, 2026-

Today, partly at my suggestion, A and Y took several hours out of the house to just have “date time”. I was perfectly happy taking care of Hana and reflecting on what I might have done to be a better husband and father. Aram, thus far, is proving to be a cut above, in both areas.

I am finally close to untangling the dilemma of this account. My request to Account Recovery has gone through to them and is now in queue. In a week or so, things should be back to normal here.

I am also continuing to recover from Thursday’s mishap. Tomorrow morning, I will lose the chin strap head bandage and go with a gauze pad on the wound site.

Life is a constant stream of tangling and untangling. Some seem to enjoy the tangling part. I prefer a simpler state of affairs.

BANG!

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Posted by on in Assistance, collaborating, Community, distraction issues, Family, impediments, Personal Values, service, Striving

January 29, 2026-

The blood was coming out in a light, but steady flow. I had hit the icy sidewalk just hard enough to scrape my scalp. At 75, I don’t have as many layers of epidermis as at other times in my life.

So began my first ride as a patient in an ambulance, since my senior year of high school. That was only a mild slice that required six stitches.

The ironic locus of the accident, this time, was a Texas Department of Public Safety center. I had gone there to obtain a Texas driver’s license.

A young woman saw the fall and offered to call 911, but a man named Akenna had already called . He was being guided to put pressure on the wound, taking off his own shirt and donning his coat. A Texas State Trooper came out and took the information needed to report the incident. Then, I was on my way in the wagon.

At the nearest ER, action was fairly swift, The wound was cleaned, CT scans were done and a dressing was applied. The news from radiology was that there was a scrape, stitches were not needed, no fractured skull or brain bleeding.

I caught an Uber that Aram had called and returned to the DPS center; this time avoiding the sidewalk, and rescheduled the driver’s license process for next week.

After I found that I had left my phone in the Uber, I just drove home. Aram was already out looking for the driver, tracking him through my phone. The man was smart, as well as honest, and Son, with phone, was back after a fair amount of time.

He ended the day by dressing my wound after I had washed my hair.

Another day in Paradise came to a decent end.